What's the right thing to do in this situation?

I genuinely can’t imagine this scenario ever occurring

That's because it normally doesn't, people have enough sense to either avoid confrontation or just start fighting right away.

>kid gets video footage
>post it online
>you get arrested
>you lose your job
>you lose everything

louis would have to be a real small beta manlet like if the roles were reversed this scene would make sense

>get put into a coma
>thank god I impressed that old roastie

I open carry, so it never would have happened in the first place. The day I started it was like walking through a magical portal to a world where everyone was polite.

I wear cavalry style, mostly because I like the way it looks. They say you lose half a second drawing cross body but I promise you I can put one in your eye faster than you can blink and if I can see you, you are literally an instant from death. So keep a civil tongue in your head son, you'll live longer.

The problem here is that Louis expected them to listen to him because "I'm an adult" he had nothing to back it up if it got ugly. If he were a loud, in your face boomer like the daddy they never had they'd turn back into school kids.

t.
youtube.com/watch?v=fe3na9umxDA

What would Tony soprano do in this situation?

>risking a coma or death
>risking getting your cherry popped in prison because you beat the shit out of someone the law considers a child
>risking a coma awakening to having your cherry busted in prison because you fought and got the shit kicked out of you by someone the law considers a child
What is your endgame here

call him a faggot

>I wear cavalry style
This is where I knew you are full of shit.

I just like it. I like the way it looks.

What you do is you:
A. Get up and leave it you didn't order food / Tell the Manager.
B. Laugh and mock them with your fiance.
C. Ignore them
D. Beat the shit out of his high school faggot ass

Those are your options in order of best outcomes. It honestly wouldn't even occur to me to beg him or answer him earnestly. I don't get how anyone could.

You pull your concealed firearm and tell the kid to BACK THE FUCK OFF?!?!?!?!

Now this is quality LARPing

I'd heem every last one of you fatherless pussies.

*imanari rolls you and subs you with a heel hook*

He handled the situation entirely wrong from the start. The boys there clearly had more of a claim to the place. They probably lived in that poorer area, they went to school around there, they grew up around it. Louis had probably been there twice, he even called it shitty to the girl. He liked it because he is rich and hip and white and they like crappy places. He was out of his element.

What he needed was to earn their respect. He should have offered to buy the guys a box of donuts, on him. He is rich, so what's a box of donuts to him? And he would immediately look impressive to his date, able to quiet the boys, generous, with access to tons of disposable income.

However, because he's fucking stupid and has dad-brain, he treated the boys as if they were his own dumb children. And of course they responded like children with defiance, except they aren't children so they could actually knock his dick in.

Another option is concealed carry, but he's too much of a pussy to do that and I'm not sure New York even allows it. But I think buying them donuts would have worked much better. He would have earned their respect and wouldn't have needed to tell them to quiet down. They'd been too busy stuffing their faces and leaving.

I'm dating an international woman and can't catch any cases so I'd basically tell him to fuck off or i'll call the police.

If I was single i'd grab him by the neck and throw him through the plate glass entrance of the store then curb stomp him. I'm assuming this is legal in the United States as this kid went up to Louis with the intention of causing bodily harm.

Threaten to call the cops.

...That's it. What is he going to do? He beats me up, I make him pay for it. If he doesn't, I scare him off with the threat of imprisonment. You can't actually get away with people somebody up in a public place with multiple witnesses.

>*look off into the distance*
>why dont you shut your mouth or I'll kick your teeth down your throat and shut it for you
>girl creams her pants
>guy is visibly shook
> reach into pocket
>guy flinches
>pull put a twenty, slap on the table to pay the bill
>grab a tooth pick and walk out
>drive back to my place while playing Kavinsky and finger blasting girl

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I like that we have this thread every month and it's always the same replies.

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only an impulsive nigger would potentially ruin his life to defend his stupid ego instead of laughing and walking away the bigger man.

if you dont pay with a card theres no way they'll actually find you after a barfight or random fight on the street. just leave afterwards its not a murder and unless you live in some

Meet me outside of the Walmart on Mlk Blvd and 17th if you want your ass beat faggot

>get put into a coma
these situations are why you stop being a manlet and lift

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>Being such a pussy that you buy donuts for a group of teenagers that are intimidating you
>Gaining respect

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>pull out my glock and set it on the table
>say "take your shot, cupcake" while staring him dead in the eyes with a blank expression

You don't go outside too much uh?

we get it man your dick is small there's no reason to tell us about it.

>le chin deleted by a 40 year old boomer man
Izzy dabs on this fag soon

>He should have offered to buy the guys a box of donuts, on him.

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holy shit
absolutely SEETHING DYEL manlet
cope

hahahahaha

They weren't intimidating him before he yelled at them, they were just being loud, annoying teenagers... like most teenagers. If he wanted them to be quiet, the easiest way would have been to buy them donuts. If he had a gun, that might have worked too, but it's fucking Louie. He doesn't have a gun.

