Rey defeats Darth Sidious with the help of Kylo Ren, Kylo dies and is redeemed through his death...

Imagine you’re a Chicago Cubs fan. Every day, you go down to the dugout and add laxative to the team’s water, because your doctor told you that regular bowel movements are good. Because of this, the team has bad and worsening runs during the games and the losses are getting worse every time. One day, the fan sitting behind you stops you from putting laxative in the water. You of course turn around and yell, “Wow, if you don’t want our team to have healthy bowel movements why don’t you just leave??”

Kino coming and going! ONIK KINO!!!

Is she publishing the book to future generations in a distant galaxy? How the fuck does that make sense if it's based on events she recorded?

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>Star Wars EPX
>REY HAS VANISHED
>the New New Republic falls to yet another clone of Sheev’s empire
>the Empire will always survive in some shape or form
>the Jedi failure cycle continues forever
Sheev always wins baby

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Huge mistake not having her and Kylo swap sides, would've been a really interesting twist.

>Imagine you are a Chicago Cubs fan.

Stopped reading right there.

Yuuzahn Vong, my nigga, prove Sheev was right.
If you want to support Sheev,

literally the GoT ending faggot

>a long time ago in a galaxy far far away
THEY LITERALLY LIVE IN THE SAME GALAXY
FUCK YOU JJ
FUCK YOU KATHLEEN
FUCK YOU DISNEY
FUCK

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It'd be kino if it ended with Weird Al doing an expanded "The Saga Begins" that covers all the movies.

youtube.com/watch?v=hEcjgJSqSRU

Idgi, is this a pasta?

This is very informational, but it's all made up, completely uninteresting and unimportant. Do not make room for it in your brain.

>a future group of students reading the book in the far future, starting lines of book "A long time ago in a galaxy far far away"

I promise you it will be a diverse group of mutts and a black child will be reading it.

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Why are the park Reys so much better?

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park shills should be executed

Park Rey looks like a Gibson Girl.

She's a goddess

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How the hell is Park Rey not a movie star or at least a insanely well paid model? That's a beauty you could stare at all day.

Way too good for some shitty min wage park job

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pretty girls are a dime a dozen dumb fuck

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too smug

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This sounds so stupid that I believe it

You can tell how much better Park Rey is? She makes Hapa and Minimum Wage look like dogs (I'd still fuck the shit outta both) and Pure Rey look plain. Park Rey is perfection.

I want park Rey to yell at me for doing something I shouldnt be doing and blow up on me when I tell her to chill the fuck out

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kill yourself reddit nigger

I wish I could fill my airbags with her ass gas and then crash that cocksucker into a tree at 140mph

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What the fuck is wrong with brapcucks

Almost too much so. Like I said, like an old Gibson Girl illustration.

Based airsoft fatty

now that would redeem this shit show and be based and kino

If this is true, I hate jews AND Disney.

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>redeem this shit show
eat a bullet zoomer faggot

>I like muh beans

>THIS is a 10/10 Aryan specimen according to white people

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They also did it in Trainspotting 2

That seriously would be the fucking greatest ending

119656372
you should seriously kill yourself

Maybe if by the ending they can't defeat the empire because its too powerful so their only chance to survive is to migrate to another galaxy far away from the empire and start colonizing it.

oh god, did he really get hit straight in the dick like that?

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Classic

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No you faggots
>Rey has tonuse some experimental hyper jump and is trabsported into another galaxy far into the future
>she crash lands on earth
>George Lucas finds her and nurses her back to health
>he asks where she is from
>”a long time ago in a galaxy far faraway...”

Mail me my Oscar niggers

>rey doesn't have a baby with Kylo
piss off

I think Georgey-boy got enough hate on the internet already.

not going to happen, but damn it if it wouldn't be great.

119657568
>damn it if it wouldn't be great
your ilk should be executed

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boh-ring

run of the mill instagram thot

she's actually boring to look after a couple of days

have sex, both of you, samefagger

>I'd still fuck the shit outta both

yeah, okay incel

Sorry user, but Uncle Mike nailed it, it's gonna be time travel.

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Robert did say he was vicious

Skywalkers
formerly Jedis

You do realize that the producers (and writers) for that garbage are going to make some Star Wars movies now, right?

That would actually be kino. To have the entire Star Wars saga to actually be a retelling of Rey's book. Would explain why Rey is a Mary Sue, she LITERALLY wrote about herself and thus covered up all her faults and made herself seem more important in Ep7-9. This is gonna be some kino meta shit.

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>in a galaxy far far away

I wasn't planning on watching this garbage,
but now i want to go to the theater, sneak in some tomatoes and throw them at the screen at the end of the moive/after "the big reveal"

fucking faggots like you are part of the problem

fucking based

Why don't they give Rey a lightsaber pike?

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I would pick any other these grills over Daisy Ridley

I'd eat the corn out of park rey's shit

My expectation for that movie is below zero.
I'll just go home afterwards and watch Episode III again.

This faggot is going to pay for nu wars

NNNNOOOOOOooooOOOO YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO LEAK IT JJ FUCK YOOUUUU

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>Episode 2 present us how books looks like in star wars (all are just holographic records)
>Disney give us their abomination Episode 8 with just normal """talmudic"""" books... Cheap fucks.

That would be funny because that would mean Episode 9 reminds the audience of their anger toward season 8 of GoT.

