Hey Brody! Try opening the beaches now you stupid fucking bastard!

It wasn't trying to actually kill anyone, it just mistook them for seals :) Also sharks are very curious and inquisitive but because they don't have any hands they have to explore with their mouths which are also filled with serrated teeth. We never see Jaws actually eat someone and swallow them.

happy 40th anniversary!

The Amity Islanders have mistaken me for this dickhead tiger shark. It seems logical because the tiger shark also works near Massachusetts and in fact does the same exact thing I do and he also has a penchant for seal meat and the occasional licence plate. The tiger and I even come from the same genus, although I have a slightly better dorsal fin.

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>it's a Jaws eats a black, gets AIDS and starts losing weight episode

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Based

>I'm on the verge of tears by the time I arrive at the estuary since I'm positive I won't have a decent meal. But I do, and relief washes over me in an awesome wave.

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That would require the robot shark to work.

this. Jaws did literally nothing wrong

Tonight, I uhh..ahaAHAH....I JUST HAD TO EAT A LOT OF PEOPLE!

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Bobs Burgers did an episode about that exact mechanical shark

My dad was obsessed with these things, he'd quote from parodies of movies he hadn't seen.

Fantastic thread, very impressive.

youtu.be/52X2m6HcsWI

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I have all the characteristics of a fish like being: blood, flesh, skin, gills; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

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You're a big shark

Crazy to think that’s what we all look like on the inside

Fuck you. How many of your ancestors died fighting faggoty animals without arms? Sharks serve no purpose and we should extinct 'em

For you

...I have to return some limbs.

>pic
that scene scares me more than any other part of the movie
it's the way it looks under the water
makes it look too real

Hey Jaws, how have you been?

Humans are the real monsters

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M-mom?

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They serve to cull you the next time you get into more than 3 feet of water ;)
t. not a shark

Your Dad sounds pretty based.

All my Dad does is laugh whenever someone says the word nigger on TV or in the movie .

>Fuck you. How many of your ancestors died fighting faggoty animals without arms?
Apparently the Hawaiian kings would have gladiatorial fights (dunno if they were criminals or just enemies or just chosen from the population) between man and shark.

They had special rock pool caves/alcoves where they'd lure a great white or other large shark and seal the chamber and the human would be dropped in with only a small knife and they'd battle to the death.

This is way funnier with no sound

If I pull you out of the water will you die?

I like to dissect girls, did you you know I'm utterly insane?

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Heh.

omg wow!

very good user, very good

Let's see the tiger shark's card.

You're a fucking ugly bitch. I want to chomp you to death and then swim around in your blood.

What was his problem?

I love this thread

>Where does this shark work in anyway?
>*surfaces* Murders and executions

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dubs

Let's see Paul Allen's cardshark.

these are good

I love Jaws, it's probably on my top 10 favorites

based

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same here user

no more brother wars telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/9330247/Humans-evolved-from-primitive-sharks-new-research-suggests.html

Technically all life stems from the same source. Not exactly a big deal. We'll still hunt you sharks down.

heh

The Orca? On a Friday night? How'd he swing that?

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I'm sure SyFy did.

"... had a little drink about an hour ago and it's gone right to my head..."

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Based dad. Your father sounds like a great lad.

HEY LIL BRODIE; I JUST SHOT A FUCKING SHARK AND SPRAYED HIS BLOODY SHARKMEAT ALL OVER YOUR OCEAN; AND BEFORE THAT I LET HIM EAT THE REST OF MY CREW; I BET YOU FEEL DUMB NOW; BRODY, HUH!

You're alright.

You're an idiot.

prove it

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massive lol

Let's see Paul Allen's scar.

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now lets see Jaw's license plates

It even has a watermark.

JJ Abrams CGI remake when?

Do you like Huey Lewis and the Chews?

very nice

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>I can't believe the shark prefers Ben's meat to mine

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FEED ME A PET DOG

That's bone.

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>The tiger and I even come from the same genu

no they don't

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shut up nerd

if you're gonna meme do it right faggot

underrated

>ate Quints...

Tsukisame was a good VN

kek

Listen, the mud soup and the charcoal arugula are outrageous here.

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Based

reminds me of James and the Giant Peach

a what?

How did you make this meme? How does Yea Forums work? Why do some things stick and others don't?

Try catching anything with the Orca now, Quint you stupid fucking bastard

things that are funny stick without large effort or forcing

Smile, you son of a bitch!

Well, don't just smile at me, eat me!

underrated

Excellent

I don't know too many stories about production (of JAWS) but dad has always claimed that they had a hell of a time getting their fake shark to work.

At one point, some crew/grips were all happy because they'd gotten the prop to work as desired, again. Meanwhile, there was a real leak on some boat. The crew called over to the boat, "The shark is working! The shark is working!", to which was given the reply "The boat is sinking! The boat is sinking!"

Kek

Where does Patrick Sharkman work?

They did. It sank to the bottom of the bay on literally day one of shooting and they had to spend hours retrieving it instead of filming. It was a nonstop nightmare. Although the claim that it not working is the reason the shark isn't seen for the first two thirds of the film is false, Spielberg always intended to hide it for the first half of the film, but it was meant to appear more in the third act but the thing was so hard to film with its screentime was cut down.

Murders and ingestions!

excellent

Fucking lol

>Spielberg always intended to hide it for the first half of the film,

not true. there are storyboards of it appearing in the very first scene.

lurk more newfag scum

Kill yourself reddit nigger tourist

I have to return some licence plates

Nice post but you're wrong af Bateman is the American Psycho and Jaws is the American antithesis. Brody is the all-American man and Jaws/Hooper and Paul Allen are city slickers of money. Bateman is Brody without Quint.