It's not what I would have done, but it's probably the only thing Louie could have done to make them quiet.

Again, not what I would have done. I'm simply giving a realistic option that a pussy like Louie could have done to make them quiet down. And seeing as you don't have a better answer besides a gun (which I acknowledged and said Louie would never do) I'm guessing I'm right.

>If you don't leave me and my date alone, I will rape you up the ass. Right here. Middle of the fucking diner. No one can stop me. Sure, the police might be called. Whatever. They can't unrape you. Your little butt buddies over there? They're going to live with the fact that they stood there as their friend got his boy pussy cherry popped. Then again, knowing you faggots, they'll probably pop a boner that will haunt them for the rest of their lives.

>And if I go to prison, there will be plenty of booty to go around. You're not stopping shit. I want booty. I love booty. Tonight, I'm either getting this chicks booty or yours. The choice is yours.

>caps, reddit spacing AND spoilers
Holy shit that guy was just shitposting but you really do have a small dick lol

your level of overcompensation tells me it's actually YOU that's dyel and a manlet
as a ripped tall chad i have more to live for than some petty white trash squabbles

>why dont you shut your mouth or I'll kick your teeth down your throat and shut it for you
I wouldn't know how to say this in real life

>as a ripped tall chad i have more to live for than some petty white trash squabbles
we get it, your dick is small

kek

jerk off in front of them all to establish dominance

or pull out your concealed carry and send them to kingdom come

Jesus you're boring , later brah!

It's the "thank you" that fucked him.

bye dicklet

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>this is how weak faggots really think
You don't look like the "bigger man" when you run away from a confrontation, you look like a bitch.

>kid takes your gun
>best case scenario he pistol whips you and fucks your face/teeth up
>worse case scenario he shoots and kills you

solid plan, Jesse Gaymes.

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>dude i have to prove myself to this little idiot that I'll never see again after tonight
literal trailer trash logic

I wouldn't have bitched in the first place. Idk, maybe I'm not a boomer like Louie but I don't hate kids being kids

Tell him he'd have to kill me, because I'd memorized the school printed on his jacket. Kid on the football team with scars on his face and knuckles won't be hard for the police to find, or to pick out of a lineup. I'd ask him if beating up a man is worth getting expelled, sent to juvenile detention, and having his parents sued. I'd make him fully aware of the consequences of his actions, because that's what an adult is supposed to do.

don't tell me this will replace ornellaposting.

>Guy and his friends hassling everyone in the store
>Door swings open
>This plays
youtu.be/hmRPECd9Yig
>A gust of wind blows cherry blossoms around the store
>"I'm giving you and your boyfriends one warning to get the fuck out while you're still breathing"
>They all charge me at once
>Unsheathe my blade sexy bad boy sepiroth goth style.
>Eviscerate them with ease, like a hot knife in room temp butter
>*sigh* "They never take the warning"
>Flick the blood off in one badass whip.

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B A S E D

>implying the diner owner doesn't come out with a double barrel cocked and make the kids leave

come on man.

Why don’t you step outside with me you little shit.

BASED!

you'd be dead before you got to you

>*clap clap clap*
>*Steps out of shadows*
>"Nice toy, sport! Let's see how it fares with a real weapon."

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I wouldn't put myself into that kind of situation to begin with. Also, if the cunt boi really wanted to start something. I'd make sure he earns it. I'll make sure not to fight clean if outnumbered either. They will get into every bit of trouble as you. This is a fact that cumbrains want to prove something to their posse but if actually met with confrontation may as well play it off as a joke rather than get their day ruined.

Always play dirty if some faggot wants to start something just because he is acting like a tough fuckboi. Make him suffer like the little baby dick pussy he is.

Stab him in the neck with a fork while hes running his mouth and tell the cops i feared for my life.

Louis has like 60 lbs on that scrawny faggot. Grab him by his fucking hoodie, pull him down into the table and manhandle that little shit jesus christ.

A SLAVE OBEYS
A MAN CHOOSES

Is that a replica of Ice he's got there?

gotcha. obey user's demands you do something user never would instead of choosing to make a sensible withdrawal

It's not, but when you're that awesome you don't need one.

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>Thinking you do it for women

Fake a heart attack obviously

think he's compensating for something?

But then what if they follow you

anyone itt want to fight for real? I'm in the LA area if anyone wants to show me what they got

How weak do you have to be to get put into a coma in a fight with a bunch of teenagers.

False. You're supposed to choose not to fight. On an unrelated note, are you melanin enriched?

Holy motherfucking cringe

you are a massive pussy who doesnt get outside and has never been in a fight.

I live in Texas so I'd just drop him right there for confronting me. Act like a nigger die like a nigger.

>You're supposed to choose not to fight

thought I did precisely that breh

Sorry, I don't fight faggots

choose life

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Not in fact, but only because I don't credit people from T'NOWATH of Westeros with even that much imagination.

