Hey Yea Forums you remember you first blowjob?

hey Yea Forums you remember you first blowjob?

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I will never forget. It was at summer camp after he defended me when all the other boys kept calling me gay.

I had a blowjob before my first kiss... Life is fucking weird.

You're a disgrace and deserve INSTANT death.

Yep, it was in the movie theater during one of those awful fucking parody movies when I was 14. She just turned around and pulled it out then started going to town.

How long did it take for the guy to cum

y-yeah... haha.... those were the days haha......

You're an asshole

Greentext right the fuck now and pls be detailed

Ohhhhhhh!

it certainly was a thing that happened to me

Yes. Met a random 20yo guy off grindr and we held hands watching a movie then after a while he started to blow me.

Me too, I dont know about anyone else but I have most definitely had my penis sucked to orgasm by a living human female.

What movie?

Its funny how whenever this gets posted no one talks about sopranos and its just newfag zoomers telling stories about a blowjob.

Nobody wants to hear about your mentally ill adventures. Keep it to yourself, some of us just ate dinner.

Yeah, it sucked

Isnt most people first bj the same as first sex?

A little fat white girl gave me a blowjob in high school. she was a sophomore and I was a senior. I convinced her to do it without dating me first and said that was a hot idea because low self esteem I guess. best part though is that I've had my fair share of bj's in the 7 or 8 years since then and hers is still the best one by far. I've always wanted to find her and ask how she was so good at it being so young. she was incredible, it felt better that fucking pussy

That's because all of Yea Forums is just Zoomer newfag redditors now. Its fucking disgusting.

Summer camp, movie theatres, and fags have been around a while user you don't know they're zoomers.

>how to spot an incel

Heh heh
Didja hear what I said tone?
I told him to have sex

I had sex before my first blowjob :^)

>that
than fucking pussy*

That's hot. Was it just spontaneous? Did you cum?

>bullies leave to go be assholes to someone else
>me and drake lock eyes for a second
>turn face down, stammer thanks
>feel him take my hand in his
>"it's ok, user."
>i look up and he's studying my face
>i get real flushed and try to look away again, but then he steps close
>his lips are on mine, and it's not my first kiss
>but it is my first kiss i enjoy
>instinctively i grab his back and feel the top of his buttocks
>it's muscley and taught and i then feel him press against me as we pull our lips away from each other
>he's staring deep into my eyes and i feel my hand moving on its own down to his butt and i squeeze it
>he pulls my arm and i follow him into a storage shed by the lake
>rope, buoys, life preservers, and drake is taking his shirt off
>i touch his chest and i start getting hard, and i don't even know what i'm doing as i reach down and take out my cock
>he looks at it and bites his lip and looks up at me through dimmed eyelids
>"i want it in my mouth, user"
>"o... ok"
>he bends down and i feel his lips encircle my engorged erection and his tongue licking the inside of my dick hole
>it's like immediate i want to cum but i try to hold it
>he starts moaning happily as he deepthroats me
>i grab the top of his curly hair and cum harder than i think i ever have before or since
>he sucks on it like a caprisun and drinks my seed, his lips and mouth tight around my shaft as i'm pumping into his slutty mouth
>he looks up at me and a dribble of saliva and cum hangs out his lower lip
>i tell him i love you and he just smiles and then at that moment the loudspeaker announced dinner
>we did it a few more times that summer and then i never saw him again

You need to get off that medication, it's messing with your sense of humor.

yea

I won't ever forget the golfcourse

Nice story

The remake of predator. Movie was meh
Yeah and yeah. He swallowed

why yes paulie I do you gave it to me. standing up.

Yeah I remember my first blowjob. I'd been drinking on a empty stomach and had severe whiskey dick. That bitch was sucking on my soft dick like a wet noodle.

just as bad as the 30 year old boomers who larp as characters from the show and use their dialogue in real life

How old were you both?

Faggots should be executed

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This but unironically

What if you never gotten a blowjob before or even had sex or had a girlfriend or receive a kiss from a woman that isn't in your family or sensual hug from a woman and feel her C cups pressing up against you or holding hands with a woman? Haha wouldn't that be weird? Right...?

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kill yourself faggot filth

Can't you just picture the astute mods of Yea Forums sitting around a table, sipping coffee and trying to figure out if this is an on-topic post or not?

I am not gay but he was so nice to me, how else was I supposed to thank him?

I was 17 and it was with a 21 year old drunken chick

>30 year old boomers
stupida fucking nigger

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The OP isn't off topic. It's a meme as old as this board, from one of the best telivision shows ever aired. The only thing off topic is the 30 retards telling stories about blowjobs.

