What is the absolute bare minimum this film need to not be a complete failure?

Who cares, only idiots watch this shit these days anyway, can't imagine how stupid you'd have to be to PAY to watch it.

There's literally no way to save it.

Impossible. Anything they could do comes off as them backpedaling from TLJ, which I don't like. They killed it, they're unable to say they killed it, but now they're playing Tsundere with the fanbase. Stop toadying, you made your bed, now lie in it.

>Luke comes back, isn't a total cuck
>Rey doesn't become the center of everything
>No Jedi horseshit, individuals rule
>Scale back on the wokeness
It's too much to hope for though, it will probably be shit.

1. How was Luke's lightsaber recovered?
2. Who was Snoke?
3. Who is Rey?
4. What motivates Kylo?

marveltier

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>>Luke comes back, isn't a total cuck
You can't backpedal from that. It's done. And it always will be.

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To not be a failure it needs to make more money than the last film.

People have this idea that simply making a profit means success. Batman Vs Superman made a profit but it tarnished the brand and cost DC billions in the long run.

The director should hint that the Holiday Special is canon.

This is garbage, fuck video games

XI will be Mary Sue destroys the Patriarchy.

That is why they are resurrecting Palpatine.

It was, for a little while.

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It is Canon of the highest level

OP, nothing they can do can repair the damage. It's over for Star Wars!!!FACT!!!

Define "failure".

To not be a financial failure, it doesn't need to do anything. This past year has proved anything - and I mean ANYTHING - produced by Disney will spin gold at the box office, even if it gets sub-40% approval from critics and audiences alike on Rotten Tomatoes. The new paradigm is "only Disney movies succeed, and to succeed you must be a Disney movie". Star Wars Episode IX could be six hours worth of the most putrid film-making imaginable with 10% critical approval and the worst word-of-mouth surrounding a mainstream release since, well, Episode VIII, and it's still guaranteed to break a billion opening weekend easy-peasy. If Aladdin can do it, you can bet your ass this one can.

To not be an ARTISTIC failure, that's physically impossible at this point and you already know this, so why even bother making a thread asking.

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Well if Palpatine coming back makes him the avatar of the Dark Side, then Luke should be the avatar of the Light side
>Kylo and Rey fight physically while Luke and Sheev fight in the force/spiritually
>Kylo rejects the Dark Side giving Luke the chance to remove Sheev from existence forever while also permanently fading into the Force
>Kylo and Rey fuck off to start a new order of force users based on each understanding both sides of the force and how to avoid conflict

They will try this, but when will Hollywood learn that 98% of girls/women do not give a fuck about sci fi/fantasy or adventure/action films.

what cartoon is this?

It will be a failure, either way, TLJ saw to that
The only way it will not be a financial failure is if they basically go the Ep 7 route, i.e. nostalgia set to maximum to pavlov dog the audience to financial victory.
Hell they're already doing that:
>Luke, Lando, Palpatine etc. are back
>The medals from episode 4, the death star, Kylo's mask etc are back
>John Williams' brother said that they're brought back every single musical leitmotif ever "Tie Fighter attack" theme

If they wanted to make Episode 9 actual kino though they would actually have to be bold and go one of to ways
1) Completely commit to chaos, the Luke in TLJ wasn't actually Luke, it was Luuke, also known as bigger Luke, who was supposed to lead Rey towards Nihilism. This is why he left a map, but was also so contradictory and hostile towards Rey, or why he knew where to force hologram on Crait. All of this was a ploy by Snoke to emotionally confuse Rey, but the actual mastermind behind it was Jar Jar Binks, revealed to be and ally of palpatine and who now carries his masters essence to find a new body. That body is Rey. Jar Jar blocked Snoke's vision in his final moments so that Kylo could kill him and take over the first order. They knew that his incompetence would ruin both the FO, so now a hidden Palpatine loyalist faction, consisting of both remnants of the empire and separatist droids, can take over the broken galaxy, with support from the people who yearn for the days of the empire, i.e. the last stable galactic regime. Rey and Kylo now have to find the real Luke, who was fighting in the shadows against Palpatine alongside his wife Mara Jade and his son, to kill the emperor once and for all.

2) The first order got defeated offscreen and episode 9 is just 2 hours of Rey being absolutely railed by Chewbacca in the falcon in various positions, while Kylo has to watch, desperately trying not to cry as the sound of Rey's deafening moans and clapping ass cheeks fill his ears

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*John Williams' brother said that they're brought back every single musical leitmotif ever, just like "Tie Fighter attack" theme in TLJ

I'm 100% sure there is nothing they can redeem this series now, people just don't care anymore

It's over. Nobody likes any of the characters created for Disney's Star Wars and it's probably impossible to write a good story with those character now in one film. Maybe the only thing that would get people excited or happy about the film is if they brutally killed off all the new characters in the film (and toss in Jar-Jar Binks to boot) and have the empire take over the entire galaxy. That would give a tabula rasa set up for future films with totally new characters and not have to reference any of the current characters.

