Oi mate give us the ball

>oi mate give us the ball
what the fuck do you do

Attached: social.jpg (1200x630, 207.83K)

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=RgaIw829Yxk
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

Shoot them in self-defense.

kick the ball back you fucking queer

Toe punt it straight at them

*pretend to like you didn't noticed and walk away as they jeer*

you would suck a cock of you were told so, wouldn't you? you like being bossed about, isn't that so?

Curl it into the goal like van Hooijdonk

Did this once after it had been raining, was wearing a pair of New Balance skate shoes so the soles weren't very traction-able on the damp grass. Slid forward on my standing leg as I went to hit the ball and the movement meant my leg bent the wrong way at the knee. Went down like a sack of spuds in absolute agony and was limping for weeks thereafter. The kids I kicked the ball to just laughed. I would have desu.

i just typed this but i sound like an esl for some reason in my head this sounded fine do i have a mental issue?

I'd laugh and say "Want the ball? Come take it" with a smirk, then start dribbling towards them and dribble through them with skills moves breaking ankles as I went

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my words. You think you can get away with saying shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your tongue. You didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo."

Show them my female tits and let myself be gang raped

Stamp on them, they're like an inch tall

*samba music plays*

A LITTLE LESS CONVERSATION, A LITTLE MORE ACTION PLEASE

If you want him..
*slams wizard staff on the turf*
come and claim him!

Throw it back with my hands because I played GK :)

>what the fuck do you do

nothing, stand idly and smile as they are not permitted to leave their covid concentration camp

Pull out my pocket knife and deflate it.

>Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

>Playing football nowadays is accompanied by reprehensible things which mean that playing it should be disallowed. These things may be summed up as follows:

>1 – It is proven to us that play continues during the times of prayer, which results in the players and spectators missing prayers or prayers in congregation, or they delay performing prayers until the time for them is over. Undoubtedly any action that interferes with performance of prayers on time or leads to missing prayers in congregation with no valid shar’i excuse is haraam.

>2 – The nature of this game leads to factionalism, stirring up fitnah and hatred. These results are the opposite of what Islam promotes of tolerance, friendship and brotherhood, and cleaning hearts and souls of hatred, resentment and grudges.

>3 – The game involves physical danger for the players as a result of collisions and injuries. Usually the players do not end the game without some of them falling on the pitch unconscious or with broken arms or legs. Nothing is more indicative of that than the fact that there must always be an ambulance present throughout the game.

>4 – The purpose behind allowing sports is to make people become physically active and to train them for fighting and to ward off chronic disease. But playing football nowadays has no such aim. As well as the things mentioned above, it is now also taking people’s money for false purposes, let alone the danger of physical injury and the generation of hatred in the hearts of players and spectators, and the stirring up of fitnah. It has even gone so far that some spectators attack some players, which could go as far as murder, as happened in a match a few months ago. This alone is sufficient reason to disallow it. And Allaah is the source of strength.

punt the ball as high in the air as i can

Kick the ball as hard as I can but in the opposite direction from them

Pick it up and leg it, try and get a chase

Attached: 1618356117771.jpg (859x1200, 113.29K)

I'd throw them a baseball and say, try playing a sport for grown ass men, ya fairies.

Attached: 1650941960881.jpg (1213x720, 151.61K)

Based Bong

Attached: MPfoot.gif (400x300, 1.26M)

*suddenly the local boys turn into late 90's early 2000's players as the park warps into a gigantic stadium.*

>How's aboot you pleh a game for real men, ya faeries?

the boys laugh because you're a leaf.

based and truthpilled

Attached: that-anglosphere-feel-c-24571365.png (500x300, 78.54K)

i would pull down my pants to expose my genitals. nobody wants to fuck with some dude with his ding dong and nards out

Ngmi, it is probably deflated ball filled with rocks.

Its MY ball now.

>i am deeply ashamed that i actually stole a kids football before. In my defence i was a complete scumbag at the time.

That's not a defence.

this would never even occur to me
but then again I didn't grow up in a warzone where this kind of behaviour passes as entertainment

I was a complete cunt. Me and my friends would smoke weed and blow it in peoples faces in the bus. We'd steal peoples hats, and if they fought back we'd physically push them off the bus. I lied to every single gf i ever had. I treated no one with respect and everyone with contempt.

But i never really meant it deep down. I was just young and lost.

hope you get hit by a bus or something and nobody comes to your funeral lol

Not really, i cleaned my act up, got my own apartment and career. I did alright for a complete scally.

I used to fight, a lot. I never looked for it, but violence was a tool in my arsenal. I learnt how to fight the hard way, i had my nose broken 6 times before i learnt how to duck and then break theirs. Every single person that came into my life ended up worse off after meeting me. I felt nothing using others. My own mom disowned me.

There are people that exist in this world that want me legit dead and are out to destroy me as we speak. I just keep a low profile now, focus on being normal

>not really
Not really what? Are you fucking illiterate? I personally hope you fucking die early. "not really" isn't a valid response to that, you fucking retard.

>I personally hope you fucking die early

Madness.

You've earned it.

I wasnt born with a silver spoon in my mouth, im the product of society

Yes mate, them old women using the public transport that you blew smoke in the face of were definitely born with silver spoons in their mouths.

The fact that you can't even accept responsibility for your own evil deeds is proof you need put down.

>after rounding Fabian Barthez and tucking it away, you trot back to a wheezing Paolo Maldini left lying on the deck, help him up and hand him a pespi
>close up of you taking a long gulp before turning and smiling at the camera
>proud partners of the uefa champions league

Bro are you trying to make me feel bad? Wtf. I had a bad childhood. Im the real victim

Why, embarrass myself, of course

>I come from Brazil mate, you think I've came all the way to England to be dogged by someone that grew up with a father

Rio is less violent than London

kek, we did this to a kid once. it was funny, but I felt kinda guilty afterwards

Stand my ground and pop off a few warning shots

KINO

>when you project
ten quid says you killed a small animal as a teenager and have hated yourself for it ever since

youtube.com/watch?v=RgaIw829Yxk

that doesn't sound right m8

i've seen city of god, i would know

Attached: dfgdfgdfgdfg.png (835x819, 871.52K)

*Norwich goals*

Its true, london is more violent, more expensive, poorer, the women are uglier, the men are fatter, and its more corrupt

fuck me, trips, may as well try it on again, Noriwch to be promoted again next season

Norwich *

Facts, the guy has some skeletons

>the women are uglier, the men are fatter, and its more corrupt

True, london is a pit

Benny Hill chase

>try to kick it back
>totally misdirect the kick
>they audibly groan
>look at the ground and walk away quickly

the correct answer is kick it back with a simple side foot and with a bittersweet smile think about these carefree days of playing in the summer sun with mates you haven't seen in well over a decade now and your biggest worry in life was making it back home for Raven after school ended

t. confessions of lads who terrorised old women and apparently also murdered small animals
you need put down

Where are you getting your information from? You just started randomly talking about "terrorising old women", wheres that come from?

The lad who openly confessed to harrassing people on buses because he's a psychopath and needs put down.