Call the police

nigga I'll fuck you up

When you walk around, does this tune ring in your head?

youtube.com/watch?v=h1PfrmCGFnk

"Never you little cunt, what you think you can intimidate me in front of my girlfriend? Trying to impress your boyfriends over there, don't look at them look at me. I've fucked girls bigger than you, I've taken shits scarier than you. Now fuck off before I lose my paitence and next time you better think twice before you pick on someone, faggot."

You would fugg a guy, homo :DDDD

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>Hahahaha, holy shit, how old are you? Are you in high school? Hahahahaha, oh my god, go sit down and be quiet son

based

There's a fine line between genius and retardation. Buying donuts I don't know which it is.

if you can talk this shit in the real world you'd be a pretty bad dude, but i suspect this is just the keyboard talking

>Highschool jocks are out of shape
I know you want want to pretend that “howdy stranger” didn’t happen in the locker room but it did.

ngl bro u posted cringe

you remind me of this

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>taking on six people at the same time cuz u lift
The amount of faggotry in this thread is astounding. It’s especially comical when you’ve actually had martial arts training.

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It would definitely ended differently if he was Adam Sandler

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>If you dont pay with a card theres no way they'll actually find you after a barfight or random fight on the street
>as long as you don’t murder the person still legally a minor the cops won’t look for you
Unironically believing this in 2019

This, keep your fucking hands on your weapon, that way you can shoot the fucker if he makes a move to grab it.

I'd steam roll him ghetto style and just be like "WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?" over and over until he leaves. Maybe vary the intonation and bop my head forward so I don't get bored.

We have some Kino in the making boys.

there isn't really a win here though you lose the fight you just became they guy who got his ass kicked by kids you win congrats you get charged with assaulting a minor. Honestly he should've just told him off and left with his date

leave? if your dating partner thinks you’re a pussy for avoiding an unpleasant situation then you should be looking to date less immature people.

Multiple kicks to the groin followed by kicks to the ribs, groin, and nose when he's incapacitated. Before his friends come to help start cutting off his lips

>What he needed was to earn their respect. He should have offered to buy the guys a box of donuts, on him. He is rich, so what's a box of donuts to him? And he would immediately look impressive to his date, able to quiet the boys, generous, with access to tons of disposable income.

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This is me lol. I swear you faggots just need to stop. I conceal carry too and any faggot who would brandish needs his head bashed in. Do you faggots even self defense? Jesus Christ. Enjoy your coma, death or prison. But hey, you back the shit you talked on Yea Forums up. You win at life.

youtu.be/Hs0I6B3n1Nc

lmao

Here is how you do it.

>Look him into his eyes
>begin cackling like a mad man
>howl laughter
>start punching your own face in a fervor of mania
>grab your food and shove it in your mouth in fist fulls
>pour the coffee on your head
>KILL ME! KILL ME! Daddy shes gone, Samy is fuckin gone. she up and left Dad!
>I want to feel pain behind my eyeballs! My eyes see everything. everything. i see your future and past!
>I aint livin if I aint consuming. drink coke. drink pepsi and mountain dew. its all tasty. hmmmm. goooooood! DRINK IT

Here's the full scene for anyone looking to see how they finish their date after that scene goes down.

vimeo.com/159875432

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I pull out my pipebomb and explain I will absolutely fucking detonate this piece of shit and kill everyone in here right fucking now unless he takes off his pants right now.

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Grab the nearest or mouthiest one and do as much damage to him as possible you can headbutt him, gouge his eyes, bite his nose, jam your fingers into his ears, knee him in the balls, bang his head against the floor etc... but make sure you don't let go of him no matter what.

Some of the guys with him are gonna rain fists and kicks onto your back to try and get you off and you'll feel some pain but you make sure to decimate the one you got your hands on.

Eventually when he's a mangled mess you get up and move towards another one, at this point the bravado should be drained right out of them, in the words of my father "destroy one and you'll intimidate the rest".

>"Yes office, he just went crazy and started attacking us. We had to stab him 48 times in the gut to put him down. He must have been high on PCP! He also called us the n word and was ranting like a crazy guy...."

I would rape him. I would beat all six guys, then tie them up and make them watch how I rape the one that threatened me. I'm not gay or anything but it's the only way to truly teach them a lesson. It wouldn't be an act of lust but of pure hate. I would humiliate him, kiss his neck and stick a rolled magazine in his mouth while I thrust deep inside him and slap his bleeding ass. Then I guess I'll have to store them into a car and burn it in order to avoid going to jail.

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>"Well let's see this camera footage shows them making the move towards you, and you cleared the toxicology report so it seems like a clear cut case of self defense"

I've dropped people on their heads and permanently fucked them up and gotten off because it was self defense.

>wait until he says the first word then immediately speak over him
>"the fuck you doing at my table? fuck off kid"

That's all that needs to be said. Either he laughs it off and leaves, or you fight. Regardless of outcome, the woman will still be with you and you will not be emasculated.

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>he just went crazy and started attacking us. We had to stab him 48 times in the gut to put him down. He must have been high on PCP!

