>THIS SUMMER, CTHULHU AWAKENS
>insane in the brain by cypress hill starts playing
>AND HE'S NOT A MORNING PERSON
>shot of onlookers watching in horror as cthulhu lumbers out of the ocean
>cut to tom cruise running through the street as a bunch of shit explodes behind him
>shot of a bomber plane dropping a nuke on cthulhu
>the smoke from the explosion clears and cthulhu is still marching on
>cut to ryan reynolds in a war room watching the action on a TV
>"That didn't kill him? HOW did that not kill him?"
>smash cut to tom cruise convulsing on the floor
>"AAAAAAAAH I'M GOING INSANE"
>shot of cthulhu standing over a destroyed city, he looks up to the sky and roars
>IN THEATERS AUGUST
>fade to kevin hart watching a documentary about squids in his living room
>he looks out the window and sees cthulhu smashing up the city
>he looks at the can of beer in his hand and shudders
THIS SUMMER, CTHULHU AWAKENS
Big kek
based
>insane in the brain by cypress hill starts playing
Breaks 800 million easily.
how come monster movies never have shots of the monsters massive cock dangling and knocking down buildings?
It's too lewd. If a Cthulhu movie gets made, I'm all in for the vore scene
that sort of happened in that shitty end-of-the-world movie with seth rogan and james franco a few years ago.
King of The Monsters was sorely lacking in Godzilla raping buildings desu
because I'd nut too loud and they'd have to put me down
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'M GOING INSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE
>"AAAAAAAAH I'M GOING INSANE"
kek
>"AAAAAAAAH I'M GOING INSANE"
Absolute kino, send this to Bay right now.
KINOTHULU
>movie trailer
>dramatic action music starts
>"something... has awakened..."
>aerial shot of ocean
>"something... that had been there all this time..."
>giant underwater temple slowly creaks open
>inception BWAAAAA sound effect
>"something... that we never would have expected..."
>shot of cthulhu rising out of the ocean below a stormy, apocalyptic red sky
>*record scratch*
>smash cut to adam sandler standing on a beach
>his ice cream falls off the cone
>wacky trailer music starts
>"THIS SUMMER, IT LOOKS LIKE ADAM SANDLER'S FRIENDS, AREN'T THE ONLY ONES DRIVING HIM INSANE"
>seth rogen and james franco get stepped on while smoking weed
>"we need to stop this thing. but how?"
>micheal cera blows dust off the necronomicon
>"i think i might have an idea"
>giant portal opens
>shot of chris rock getting chased down by shoggoths
>"AW HELL NAW, I KNEW LOVECRAFT WAS A RACIST, BUT GOD DAMN!"
>kevin james running over zombies with a motorised scooter
>melissa mccarthy stuffing face with cupcakes
>*music stops*
>everyone stares at her
>"oh, so just because it's the end of the world now means i don't get to eat?"
>smash cut to title
>CTHULHU: THE MOVIE
>*long fart noise*
>"was that you or cthulhu?"
>"definitely him"
>COMING JULY 28th
>"AHHHHH I'M GOING INSANE"
You made me laugh my ass off in the niddle of a meeting, hope you're proud
Because I'm semi-retired. My thicker half isn't working anymore, basically.
>>"AAAAAAAAH I'M GOING INSANE"
I just want to be frens with eldritch beings
Why, hello there, Yea Forums. Would you watch my cat for me while I write about going insane?
>"AAAAAAAAH I'M GOING INSANE"
Every fucking time. It's so stupid too
This. I'm currently in the subway laughing like a fucking lunatic. People are staring at me like I have leprosy or some shit.
WHAT'S SO FUNNY? FREAK!!!
THIS is how insanity looks like
What is your cats name?
NIGGERMAN
>shot of cthulhu standing over a destroyed city, he looks up to the sky and roars "IN THEATERS AUGUST"
this is how I read that and it was really funny in my head
FUCK Cthulhu and FUCK cultists
You're making it worse. I'm a tomato right now. People are getting visibly uncomfortable.
dude lmao
>>smash cut to tom cruise convulsing on the floor
>>"AAAAAAAAH I'M GOING INSANE"
I'm one of those 'Cthulhu mythos probably can't be adapted to screen' people, so I think a goofy crapfest like this is actually the next best thing. It would be played completely straight but everyone - save maybe one overly serious actor - would know exactly what the deal was.
>First part would basically be The Happening (except intentional this time) with people going crazy and the rest of society breaking down in laugh-out-loud ways.
>Eventually the film turns into a Roland-Emmerich-style, landmark smashing, cgi-shitfest while the characters all react like Chris Tucker in Rush Hour.
Laughing my ass off at the waiting room here
Dude just like the Joker starring Joaquin Phoenix in theaters October 3
t. never lived through events that would make you insane
Bless your soul, user. You are lucky.
>inception BWAAAA sound effect
It's BRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMM you newfag.
>>"AW HELL NAW, I KNEW LOVECRAFT WAS A RACIST, BUT GOD DAMN!"