All it needs to do is take a billion at the box office, which it will do.
Disney will then announce a reboot with all the main characters being black. Evil characters will, of course, be white.
"Luke, I AM your mother's husband."

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Star Wars will never be good under the hands of Disney, who now sadly own everything. Movies - I mean, Patented DisneyVisions® - are ruined for ever.

Its a woman

test

1. give at least some backstory to snoke
2. explain how the first order took over the entire galaxy in less than a week
3.focus more on Poe, he's the only good character of the sequel trilogy

Toy sales are not licensing fees- only a few percentage points of toy sales.

hahaha
Just hang it up disney.

Fpbp

I'll watch it for the badness 2bh. Zero chance it'll be good.

Wow!! Just muh animu!!!!!!

>2) The first order got defeated offscreen and episode 9 is just 2 hours of Rey being absolutely railed by Chewbacca in the falcon in various positions, while Kylo has to watch, desperately trying not to cry as the sound of Rey's deafening moans and clapping ass cheeks fill his ears
youtubemultiplier.com/5d55db69049ad-sta-wars-episode-9-ending-audio-leaked.php

It's the third in a trilogy. It's too late to fix any of the stupid crap they pulled in the previous two films.

>special effects bad!

starts with "it was all a dream!" if not then it sux

Honestly I’m just curious to see what they do after 9 when they inevitably announce more trilogies
Because at that point they will better much be out of human OT characters to reuse and this current sequel trilogy so far has just rehashed the rebels vs empire story and hasn’t really introduced any entirely new major elements to the universe future films can build off

Kill all the new characters in the first five minutes except Kylo Ren, and the rest is just Anyone can Whistle musical by Arthur Laurents and Stephen Sondheim, with Kylo Ren doing the part of the main girl, and all the officers and side characters replaced by nu-Empire and Stormtrooper characters.

I can already hear Kylo singing "everybody says don't" with his robotic helmet voice, and it sounds amazing. Also, the shitstorm would be the greatest, even better than TLJ.

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It can't unless the events of TLJ are revealed to be a force dream or something in the first 5 minutes

1 billion dollars

It needs to be 4+ hours long, or split into two parts. It's the third movie in a trilogy where the second movie reset most things back to zero. What plot threads are there to end?

They need to end it with a sequel hook.

2.5 hours of Park Rey riding a squirting bad dragon dildo and giving it a footjob

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dump most of the content and plot of 7 & 8, and take tremendous risks

>2,5 hours of solo
Hell no

A 4 scenes porn movie would be better, first being a solo, second with Poe, third with Kylo while Finn cry on the background like in that one Aika movie, one lesbian scene, and finally a double penetration with Poe and Finn after they kill Kylo. I like Kylo, but the good guys must win in the end.

Honestly, they should just aim at making a really good visual spectacle and action movie. There's no saving the plot of this trainwreck, but if you can give us 90 minutes of great fights and set pieces, that's something.

must allow incels to bring a gf that has sex with them

if Palpatine wins at the end and kills off all the nu-characters while laughing maniacally, it will be a success imo.

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I won't go see it regardless, I hope it fails. Used to be a fan.

If it can be held to 1 billion WW that would constitute an embarrassing failure given the IP and Rian would lose his trilogy. That's something to hope for anyway.

OMG I LOVE LIGHTSABERS !!!

The only way I would honestly go see it would be if TFA was a precog force dream and Luke wakes up screaming from that nightmare and sees Rey's ship landing to give him the lightsaber. Having all of TLJ retconned would be the only way I would give them any money, and they won't do that so I just hope they fail.

Let's get further into this. I want a vast array of stunning alien environments, a full blown Peter Jackson style battle. at least three ridiculous lightsaber duels, a podrace, I want two Death Stars to fucking crash into each other and go RAAAAGH, I want force ghost Luke, Anakin, Obi-wan, Qui-gon and Yoda to have a big Dragon Ball battle with force Ghost Palpatine, Snoke, Darth Maul, and CGI Christopher Lee, I want Han to come back as a cyborg, and have a wild west shootout with Boba Fett, and I want Chewie to fight a giant space monster done in stop motion like some Ray Harryhausen shit.
Give me all of that, and you might peak my interest,

I honestly dont even want to stream it or torrent it.

I honestly don't even want to watch it for free.

not use time travel
If they use it, they will only do more damage, there is no possible way they can make time travel work in star wars.
It's gonna be a mess, and it's JJ so itll be more of the same uninspired trash we saw with TFA

Having a Stormtrooper variation that isn't just painting it red or something.

OH WAIT