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Patrice O'Neal's commentary on this fight was gold. I didn't even think this was also the fault of the black woman egging him on.

>I wear cavalry style

your opinion is now irrelivent.

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>Stand up after he finishes his attempt at punking you and shout "SNEED" then dab
>and walk away

>SNEE-
>he sucker punches you
>you flop to the ground like a fuckin trout
>the last thing you said before getting hospitalized is some obscure Simpsons reference

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>City slicker knocking out a cornfed farmer boy
Cringe

That scene is brilliant

>the last thing you said before getting hospitalized is some obscure Simpsons reference
I could think of something even worse, imagine going to jail over some obscure Simpsons reference.

Let me guess, then the bullies go:
>Woah, this guy's c-c-c-crazy!!! Let's get out of here!!
And then they all run away and leave you alone for good, right?

Bullies aren't retarded. They can tell when you're doing a really cringey and stereotypical attempt to "look crazy". No matter what you are saying or doing, if you are smaller, weaker, or less scrappy than him, he will do whatever he wants around/to you, and "acting crazy" is just more likely to give him a reason to deck you and save the entire room from cringe. Hell, he'd probably get an applause for that one.

Life doesn't work like fucking sitcoms or cartoons.

Trying to "save face" is foolish and emotion-driven. Who even are the audience in this situation, some random background people at a bar? Who cares what they think of you taking the "coward's way out"? You're the only judge of yourself, and if you think you should have stood your ground, risked life/limb, and gained a mountain of legal consequences, then you're probably a retard who deserves to get beaten up. If you can swallow your pride for one minute and realize "this means nothing, if I get out unscathed, that's a victory", then you have what we call "survivor's instinct". It tends to be stronger in those who haven't become too familiar with fictional movies and television shows, makes you less likely to seek dramatic moments in reality.

>taking an obvious shitpost this seriously
Holy fucking yikes. How to spot the bullied autists with PTSD from bullying.

This post sent my sides into orbit. I was already chuckling at the guy pouring coffee on his head, but holy shit. The level of seriousness with which you responded has tears in my eyes from laughing. What the fuck happened to you user-san? Jesus fucking Christ lmfao

>when you’ve actually had martial arts training
>Yeah bro let me just roll around with you on the pavement scattered with broken glass while your bros take me to coma town
Fights aren't all 1v1 like martial arts shit and the fact you thought this gave you an authority on the situation is laughable

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Hit first, talk later.

To be quite honest, Louis probably could have shitstomped that kid. Old man strength is a real thing and also weight. Problem is all his faggot friends would also jump in to his rescue and gang up on Louis.

Which is why you just don't bother with groups of nig tier behaviour retards. Best case scenario you knock out a group of minors and get put away for violent crime with a bunch of other retards in prion and have to shove drugs up your ass and shank people day by day to get by adding more and more time to your sentence.

I would never do anything for sneed but I would definitely for bane.
Hell, I'm already seeing myself telling the bully "If I pull that off, would you die? You're a big guy." I would probably still punch him and when all his friends join to kick the shit out of me I would say "Uh, you don't get to bring friends" Finally when they are all beating and kicking me in the ground I would just say "This can't be happening, I'm in charge here!"

>I could kick your ass, Louis
>How about I buy you donuts..
>What? How about I kick your ass in front of your girlfriend?
>Here are the donuts. You have to eat the donuts
>The fuck? Why are you buying donuts?
>Boys come over here I got you donuts
>Stay there! This dumb fucker is going on about donuts. Louis, should I kick your ass?
>Donuts...

How's Roosh V's advice going for you ya meatheadcel?

assert my dominance by picking on the nearest asian

He did the exact same thing the user shitposted about. He tried to act crazy and got beaten up.

This isn't a fucking game, normie. I'm not trying to "save face" I'm a twisted fucking psychopath, like all of you, but the difference between me and you is the fact that I am not afraid to show it, it is no different to this emotional outburst you're having at this very moment, I just don't put a happy fucking guy looking mask and save it for Yea Forums. My audience? My audience is society

you win, sir

youtube.com/watch?v=hDK6X0Nxa8M

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I'd start quoting cyborg ninja
>HURT ME MORE. MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE AGAIN
>I'M LIKE YOU I HAVE NO NAME
>I'M A PRISONER OF DEATH
>WE'RE NOT TOOLS OF THE GOVERNMENT OR ANYONE ELSE

>should you succeed in kicking my ass, know that I won’t sue. what I will do is track down and murder your family. I will gouge out their eyes and make you eat them. Get the fuck out

"So, you're in high school? On the team, right? You seem really athletic, like you could get a scholarship or something. You know, I was a nerd in high school, now I work as a lawyer. I see kids like you every day, getting pulled in for bullshit assault charges because they wanted to look cool in front of their friends. How easy of a case do you think I'll have if you assault me without provocation in front a witness? You're even wearing your high school team logo conveniently on your back. Save me the paperwork and I'll save your cherry from getting popped in prison. Oh wait, I think one of your boyfriends already did. Listen, apologize to the lady and consider putting your aggression into something useful. Sheesh, kids these days..."

he's the stupidest cuck. anyone who likes him is the bottom of human race.

