After all, why not? Why shouldn't I keep it?

There's a funny gif about that.
I've obvioulsy lost it a long time ago however.

It's a beer commercial

cuz Sauron didn't even need it to win

Why didn't they make more good rings to give everyone superpowers.

One of the elves at the council suggests this but Gandalf says they should deal with Sauron and the ring whilst they have the chance

Just an 'elf' lad? Not just some elf suggested that but one of the mightiest elf niggas to ever live. Read a book. Damn.

That's literally what Saruman kept telling the white council to calm them down.

Based /his/ autist. Are you a historian youtuber by any chance?

I've never got into Warhammer Fantasy because I fear it's just the same level of retardation than 40k

Absolutely 100% do NOT listen to because warhammer is fantasy capeshit. I would recommend Hyperion, Dune, WoT, the kingkiller chronicles (fuck off cuckposters), and if you’re just looking for something fun with good worldbuilding read the Stormlight Archives.

Hot take: tax posting was never funny

Thats so fucking cool. Makes me wanna play AoE 2

have cheques

Underrated

fucking kill yourself holy shit

>kingkiller chronicles
Oh no no no no

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the author looks exactly like what you'd think he'd look like
but fuck it I'm still waiting on doors of stone

that's a fucking cringy cuck mentality

>t. Uresh

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Somebody actually wrote this crap and somone published it. I think I'm gonna be a writer now boys

How was that going to help? Sauron was still going to win.

youtube.com/watch?v=Pu49Larl9GE

>hot take
kys reddit faggot

Why not take this route? It easier, skips all the hazards they found in the way, and infiltrates Mordor where Sauron would expect the less.

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Redwall

Silmarillion.

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>The two guys next to the thing don't react at all
Lame

The eastern border of Mordor is impassable due to large numbers of Easterling fortifications and patrols.

Jack Vance's Lyonesse is the best pulp fantasy series. Wolfe's Book of the New Sun is the best literary fantasy series. I'd suggest you read those, but then the YA garbage that makes up 90% of multivolume fantasy would become unreadable.

CAPITALISM BAD GIVE AWAY ALL YOUR POSSESSIONS JUST GIVE SOME RETARD YOUR RING OF POWER
why was tolkein such a fucking communist?

>keep a diary about what a fat neckbeard loser you are
>change some things around and turn it into a fantasy novel

Could work.

Black Company series by Glen Cook

>Hyperion
Only the first book is good.
It is very good, though.
They should make a movie of the Priest's story

did he ever stick it on his cock?

Seriously. Conan.

Based Warwolf.

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I really don't understand why the elves and dwarves was at the meeting in Rivendell.
Neither contributed to defeating Sauron or Saruman in any meaningful degree. Why not invite three hobits from the Shire also? even random trees had a larger contribution to the fall of Mordor.

Sauron controller the ocean through Umbar, this is told in the book.

All four are good. You may not agree with Dan’s idea of humanity and our place in the galaxy, but the prose is phenomenal and Father Captain de Soya is B&R

Why are the Valar so fucking lazy? Took them ages to deal with Morgoth and then all they do about Sauron is send 5 fucking nobodies to deal with him when literally any one of them could've just killed him..

>But if you divide a non-infinite number an infinite number of times the resulting pieces are non-infinitely small.
wut? that doesn't make sense, if it is non-infinitely small then there would be a final number, but since you divided it an infinite number of times, then there would always be a smaller number, it would in fact be an infinite small number.

it was never funny tho

Malazan Book of the Fallen

>others might have pushed her down on a bed and mate pressed her all night long, creampie after creampie, but at least I got to hold her hand

Only the first three.

The One Ring is mortality.

>noldor are faggots
>punish all the rest of elf and mankind for it

Truly they are retarded.

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this. it's better than lotr

Being complete assholes is kind of their thing. They just don't give a fuck about Middle-Earth. They already have their own paradise which is completely inaccessible for Sauron, so why should they care ?

Way too many pirates and the sea is controlled by an easily corruptible spirit

I love you. Have sex with me. I try to tell people to read Hyperion but they never listen. I am now reading the extended Dune saga.

>written by polish author
>ten books, no POC
>inspired GOT
>no one knows about them

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>Dworkin fucks a unicorn

The unicorn gave him a ruby necklace he HAD to put out.

Fuck off back to /tg/.
You're like those Yea Forumsirgins who read books based on AssCred.

based
karsa did nothing wrong

>Uresh, have sex

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I sort of wish I stopped on Dune, just finished messiah and it was so sad I don’t want to read any more

>cool story bro, now have sex

>no POC
And that's exactly what they'd shove into the adaptation, and you fucking know it.

Yeah it was tragic I have really enjoyed both of the series (enough to read the standalone prequel books that his son Brian Herbert has written). Unsure what to read next. I read all of Dan Simmons' books, Dark tower extended, LOTR, Hyperion cantos, and now Dune.

They would. I'm glad every attempt has died in the idea phase.
They would 100% make at least one of the Kings wives black and then make a nonsensical mix of the brothers and sisters various races and just fuck up the entire thing.

>Have sex

I'm about to read them for the first time,should I read the Silmarillion first or just order of release? I feel pretty shit for not having gotten around to these until now.

Lol, what a fucking soulless husk of an autist you must be.

Silmarillion will give you all the details of the rise and fall of Sauron, as well as the history of middle earth and why everything is the way it is at the start of the Hobbit/LotR

My lore is weak and I have a question. I really dumb question. Could Smaug have defeated a Balrog? Also was the Balrog in the mines at full strength or was it faded?

