Ideas for Seinfeld 2019 episodes

George accidentally says that a man tipped a Hispanic man 100$ at a restaurant, everyone hates George for noticing the man was Hispanic

Kino
Cringe kino

Scratch that, you just gave me an idea. George becomes a cuckold.

>Kramer likes using Jerry's Tesla but he misses the smell of exhaust so he puts a gas generator in the trunk and jury-rigs an exhaust out the back
>He drives by people, dusting them with smoke from his electric car
>Newman's apartment is being fumigated so he's been sneaking into Jerry's Tesla at night to watch movies on the screen, draining the battery
>He almost dies of CO poisoning

One yike

kramus alt rigtht

kramer and newman stealing amazon boxes off peoples porches

jerry gets an ipad and start brad posting

>Kramer steals Jerry's car
>does a drive by
>returns it and jerry gets arrested
>Kramer!

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newman mukbang

Excellent.

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Kramer listens to takeshi69 and tries to start the race war
George accidental likes ex-gfs facebook pic and goes through and likes all 3000 of her posts to cover

Sounds like an actual episode, good post

Actually funny

Jerry smoking weed
Elaine joins
George asks why elaine is in "polyamorous relationship"
George calls her slut
Jerry has sex with man again (this is second season, every episode jerry alternates between man and woman, each time it is a different race)
Kramer tries to sell fake CBD oil

Lmao

Also, anyone else find it hilrious LD hates other people’s seinfeld ideas. Yet, curb is all meh and shit like this is better

omg I heard this
youtube.com/watch?v=5hBa342ze9A

>omg

let me fuck you in the ass

Elaine downloads tinder and has 100's of matches, Kramer and George wonder why they have none.

I would reboot the series with the following adjustments:

>Kramer is a large black man
>George is a fat Asian woman
>Elaine is a bisexual Puerto Rican
>Jerry is still a Jew, obviously

>they are all room mates to reflect the different socio-economic times
>George is no longer the butt of the joke but a fierce, sassy, fiery feminist

>George accidental likes ex-gfs facebook pic and goes through and likes all 3000 of her posts to cover
amazing

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>Kramer becomes addicted to this new hip imageboard and spends most of his day on it
>He only comes over to Jerry's to charge up his laptop
>Jerry gets concerned about how long Kramer spends on that "stupid cartoon board" and tells him that "something has to change"
>"You're right Jerry!"
>Next day Kramer confesses he became a janitor on the imageboard
>"It's great, Jerry, I knocked the application out of the park! I thought I was gonna have a lot of competition but they were practically BEGGING me to do it!"
>"You became a janitor? On that site? Kramer, nothing's changed, you just monetized your addiction, can't you see?"
>"Oh no no no Jerry, you got it all wrong, I'm not getting paid."
>"No pay?"
>"Nope." *mouth pop sound*
>"So why..."
>"Because it's not about the money! The past few weeks I've been trying to track down this one guy who keeps messing up the board with those inappropriate pictures I was talking about...." Kramer leans in on Jerry and lowers his voice
>"Yeah, yeah, you told me..."
>"Well, I almost got him Jerry! I will bring him to JUSTICE for the smut and filth he's spreading on MY board. With my new janitorial powers, I will have the means to find out who he is and stop him."
>jumpcut to Newman sitting in his apartment in front of a laptop giggling, wearing a headset
>"Hehehe I'd like to see you try...... Janny"
>audience laugh track

soup nazi gets harassed and put out of business for rumors about a privately held ideology

seinfeld transition and ebola

Elaine brings up the Climate Change issue but George thinks it's just a big sham

Newman hacks into Jerry's twitter and posts inappropriate tweets

>someone uses Jerry's pics on grinder
>gay men are into him on the street
>finds out its a fan that is in love with him
>fan commits suicide
>jerry is shunned

dunno

>George keeps making this thread

George gets a new girlfriend but it turns out it's a trap. He tells Jerry and Elaine the sex was amazing regardless.

Elaine throws a hissyfit about how he shouldn't support mentally ill people by sleeping with crossdressers. Jerry is neutral on the topic.