I'll fuck you in your ass you punk white boy. You faggot. You can't touch me, you're not man enough. I'll eat your asshole alive, you bitch. C'mon anybody in here can't fuck with this. This is the ultimate, man. Fuck you, you ho. Come and say it to my face.... I'll fuck you in the ass in front of everybody. You bitch, come on, you bitch. You're scared coward, you're not man enough to fuck with me. You can't last two minutes in my world, bitch. Look at you scared now, you ho, scared like a little white pussy. Scared of the real man. I'll fuck you 'til you love me, faggot!

Sorry, I couldn't find my fedora fast enough to reply.

Challenge him to fight one of his friends instead

Wouldn't work. Any retard teenager trying to front for his friends isn't gonna buy that shit and all that talk.

Anything in this thread that's more than two sentences long is just people fantasizing about monologuing like their favourite edgey films when in reality trying to offer rationality and reason to some nigger tier individual and non-tangible threats is just going to get interrupted by a punch in the mouth.

>white teenagers behave like niggers
what's the last time that happened?

>turns out it's because his mom hates Obama and gays.
WHAT? That comes out of nowhere. Such lazy writing for a propaganda.

I open my jacket showing my open carry and then listen to his apology and move on

you might be brain washed by the use of "teenagers" in the news. but these teenagers are not niggers. you can talk some sense into them.

Personally? As soon as he came over I'd have loudly asked him "Why are you harassing me? Please leave me alone and stop causing trouble. Can't somebody enjoy a meal in peace?"

Then if he doesn't stop, I'd hit him with everything I've got in his temple. Then begin stomping with intent to kill. Tell the cops it was self-defense. I'm a white male after all, I'm sure things will work out.

Not as portrayed in this scene, which is the context of the thread.

Exactly this. The kid had no real power compared to the real consequences that could be brought down on him. I'd ask his friends if they're alright with being accomplices too. I'd even turn it around and say I'm calling the police and the school regardless because he just threatened me with violence...unless of course he apologized to me.

the dog comes out in phase 2

Louis Cuck didn't try to talk. He just cucks.

Let's not forget he uses his position of power to force females to participate in his perverted sex acts. He's the bully.

Ppl really missing out on a greater conversation

Sure sure lmao

Cope, weakcel

Was Hughie from the Boys supposed to be based on Louis C.K.?

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THE ABSOLUTE STATE OF Yea Forums

u guys are sheltered faggots i truly mean it
fights arent about winning, its about respect.
"uggghhh i saw in the internet that this guy got into a coma :("

"ugghhh i can get hurt and its too cold :("

you guys probably dont eat pussy or ass because "ughhh this massachussets university study says its dangerous to my health :("

unironically lmaoing@your lives
you guys are like kyle brofloski´s cousin
cant wait to hear about your hot spicy meme replies with a hint of passive agressiveness

>Let's not forget he uses his position of power to force females to participate in his perverted sex acts. He's the bully.

This is what he should have done in that situation.

>kid gets mouthy
>Louis says "Hey kid, I'm a famous comedian."
>gets up and starts jerking off
>kid is powerless to move or stop him, unable to leave, paralyzed, just like all the women Louis jerked off in front of
>the power of his white male privilege grips the young boy and his friends in place while he pleasures himself again and again
>finally leaves, tossing the kid a cum soaked napkin to wipe the look of horror off his face, his life now ruined by non-consentually watching a fat man masturbate

Unironically based.

kino

I keep an inconspicous pinhole camera + mic rolling on my person at all time when I expect to be around others. In this situation I would just apologize, ask for their names so I could buy them a drink, then go hand the tape in to the authorities

Is this the guy from Raimi's Spider-Man?

Tell him you don't want to talk and if he keeps harassing you you'll call 911. The end

just push the kid nto a table causing a huge scandal, people will break up the fight in no time.

>I try to watch the fight
>they're too fast for me to see

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are you a woman?

>He-man theme plays

If you just apologize, ask their names and buy them a drink, it will be minor charges.
You should tell them to live you alone but still in a way that makes them attack you anyway so you have evidence of assault to put them 5+ years in jail.

based beta

thats not beta behaviour

It would be a major charge no matter what. Police love an easy conviction (it's literally free money for the state + improved department statistics) and any case with video evidence is an easy conviction.

>just say sneed

First thing I would do is blow the kid's brains clean out of his skull with my S&W I've always got strapped.

His pun bitch friends would probably be too scared to do shit after that, but that wouldn't matter. I'd proceed to turn around and point the gun at them all as they cowered back into the corner of the restaurant. "What's the matter?" I'd ask, a mirthful smile playing across my face, "never seen a true man before?" All this time my erection would be growing, looking at the tears now swelling in their eyes, the cries from their mouths as they scream in sorrow over their friend's corpse. All four inches of my glorious cock would become diamond solid as they watch it push as my pants, and they'd know who was truly in charge then as I ordered them all to strip down, and thy would do it, or they'd end up like their friend.