Why do fags ruin everything?

ummm... like 14 and he was 30 something

>implying all the queers talking about getting blown by a dude arent the mods

what is it with zoomers needing to insert their disgusting fucking faggotry in to every thread?

I had my first handjob at 14
Bj at 28, sex at 28.
It was three month ago
Since then 4 different women sucked my dick.
Life is strange

So it is true that gays create other gays through rape and molestation

I'm not a fag just enjoy hard salty penis

you must actually be a boomer if you don't know the 30 year old boomer meme

>fags
should be executed

Let's see, first was in cubs with the horny twink back before either of us knew what we were doing.

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Did you just up and download tinder and start hooking up?

How you getting all them dicksucks?

Don't get mad at us because you've never had ya jimmy jucked boy.

Greentext

>ywn be this triggered

Feels great, not gonna lie

>meme
Memeing queers should be executed

Women can sense if a man is in a relationship or has had sex recently and are instinctively driven to take the man for themselves. It is simple biology.

i've had sex a few times (in the past) but i've never had a blowjob

So incredibly based

You discord trannies make a life out of lying to yourselves

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except that's all in your head retard

Oh boy here we go

>science denier
Read a book sweetie.

You have no clue gay cunt

we had a local street slut when i was a teen. she gave me and my two friends who also lived on the street blowjobs over two weeks one summer. she was like 16 and i was 14. my two friends were only 13

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I saw it too. Jfc

Yeah, theyre pretty open about it now

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yeah of course janny would be quick for this but nowhere to be seen when it's some interracial filth

Unironically true,girls will mob you down after they sense that energy

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>I saw it too
You must be special user.

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What does a blowjob feel like?

>deleted immediately

The jannies really are stalking this thread. Fucking faggots.

Feels like a warm wet dildo in your mouth

cringe

That tranny janny cock sucking piece of faggot shit spends all its time defending discord tranny threads and banning people for saying nigger

No I never got anything of off tinder and I dont like flirting online, i m not autistic.
Actually I didnt fuck when I was 14 because I wasnt in love and she was.
Then this year I had the oppoetunity to fuck this litteral 10/10 21yo but I waited too long because I genuinly liked her.
I sunk into the deepest abyss. Rage was the only thing that got me through it.
I started to chat up every girl I deemed attractive enough. I tought i was pretty determined but I still brushed off the girl who took my virginity on our first date even though she was litteraly dry humping me of off a wall.
After that it was mostly one night stand.
I swore to myself I would never refuse a fuck but I still cant force myszlf to fuck girls I m not attracted too.
Girl three and four were on sequential days. She knew I hooked up with the other girl because I had a mark on my neck. She still wanted to fuck me lol
But honestly I believe it s just the major confidence boost I got.
I wasnt really ashamed of being a virgin but past a certain age I did
I d say confidence
Never refusing any chances to hang out with people in situation that could result to sex
I litteraly went to a prty with one of my m8. He only knew the host. He left at 11 pm and I stayed until 4pm the next day.
I would have never done that b4 but I was determined
I just play the role of the friendly social guy that like women
It might actually be who I really am

heres a good loser story

i was fucking WASTED.

like some 25 year old loser. i went out with my buddy. and i never go out but he pressured me cuz he was like dude you're a loser you need to get out. and i had been eyeballing this big booty chick all day since we were hanging out with her and her friends.

we went out and got wasted, and her friend was like hey she rly likes u you should talk to her so i did that night then we all went back to the one girls apartment. everyone went to bed and this chick was still talking to me so she sat on my lap and i started sucking face but man my dick wasnt moving so i was like dude wtf.lemme suck on her titties (first time i had ever even made out with a chick), didnt really do the trick so then i started finger banging her and still nothing. so i was like whatever maybe if she sucks my dick

then she started sucking my dick, and even tho i was a big virgin loser i have a pretty big dong, but it was like some giant noodle and she was really trying to work on that thing but i couldnt get it up. she was like hey its cool ill be on the other bed come on over when youre ready. so im sitting there in this other room trying to jack it and get hard but i couldnt i was stuck in this drunken nightmare. so i just laid down and fell asleep. woke uyp next morning but she was gone and i enver saw her again.

only upside was i got some confidence since i had finally (sorta) gotten a chick, so then i started just asking some chicks out and literally next month finally had sex with some hot little latina and i had a monster hardon. then i just became a fucking machine after that. it was like a switch turned on and i didnt feel any fear going up to women and they seemed to dig me. 10 years later i have a few kids and a good woman so it worked out. peace.

did not read a single word of those literal novellas

Based

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Yeah sadly, Rabbi Hirschfeld forced my head into his crotch when I was 6.

Ya think he wears a bag?

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