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Could Smaug's foreclaws rip off a Balrog's wings?

you dont need it too understand the story, but if you want to know the entire history of the world before reading lotr then read it

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Thanks guys. I'm going to read everything.

I've just read the first book and I got cuck vibes from it but dismissed it as memeing.
I think im still going to finish it off anyway.

Aren't they like incorporeal or something?

how would you even aim that

First lotr, then the hobbit, then the silmarillion

Work your way backwards in time

Was Middle-earth flat?

With magic you dumbass.

Initially yes, but after the Numenorians tried to attack heaven it was made round and Valinor was separated from it.

And who exactly would cast this magic? Gandalf doesn't seem too prone on using magic.

lord of the rings

I've been on the chan since 2010 and I've only seen one (1) meme what was more unfunny than Taxposting

Yes but at the end of Second Age became round.

I recently attempted re-reading The Name of the Wind and i got stuck around that Trebon subplot, can't move past it. some elements of the story are great, i like sympathy and love naming, like the focus on in-world storytelling and the importance of stories and names, like Elodin (despite this one stupid passage), but Christ, do i fucking hate most of the rest of it. Kvothe being a master-everything, every girl swooning at his every word, every note of his music making people bawl tears and all the rest of that neckbeardy, self-insert garbage. and don't even get me fucking started on that whore Denna or Della or whatever the fuck her name was. lalso, upon re-read, most of the "clever" or "witty" turns of phrase of Kvothe's that make every woman in a mile radius around him drip are actually clunky and contrived as fuck

The later ones are beyond based, you should read them all

>reading

lmao

>NOOO YOU CAN'T JUST KEEP THE RING YOU HAVE TO DESTROY IT

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that and the reaction from the soldiers is clearly delayed, what a bunch of hacks.

>Sam acquires the ring
>becomes master gardener
>the Shire flourishes
>he's kind of an evil gardener, though
>he uses pesticides and is mean to rodents
>story ends

But then........lord of the rings wouldn't happen!!!

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>Hobbits live happily in mono-ethnic ancap societies
>all races stay separate and this is how they like it
>Elrond warns both Arwen and Aragorn of the dangers of racemixing
>people of the North and Western world are good, people to the East and South are evil
>women are largely domestic with few exceptions, entire journies come to pass without a woman involved
>good and evil are clearly defined moral positions and men can be corrupted but not evil inherently
>everything is as according to the will of a divine creator
>monarchy is a good system of government
>male fraternity is more important than romance

What did Tolkien mean by all of this?

>Tolkien adamantly denied allegory
I think he was the greatest troll

those were just the standard beliefs at the time.

>Dwarves are greedy, conniving, money-obsessed swindlers who'll lure unsuspecting people into contracts
>short, hairy, big hooked noses, always going on about reclaiming their "rightful kingdom"

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:)

This right here!

Witness this user

He also kills everyone to stop them walking on the grass

I mean, you do it once and no one does it again. The yards are fucking flawless

>autistic /tg/'s fantasy game now in a poorly written series of over lenghted books!

>open sea, on a boot against flying ring wraiths
gee I wonder why

White men doing all the heavy lifting, as usual.

>Mfw you've avoided elodin for like 5 years now because you can't finish his assignment

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Why is Morgoth such a conniving bitch?

>Feanor slams the door in his face
My favorite moment in the entire series, but only after consideration.

>muh cuck fetish
t. Jorah
t. Every elf in LotR getting cucked by Galadriel
t. Every soldier in Warhammer getting cucked by the Emperor

>Why is Feanor such a conniving bitch?
ftfy

Why didn't sauron just not be a dick?

Wasn't the point of it being that, since he is the one telling the story, he's the ultimate unreliable narrator since he is, after all, a bard and is tooting the fuck out of his own horn and it's up to you to see the subtext that all he is is a cucked, orphaned gypsy kid that's all fucked up in the head and ends up doing something really bad and probably failing and then living out the remainder of his days as a fucking wagie barkeep.

It's like reading twilight keeping in mind it's the diary of a retarded teenaged gril and edward really isn't a vampire she's just fantasizing and that he's really just a fucking creep and she's fucking dumb.

I find that I can enjoy a lot more shitty books with this mentality. Doesn't always work of course.

I read Lord of Light by Zelazny. It was interesting.

>Wasn't the point of it being that, since he is the one telling the story, he's the ultimate unreliable narrator
if that is really Rothfuss' intention, hats off to him. that said, it probably isn't and is neckbeard wish fullfillment

Read wheel of time. The tv series is dead on arrival so not gonna be worth the watch but the books are great. 14 books plus one random prequel. Books 7 or 8 through 10 or 11 are kinda rough but I’m on book 12 of my first read through and enjoying it a lot, miss reading

>Book of the New Sun
This one really blew me away when I first read it, and gradually I've seen it recommended more and more. I'm glad it hasn't become cool to hate it yet.

Like 40k it's a mixed bag. Some novels are fucking shit (most), but some are good but that's because the author's are competent.
Dan Abnett's stuff, whether it's 40k or fantasy is basically the best black library has to offer (Eisnhorn/Gaunt's Ghosts etc).

The Gotrek and Felix novels are actually fun.
Dark adventures. IIRc it gets fucky with giant slayer and then there's that lull where they got rid of the original author (willima king) and replaced him with someone else.
I have no idea how it turns out.
There's less shit in fantasy because the 12yr little faggot demographic favored 40k more often than not and that's how we got shit like that loser ben counter and that faggot goto committing some of the most egregious sins to word and pen.