The hole in their friend's head would still be warm as I forced them all to take turns pushing their flaccid, limp penises into it and fuck it to completion one by one. They would be too scared shitless to refuse. One of them would even try to run though, like a coward, and so I'd gun him down too. "Look at that," I'd laugh, "He wants to bottom for you all too!" And then they'd have to start all over again, sodomizing their other friend's skull plughole now. Meanwhile, my women would be blasting Niagara falls out of her panties watching me assert my manhood over the boys. She would be on the floor throating my cock in submission to me, but that's just warming me up and holstering my god dick for the real fun. When the lads all finished in their friends' craniums, their crotches blood coated, I would wipe that blood up their supple cracks, and plunge my full depth of myself into their anuses each until their bodies were claimed as my own. Hah, oh how I would relish in their screams and cries.

The police would show up and arrest them all, and they would be put in prison for assault, but their cellmate would only be getting my seconds.

dilate

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"Now listen son, if you apologize nicely right now I won't call the police and your school for threatening me with violence."
That's the responsible thing (police), while also turning around the "say please" thing on him, emasculating him in front of his friends. Then I'd bang the girl after that show of paternalistic strength. I just demonstrated I'd be a good father, not a brute who'd beat up a teen.

>Louis sits atop a rickety wooden throne, ornately carved to resemble black phalluses intertwined
>"My children."
>the crowd is tense and hanging on his every word
>"My most noble servants of the BBC."
>the zebras tied up in the back of the auditorium start stamping their hooves
>"Bring out the first victim."
>the crowd erupts in cheers and screams of excitement
>greased nubian slaves shout instructions angrily in a foreign tongue
>a bruised white woman, is led out on all fours, naked and weeping and with a chain afixed to her neck
>the nubians howl with laughter and whip her buttocks with dried grass
>"Is it true that you are in fact a white woman, the most inferior of all Great M'Buto's races?"
>"y-yes"
>"And is it also true, that when me and K'tokba here approached you in the parking lot, you *refused* to take his mighty African seed into your supple pink womb?"
>"i-it's true"
>"THEN BY THE COURT OF THE BBC, I FIND YOU GUILTY OF RACIAL INJUSTICE!"
>the crowd is exploding with lust
>Louis spits into her face
>"RELEASE THE TIGER!"
>a crack team of pygmy servants undo the padlock to a rusty cage hidden stage right
>a 300lb Sumatran tiger is released onto the stage and bounds towards the woman, raping her irreperably
>"TIGER PEEN! FOR THE QUEEN! TIGER PEEN! TIGER PEEN!"
>the crowd, many of which are African fauna, begin screaming and murdering each other
>thunder and lightning crashes outside
>Louis is carried off the stage by monkeys, while being wanked off by a snake

Wow does this mean that there's some sort of baseline lunatic ratio in the world's population who will always commit crimes regardless of the number of guns per capita, since normal people just won't shoot a person even if they have a gun.....but in the United States, the culture is so fucked like some third-world country that people who aren't necessarily part of that lunatic subgroup will still commit acts of homicidal violence with a gun?

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Also reminds me of the "you have to eat the eggs" guy.

B A S E D

I can just tell you would get knocked out by literally anyone here let alone someone who could fight for shit

What would bagel boss do?
youtube.com/watch?v=sHU5wzcX9rQ

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If you can't stand for yourself, then why would you talk though with a group of people?

Also, if you already got to that point. might as well go bananas and attack first. That's what I would do if somebody threatened me, I would suckerpunch him. He should know better than to openly show his aggressive intentions.

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Honestly there's just something in my brain when confronted with these thought experiments that just makes me think about the best way i could kill the person threatening me would be. I'm not even saying this to be edgy, the entire video i was going "grab the knife" in my mind, only to realize later that he doesn't have a knife. But yeah, since the kid has his hand on the table i think stabbing it with the knife would be effective. Probably would make the woman hate my ass and leave the date but oh well.

In the moment you say that, he will attack you. What you gotta do in this sittuation is clear:

>while he is talking, shove a finger very fast in his eye
>get up fast, hold his hair with your left hand, put his head over the table, and punch him straight in the face as much times you can before the first friend gets close
>now it is just you and a bunch of faggot teenagers in a corridor without them ganging up on you, they are all in just one side

Fighting clean is not an option when you are outnumbered.

>waah the roastie will think ur a psychopath
Who gives a shit. This is about your honor and your place in this world, you can find pussy later.

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Blacks

"Kick my ass then. See how you like starting off your adult life with a felony assault and battery conviction right off the bat, followed by a decade or so of abject tedium in a prison cell broken up only by occasionally getting your porcelain ass raped by niggers, then being spit out the other end of the prison industrial complex as a middle aged unemployable bum with a criminal record. Hit me faggot, go ahead. You'll wish you hit me harder when you see my smug face in the courthouse as you get dragged off to prison in chains. I'll invite the other guy you beat up to enjoy it with me. Maybe he can add a few years to your sentence. By the way, nice bruises on your knuckles tough guy. Really makes up for that down syndrome face and that prepubescent 7 year old voice"

Too tryhard?