George about to leave but turns to Elaine with a smug face and tells her "You shouldn't be so bitter Elaine, you'd make for a cute trap". Elaine is outraged and spends the rest of the episode experimenting with FtM crossdressing.

Attached: Elaine hair.jpg (1280x720, 110K)

>Kramer has a sex change and gets a vagina
>he is so excited that he leaves the hospital immediately after the surgery with no time for the wound to heal because he wants to show Jerry, George, and Elaine his new vagina
>but when he gets to Jerry's house no one is home
>so he passes out on the couch due to post surgery pain and fatigue
>Jerry comes home from a trippie red concert high on xanax & lean
>he see's Kramer on his couch and thinks that it's Elaine so he begins to take advantage and mistakenly rapes Kramer and accidentally cums in his freshly constructed vagina
>As soon as Jerry shoots his load, Kramer wakes up and screams "Ahhhh what are you doing, Jerry? It's me Kramer!" "You just came in my vagina!"
>Jerry says "Oh my god I'm so sorry Kramer I thought you were Elaine ... Wait what, your vagina?
>Kramer: "Oh so 10 seconds ago you're balls deep in my gash but now all of a sudden you're a skeptic huh?"
>"Were you really going to just rape Elaine if that was her on the couch instead of me?"
>"You disgusting pig Jerry! Wait till I tell Elaine. I should call the police!"
>Jerry: "No no no wait a second. Umm ... how bout we make a deal Kramer"
>"I'll help you get in contact with a top class surgeon to fix your vagina free of charge and you don't tell anyone about this little misunderstanding"
>"Deal?"
And then the rest of the episode is about Jerry trying to contact a world famous Ecuadorian surgeon who's being held hostage by MS13 because he gave a sex change to the cartel bosses son and Jerry needs to find a way to have him released before Kramer tells Elaine about the rape

>George misgenders someone at the mall and gets on the national news

Kino

>Come back to be George.

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>george gets take into police custody suspected of planning to commit a mass school shooting after a heated argument on minecraft
>Jerry raids area 51 by himself
>Elaine gets addicted to licking nintendo switch cartridges
>Kramer becomes vegan for a girl but gets thrown out after bringing over beyond burgers

>After watching Jerry's act Kramer thinks he would make a good stand up comic.
>Things do not go well....

Attached: PEOPLE MICHAEL RICHARDS.jpg (910x512, 35K)

>"I'm LOVING this trap thing, Jerry!"
>"Your whole life's a trap, my friend."
>audience laughter
>slightly annoyed George
>"Well... at least I'm getting pussy... boipussy!"
>Jerry, disgruntled, shouts after him
>"IT'S NOT REAL PUSSY!"
>Kramer opens his door
>"Did someone say pussy?"
>audience laughter

Gross. You incels really need girlfriends and need to stop consuming porn. No wonder women find you guys repulsive.

This but unironically.

This is the darkest timeline.

>"I'm LOVING this trap thing, Jerry!"
>"Your whole life's a trap, my friend."
>audience laughter
>slightly annoyed George
>"Well... at least I'm getting pussy... boipussy!"
>Jerry, disgruntled, shouts after him
>"IT'S NOT REAL PUSSY!"
>Kramer opens his door
>"Has anyone seen my cat?"
>audience laughter

>Jerry joins the Alt-Right

Some guy knocks up Elaine and Kramer has to take her to the abortionist

>Jerry
>Elaine
>George
>Katherine (she doesn't go by Kramer anymore, bigot)

George gets a trap girlfriend and loves it until Elaine points out that it's gay because it's still a man.

George gets an existential crisis and tries the rest of the episode finding bullshit excuses why fucking a trap "is not gay".

skribbl.io/?2ycOY5Czzu get in

>kramer gets really into qanon
>jerry starts dating an influencer, wants to break up with her because she cropped him out of an instagram photo
>elaine gets dragged into multilevel marketing
>george gets employed at a startup, but only as a coffee boy

Saved.

>Troll turns out to be Newman

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george accidentally eats an edible before work but it makes steinbrenner like him and he gets a promotion

Elaine dates a virgin who was on the verge of going on a mass shooting until he met her. She finds his manifesto in the trash, dumps him, and then she hears on the news that he shot up a theater.

