Kino?

>”Hes just like me”

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> Eldritch girl

what a wacky incongruity

Woman can't comedy.

A funnier but would be a killer comes into a house and the other person pretends to die in a really dramatic way from a heart attack hoping the killer leaves.

don't quit the day job

most of the roasties who brag about how depressed and nihilist they are would never actually go through with a suicide if prompted and if put in the situation in the OP would probably blubber and cry and beg not to die.

None of them are actually depressed because they don't know how fucking horrible it is.

Ive never seen one of these arthoe roasties drop out of society and stop going outside or attempt suicide or stop going to work because they just cant sit like a rat running on a wheel anymore and think about killing themselves daily or become basically non-functioning.

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yeah they aren't in actual pain isolation and want to die this is just a thing for them to be another fandom and subculture

Piss poor.
Something better

>killer breaks in to house
>person is about to commit suicide by slashing wrists
>killer lunges to person
>person fights killer off with knife
>struggles and fights wildly
>lots of struggling, scratching, stabbing motions
>person finally stabs killer in the neck,
>killer is dead on floor.
>person slumps over exhausted
>lies there for a minute
>settles back up and resumes slitting own wrists

>like I'm so depressed
>now please give me all your attention and likes to spike my dopamine that is flat lining and that is clearly not why I'm so depressed in the first place

Kek and kino

hey man dont say that, that implies she's not as special as everyone tells her she is

so in bruges except not as funny

yes

>John Wick
>substanceless
Unironically brainlet

Unironically this is me. got a fetish for wanting to be murdered by a woman, i wanna be tied up in clingfilm tightly while naked and then be stabbed a bunch of times in the chest and neck.

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She has 147,100 tweets over a 10 year period. That's 40 a day. This bitch has NPD. Could you imagine that shit? She'd be on her phone constantly. Let's assume she has 10 hours of free time, that's 4 tweets an hour. It's even worse that she's retweeting shit, because it means she sifted though even more shit. She's on her phone constantly.

No wonder she's "depressed", her endocrine system must be completely shot. Could she even survive without her phone for a weekend?

Person gets the absolute thrill of their life killing the killer, doesn't want to suicide anymore, starts hunting other people

Just like me.. loner, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of humor.

wtf that reminds me of someone

Theres nothing funny about that. That just sounds stupidly awkward like something a brit shit would find funny.

>he has 147,100 tweets over a 10 year period. That's 40 a day. This bitch has NPD. Could you imagine that shit?

yes all women are like this. They are niggers with primitive child like brains who are easy to hook on to tech and products.

>None of them are actually depressed because they don't know how fucking horrible it is.
Watch Repulsion, then slap yourself in the face and grow some balls.

>100 matches on Tinder in one day
I'M SOOO ALONE! WHY WON'T CHAD NOTICE MEEEEEE

Thats awful. It screams of an over thought out concept with a weak pay off.

unfunny twitter nonsense

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im not talking about every woman on the planet you retard.

There are some damaged and depressed women out there but they sure as hell dont broadcast it on twitter as a joke.

Incel General?

Incel General.

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Says the fag staring at a screen all day.

>100 dipshits just looking for a pump and dump while spamming right

>does not understand the dramatic irony

absolute pleb

I hate attention seeking women faking depression. That’s cultural appropriation. I made this series of mistakes and put my life into a dead end, I refuse to help myself, and I blame women for my lack of sexual experiences. They have NO RIGHT to also be depressed because that’s MY special snowflake attention! MINE!

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Wow if there was only some super simple way for the killer to extract himself from this uncomfortable situation.

What a dumbass fucking post. The best part is that she probably dislocated her shoulder patting herself on the back for her creativity.

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You can see the irony from 50 miles away whether you play it straight or not. Its a very weak pay off.

post hairline roastie

You're talking about people you've made up in your own head to make yourself feel better and to cope with what a failure you are. Needles to say that you're a fucking retard that doesn't know shit about life, but spend your time on imageboards constantly doing mental gymnastics about topics you don't even have a grasp of.

wow rude.

Please improve it

faggot

>seething roastie has a tantrum because her made up depression isnt taken seriously on a carpet scent comparison board

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Keked

Is it me?

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No.... I'm just gonna Sneed ya... really really bad.

>le epic randum imageboard meme
This has to be THE most cringe things I see posted regularly. Literally ‘narwhal bacons at midnight’ tier Reddit-ism

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>Wanna play psycho killer?!