Honestly what Louie did was the best course in that scenario. The date was toast, but if you're a comedian you should be fine getting another anyways

The only way I could see this working for Louie otherwise would be for him to be only verbally aggressive with the teenagers and for him to pull out his phone and threaten to call the police. It would be slightly risky but that would save the date (if he really cared about it, which I honestly wouldn't because he can easily find another).

Physically Louie had no chance, he's too out of shape and the guy has his gang to back him up. Honestly though the kid would have more likely been black instead of white as well

>what's the last time that happened
All the fucking time when i used to live in white trash area. I know you want act like all whites are this superior race that cannot chimp out like niggers but you are very wrong.

In my dojo sometimes my sensei puts you to fight by yourself against two or more people. The entire fightflow is completely different, instead of being like a fight game where you have to analyze your opponent and not rush, the only way to win against groups is being proactive and rushing like crazy, but most of all, learn when to commit in one person, and when to let go of one opponent and rushing on the other. The longer the fight is, the worse it is for you.

More teachers should teach their students to handle themselves against groups, I have seem many great martial artists who got rekt because they didn't learn how to deal with people at the same time.

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Yeah no. These will not listen because they don't care just like niggers. Whites aren't as perfect as you think.

Let the guys have their fun of course and leave.

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Sounds like one of those laughable street karate McDojos lmao

Words can't get you out of every bad situation. You ask him to hit you and he will hit you. Do you think hooligans care about felony charges? Of course he fucking don't, he probably have a dozen already.

If somebody got to the point of saying he will kick your ass, you attack him first. Show to that faggot that the world of men is a savage one.

>Who gives a shit. This is about your honor and your place in this world, you can find pussy later
Based

>slice through them all faster than the human eye can see
>for several seconds you and the bullies stand perfectly still
>"Omae wa mou shindeiru..."
>as soon as the clinking noise rings out as you sheath your sword they all spurt high pressure blood from their necks and slump over dead in unison
>"...mudada"

Underrated

you cant fight high school kids as a grown man and plus this is nigger thought process, "ay myne my whole street cred depends on this nigga" you're a slave

t. kid who has never been in a real fight

>starts/participates in fight as middle aged out of shape man
>your opponent is a man in the prime of his life, presumably one used to fighting, and one with nearby friends who likely live similar lives who condone his behavior if not participate
>you get your teeth kicked in, take a bad fall (because you are knocked out) land on concrete and possibly literally fucking die because its incredibly easy to die from that and Hollywood strongly underestimates the fragility of the human body/head (this is assuming he does nothing to you after you fall(which is admittedly a fair assumption in this case I'd guess)
I admire not just rolling over, but at least acknowledge the risk
The real answer, that isnt as "cucked" as possible is to tell him to fuck off because we're in a public place with a lot of witnesses and hes wearing a school letterman while being white making him insanely easy to identify to the police, unless hes willing to literally kill everyone in the room.
Still a possibility hes a retarded ape and fights you anyway, but the only real way to minimize that risk is to take the cuck path

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>hooligan
I'm going to assume you're some kind of European using this term and assuming a person that young is out of prison and also has multiple felony charges, so I'll let you in on how things work in America:

You see in the 80's, conservative politicians gave wimpy middle aged white people the greatest weapon of all against our potential victimizers: tough on crime legislation. If you get physical with me in any way and I choose to get the police involved you're basically fucked and going away for so long, you wont get out until you're an old boomer who is basically physically incapable of being a violent criminal and it's your turn to be harassed by teens who can beat you up.

funny thing is the punch won't put you in a coma, the fall does

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t. white boi who's never lived in a niggerfied neighborhood

Go back in, come out, go back in, come out, enough times until they say you're a nerd, laughs at you then they leave.

>nigger thought process
It is very much of thing in white trash areas too.

>Chihuahua grows 6 feet

In my experience, get gay
>HEY THIS GUY'S TRYING TO SUCK MY DICK
>I DON'T WANT MY DICK SUCKED MISTER

That's a lot of opportunities for them to trip me in front of my date, or get up in my face and block my path. I could just sprint for help.

out of all the retarded fight advise itt with this situation this seems to have the highest likelihood of actually getting you killed by his friends because they were mad enough to impulsively stomp your head after you naturally lose the 1v3

"Say that one more time and I'll knock your teeth out"

This is a little difficult since he's standing right over you, which makes striking first harder.

The right move is to try responding casually like you're nervous and apologetic then suddenly throw a punch mid sentence.