Jerry throws Bruce Lee into a car.

>Newman not going "Hello... Janny"

Botched it.

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SHE CALLED ME A FUCKBOY JERRY

vocaroo.com/i/s16Ljz2GItE5

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"she was bigger than me jerry"
"she was bigger than you?"

All the characters in Seinfeld were garbage though.
Oh look, George is exasperated and yelling again.
Oh look, Kramer said something stupid.
Haha Elaine's plan backfired yet again.
Poor Jerry, always the straight man.

Every fucking episode.

Kramer is totally the guy that would visit /pol/.

Loud Puerto Ricans move next door to Kramer and he stumbles into becoming an ICE volunteer after his attempt to build a secondary brick wall as a noise barrier within his apartment attracts complaints

newman shoots up PS118

>Jerry and Elaine watching the news in his place
>the man shows up and Elaine changes the channel immediately
>Jerry goes "hey, wasn't that..."
>Elaine abruptly cuts him "What? No idea what you're talking about Jerry."

>Jerry throws Bruce Lee into a car.

Kramer* would fit better.

>"I had no other choice, Jerry! The gook was assaulting me!"

jerry memeflag posts nazi propaganda on pol episode

kramer and newman start a podcast

(this already sort of happened during the dick van dyke ep)

Fucking based

I would watch

fixed it for you family
seinfeld for millenials is seinfeld

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millennials are dead already: i.e. irrelevant
the generation that sought status more than any other before it is ironically no longer relevant
let that be a lesson to everyone

>Kramer comes across discount juul pods in bulk
>Vape smells like country ham

Why do zoomers feel the need to copy a far superior generation? Get your own style, you stupid fucking faggots.

kramer gets food poisoning after eating ass

Seinfeld is for Gen X retard. Few millenials watched it as it aired at all though it's beloved because we caught it in constant syndication

Jerry goes to Sneed's Feed and Seed

This. Seinfeld was made for people who were all growed up in the 1990s. That means generation X. Millennials were toddlers shitting their diapers at the time and couldn't understand Seinfeld.

I was 13 when I started watching Seinfeld back in the late 90s.
Fuck off with your retarded "waaah you have to be a certain age to consume X product properly" concept zoomzooms

kramer become uber with jerry tesla
kramer pick up jery
jery and kramer arrive
jery have to pay
but it is jery's car
jery complain
kramer

Elaine poop i my mouth

JERRY

IPAD

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

jery have japanese toilet

kramer starts an underground scooter race competition

george works for trump and hes paranoid he might be a tranny

Trump is voiced by Larry David and you only see the back of his head.

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Newman uses a drone to deliver mail, until it crashes into Jerry's car and they settle things in court.

>Kramer finds the perfect pair of jeans
>he tells George about new boutique with superior craftsmanship
>superior craftsmanship?
>”superior craftsmanship jerry!”
>George buys a pair of jeans and looks amazing the first day but shrink after first wash
>George gets into fight with boutique owner
>goes viral in angry rant about “inferior jeans” caught on video by bystander
>starts a YouTube channel to capitalize on internet fame
>”Angry George” rants about white genocide

>X. Millennials were toddlers shitting their diapers at the time
Not necessarily true due to its runtime being '89-'99. Millennials are 1981-1996.

Nothing is in this thread is millennial humor though. It's all jabs at gen-z

GARY GET IPAF

George has to send in his application for his new job on their website, but he can't solve the Captcha and flips out.

"THIS CAPTCHA IS PLAYING WITH ME JERRY, I TYPE THE EXACT LETTERS IN AND IT STILL WON'T ACCEPT IT!"

>Elaine getting gaped by Peterman

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No, millennials are pic related, people who only watch leftist propaganda in Netflix and shitty Marvel movies.

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>millennials
>superior
What, for being a generation of blue haired SJWs who turned politics into console wars and who pride themselves on spending their 30s pretending they are young, thinking watching superhero movies for kids makes them young, and adopting dogs and calling them "your babies"?