Gotrek and Felix.
That Dark Elf series by Dan Abnett.
If you're into the vampire shit and necromancers you can look at the Savile Vampire Counts series.
Since they killed warhammer fantasy I have no idea wtf's been released. All my books are a over a decade old now.

go through corsair infested waters, through enemy haradrim territory, through easterling fortifications and across almost the entire wasteland of mordor as opposed to mostly friendly territory until the very end?

Discworld, if you haven't.

>cutting rope

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>"Frodo, you must understand that the creature known as woman was given life only to make miserable the race of men. Entrusting half of your assets to one is one of the greatest mistakes one can make!"
The extended cuts are worth the price.

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It's honestly the first thing that dawned on me when all this gary stu type shit kept happening to him in succession.
He's telling the story to the scribe guy.
The reality of what actually went on at the time could be completely different.
After all his old mentor was a storyteller, wasn't he?

Or am I mixing this shit up with Eddings?
(at the end of the day, all ths fantasy shit rolls into one).

Magician (book 1 of the Riftworld Saga) by Raymond E. Feist.
This book is what got me into reading fantasy.
It comes in sections that you can choose to read if you want.
You can read the first book and leave it at that.
The first two, or ideally the first three
(magician, silverthorn, a darkness at sethanon) and then forget about all the rest of them if you choose, or, if you like them like I did, you can always have the later books on the backburner that you can comfortably return to at some later date.

Magician is good though.

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New Sun is plotless drivel.

Excellent. Also try his Instrumentalities series.

Cordwainer Smith, or something else?

Balrogs are Maiar spirits (same type of being that Gandalf is) so at full strength probably not.

his mentor was an Arcanist, so basically another wizard, not a storyteller. his father was a bard, so that rubbed off on him. again, i don't think there's an issue of unreliable narration. the Chronicler himself describes being in awe of Kvothe, going so far as to call him a god or something (very anime moment when he shows his powerlevel and stops Chronicler and Bast from fucking each other up, that and a couple of others). there's some gay writing along the lines of "in that moment he could believe he really was X and Y and Z" x,y,z being glorious, chill-inducing garbage

I want a pitchblack-haired yet undeniably white Lady gf that's got piles of gold and servants and is also a spiteful bitch sorceress but not to me please and thank you.

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nearly hit the camera man what the fuck!

>she finds you amusing because of your writing ability
>you don't have any

Fucking kill yourself, if I wanted to read about some girl tugging or her braid for 20 novels I'd kill myself too. Wheel of Time is shit.

Hmmm I have read this a few times - is she having sex with these guys or not? I thought it was implied that she wouldn't let them fuck her which is why she keeps losing their attentions.

Is instrumentalities that's trash he put out in like 2010? Could not make it through the first one.

It's why I like Feist.
In WOT the story goes on and on. But with Feist it's all split up into sagas that have their own distinct beginnings and endings and you can just stop when you want.
None of this waiting around for the final conclusion for years only to have the author fucking croak on you.

Being able to write at all is a notable thing in that setting, Croaker is the only guy who can write in the whole company (except maybe the captain and lt.)

Don't know if you two anons are aware, but apparently the Black Company is being adapted and Eliza Dushku is going to play the role of the Lady.

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SAKUJO!

Another bastardization to ignore

If all it took to gain the interest of an evil demi-goddess was some shitty waifu self-insert fanfics and maybe the occasional poem then sign me fucking up.

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Honestly, it gets shit on a LOT, but the Sword of Truth was extremely entertaining to me when I read it. It's kind of similar to Harry Potter in the sense that it's a lot of fun to read and the characters stick with you, but it's also very easy to make fun of.

Also remember, her more voluptuous sister wans sum fuk

Sneedposting?

He wanted to be ruler of earth but all the other Valar told him to fuck off so he made it his purpose in life to fuck up everything the Valar tried to do.

What did he do wrong again?

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was ginger

This. Funny thing is, there's (ZOMG) black people! in it and it's fucking diverse enough and nobody had any fucking problem with it because the characters were likeable and in the context of the story - a mixed mercenary company made up of various ethnicities banded together from all over - it made sense and was fine.
So, perfect setting for the modern day diversity shitshow.

How exactly are they going to fuck this up?
It's a given that they will.
I'm just trying to imagine how they'll fuck something up that's basically served up to them on a silver fucking platter.

>Dusku
Eh..
Maybe 15 years ago or more, but even then, she's just not Lady material.
Certainly not now.

Savage, but fair

hi is this the jew store can I order a jew

iirc it is quite clearly implied she is shacking up with them and also fucking them for a time, until she moves on to her next sponsor. she was coaching a whore or something in the 2nd book

They won't go deep enough on the brutality of it (just about everyone in the company is a rapist or murderer or something), or they won't present the magic warfare or the Taken intrigues in a way that works, or they won't be willing to discard characters (like in the books Mercy and Tom Tom are dead within the first few chapters, who knows, but it's a given they will fuck up.

>black people
Ew

Mogaba and Sindawe are too based for this world and if you don't know about them just shut the fuck up

>it gets shit on a LOT, but the Sword of Truth
Why is that?
I can recall, oh, about 15 years ago when I was on a fantasy novel kick I was looking up on forums and people were just shitting all over goodkind and this series.
Thing is, I have a sneaking suspicion that the people shitting on it then are the sorts of progressive soicucks that are shitting things up everywhere today.
Am I anywhere close in this?

Or were they really just shitting on the writing ability.
I seem to recall a lot of making fun of a scenario that had a chicken and and goat or some dumb bullshit.

