I'm gonna take you to the bank, Senator Trent... the blood bank

I rewatch his first five or so films on a regular basis. There's just something so endlessly refreshing in how casually brutal they are.

WHOSE HAWT DAWG IZ ZISS? HUH? IZZIT YOURS?

Anybody seen Janny? Anybody know why Janny did Baneposting?

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Big man with a badge and a gun

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where did the punani meme come from? I've never been able to find a clip of him saying that

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Songs_from_the_Crystal_Cave

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Post the gun clip

don't have that one but I have this one and this absolute kino scene
youtube.com/watch?v=2b5bG8Rcpxo

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I always wondered if Seagal is self aware

Seagal's best film was Executive Decision. Seagal dies on-screen, and it turns out that Kurt Russell is the actual badass of the film which is more believable. Classic.

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lol

For me, it was Under Siege even though I was hoping for Tommy Lee would kill him.

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And Seagal lost his shit over having to be killed off.

his actual best film was Under Seige where they lock him in a freezer for most of the movie so the much more interesting bad guys can steal every scene

and he punched john leguizamo like an autistic sperg

Tommy Lee and Gary Busey stole that entire film. Plus, did they really expect audiences to root against Tommy Lee Jones, especially when he just got off doing The Fugitative a year before? What the hell were they thinking? lol

....Wow, I thought I was the only one

>muh Seagal hate
>hurr I wish one of the villains would kill him durr
>I like Executive Decision where he dies 15 minutes in
fucking NPCs

Yeah, heaven forbid that people don't have the same simplistic childish thinking as you do where you root for the 'good guy' because the studio and creators tell you to. Cry more, Seagal fanboy.

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I kind of like Fire Down Below
youtube.com/watch?v=qy63L6ZEaIY
It has an interesting cast

Let me tell you something that might be a bit dangerous. I was raised in Japan. I was schooled in martial arts. I was given the title of master. They take a movie “The Last Samurai.” They have a 5-foot-2-inch little guy, whether he was straight or gay, I don’t know. I don’t care. He had never been to Japan. He doesn’t speak Japanese. He has never held a sword. They make him the Last Samurai. We got 450,000 phone calls [laughs] from everybody in the world saying, “That role was perfect for you. How did that happen?” Most of the people I know didn’t like the film and didn’t go see it. It’s just a classic example of Hollywood and the politics.

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He never said this in the movie.

Marked for Death > Under Siege > Out For Justice > Hard To Kill > Above The Law

Post more Seagal kino
>Seagal tried to jenny McCarthy to strip by saying the role in undersiege 2 included off screen nudity

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>that one reddit ama that failed spectacularly for seagal
one of the few things that reddit did well

Anyone else seen the vampire movie he did? Rented it from the two for one section at the video store one night. Was retarded

>tfw only seen Undersiege Hard to Kill and Above the Law
Marked for death that good?

>seagal and vampires
Please kind user, what is this film's name?

Against the dark. Most of it takes place in a hospital
youtube.com/watch?v=T1VrbqJEdus

Thanks.

Np. Ive seen quite a few of his movies

same, they’re kinda comfy in a weird way

i only do out for justice, under siege, hard to kill, and above the law, any other seagal-tier kinos i should add to the rotation?

I don't see what your rambling nonsense post has to do with anything, but okay faggot

I don't think Seagal was bad in Under Siege, I liked his whole 'I'm just the cook shtick', just teaming up Busey and Jones at the stage in their careers is pretty tough to top in terms of charisma.

I've never seen a steven seagal movie, but the madtv sketches with the imitator guy are top-tier, like the one with david carradine. what should i start with?

This guy doesn’t really think people buy all the bullshit he makes up right? Sometimes I wonder if he’s just a huge troll making increasingly outrageous claims to see how far he can push it before someone calls him out. But he seems so serious and seems to get butthurt when anyone questions his bullshit. Also he seems to be losing track of all the lies he’s told in his old age. Still not as hilarious as frank duke(think that’s his name) the guy who bloodsport was based on, and is 100 percent a true story. He went to Asia and killed like 100 people in a martial arts tournament where he remains undefeated and holds multiple world records. No one else saw it but it totally happened, otherwise why base a movie off the 100 percent true story?

>any other seagal-tier kinos i should add to the rotation?
Fire down below isn't bad. Kinda comfy if you can get passed some of the goofyness.

youtube.com/watch?v=OJ_iMJdDSzY

>whether he was straight or gay, I don’t know.

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Seagal talks a lot of shit but it's just that, all talk. Legend has it when Jean Claude Van Damme challenged him he quite literally ran away and forced Van Damme to chase him throughout the city. And Van Damme is like half Seagal's size

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