HOWEVER

Comfy Harry potter thread

Which is the best and worst in the series?

Post all kind of plot holes like ''Why didn't x just Y?'' ect

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these movies are shit but they are comfy to watch
mainly 1 and 2, they get progressively worse

All of them are shit

best one is 4 followed by 1
why didnt harry just use magic to fix his eyesight instead of wearing glasses?

That's true, I wouldn't call the rest bad necessarily, it's just the first two have so much more spirit

Who was too busy using his mana to magick away his poop

The Best is nothing.
The worst is everything.
Harry Potter is terrible.

He*
gee wiz

Imagine the foaming-at-the-mouth mental idiocy required to even consider debating which of these "movies" is the best "movie" of one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

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>1, 2
Comfy
>3
Decent, good intro to the darker themes
>4
Fever dream tier, best meme potential though
>5
Grimdark, loses the whimsy of the first four
>6, 7
Grimdark soap operas

Why didn't Voldemort just throw one of the horcruxes in the Mariana Trench?

>Post all kind of plot holes
In Half Blood Prince Trelawney tells Harry that she remembers Snape interrupting her job interview where she gave the prophecy about Harry being the one to eventually defeat Voldemort, however seers aren't aware of what's happening when they give a prophecy and don't remember it, but Snape only knew half the prophecy.

The most likely explanation for it is Dumbledore is fucking evil: Snape heard the whole prophecy but Dumbledore removed the second half from his memory and sent him on his way to pass it on to Voldemort so he would go after the kid and trigger the prophecy.

bump

How did Molly Weasley get away with using a spell that turned someone into bubbles? It's far worse than the killing curse. She should be investigated for murder.

I want to remake this series even though I've got zero emotional investment in it and barely know the lore beyond "it's basically shit".

the whole problem is that it's just full of bad worldbuilding and bad ideas/designs.

for instance wizards shouldn't be as immortal or whatever as they're made to appear in the books and film, they should be killed in airplane-strikes and frankly get shot a lot more.

I know brits are so stuffy about people being shot but goddamn it have some respect for america and reality.

>WAVE OF MUTILATION
>WAVE OF MUTILATION
>WAVE OF MUTILATION

Also American Wizards should've been shown to prefer flying bikes to broomsticks.

I would join house slytherin only for her

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>umm why don't muggles just attack the people they don't know about who live in places that can't be found

IDK, just show that it's possible/can happen.

like a wizard flying during the day getting confused for a duck and being shot out of the sky.

Sneedos chuckus

>The Obliviate/Imperious Cure Rape Hypothesis

Pair that with an invisibility cloak or spell and all of a sudden Hogwarts becomes an incredibly sexually violent place considering adolescent hormones.

>The Polyjuice Potion Problem.

Literally a girls strand of hair and you can be her naked for hours and take pictures or do whatever.

>The Love Potion

Is it consensual? How do you prove it was a love potion? Couldn't any women claim it after a relationship or night gone sour? It would be #metoo on steroids.

I honestly want to see a Harry Potter-world set in America during the 1970's or 1980's having utterly nothing to do with Voldemort or whatever (because literally who gives a fuck)

Posting this copy pasta (I hope it’s pasta) with that wildly incorrect image makes you appear far more pathetic than the massively successful young adult franchise you are poorly attempting to criticize

>God damn it Britain, be more like America. So disrespectful
Retard

A darker remake of the series would be kino

There they are not afriad using violence.

>Magical creatures ripping wizards apart
>student accidentally cast a spell that turned someone inside out

lurk more newfriend.

how do millennial (and for that matter even like 1990's or 1980's) teenagers not whine and shit about being unable to listen to their favorite bands and musicians or keep up with TV shows, etc..

they've got all that magic crap but they can't even indulge in listening to a mixtape.

I'd ask it to be more about "showing violence" than "being violent".

quit just showing wizards getting tossed around, and then being fine, they shouldn't have "passive/reflexive magic" that protects them from injury, they're as fragile as everyone else, they should have concussions and broken bones, "healing magic" should work but also be more like real medicine in that it's not an "instant fix" type thing

>ywn have a pocket dimension in a backpack you can escape to
Newts suitcase was great

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based
Pansy best girl

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Wrong

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You're not wrong but I was talking about the movies

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Wizards are hardly even aware that the London Underground is a thing and even those that are aware of it cannot fathom how it was possible without magic. I doubt their spells and charms and shit would prevent something like thermal imaging or something of that sort. Wizards are borderline retarded compared to even a muggle child.