So was it just junk that you're nostalgic about or were all the haters just protocucks in the making?
Maybe I'm thinking about another series.

Sony about spiderman

>going right to soibois for zero reason
Rent free, stop going to /pol/ and clean out your brain

I love the imagery of the two battle wizards, one black, one white, doing their weird voodoo jungle magic dance shit and playing pranks on eachother throughout.
I can't remember their names, but I liked those characters.

>They won't go deep enough on the brutality of it
You're right of course.
>or they won't present the magic warfare or the Taken intrigues
True.
>or they won't be willing to discard characters
this is a definite. The aforementioned black wizard's bro that gets offed in the first few pages won't die

Honestly, as always with this shit, the only way to genuinely depict in is through animation. Imagine Berzerk (1990's) but not so obviously japanimation style.
Doing all the magic stuff live action would only end up looking retarded.

Good. Plotfags are a growing cancer and I'm glad to see at least one get cucked

>t. triggered onions
and you bring up pol out of nowhere too lmao
>rent free
yourself leddit tourist
you have to go back

Why didn't Hitler just fly the Jews to mt doom

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Goblin and One Eye, relentlessly planking each other with their magic right up until the day they died, I loved every minute of it

too bad they never got enough xp to hit level 3

kek
However,
>undeniably white

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>runs straight to soi
>BUT IM NOT /POL/
Were all fooled

Nice.

*pranking

They were just shitty hedge wizards anyway, what made them special was their insane drive to prank each other, given enough time and motivation they could still be absurdly dangerous (see one eyes spear)

cope, seethe and dilate
also
have sex

Best book i ever read except Alcoholics Anonomous (it saved my life so)

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The Swords Trilogy by Michael Moorcock starting with Knight of Swords

why didn't frodo let boromir just borrow the ring so he could save gondor and everyone else? why didn't he let faramir even take it? why did frodo hate them so much?

my god who shot this trash. The lens is all wrong and haven't they heard about color grading?

Hey you can keep thinking about all the soibois invading your favorite franchises, I'm going to go have fun talking to people in this thread, have (((fun)))

>Americans are so cucked that they have to pay the government for the privilege of getting an inheritance or winning in a lottery
L M A O

>The cuckhold Chronicles
Embarrassing

For a second I thought you were going to say Saberhagen, his Swords series is pretty good, gods get bored and shit out 12 magical swords each with unique powers, watch humanity scramble

Ring wraiths are afraid of water numbnut

Based magician poster. Coincidentally this was also the first fantasy book I read as a kid, but I forgot the name of it so it took me forever to find it again

If your whole basis of them being afraid of water is that one scene where they use Elf magic to call a flood on them, you're wrong.

They hesitated at the river because it was the marker for elf land, which was protected by magic.

They still crossed it(or tried to)

You sound needlessly angry. Take a nap kiddo

Just don't know why anyone would suggest wheel of time of all things

Because it’s an enjoyable, though admittedly drawn out fantasy book series. And yes the braid tugging is annoying as shit, as are all of egwene’s and elaynes chapters, and most of Perrin “MUH WIFE” aybara chapters. Still mat cauthons and rand’s stories are pure kino

I can recommend you what not to read
do not read The Sword of Truth/Legend of the seeker & Orcs by Stan Nichols, I still regret it to this day, especially for the later, such wasted potential

I agree about Mat and Rand but man there is a ton of shit to wade through

This. Books 1-6 are certified kino. Then it slows down but when Sanderson picks it up he does a great job

They've invested so much time into something so ultimately mediocre they feel the need to attempt to assuage their rage by inflicting this null-experience upon others.
Or they've just glossed over the worst parts in their minds, as most people are wont to do, and, with the highlights at the forefront of their memory, they recommend it earnestly in the hopes that others might find the same parts equally enjoyable to themselves.

Just started the gathering storm, after starting the series last December. Book 12 is such a different read as a result of the new author but I’ve heard he does well, especially after how hard it was to get through books 7-11

read some light novels like Goblin Slayer or KonoSuba desu

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God, what boring films.

I agree I just think it’s worth it. Mats chapters continue to blow me out of the water especially after how much I hated him for 3/4 of the first book.

reddit bitch
go back

Reminds me of Evangelion, why would anyone suggest this mess to anyone else to watch, regardless of the good bits it's such a ultimately ruined mess that I can't imagine suggesting it to someone except as a spiteful joke.

My nigger
Read a bunch in my early teens.
So damn comfy.

Sanderson gets shit on by contrarians but he’s a very good author, and Stormlight is worth a read if you like his style

I’ve heard mistborn was some of his best work, you familiar with it? But I’m only 3 chapters into the first book he took over, reads noticeably different from Jordan, not in a bad way, but I just haven’t read enough to get a sense of his style / talent

A mini serie, one fo each pilgrim should work fine, maybe two episode per story to be able to flesh out everything. Priest, Soldier and Winteraub were probably my favorite, Poet was decent to, don't remember much about consul or Lamia story, the Keats wank in her story and in the second book really went over my head though

MISTBORNE

Seriously the trilogy is the best fantasy ever written in modern times. Vin is the bestest of all girls in fantasy, and the ending is more beautiful than lotr.

ha

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I actually was not a fan of mistborn, but I know a lot of people who love it

>enter based Tolkien thread
>zoomers are praising Sanderson
it's funny on one level but please leave

>illogical
>have sex
ok was this written by a tranny?