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how can someone make you hate them so much you want to beat them up, just through a single post
that's a fucking talent

What if the killer decides to rape her instead?

women=whore

>serial killer is non-white
>[Solo Morrissey starts playing as victim removes kebab]

>how can someone make you hate them so much you want to beat them up, just through a single post

Uhm, probably because you’re a fat ugly incel sweety?

roastie, roastie, suck on my peenus weenussssssss suck on my weenusssssss!

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I don't even look.

>wipe without looking, if you do it fast enough you use all the daily swipes in 30 seconds
>hit in all the matches at the same time, go as blunt as possible, the dumb retards who are on a dating site trying to find a husband to raiser tyrone's kids get offended and unmatch you
>with the ones left, arrange dates
>with the ones on dates, try to get them to bed
In every stage you leak suitors, that's why you should always work with broad numbers instead of being selective. Do it right, and you will have at least a new one per week.

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Imagine operating at this level. Imagine thinking that was genuinely witty, funny or good. Reading that made me want to shit immediately.

The concept itself doesn't lend itself to comedy. But if you were to improve it all there must be no struggle. If you already know the person is about to commit suicide and then they lunge at a killer you already know what the pay off is going to be. Simply have the person lunge, stab, and then quietly go back to what they were doing.

Then a portal from hell opens and a demon comes out and needs his help in the second layer of hell. They go on a cute adventure together. At the end he lunges at the demon with a stab and then quietly goes back to what he was doing.

Better would be two killers come to kill the same victim, but they just start hanging out instead and forget about the victim. The people who hired the killers get mad and hire killers to kill the killers, but then the 4 of them start hanging out instead.

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>Then a portal from hell opens and a demon comes out and needs his help in the second layer of hell. They go on a cute adventure together. At the end he lunges at the demon with a stab and then quietly goes back to what he was doing.

cringe. Reddit and morty tier.

Last time im taking screen writing lessons from you m8. Also the killer lunges at the victim not the other way around

Watch BvS

Why does everyone think The Smiths is sad music for faggots?
While it's music for faggots, half of their songs are rather satirical.
Steven Wilson, on the other hand, that's where the sad, disturbing music abouth death, love and serial killers is.

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h-hold up
OOOOOOOH I GET IT
it's funny because the victim was trying to kill themselves, but then try their hardest not to get killed by a guy with a machete XDD
HAHAHAHHAHA OH THAT'S HILARIOUS
BLUMHOUSE HIRE THIS MAN!!!!!!!!!!!

look lad. Don't get jealous and double up your samefag posting because your idea was worse.

Duude, Millennials, haha. They do things.

women think "i'm 90% happy instead of 100% happy" = real depression

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It would make for a good sketch but that premise is too one note to not have it overstay its welcome for a whole movie.

CRIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEE

scream queens sort of hit these notes

Ugh fuck.

So much CRINGE. This is the most cringeworthy thread on Yea Forums atm

>Dude my life sucks I wanna die lmao haha jk but not really though haha get it haha
Why can't women be funny

have sex

Projecting.

>hair gets wet
>nooooo I don't want to live anymore ;_;
>meanwhile I'm a 30 year old hhkv who works at burger joint, has no degree or friends, and no future, while still living in his parents basement

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Here's something actually funny:
>the killer turns out to be Morrissey and calls the millennial a fag and a wanker for having a The Smiths playlist
you're welcome Yea Forums

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>working
Oh no no no! Ahahahaha!!!!

>funny and cute

>roasties appropriating The Smiths
FUCK OFF
THEY'RE OUR BAND GET YOUR HANDS OFF THEM

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hahahahahaha

Can I get a discount if I visit you?

Based devils advocate edgelord

So just like the premium snapchat thot that got sliced by one of her beta soldier recently.
I wonder if in her last moments she really enjoyed getting killed like she used to write lmao

I could see this as a one off joke on a parody movie

Mild chuckle

Kek, that’s a rhetorical question because you know she didn’t want to be killed! You now feel superior to her for some imagined contradiction which validates your deep loathing of women stemming from your sexual inadequacies. Lol!

I have to, my parents threaten to kick me out if I'm not working at least 40 hours a week, even if it's at some burger flipping soul crushing job.
No but I'll give you an extra serving of saliva.

>roastie is still seething

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as a british person i am offended that you think i would find that funny

underrated.

horror movies always have that shit now. hellfest had that dyke bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up. her death felt so fucking good

Wow that's not very nice. Ever thought maybe you're a loser because of your poor attitude?

Getting 100 dudes that want to fuck you on Tinder is easy
t. browsed tinder as a gay s-strictly in the name of science ofc

Wow, confirmed for never having watched Beetlejuice nor having a fucking CLUE what it's about. Jfc zoomer.