It's too late, his friends and everyone in the building are already laughing at the fag

Put your fingers up his nose, hai

desu if he had a track record of not caring about violent felony charges in the US you wouldn't see him outside of prison at that age
He literally is not old enough to get a violent charge and walk around a free man
>Felony assault and battery usually are felonies punishable by approximately one to twenty-five years in prison, depending on the specific provisions of each state's sentencing statute or sentencing guidelines.

Patsy Parisi's son. I COME FROM SOMALIA AND I WOK!

kek

Do what this guy says but
>Punch him in the balls
BAM
Actually, he's an easy target for a ball shot, and while he's laying on the ground grasping his nuts look at his friends and say "Who's next?"

If a pitbull is ripping your arm to shreds, what do you do? You stick your finger in their butthole. Therefore, get your pitbull to attack the bullies since they probably wouldn't know that trick.

The people in here saying Louie would get in trouble for fighting are wrong.

If somebody threatens to beat the shit out of you and send you to the hospital while standing over you aggressively, you are allowed to hit them first in self defense.

>You know what, I don't know what I was thinking. I apologize for telling you guys to settle down, it wasn't my place. I'll just leave you guys to it. Come on babe it's getting late
>Now that he thinks he cucked you and won sucker punch him and run

>sucker punch him and run
Kek based. Too bad Louis is a fat fuck so they catch him and beat the shit out of him.

It's a no win. The answer is to not to eat at inner city shitholes.

Um you can't fix height by working out

That's literally why /fit/ can't get laid retard

>every state has the same laws
>being stupid enough to believe it’s as simple as what is legal and what isn’t when they’re several witnesses to back up the other parties version of events
t. YouTube law degree

>muh jailtime
>muh coma
Nice excuses faggots.

just act insane

or you could always try the ol' "you tryna get your dick sucked boy?"

He unironically did the right thing. Why get yourself hurt to save face with a roastie?

>responding to a post that says lift weights
>having martial arts training isn’t superior in a fight to lifting weights
>if I claim I carry a gun and have training I’m automatically going to fight everyone
Show me where I said I would engage these fucks. I’ll wait you dumbfuck.

The most important account legally will be from bystander witnesses, and none of them are going to back the jocks.

alternatively, just say nothing and smile at him. dont give anything to work with, but show youre not afraid of him

>HANSEN I'M CALLIN' YOU OUT

>Mam can tell you tell me what you saw?
>Yes Officer. These boys came in being loud. The ginger Mexican asked them to be quit. The boy came up to the ginger and they were talking. I couldn’t here what was said. Suddenly the ginger Mexican attacked the boy unprovoked.
Good plan.

>Coma town
Holy shit faggot I posted this the other night talking about not taking people down in street fight. You stole my bit AND are still such a goddamn retard to not understand training in MMA doesn’t mean you go down to the ground. What a pathetic loser you are.

looks like a school shooters homemade anal dildo

so not having a gun doesnt increase the homicide rate then? So why carry guns?

you see kids, now right here we have a cringe post.

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I like how you intentionally construct a narrative that justifies your cuckery.

Because there is no downside to it

Honestly, just walk away and don't even engage
Also if your hoe gives you lip, tell her to shut the fuck up

If I wanted to save the date I'd offer them all some money to go and get some posh ice cream for me and my date enough blocks away for us to be finished by the time they got back.

If I just wanted to save my skin I'd do this. Karl Pilkington did this when a mugger in London tried to steal his running shoes. He just started arguing with himself out loud and it scared the guy off.

>What's the right thing to do in this situation?
Just get on the phone and call the police and laugh while he gets tazed. Simple. Only niggers act differently.

That's exactly what I was saying.
>You stole my bit!
Never claimed I owned it, get the fuck over yourself, Joe Rogan.

They won't. They literally just got in.

>only niggers act differently
Oh user, i wish this was true.

We no longer live in civilized times and it's going to get worse and worse so unfortunately you have to learn how to fight.

>Not be a dick and call them out in such an aggro way to begin with
>If you decide to try to impress your date anyway by yelling at some kids are just being a little rowdy then simply deal with the situation like Louis did but let the kid know that theres really no win for an old man like you and that even if you got up, fought them and won, then you'd be arrested.
>Let kid know that hed be assaulting you in a place full of witnesses in jackets that tell people what school they go to.
> If all this fails and kid goes aggro ape mode on you, then get the fuck out of there and if your date gets pissed for running then she can go fuck herself. Who the hell would take a fight 4v1 with literally no winning result.

Louis dodged a bullet, chick was out of line.

It was truly the woman who was wrong in this situation anyway

Calmly say to my date
"Step outside a moment honey"
Then when she's out of earshot beg the guys to leave me alone and pay them $100 to let me look as if I'm beating them all up.

>mfw I just got back inside from a 7 hour shift of delivering food and absolutely fucking everyone I encountered on the job was completely polite
Go outside you fucking loser.

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kek

If you can do 50 pushups you can fight anyone

Which is why you should always fight on grass.

Louis was jerking off to this scene

this whole show was just him reenacting his sexual fantasies

disgusting...

>Saying "can you please lower your volume"
>talking tough