Tom "Melkor" Bombadil

He's a mothafuckin' P.I.M.P.

we're all in the same situation so shut your trap, nobody predicted the dump

You have been visited by the Laura of mediocre threads.

This thread is about to die with only 10 replies. OP, hopefully you got what you desired out of it and that it wasn't a total loss.

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So what was her fucking problem?

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too many arms
would still fuck

Don't insult my spider mommy gf please, thank you.

Yeah, Melkor/Morgoth was like Sauron's boss and he's roughly analogous to Satan.

Tom Bombadill is literal filler

image the handjob

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Tom Bombadil is a blue wizard

satan isn't that bad

a balrog of morgoth

He was the spirit of Middle Earth.

Tell me more about the giant queen spider that killed a bunch of faggy trees. And that fellow with the pretty rocks who killed like 9 fucking Balrogs holy shit.

Halfling theory time!
In a world where the origins of every race are meticulously documented, hobbits stand nearly alone as having no creator or origin.
HOWEVER, there are others with similiar mysterious ancestry, such as the wild men of the hills and Beorn the bear guy, and of course Tom Bombadil.
What is the connection?
What do you think anons?

what did you say?

Tom Bombadil is Oromë.

Aule the Vala
And before lorefags start crying, go reread the Silmarillion and tell me what specifically about Aule doesn't match Bombadil
>b-but muh nature spirit
Valar and Maiar ARE nature spirits

What was Bombadil's tax policy?

for me, it's sharkey

Orome is a hunter, he moves around
Bombadil stays put, cataloguing the material world of which he is Master
He's Aule

There was also a dragon the size of a small European country, he was also killed by an elf in single combat. The Silmarillion is wonderfully retarded, but unfortunately also insanely boring and unreadable.

the Hobbits the Hobbits the Hobbits the Hobbits

to Isengard to Isengard

That elf had a flying warship with a magic Death Star cannon.

Elves are for sex.

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Based.

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I have more times than you can even imagine.

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will she be safe from goblin rape?

Fuck Elves
Fuck Dwarfs
and FUCK HUMANS.
>gookmoot wont let me post pictures for reasons

Shit feet.

Thankfully no.

Don't insult best waifu.

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Aule is a smith.
Bombadil is not.
Any comparison of Yavanna and Goldberry is laughable.

That sounds like a fun read unironically. I appreciate you and other anons spoon-feeding and giving highlights. Tolkein works sound like a hell of a read when they're abridged by fans. I don't even know the lore all that well but I got absorbed by a fan theory of Tom Bombadil being the worst fucking scourge, Nameless and Fatherless.

I didn't mention the witch at any point.

Spider waifu > elf waifu

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What about spider elf waifu?

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Jesus christ monkey balls, my dick.

Im a milkers man so like the cow girl who will probably have the shit raped out of her in the new issues

She was an avatar of entropy born of Melkor's discord, more or less a black hole in spider form, forever doomed to consume light until she turns on herself. Her life was hell.

OP "faggot" user

You're taking "smith" too literally
Aule didn't hammer the dwarves out on an anvil, did he?

Except she wasn't born of Melkor at all, she was much more powerful than even he was. She was a primeval spirit who just emerged from the void. Not even the Valar knew where she came from.

For spider see As for the elf, he was the greatest craftsman to ever live and had an ego the size of a continent for that reason and was unusually lusty for an elf since he fathered seven children (all sons).
He got manipulated by the big bad and led his people on a doomed revenge mission to reclaim the Silmarils from said big bad. Then he soloed those balrogs until he was mortally wounded through sheer numbers. Then he literally burst into flames because of how fucking angry he was, leaving only ashes. And his soul was from then on permanently imprisoned in Elven purgatory (most elves get to reincarnate after a while).

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Tolkien was writing Tom Bombadil short stories separately and decided to insert him into the LOTR narrative where he didn't belong. It was just a mistake of a non professional author that was writing for his own entertainment. Bombadil isn't a valar, or anything else. Just a goof by the author.

Yes Melkor didn't create her directly, but it stands to reason that his introduction of asymmetry into an otherwise perfectly symmetrical existence should have some sort of fallout. She was a side-effect that no one had counted on. Not that this is canon or anything, it's just a theory.