I left a list of historical primary sources mentioning cutting ropes on siege engines as a comment on that video and it got deleted reeeeee

tolkien meant that the trannies need to be cast into mount doom

mistborne is pretty good
vin made my dick hard

oh god it's so fucking based

Basically
It's the only very long fantasy series that's both finished and also wasn't ruined by the ending. I waited almost 20 years for tarmon gai don and it was basically the best payoff to wait for a series. Basically exactly what I wanted

They happened to be there already for other reasons. The elves and dwarves were fighting their own battles against Sauron in Mirkwood and the lonely mountain.

>uresh
what does a "lenatti accent" sound like?

Soldier of the Mist and the Wizard Knight by Gene Wolfe

These books are so fucking bad, I have no respect for people who enjoy it. It is everything bad about the fantasy genre.

Black Company is like 10 books and ends on a Star Trek TNG tier appropriate ending, it's not really that rare, it's just hard to get your hands on the good stuff with all the trash out there

Malazan. Gardens of the Moon is just okay but Deadhouse Gates is a masterpiece.

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Black Company is fucking garbage and I will fight anyone who says otherwise
>Every character is just a walking gimmick and has no actual motives beyond their gimmick, some characters, even important ones, are literally described entirely by their names because they're so simple. (The Captain, Tom-tom, Goblin, Silent etc)
>There are times where massive amounts of important details are just glazed over as 'AND DEN WE KILLED THEM. IT WAS BRUTAL TRUST ME BRO THERE WAS BLOOD HONEST'
>Characters constantly change their reactions to events, literally between lines
There's a part in the first book where the big monsterwerewolf is attacking their fort, and the captain's reaction is basically "Lol who cares" whilst he lays in his cot, entirely disinterested in the situation, which actually made some sense in the moment because they wanted a certain person in the fort to die, but then, without any description, he suddenly changes his attitude, gets up and is all "HOW DO WE KILL IT OMG HOW??" without a single word describing or referring to this sudden change in attitude. The change is so strong that they literally follow the beastwerewolf into this narrow manor, cornering this allegedly invincible beast with the goal of saving the one person in the entire fort they wanted dead by a hand other than their own, it made absolutely zero sense like most of the character's actions throughout the book.
It's awful, Glen Cook can't write for shit.

>over lenghted
ESL anons shouldn't have opinions.

As time goes on the earth gets less and less great.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banach–Tarski_paradox

I'm usually very snobbish when it comes to literature but Magician is still one of my favorites. I never read past book 4 in the series though.

>and it got deleted reeeeee
no way Lindy is that fuckign childish. WTF

Ok, why?

His comment was probably automatically spammed for having either a bunch of links or a bunch of what looked like gibberish to the algorithm. Lindy has videos denying climate change and leaves the comments alone on it. I don't think he gives a shit.

The point he was making about the rope is that it's not so freely cut and wasted as it's portrayed in the movies, not that rope is never cut at all.

Alright fair enough, haven't watched Lindy in years and I jumped to conclusions.

4 and 5 are kind of lulls in the story so it's sort of a speedhump. Get over it and the good stuff comes back. Not at first mind you; the beginning of the demon war was kind of tedious IIRC as they introduce new characters and you don't get to your favorites for really quite a while, then it just gets going.

I'd like to reread magician and actually complete the entire saga as I stopped at the second last arc, at the silver fox or hawk talon or some shit and it's been so long I've forgotten everything.
I'm thinking about skipping 4 and 5 though. Or at least "prince of the blood", whichever one that is. King's Buccaneer actually as some interesting and overarching plot relevant shit in it.
The prince book deals with things that I'm not sure ever actually becomes relevant ever again.
I can only vaguely remember a banquet in Kesh where something bad happens.
And really that's it.
Yep. At least that's one thing to skip.

That would require traveling through Harad lands. Which is a fucking giant desert inhabited by fantasy sand people that allied with Sauron.

It's filled with a bunch of wish fulfillment like when the main character showed up at school and started dunking on the professor in front of everybody even though it was his first day. Then there's other stuff like when he's captured by that weird sex demon but he ends up being so good at giving her the dick that she lets him go. Do you remember when he went to that matriarchal village and quickly mastered their system of martial arts? Of course he mastered it with is. It is so childishly stupid.

With some difficulty.

Eh, maybe. I personally couldn't get into it after the books of the north. The rest of the cast was just too boring

Get some of the other wizards to do it then. At least one of them should have some auto aiming magic.

>It's the only very long fantasy series that's both finished and also wasn't ruined by the ending
wrong

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Well, besides Malazan, obviously. I know Erikson writes fantasy, but he's too good, so I put him in literature in my head since nobody else in the genre comes close.

You are aware that Kvothe is clearly lying to chronicler, right? He’s an incel and Rothfuss planned it that way. It’s pretty genius, because even the reddit readers who aren’t high IQ enough to understand what’s going on are still able to relate to the wish fulfillment fantasy

>>all races stay separate and this is how they like it
Literally the only race that stays separate are the Elves. Dwarfs trade with Dale all the time. Hobbits live next to humans in Bree Land.

>Elrond warns both Arwen and Aragorn of the dangers of racemixing
Doesn't stop them.

The rest is just typical romanticist dribble. The type that was popular in a cynical post World War 1 world. Like, if Tolkien was alive today he would probably be a massive environmentalist. Guy fucking loved nature.

RiP my sides
whta the fuck is that?

This is both incredibly stupid and completely brilliant. It's just vintage early internet.

I think that's just a post hoc rationalization for liking shit. I've seeing interviews with the author and I've watched him play D&D, and he always roleplays as a Kvothe type character. There is absolutely no reason to believe he's pulling some Gene Wolf shit.