You are boomers except you are more pussified, you don't have kids, and when you do you turn them into trannies.

George gets cancelled on Twitter. Question is, what did he tweet?

How old are you?

21

People your age are in college and its SJW as ever. Gen Z heavily overlaps with Millennials.

Millennial teens weren't transitioning. Gen Z ones are doing so at an unprecedented rate. Your idols are thugs with tattoo covered faces. Its all over

>there are people 10 years younger than me on this board at this exact moment

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I have no idols, praising celebrities is an American thing.
They are normal people who happened to have contacts in industries, and more often than not they are lesser people than me, and praising lesser people is also an American thing.

>Gen Z ones are doing so at an unprecedented rate.
Of course, millennials helped push political propagandas fucking everywhere.
Millennials are a generation of cultural terrorists, everything they touch is corrupted and whithers down.
You have managed to kill even fucking Star Wars.

lmao cope

You can't use the word "cope" on its own.

I have never watched Seinfeld
What's the show about?

>Kramer become janny
>Newman post sneed

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George votes for Trump

Jerry discovers cuckold porn in the internet

>cumbrain humor

Wow, pathetic. Try going outside sometime.

Sneed

George pretends to be a tranny in order to reap the benefits, such as using the queue free transgender bathrooms, but things go sideways when he gets harassed by Kramer

nothing
it's actually about Jewish subversion

>George diagnosed as retard

This is about as based as it gets - All you grampas out there, take note. This is Generation Zyklon, and we're here to stay.

>Jerry becomes a janitor but doesn't want Kramer to know
>Newman sends Kramer a Discord message about it
>he bursts into his apartment in his usual flamboyant way
>"JERRY THE JANNY!"
>Jerry throws his arms up
>"Here we go."

The line about bringing him to justice and shit sounds more like George on a power trip than Kramer, desu.

kramer comes back from a trip to brazil and mentions smoking a cigar in the amazon rainforest

>janitorial powers

lol jannies can't even seen anyone's IP, let alone ban them or track them down.

>"Has anyone seen my cat?"
based

>Kramer: You're a cuck, George.
>George: Cuck? No no no.
>Kramer: She's sleeping with another man and... *pops* you know about it.
>George: AHHHH I'm a KEK JERRY.
>Jerry: Could be worse, y'know.
>George: COULD BE WORSE?! WORSE?! HOW?
>Jerry: Could be cucked by a trans woman.
>George: AHHH... what if his... her?... you know, down there, is bigger than mine?
>Elaine: *sniggers*
>Jerry: Well, I guess there's only one way to find out.
>George: How? HOW? I gotta know.
>Jerry: You need to, uh, you knowwwww, watch.
>Elaine: .....he has to watch?
>Jerry: Yep. Has to watch. Maybe not the whole thing, but enough to see... things.
>George: FINE, whatever, I'm a cuck, then, I guess.
>Kramer: Mmmmm, told you.

This guy is at fault in a car accident and doesnt have insurance. So his punishment is to be the victims butler.

>kramer tries Fortnite

youtubemultiplier.com/5610ae2077d02-this-is-seinfeld-nigger-comedy.php

elaine get abort

The right can't meme

"no"

>tfw you read a depressing post about some user's life, but then you realize you are much more pathetic and also much older
Let me dream, just a little longer...

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jery get wow classic

Bitcoin is boomer coin, zoomer version would be Chainlink

>WELL JERRY, IF BLACK LIVES SUPPOSEDLY MATTER SO MUCH WHY ARE THEY ALL OFFING EACH OTHER LIKE HOT CAKES? MY FRIEND, DESHAWN LATRAVIOUS, FROM HARLEM? REMEMBER HIM? HE ADMITTED TO ME HE KILLED THREE OF HIS FELLOW BLACK MEN BEFORE HE TURNED 25!

Here's the real millennial seinfeld

>Jerry commits suicide because he's alone and can't find work
>George gets addicted to opiods, burglarizes his parent's home for drug money, then overdoses and dies
>Elaine becomes a single mother, who spends all of her time on social media.
>Kramer gets deported to whatever shithole he's from

I'm a 26 yr old fuck but my dudes, you're making me feel young

your generation is defined by harry potter LARPing finger waggers. The bar is that fucking low we could have another napoleon or hitler or stalin and still be remembered more fondly than you prissy faggots.