>NO, YOU AREN'T DEPRESSED, I AM DEPRESSED
Only a millennial tries to show off how miserable he is.
What a waste of a generation.

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did that raise your confidence? its literally because they fuck anyone, doesnt matter how disgusting or unattractive you dunce.
you think degenerate faggots have standards?

Mental illness isnt real

Imagine being a roastie that's mad that you can never achieve true depression. Like seriously, how fucked up is that? Oh wait you don't you just want those attention and social media likes.

could've been prevented with strong parents who didnt sit around going 'i just dont get these new generation kids!'

boomers were a mistake but the attitude they created was worse. 'live for yourself and for right now'
selfish hippy mentality. thats why they curse things like nationalism because it means cooperation and not individual identity.

the girl in that picture got beheaded by an incel beta orbiter kek

>Incel still copes

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Or maybe it's annoying seeing some person bitching about being sad over some retarded ass bullshit that they're using to garner sympathy.

the guest is kino

>or maybe

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>Women can never know true depression. I’m the most depressed of all, can’t you see? Oh, you still weep when threatened with death? Well you just haven’t unlocked my special brand of depression.

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I don't think Beetlejuice was supposed to be a horror movie kid.

All millennials try to garner sympathy.
Millennial activism is always
>LOOK, IM THE TRUE VICTIM HERE

WOW LITERALLY ME!!

The Smiths fucking suck. DEPECHE MODE!

>filename
hello leftydiscord

I'm not depressed bro, and neither are you. Get a grip. You think you're any different than the roasties?

Dialate.

proofs where

I would argue that Deadpool is acceptable capeshit. I nearly pissed myself several times at the PG13 version of Deadpool 2. Not because I had to watch the PG13 version, but because Fred Savage and Ryan Reynolds had good comedy chemistry together. The whole bit with the F word bleeper button DP had, and tricking Fred into talking about fighting Matt Damon was gold.

I flunked out of college due to depression, from being unable to get out of bed, and tried killing myself. So yes, it's an entirely different story you fucking faggot. But please, keep telling me how you're "depressed" because you didn't get that one social media like.

>all the seething roasties itt
lmfao

Look up 'Bianca Devins'

Did she really lol

It unironically made me feel like a Stacey - I just wanted to see which ones were down to buy me meals and unmatched fags dropping corny lines.

Hahahahahahahahaahaha

REACH OUT AND TOUCH ME

I laughed really fucking hard at the fact that you thought that was funny at all... so hey, maybe you’re on to something

if a man tries to rape you just make fun of his dick, nothing could go wrong

I've got one. A short movie.

>an introspective, brooding philosophical movie about a loner slowly losing his mind
>it's focused around his devolving mental state, urges he struggles to control
>we can see that he's destined to become a serial killer
>he starts planning approaches, how to hide a body, begins to carry a knife
>he's psyching himself up for a murder
>final scene
>he's walking around an isolated lake
>up ahead in the distance is a lone woman
>audience are sick to their stomachs, they can tell what's going to happen
>he starts to approach her
>a crazed axeman attacks him from the bushes, roll credits

I just said I'm not depressed. Only cucks pretend to have depression. Just get out of bed lol. Just "turn your brain off" and go do stuff if that's what's necessary. DO IT!

WICKED

How is this retarded fucking meme not dead yet and why are zoomers so fucking useless?

I know it's over is one of the saddest songs to exist but yeah, The Smith's songs are more a collection of vignettes and observations that misery porn

>zoomers
>joined twitter in 2009

I can't tell if you're being stupid but it's "Reach out and touch faith"

I can't properly articulate just how much I despise this kind of humor and writing style in general.

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good pic

These suicide-joke millennials would piss their pants and beg for their lives at the prospect of real death

Gotcha. I'm actually a woman so my point still stands.

this is really bad

Feet?

We really gonna let this retard slide?

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absolutely based and pillpilled

That's horrible

pretty funny

You want an actually funny bit? Two burglars come into a dudes home, and hear the owner coming downstairs. In order to blend in they start making out, and the owner completely ignores them as he walks past.

I had the same thought, scary movie made fun of that shit 2 decades ago.

post vagina, titties or ass and gtfo

To be fair you post as much here.