I'm surprised that I forgot about this series. I only read I believe the first 2 or 3 but it just totally slipped my mind when I went to college. Haven't touched it since.
Is that guide legit?

It is. Skip the esslemont books though, imo. There is some important stuff in there but the guy is just not even half as good as erikson

>pulling some Gene Wolf shit.
?
Thanks for the warning. Would reading a wiki type summary of those works really suffice to fill me in?
It kind of scares me that I have to actually plan what I want to read these days instead of just reading everying in order no matter its relative quality or relevance.
Too little time, too many books on the backlog.

Betancourt's Amber. Nye's Xanth. Brian's Dune. Sanderson's Wheel of Time. Has there ever been an author besides Guy Kay who hasn't completely fucked up the series he inherited?

*Nye's Myth, but I like that I fucked up that post because, you see, irony is hilarious

Edge Chronicles

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All of those things are wrong.

He got whipped for being a sarcastic cunt on first day of university.
Felurian let him go because he told her that he was a virgin before her and couldn't tell if she was great at sex or mediocre. (Still my least favourite section of the series aside from his visit to the cthaeh)
He didnt even come close to "mastering" their 'martial arts'. Dude got dunked on at the first stone, he's barely as good as Tempi who is considered a mediocre fighter by their standards.

It probably would? I guess I can't say. Erikson is the most gifted writer in the genre by a long shot, so anything less in that setting is just... Weird. Just read release order, skip esslemont. There's three major groups of characters in the series, and each book follows a different group, and they all come together at the end. It's a little jarring going in if you don't realize that

The idea was to let the Syndic die while appearing to still be trying to uphold their contract, and yes some of the writing is done very crudely as the conceit of the book is that it is being written by a random guy in the company with his own viewpoint, biases, and writing skill. I'm not surprised that someone who doesn't like Black Company does so on such brainlet grounds, I can respect not enjoying the results, but not even getting the underlying reasons why these simple plot points or stylistic choices were made is just sad.

lol

Just have elves build it. Though they didnt give more than a few fucks about middle earth at that point..

God I hate zoomers

Not him but Gene Wolfe is famous for writing unreliable narrators. In Book of the New Sun the protag Severian is a psychopath with near perfect memory and the reader has to carefully pick apart what he says to get a rough sketch of what really happened. Wolfe is to Rothfuss as Tolkien is to Martin

is Brunner the Bounty Hunter any good?

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Bilbo should have shoved the ring in his ass. I mean, would the Nazcucks search there?

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"I'm a bad writer in character" is a shit excuse and you know it. The fact that it's written from the perspective of a single character doesn't even begin to explain away all of the awful writing, and even if you were brainlet enough to accept that poor excuse, an excuse literally no other writer has ever had to use to explain their bad writing, it doesn't explain away all of the other faults, the poor characterization
>Hey guys my name is THE CAPTAIN and I'm THE CAPTAIN, that's who I am, THE CAPTAIN
The complete lack of reaction some characters have to events
>My blood brother just fucking died and now I'm being forced to stay in this company against my will? Lol who cares, I'll forget entirely after this scene and serve the company until my literal dying breath
Fuck, there's just no way to explain this other than Glen Cook being a shit writer, I'm actually pissed because I want dark fantasy but there's so often just hack writers like Cook who get popular in the genre because there's not many other writers willing to take an approach that isn't high fantasy

>start Gardens of the Moon
>several characters are not human but part of a race original to this world of fiction
>make no description of how these races look like or how they're different to humans
>Erikson keeps narrating as if the reader already knows what the fuck you're talking about
>a dude who is described as being black turns out to be some kind of demigod from an inmortal race that have literal black skin
>keeps the vague descriptions or get rid of them completely for the rest of the novel
>gets praised for the worldbuilding because "lmao dude you just have to read the other 178 books to understand the first one"

>I don't like it so it's bad objectively
I'm so sorry, but you are wrong.

The characterization of people in the book is fine, and depends on the chronicler's perspective, the captain is Ann inaccessible character as his authority and position tend to remove him from casual friendly conversations with the rest of the character, that's why he simply inhabits the simple characature of "captain", as for one eye reacting to tom Tom, I don't remember that part so I won't comment, but since you're wrong about everything else via fundamental misunderstanding I wouldn't be surprised if you're misunderstanding that as well.

>I don't remember, but you're wrong.
Okay.
Well surely this means the captain is succeeded by someone more relatable on his death, right?

>The captain (Known by no other name)
>A man who is described as a brilliant tactician, with absolutely zero personality traits whatsoever
>Dies
>He is succeeded by..
>The lieutenant (Known by no other name)
>A man who is described as a brilliant tactician, with absolutely zero personality traits whatsoever
You can't make this shit up. It's indefensibly bad.
If you can't even remember how One-Eye completely forgets his brothers death, then I think you're looking back at this with rose-tinted shades, go and reread it and then tell me I'm wrong.

The Bible

This. Erikson gets praise but I have no clue why. Reading Gardens of the Moon made me feel like I was having an aneurism

1. You're using their names as if that's the only characterization they are given, it isn't
2. The lieutenant is walled off by the same authority and seniority as the captain was, croaker was inducted well after either of them entered their position and to him and many of their companions these two are their positions

>if you can't even remember derp herp
It's a bit unreasonable to expect someone to remember every plot point and every bit of characterization or progression of some series of books they haven't read in a few years, nonetheless I didn't read this when I was 13 and nostalgia has nothing to do with it.