I agree, Link is def the best girl

is that gilly?

but that's Zelda

>Yes, yes, well done, Slytherin. Well done, Slytherin. HOWEVER, I would appreciate it if you tone down the ruthless bullying of other houses. You Slytherins have been very cruel to Ronald Weasley in particular for casting a spell with a broken wand that caused him to vomit slugs. Why, that's not so awful, children. Some people wouldn't laugh at Ron at all for vomiting a considerable quantity of slimy gastropods. Indeed, someone would even call it... titillating. I certainly would. I once cast a spell that had the slimy little chaps spilling out of Lily Potter's tight, sweet snatch.
>Dumbledore fixes his gaze on Harry
>My tastes are very specific, Harry. She didn't like it and kept shouting this muggle phrase... reep, raep. Something like that. So she threatened to bring me before the Wizengamot if I didn't subsidise her and your father's lavish lifestyle; MY money which you have now inherited and now lays in Gringotts. I never quite got over that, Harry, hence why I strangle lady-boys in Bangkok on the sly in order to blow off steam. She was a good friend.
>...
>Anyhow, FUCK SLYTHERIN. GRYFFINDOR WINS!

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Harry and Hagrid go on the underground in the first book, and Hagrid is literally retarded.

Satellite imaging has existed for decades and nobody has noticed a massive wizard village in central London, tech obviously doesn't help.

What if it does reveal all the wizard shit but the Government just keeps in under wraps? I mean the series is retarded in this manner...it tries to have the idea that Muggles are all oblivious halfwits that simply don't notice all the magic shit but at the same time they still exist in a world where shit like the moon landing happened. There would logically be an entire conspiracy theory around wizards and shit existing which the Government would need to control.

I mean, how can Wizards create a charm to guard against something they don't even know exists?

>I mean, how can Wizards create a charm to guard against something they don't even know exists?
Magic. Why would they have to adapt their 'keep this shit hidden yo' spells just because some idiot invented a fancy mirror to look at stuff with?

Goblet of Fire is peak Potterkino

So fucking new

that's not how you spell Prisoner of Azkaban

Well because magic isn't some kind of catch-all guard against things. Spells in Harry Potter are created by people so logically it would mean that the person can only create a spell to counter or produce something that the creator knows exists. A person couldn't create a fire spell if he had no idea fire existed.

what if an american "squib" burst out during the death-eaters ambush of the hogwarts express and started mowing them down with a thompson 1928 submachinegun with a drum-magazine.

and what if that american squib then started to scalp and carve swaztika's into the foreheads of the deatheaters corpses?

b-based...

>the students are horrified at amount of blood that's soaking the floor,
>they're deaf from the noise.
>they see mutilated corpses, some of whom are their family members or former schoolmates, missing the tops of their heads and with big sigils carved into their foreheads

It was explained in the series that the Ministry of Magic has ties with the government, whenever a new Prime Minister gets appointed they hold a meeting with the Minister of Magic that reveals to them about the wizarding world and shit, they meet and consult each other on matters that affect both worlds like the return of Voldemort

>casually toss the corpses off the train explaining that they lost any right to humanity when they became death-eaters.

>they're shocked mostly because you're not dismembering them with magic, for once their own mortality is staring them in the face.

>order the Phoenix except using Inglorious Bastards-tactics instead of pussy "friendship" shit.

>pussy "friendship" shit
t. has no friends

If you want more violent magic look no further.

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The 80s is literally when the Voldemort shit happens faggot

Harry, did I ever tell you about my secret brother Aurelius? He was traveling across the Atlantic Ocean as a baby when he was accidentally kidnapped by the unloved daughter of a French rapist wizard, who switched him with her father's real son, gave him to a French half-elf, and let her real brother die in the shipwreck. Speaking of which, the mother of the accidentally kidnapped son dove into the water to rescue her (supposed) son and drowned, so I guess that would mean she was also my mother, but for some reason I never mentioned this either. Also I don't know why the wizards didn't just apparate off of the sinking ship. Anyway, the aforementioned French half-elf gave my brother (thinking it was the rapist's son--she was the servant of the raped woman, which meant she also had to serve the rapist after the woman died in childbirth) to an orphanage that hates wizards, then both she and the daughter went back to Paris. She did this on orders from the father, who wanted to protect his (supposed) son from the older, adult non-rape son of the raped woman who gave birth to the real son's half-sister, who incidentally I trained in wizardry in the 1910s with the help Professor McGonagell, twenty years before Professor McGonagell was even born. The non-rape son wanted revenge for his mother being raped, so completely logically, he tried to kill the baby instead of the father, and even though the rapist father was a powerful wizard nobleman, he thought the best thing for his beloved son was to be sent to America and protected in absolutely no way whatsoever or even informed that he was a wizard, leading half of New York to be blown up right in front of all the muggles (called "nomajs" in America). Eventually the non-rapist son tracked down Aurelius (thinking it was the rape son) in Paris, where we all learned that he (that meaning Aurelius) had started a relationship with an Vietnamese woman who would later turn into Voldemort's pet snake.

He was a good friend.

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so how does that effect wizarding america at all?

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