"Hey Howard, yeah, listen man....I can't come in again....Still feeling off, especially after last night...

Hey Gar, it's Artie *COUGH*, eh, I've got flu like symptoms and won't be able to make it in today *COUGH*.

>artie was so proud during the howard years,
Artie barely cared about his Howard years. Within a few years of being on he wanted to take off work for a few weeks and make a movie. Howard allowed it, but he never allowed anyone else to take off for that much time.
And Artie always let it be known that to him the Howard Stern Show was just a way for him to make $50,000 a night doing standup on the road.

bloatmax god. those niggerball thots better run and grab a platter of western bacon cheeseburgers or they're next on the menu

It's too late, user.

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I don't feel even the slightest bit sorry for him. He's got WAY more resources at his disposal to kick it than your average person, but it's clear that he just doesn't want to. The hell that he's put his mother and sister through alone should be enough to motivate him, let alone how much he's torpedoed his own life.

>Almost pissed away his opportunity on MadTV by trying to kill himself.
>They let him come back.
>He pisses it away shortly afterward in a police chase, and they fire his ass.
>Norm bails his ass out.
>That leads into him basically getting handed the third chair on Stern (a fucking dream job).
>Howard practically lets him get away with murder on that show, and he still shits all over it.
>Spends a year putting his mother through hell, living at her house.
>Nick Di Paolo bails him out this time, giving him another shot at radio.
>He pisses all over that.
>Ant bails him out, giving him yet another opportunity.
>He pisses all over that.
>His lawyer is doing everything they can to keep him out of jail, but he keeps fucking up

That's also ignoring all the people who have gone out of their way to try and help him kick his drug addiction. There comes a time where you have to just let a guy jump off the cliff.

he looks satisfied with life

It's funny going back and listening to him on Stern now. "Pumping gas" was his shorthand for being a loser, now look at him.

Which gas station? Going to tell him I know a FAT GIRL who wants to fuck him because he looks like her boyfriend. Thinks he's better than people who work at gas stations. #TeamPelican #DancingWithEllen #RedHairedCunt

We're all gonna make it...somehow..

youtube.com/watch?v=oAQ3B8ZgICg

AYE FUCK YOU ARTIE, YOU FAT FUCK.

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The funny thing is that despite the deflated nose, Artie probably looks better than he has in years.

>That time Beet and Artie got in a "fight", and Beet thought Artie was Jackie

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Jackie, you jew fuck

this

Why is that?

Breaks my heart. I considered him as one of the greatest comedians for a time. Hope he's sticking with whatever programs and that he can actually reform himself.

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What jumps out at me are the haircut, he's got some color (maybe just from having to be out in the sun all day), and he's lost some weight.

mootzerella

wtf happened to his nose ? melted by cocaine?
>snorts a line
>nose melts
>holy shit guys i took one too many lines

Decades of snorting more coke and heroin than your average person has access to dissolved the cartilage in his nose. A plastic surgeon has even offered to fix it pro bono if he'd promise to stay off the shit.

>oy vey
What did he mean by this?

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That nose in profile is really disturbing, still.

Just take off the wig, Howard. You're not fooling anyone.

Why doesn't he surgically fix his nose?

he can keep snorting shit with a busted nose and no one the wiser

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I feel so bad for this guy.

it's not about fooling anyone on air, it's about not being recognized when you're out (when he's not wearing that... thing)

>revealing his location
he's gonna get swarmed by his old stomping ground NJ friends throwing baggies at him

What exactly does a man do at this point? He obviously hasn't given up. Is he some type of beacon of hope?

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Isn't he like a millionaire that does drugs and bangs hot babes all day long?

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That should go back to his MadTV/Dirty Work/early Stern days, makes his transformation even more depressing.

great fucking attitude. sincerely hope he makes it.

He's gone through this routine maybe 20 times by now

I've been asking myself the same question? you want to live one day and the next day you want to die and pound a bottle of evan williams and puke next to your bed. Some people can't handle life.

What is going on his nose? Is he doing this shit on purpose for comedy?

is artie a jew? no one else would have had that many opportunities for being as untalented as he is

THEY WISH

yeah i guess. maybe i'm too naive

he apparently snorted drugs with crushed glass in it at some point

Just once? And can't that be fixed?

He got a shakedown at some point over debt too which may have contributed

>His nose collapsed into what looks like a baby dick on his face

Don't do coke

wdm artie saga, minus wdm's narration, is a great bit of audio

What drug addict has enough left over for cosmetic surgery? Think.

I thought he's a fucking millionaire or something. Fucking Opie and Anthony bought a damn mansion the moment they moved to internet radio. I'm still wondering how these fucks got so rich. Are advertiser money that good?

Kinda jealous desu. Imagine the straight shota roleplay. Just find a good looking pedo woman and you're set.

how the fuck is this thing still alive

>he's a drug addict so he must have tons of money
When someone tells you to think, doubling down on not thinking isn't doing you any favors.

Being a drug addict isn't my point of reference, kind user. He's a long time celebrity on a radio show and these people are often rich by my third world standards.

I hope Dan bilzerian ends up like Artie lange

>Being a drug addict isn't my point of reference
Then you're ignoring very obvious facts. You're ignoring decades of the life of the guy we're talking about. Not often you see someone triple down. For your sake, I'm not going to stick around to see you fuck up a fourth time.

Robert Downey Jr?

most civil thread award

Until this faggot showed up.