I think you're confusing your opinion of the book (you hated it, fine) with some objective measure of its quality.

Yeah, and if you still want more afterward check out the other Malazan stuff Erikson wrote. I just started Forge of Darkness and its solid.

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The difference in quality between book 1 and books 2 and 3 are nuts. He originally planned GotM as a screenplay and I think a lot of that slipped into the book itself. There was a few years between releases and you really see how the world starts to grow out in a way that is satisfying to figure out. Everything with the Chain of Dogs in book 2 is fantasy kino.

But yes it does make you feel like a retard sometimes until you figure out what is happening in the dialogue.

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It's a relief knowing I'm not retarded. Or at least not that retarded. I'll give Malaz another chance.

Why didn't Christopher like Peter's work?

>>>all races stay separate and this is how they like it
>Literally the only race that stays separate are the Elves. Dwarfs trade with Dale all the time. Hobbits live next to humans in Bree Land.

Then why did Frodo and company drove them fucking humans out of the Shire when he came back?

Cucked and cringepilled.

>“They eviscerated the book by making it an action movie for young people aged 15 to 25,” Christopher said of “The Lord Of The Rings,” revealing he turned down an invitation to meet Jackson. “And it seems that ‘The Hobbit’ will be the same kind of film.” And while most families of authors would be thrilled to be associated with a billion dollar franchise (even if, in this case, they only get a small portion of that coin), as Christopher’s son notes, that’s not the case here.

>“Normally, the executors of the estate want to promote a work as much as they can,” Adam Tolkien said. “But we are just the opposite. We want to put the spotlight on that which is not ‘Lord of the Rings.’ “

>As for Christopher, he offers a bleak assessment on the legacy of his father and his work, which is now part of a movie machine that won’t be going away any time soon. “Tolkien has become a monster, devoured by his own popularity and absorbed into the absurdity of our time,” he pondered. “The chasm between the beauty and seriousness of the work, and what it has become, has overwhelmed me. The commercialization has reduced the aesthetic and philosophical impact of the creation to nothing. There is only one solution for me: to turn my head away.”

So is LOTR some kind of extremely deep philosophical treaty meant for people over 60 years old to read?

that's not what christopher says at all
LOTR certainly isn't an action book. When he mentions "philosophical", note that the word he uses after is "impact". He's not implying LOTR is some kind of philosophical thesis, he's saying it had an impact on the way fantasy was written and thought of.
I wonder if you are illiterate.

>bastard MC literally wargs into his wolf companion to escape death
>down to earth noble house with dark hair competing with back stabbing yellow haired fuckers
grrm is a hack

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It had some philosophy in it. Mostly christian philosophy about mercy. Frodo laments that Bilbo didn't kill Gollum, but Gandalf notes that Bilbo's mercy may yet be a definitive event in the fate of all things. Had Bilbo not spared Gollum he would not have bitten off corrupted Frodo's finger and fallen into mount doom. Frodo of his own power was unable to fulfill his quest.

Of course, but how was any of that that cut off in the films?

Legolas skiing down an elephant trunk while 360 noscoping orcs

this, it's absolutely superior to all other tolkien books. it starts off slow but once it gets going, it's epic. in the same way LOTR tried to be, but I haven't read many books that leave you feeling that you've read something absolutely great.

then if you want to jump to hard sci-fi, read the quantum thief, and the following books in the trilogy

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lets see your movie?

not really a hot take since most people agree

How did people in old times know where to park the trebuchets? Did the operators have to be really good at math or have good depth perception to eyeball the trajectory?

I gotta say that the stories of Beren, Túrin and Tuor - to a lesser degree Earendil also - are way better than the lord of the rings.

It's an interesting contrast too, the humans in the Silmarillion all have their nice, compact stories that are pretty epic, but short. The elven stories go for many chapters but have few things happen, except when shit really hits the fan and they go saiyan for a second, usually before dying horribly.

The Wheel of Time is pretty comfy, only in book 2 so far myself.

Why dident they give him the ring?

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what does sauron look like under the armor?

I always found the Dresden Files to be reliably good. They're not the height of the art, but they've very entertaining; they've been extremely successful for a good reason.

Seconding , most of Raymond E. Feist's work is gold. I think someone else mentioned Terry Pratchett - if you haven't read him then I would strongly recommend you start immediately.

I've read so much fantasy at this point it all sort of blurs together, but off the top of my head David Gemmel is another name that comes to mind. If you like your fantasy really, really low (almost no magic at all) then Joe Abercrombie has written some books where a lot of people get stabbed, shot, and beaten to death, and also some plot happens.

Try China Mievelle if you're looking for something a little different. Be warned, he's a pretentious socialist, but at least he has some original ideas.

has half of a good point - there are so many different authors who've written for Games Workshop it's a crapshoot whether you get good, medium, or low quality. Gotrek and Felix are the staple of Warhammer Fantasy, but in my view the Vampire Genevieve series probably represents the best Warhammer Fantasy can offer (you shouldn't dismiss 40k out of hand either - the Gaunt's Ghosts series is really good)

ehhhhhhh... I mean, it's okay. Good, even. But it's not the best.

Even though I love the movies, I do actually kind of understand where he's coming from. Peter Jackson's trilogy might have done a wonderful job adapting the story and world of Tolkien, content wise they are a very different beast from the incredibly romanticist books. Much more in line with D&D than Tolkien's original vision.

At the same time though, I don't think it's a problem. Romanticism as a philosophical movement died for a very good reason. Which is that it's complete garbage. Downplaying that aspect of the book in favour of the stuff that people more commonly associated with fantasy was a good decision. Both artistically and financially.