>t.zoomer
damn right.

I want to fuck hipster Elaine so much,

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>Newman is a janny on an imageboard
>George wants to speedrun Frogger at SGDQ so he decides to become a tranny
>Elaine loses her job at Buzzfeed after she tweeted that she likes men

Read it in their voices.

man im scrolling through this thread and i just felt bad that nobody bothered giving this guy a single (You)

this one's on me, fella

>george's trying out new frames
>asks the clerk for opinion, calling him mr.
>it's a tranny
>clerk gets furious
>george runs away
>the other day he's approached by a group of anitfa, the tranny clerk is between them
>antifa threatens to beat him up unless he joins them for counter manifestation
>george agrees
>jerry sits on a sofa watching youtube on smart tv
>alt right manifestation live
>see george walking in the front row of antifa
>kramer bursts in
>did you see that?
>they watch as george fights with alt right, gets lost in the crown, crawls away crying

>Kramer: Jerry! We have to vote for Bernie, Jerry!
>Jerry: What? Why?
>Kramer: No more student loan debt, Jerry! Kaput! Gone! Debt forgiven!
>Jerry: But I don't have any student loan debt!
>Kramer: You don't?
>Jerry: No! Do you?
>Kramer: Oh, tons. I should be locked up in a debtor's prison Jerry. It's bad.
>George: I'm not voting for Bernie, I'm voting for Yang.
>Jerry: Yang, who's Yang?
>George: He's gonna give me Yang bucks. $1,000 a month! For doing absolutely nothing!
>Jerry: And you believe that? It's just an empty campaign promise.
>George: Don't insult the Yang Gang, Jerry.
>Jerry: You're in a gang?
>George: That's right. *shows his latest tattoo* And when President Yang's in power, no one will ever have to work again thanks to universal income.
>Elaine: Sounds like communism.
>George: SHUT UP IT'S DIFFERENT!

>threatens to beat him up
believable until this point.
antifa don't ask questions lol. or care if you actually are a nazi or there is any proof/evidence. someone just has to not like you and you are boned.

> Elaine: I'm sorry I'm late. I dropped an airpod.
> George: Pardon?
> Elaine: I dropped airpod in the kitchen and it disappeared. I couldn't find it. I was literally on my knees for 10 minutes looking for that stupid airpod.

George finds out that female restroom at work is much more comfortable than male one and demands gender-free restrooms.

Segman, Bennett, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taff, Segman, Bennett, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taff, Segman, Bennett, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taff, Segman, Bennett, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taff, Segman, Bennett, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taff

The Stock Tip but it's bitcoin.

jery get ipad

>George accidental likes ex-gfs facebook pic and goes through and likes all 3000 of her posts to cover
Would unironically be a funny episode

This, so much this!

>Jerry buy an old ass car and pretend to use it to host comedians and getting a coffe with them for his made up tv show

>Jerry invents a new copypasta and is conflicted about whether other people are stealing his material

>Jerry accidentally makes an extremely popular meme about Kramer and is afraid to tell him he was the creator

Elaine gets into politics and becomes Vice President

Elaine become a surrogate mother for her gay brother

> George discovers Yea Forums and now obsessed with getting (You) but anons keep ignoring his posts

no it wouldnt

Oof

> Jerry starts getting his material from Yea Forums threads but jokes become more and more racist while Jerry can't stop because all his ideas are shit

Put me in the ribbit post
Also
This message:
Fuck gays Reddit, you know they’re not heroes or victims, just fucked in the head right?

south park did it

Kino

>Jerry befriends Sam Hyde without realising who he is and gets cancelled.

Isn't George suposed to be hispanic in the show anyway?

Nothing is more cringy than watching a leftoid use an old righty meme

Not diverse enough

I can think of at least one.

George get mistakenly doxed as a an alt right leader, leading to a lot of attension from women who are attracted to dangerous men

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