Yeah, like I care. My local cinema has to stay alive somehow.

Would be okay for some other movie, otherwise a piss-poor finish to this dumb trilogy

Yeah you only care about fucking trannies you fucking zoomer piece of shit

>>Disney give us their abomination Episode 8 with just normal """talmudic"""" books... Cheap fucks
Utterly fucking retarded, anyone who supports nu wars should be executed

>Would be okay for some other movie
What other movie faggot?

Nah, I'm not what you'd call a Zoomer. At least how I understand it. It's just an excuse for a night out with my friends. Also I get to rant about it afterwards.

Wrong
R2d2 defeats the emperor by hyperspace ramming the planet in half
Rey, Finn, and Poe have sex for two and a half hours

Sounds like the most generic plot they couldve possibly come up with.

>Rey wrote Star Wars
Jesus fucking christ.

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>hyperspace ramming
I want off this ride!

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I would watch a movie about her experiences at Disneyland. Midway through the movie she would be taken hostage after a work by a crazy fan and eventually discover she is force sensitive (because it is a dream, she's dead at that point) and would become the main attraction, slowly working her way up the disney corporate hierarchy only to face the sith lord iger at the end

An Adam Sandler film

>starting lines of book "A long time ago in a galaxy far far away
That makes no sense. Rey isn't living in another galaxy.

Hopefully you get cancer before it comes out.

her profile is got tier. Frontal is a bit averge

All episode IX larps and fanfic posted on here are gay.

Moving on: is there an official timeline for these movies? TFA and TLJ 100% take place within a week right? It makes zero sense why all these characters care about each other so much. Leia was snubbing chewie to hug rey after knowing her for half an hour. Finn spent 20 minutes with Poe and now they're bffs. Rey knew Luke Luke for less than 48 hours and hasn't even had an actual conversation with Kylo Ren but they're deeply connected because...why?

These characters are all weird and creepy.

That would've been kino

>within a week
A few seconds.

>. Leia was snubbing chewie to hug rey after knowing her for half an hour.
they never even met before the hug

>based self-unaware retard

We will mail you your participation trophy tommow, sit down jimmy.

>with the help of Kylo Ren
>maRey sue needing help.

She's going to bitchslap the Emperor with his own force lightning then destroy the super duper ultra Death Star by smashing it with a black hole she force grabs and drags across the galaxy, all while dragging an unconscious Lando and Kylo back to the Millennium Falcon she inherited for knowing Han/Leia for all of two hours.

You're right, Rey just steps off the ship and Leia brushes right by Chewie and hugs a complete stranger. It's even creepier than I remember.

>Skywalker’s bloodline is ended
Fuck Kathleen Kennedy and fuck Disney

Then pay for another film and walk into SW you goddamn monkey brained retard!
Don’t give Disney your shekels!

well it would explain why she's a marie sue in the story

>post credit scene : luke skywalker comes up to her and slap the book out of her hands and tells her to get back to training, she's one of her many students and Kylo is his best student, doesn't even notice Rey

This sounds bad and uninspired enough to actually be true

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Now that's an idea. I may do that.

youll pay for it since you love sucking disney cock so much.

What's going on over there? I originally said i have absolutely no expectations for this movie.
It's going to be as shit as 7 and 8, if not worse.

If the knights of ren creat a new sith order I am okay with this

>i love nu wars shit, me and my faggot boys are all going to see it lmao

Learn to post tumbler nigger kys

>she closes the book and pushes it towards the camera saying "there's still space left to write your own Star Wars® Story"

>i just want the cubs to get some runs and im the bad guy?

That's the best part, they set things up for endless assembly line sequels but no one on God's green earth gives a shit anymore.

That's nothing, he got knocked unconscious by getting poked in his neck roll.

That would be the most embarrassing, hokey shit in maybe any franchise ever.

Yeah, in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. I somehow doubt some random dirt farmer living in a straw hut on some shithole outer rim world has access to fancy holographic records.

Ray Park > Park Reys

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how is she recording everything if the book is empty?

LARP

He has back boobies

dream big

No it shouldnt be a Jedi master but it should be Lucas in our timeline, confirming that SW is IRL canon

Nobody cares bigot

I see no problem with this racist.

Muh dicc

It's weird seeing faggots like you over-exaggerate every little thing. The woman in that webm probably doesn't even remember that experience or think much of her job. She'll just do it for a summer and move on, maybe doing a reddit AMA later in life when she's bored (and, of course, it'll be uninteresting as fuck).

>naming themselves Skywalkers in honor of Luke and Kylo
Nice, now if only Kylo were a Skywalker.

>Last scene
Pic related.

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>Rey rebuilds the Jedi Order naming themselves Skywalkers
I guess it's literally Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

>I guess when the force awakens, and the last jedi is gone, we will put our hope in the rise of Skywalker.

This is some Final Fantasy XIII-3 levels of stupid ending

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What a terrible idea. Smh at these fags telling you otherwise.

Please let be this real. I just want the shitshow after this. The shitshow will be more entertaining than epix.

No-one cares, faggot. Mouse Wars is not canon.

Why she a force sensitive tho

But when do they go back in time?

How are you retards still talking about this trash?

There are more hot chicks in the world than there are grains of sand on the beach. They aren't special

Yeah it's sort of disconcerting how she goes from average-looking to classic beauty as soon as she turns her head