Warhammer fantasy is generic and shit
>elves, dwarves and wizards like every fantasy ever made ever
>also rats
>chaos is boring, because unlike in 40k where the existence of this horrifying 'magic' is crucial to the setting, in fantasy, magic is a normal fantasy thing, and chaos is basically just generic dark magic

He'd lose it.

Math; it's not really that complicated to work out from previous tests how far a certain trebuchet can fling a projectile of a certain weight. If they weren't on target then I assume they could just change the weight of the counterweight.

>Dwarfs are incredibly lawful stupid and obsessed with grudges.
>Wood elves are borderline fair folk esque creeps.
>Lizardmen and Tomb Kings are different from the usual tolkien fantasy tropes.
>Orcs are football hooligans.
Warhammer Fantasy is plenty original. Silly, but original.

Better than Yea Forums and /sffg/ bravo lads

Warhammer fantasy isn't always silly. It varies wildly from surprisingly serious to basically a cartoon

Jesus not him but your excuses are pathetic

kys

What a pitiful retort

Why didn't Elrond just craft a bucket to take some of the Mt Doom lava back to Rivendale?

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Why didn't Gandalf merely open a Gateway to pour lava over the Ring?

Why didn't Gandalf just go back in time and kill Sauron?

Why didn't Gandalf just make a ring to rule Sauron's ring?

Why didn’t Gandalf just trade the ring to Sauron in exchange for not attacking middle earth?

Why didn't Gandalf simply eat the Ring? Surely the gastric acid of Istari burns hotter than mount doom

Why didn't Gandalf lick the ring? There's no way Sauron would want it with someone else's spit on it.

Did Bilbo know about the bonus situation

Why didn't the Ringbearers just divorce Sauron and take half his power?

There was actually a lot more going on than was shown in the books.
Dwarves and Elf's both pulled their weight

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Why didn't the Men, Elves, and Sauron all just sit down together and talk it out?

Why didn’t the elves bring everyone into the undying lands? Do elves not like immigrants?

nice simp image

I get what you mean.
Whilst reading it it was a great idea and all but sometimes the execution was lacking and made me want more.
A better writer etc.
Still, I'm glad it was written rather than not.

Why didn't Iluvatar just make everyone Elves?

Why didn’t Ungoliant just share the light from the trees? Wouldn’t that have been the nice thing to do?

>but off the top of my head David Gemmel
I'd forgotten about Gemmel.
If anyone ITT wants a fantasy novel that can just be treated as a standalone because you cbf reading a bajllion word saga, LEGEND is it.

It centers around the build up to a siege of a city and the siege itself.
No drags on, no drawn out extraneous crap, just this one event and everyone involved. The desperate defenders fighting off fantasy mongol hoards have to enlist the help of a grizzled old veteran hero for "one last job" sorta deal, as far as I can remember it anyway.

It's enjoyable enough. It's not complex like Erikson's tapestry, but it's not babytier basic shit either.
It's a weekend read as it were.

At that point in time like a burnt black man.

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I went back to those as an adult, I can't recommend it. I gave up within the first chapter, and I started with Martin the Warrior, which was my favorite (and as far as I recall it avoided most of the big sources of repetition in the series)

Why doesn't light itself just go away and allow darkness to rule?

I see already recommended your biography

I loved the first book but couldn't hack any of the sequels.

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Hope you're right. I've only read the first and it's kind of underwhelming so I put off reading the rest.

Anything a that doesnt follow the basic tropes of fantasy literature? I enjoyed the black company books till they got to not India. After that they were pretty mediocre. Just want some unique ideas without YA shit.

>Book of the New Sun
Have to check that out at some point.

No idea what that board is like anymore. Can only imagine it's gotten worse. At least this place is still fun once in a while though with the amount of deleted posts itt who can say?

Why didnt they just have gay anal sex so hot it would be similar to the fires at mount doom.

Well maybe because being gollum for the sake of owning something isnt worth it you greedy jew

Thats hard question with no real anwser. Either could win depending on what the author decides to do with the story

Earthsea books by Leguin.
It's not the typical medieval europe thing as the authors family background in anthropology made them specifically not want european style fantasy stuff. I can only image their rage when the first editon covers came out. They made a TV show too that was most likely shit. It still is european, in essence, as it was written by one but it's not along the same vein as a lot of typical fantasy with knights and castles and shit.
The second book is particularly weird.
A wizard of earthsea is the start.

>guy raises a point
>I don't remember but my opinions are more valid
>guy suggests you reread them
>palm him off and imply that your interpretation is objective

Yeah buddy I'm more inclined to listen to the other guy because you seem like a prick.

youtube.com/watch?v=sKoODB6acAE

Because they were invading, killing and imprisoning hobbits in cells that made the Hanoi hotel look good. How the fuck can you know about that event but not the causes? Jesus Christ.

The first law trilogy and the following books are based as fuck. There's a new trilogy coming out with the first releasing next month.

I can't believe no one mentioned it, it's edgy as fuck at times but I enjoy how pulpy it is.

Abercrombie > George "fat Hack" Martin

Thinks saurons only servants are rings wraiths. Its stated very plainly in the books why they took the path they did and not another one. Its in the first book when they get to rivendale and are trying to plan what to do next.

In place of a dark lord you would have a weirdo dancing lord who talks to trees. Not dark, but freaky.

youtube.com/watch?v=ZZouiWmzWoY
You can DANCE!

To OP would no scope sauron and teabag his corpse

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How many rings must they destroy?

may the seven holies protect you