Most movies used to be allegories or at least used themes, subtext and metaphors to tell one audience about the unspoken beneath an appearance of everyday reality. Now you Yea Forums brainlets can't understand what you're being told unless it's some dumb meme that spells itself out which is why you're obsessed with Baneposting which you don't understand as literal.

Boomers get it as do Zoomers but you fucking 90s childhood retards have been stupified by shit like Harry Potter and Pokemon which is why you seethe so hard at the glorious Prequel kino. Cinematography is self-evidently beautiful, the actual film is within and between the metaphors illustrated by the tone and themes.

Since The Century of the Self our movie and entertainment industry stopped being pretty to turn itself into abrainwashing a brainwashing machine appealing to the lowest order of popularity. Decent cinematography and television-tier directing and phoneposters fill our world with pure shit as the masters and shills tap.

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Do ya like Sea Shanties?

Because I want to fin in

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Cheer'ly Man was a little new wave for my tastes. But when Stormalong came along in '53, I think the shanty really came into its own, commercially and artistically. The whole song has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives it a big boost.

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Thank you. Send her up. Christie, get out and dry
off, choose a robe-not the Bijan and come and meet me and
our guest in the living room for drinks.

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>what if jaws was inside the duel trucks tanker the whole time?

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Bet you thought this post would get replies, didn't you?

I’m not trying to get you drunk, but that’s a very fine sailor you’re not eating.

Why are there copies of National geographic all over the place, d-do you have a cleaner fish? A little remora or something?
>No, Allen!
Is that a Harpoon?
>Yes, it is!

Patrick Sharkman eats Quint(s)

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Baitman

Been here since since early '04, I'll never stop posting quality posts just because some other website upsets faggot children such as yourself because apparently they write well.

fucking brilliant

119654600
I bet you were in nappies in 2004

My name is Patrick Baitman. I am twenty-six years old. I live on the South Coast off Massachusetts, in the Atlantic. Flipper the Dolphin lives in the bay once over.
I believe in taking care of myself, in a
balanced diet, in a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on some seal fat while I do my fin crunches. I can do a thousand now.

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"Check em, eat em"

Jaws Post Credits
>Mayor, we have begun our recruitment as requested for your team
>We were able to unfreeze the man from Pequod
>The fisherman from Cuba is on his way

man, best fucking thread on Yea Forums this whole week

fucking pathetic

SOUL
119654878 SOULLESS and don't even deserve a fucking (you)

I simply am not care.

Why didn't they just touched Jaw's nose? Touching a sharks nose makes them immobile and docile.

He kept eating them first.

based

>evolution

Heh

And? They still had hands capable of touching or patting his nose.

Not when they're in his four rows of teeth

Good dad

Burning the midnight oil Mr. Tiger Shark? Hey don't forget to sign in.

*chomp*

Why the hell can't we have decent shark movies?
Jaws is 10/10 and the next best shark movie is like a 7/10

Would jaws have been better if Brendan Frasier played as the shark?

>S.A.I.L has approved Mr Brody for The Seafarers initiative,

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When they will remake Jaws, will they include the original plot of the novel when Hooper cucked Brody?

And if they do, will the hooper be played by a black acotr?

Cos every shark movie other than Jaws is just a slasher movie with a shark. Jaws is a slow paced thriller with great characters and dialogue.

>We're gonna need a bigger dick

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hooper cucked brody? explain

Would you call it a slow burn?

Yes, because it is.

>mfw scientists believe T-Rex roars were infrasonic
>mfw they believe it would sound like the cellos in the Jaws theme

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Who would win, Jaws or T-Rex?

in the novel there's a subplot where hooper cucks brody. he sleeps with his wife

spielberg cut that down from the movie, because he wanted to be all about the men doing manly shit

one screengrab from the original death scene for the Kintner boy, this would have been spectacular.

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Good, who the fuck cares about infidelity in a story about a man-eating shark?

and also Hooper is a twat, he's nicer in the film
Spielberg wanted all that extraneous shit out of there, and he also thought by halfway through the book that he wanted the shark to eat everyone because they were all so unlikable

also a funny reason Hooper survives in the film, when the script had him being killed trying to poison the shark in the cage at the end. The stunt footage with a real shark and a real diver really did have the shark rip the cage up, and the diver fled for his safety, but they got some amazing footage of the shark rolling over the cage that simply had to be used in the film, only the cage is empty in the shot and so Hooper had to escape the cage to match the footage, so he winds up surviving in the final film

Holy shit so in the book when theyre reporting that chrissie is missing the officer mentions naked faggots dancing. This is literally the second page.

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AHHHH GOD HELP ME BRODY, HE'S GOT ME, GOT ME RIGHT IN HIS BIG CHOMPING Jaws(™)!

This concession has meant nothing

Holy shit now they're talking about black dude raping white women. How did i not know this book was so based?

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Wrong brainlet. Every person with a brain itt read my post. Maybe redditors like you and insecure anons need affirmation for their posts but my posts never get yous so it's nothing to me. I was actually replying to Bill Maher after listening to a stream of his closing monologue and for the tenth episode in a row I've proven Jews like him control America through entertainment media, Jacobins.

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Try getting a reservation at Dorsal now!

Sheriff Brody, I'm Sea IA

He didn't sail so good

>there are sharks posting on Yea Forums

IGNORE SHARK POSTERS

So you got yourself attached to the boat, congratulations, what's the next step in your master plan?

The movie is a lot better than the novel. What was with that weird pissing scene anyway?

Eating this boat

WITH NO SURVIVORS

Haha
> "the boat is sneeding! The boat is sneeding!"

Just a reminder. Jaws the ride may be gone from Universal Studios in Florida, but not in Osaka.

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