Except a film couldn't do this. What you could do is
>Guy is depressed and shit
>His friends have enough of it all
>Take him out to drink
>He's just a massive fucking downer
>One of their friends 'knows a guy' and hires a assassin from the 'deep web'/'dark web' to kill the guy
Now at this point, the film can be about the hijinks involved with keeping the friend alive and eventually the friend feels better at the end (you can then either have him killed for a dark comedy ending, or have him killed by some random accident on top, or the assassin's repeated failures to kill his mark makes him suicidal or something) or you can have the assassin realise the kid is too pathetic to kill and he can't bring himself to do it, have it about how the assassin turned into the assassin because he was depressed and shit and gets the friend on the right path.

There.

>The Smiths begin to play
very based
KEATS AND YEATS ARE ON YOUR SIDE
BUT YOU LOSE

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God

>suicidal guy loses all his memories in a suicide attempt, becomes a better person after
>its a dark comedy about his friends gaslighting him to prevent him from regaining his memories

Thats kinda like a book a read once, ill try and find the title, where a man with a gun hold people hostage, convinces the hostage that they are moments away from death, pulls out his gun, shoots, and just misses them. The hostage then has a new appreciation of life etc.

I think the idea could work in a children's show if executed properly. Kinda tough to have a "killer" character these days but I could see it happening on Invader Zim.

Or the assassin was hired to fail on purpose and all his "accidents" were revealed to be through his own machinations, and the point was for the friend to be more grateful for being alive.

>killer stabs the millenial because he kills people
>"AAAAAHHHHHH WHY ARE YOU KILLING ME NOOOOOO IM GONNA DIE OBAMA PLEASE HELP MEEEEEEEEEEE"

test

>tfw depressed vibes weirded out a mugger and he left me alone
cant catch a break huh

How the fuck did millennials manage to be gayer than gen z

Women have it easy as piss. I'd love to have their ideas of problems. Fuck them.

kino
I’ll get the jews on the horn to discuss funding

Kek this people are delusional. Chad pumped and dumped them and they cant be instagram model so they are depresses.

I speak less then 10 min every week for atleast 7 years.
Once i got robbed at gunpoint and when he asked for my wallet i said "no" staring at him without blinking and he left.
These faggots whould run screaming fake depressed people disgust me. Being sad or not happy about how your life/job is its not the same as being depressed.

Hope you're doing better user. 30 is still young even if you're a fuck up. The fact you went from trying to kill yourself and not leaving bed to a 40 hour a week job is a large improvement in itself.

try to find something you like doing for better bank. Landscaping is actually pretty sweet if you like the outdoors.

Well this is an interesting opening premise but only if it's a 3 hour explpitation rape film and by the end of it the nihilistic roastie is begging for death

Big if true.

saw this on the front page of reddit desu

>tfw getting shot to death by a mugger would solve my family's problems because of life insurance.
>Don't be a bitch ass nigger, if you want it then take it off my dead body!
>HEY! We are you going?
Any movies for this feel?

>that's 4 tweets an hour.
my god
4 whole minutes an hour gone.. like tears.. in rain

>I WEAR MY UNDIAGNOSED AILMENTS AROUND LIKE A MICHAEL KORS BAG
>I DON'T SUFFER FROM THESE AILMENTS EITHER

LONDON

if u joke about wanting to kys you dont actually want to kys

Yea Forums """""comedians"""""

I already made it back in 2017.

/watch?v=7Wx7qrorl00

There's literally a movie of this, just watched it on Netflix. Piercing, with the girl who looks exactly like prime Claire Danes and the robot mc from the expanse. I enjoyed it thoroughly

If Taika Waititi directed this it would be kino.

14 year olds didn't use twitter in 2009?

i feel like this pic would be more effective if half of these traits actually applied to the people in question

the main reason they all look the same (and goofy) is the fact that they all have the same shitty haircut and they all have ugly looking glasses. a good number of them would look very good if they fixed those two things

nigga are you for real

mind if i steal it and make profit?

>woe is me, those THOTS don't feel like I do!!! WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY, gamers RISE UP!! We are owed sex!!

test

Testu

you couldn't find a record of it

>the s*iths
yikes and vomit

That's alot of projection m8

Depression is a joke. Most normalfags, like yourself, have "depression", it's because you're too dumb to do anything other than what you are told to do. Happiness can only ever come from within, so some roastie saying that she wants to kill herself because her hair is wet has just as much merit as you wanting to kill yourself because you sit at home all day eating cheetos and having the kind of existential crisis most people grow out of.

Reality is what you make of it. Generate a worldview in which you are happy, and you'll be happy. I'm 28, live in my mom's basement, have left the house once in the past 6 years because of an ear infection, and I could not be happier if I tried.

>le gamers rise up meme
>unironically
>in 2k19
cringe

Pathetic coping