I don't know where you're pulling this symmetry stuff from, but definitely not from the Silmarillion.

>elves were better engineers than dwarves by an order of magnitude
>dwarves were stereotyped as superior craftsmen and elves as hippies
Not fair.

So autistic he reee'd himself into combustion.

>Oromë
>legendary hunter who's constantly travelling the world and whose wrath is the most terrible to behold out of all the Valar
>Bombadil
>carefree faggot who never leaves his land and doesn't give a shit about anything ever
That makes perfect sense.

It's not a goof, he purposely inserted a character that was the equal but opposite of Sauron to illustrate what "good" power was like. A character who could dominate anything, but without ambition or greed of any sort

while your bullshitting your dubs have proven you true. boaz and joachim declare that this theory is in fact correct. tolkien btfo.

this it's just a yes there is evil afoot but there are things far more powerful and good, dont despair type of thing, it{s a catholic thing

Equal of Sauron would be pretty damn weak on the cosmic scale. Gandalf is an equal of Sauron who had his power handicapped to prevent him from fucking with the mortals too much.

>dumb "do orcs have menus" meme that is not in the books
>tfw in books uruk hai use word "picnic"

He probably is referencing the music of Ainur and the fact that Melkor would ruin and distort everything from the start.

>In a world where the origins of every race are meticulously documented

only the history of men and elves are documented well, there's some info on dwarves but what about ents, orcs and all the other humanoids?

False, even back in God land where the spirits were on max brightness Olorin feared the power of Sauron, and in middle earth where Sauron had spent millennia mastering control of the physical world, Gandalf would've lost a square fight badly

t.Ugluk

i find Satan is split between Sauron and Morgoth. Morgoth is the original sin and chief demon while Satans angel of light and chief tempter aspect

My dude, it literally says in the book that she was an ancient spirit that had been around longer than valar. If I remember right melkor wasn't even aware of her until he traveled north and stumbled upon her lair.
If you're this full of yourself user, you should probably stop reading books and switch to comics...

based

There are many terrible things that live in the darkness surrounding the world and predate the Ainur. Eru pushed them back when he created it, Ungoliant just found a way in. If she hadn't ganked herself she might have just gone on consuming until she devoured all of creation.

Creating the world by singing is ripped straight from the Finno-Ugric mythology. There are a couple of parts in the Silmarillion ripped off wholesale from the Kalevala, which might be one of the reasons why Tolkien abandoned it and refused to publish any of it.

based, keked and checked

It's much safer to assume that Eru was himself one of these things who wanted a private playground of his own.

I mean yeah, he was just sort of floating around the void, and he does wield a terrible amount of power.

Can't even imagine how much of a faggot you must feel like right now

good post friend very nice

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>but what about ents, orcs and all the other humanoids

Ents were made to protect the trees by one of the Valar who was in charge of trees. Orcs were made by Morgoth in Angraband after he fucked off and stole some elves. Been listening to the Silmarilion audiobook the last few days at work

I have read the silmarillion, which by the way just gets better the further it goes, but there's no deep documentation of orcs and whatever. It just casually says Melkor corrupted some elves into orcs.

Tom Bombadil was an allegory for Jewry

Undoubtedly based.

But Tom isn't a greedy jew merchant, he doesn't even understand value of things as we do and is willing to help for free.

>_____ time!
>theory
>HOWEVER,
>xxx? xxxx?
>anons?

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But what does he eat?

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That’s what you think. He’s the darkest and most deceptive and misunderstood creature in middle earth

smol guys

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>until she turns on herself
But Ëarendil killed her.

>Gandalf is an equal of Sauron
There's huge differences in power between Maiar.

>My dude, it literally says in the book that she was an ancient spirit that had been around longer than valar.
She was in the world before the Valar came into the world, which was after they looked at creation and wanted to influence it directly.
She did not exist before the Valar, because that would make her Erú and that's retarded.
So yes, she, like the rest of Arda, was created by the Music (and probably by Melkor, seeing as she is clearly evil and he made discordant musi).

Dwarves were made by Aule. When he got called out for it he wanted to smash then with his hammer but when they covered in fear, mercy prevailed.

PS: Fuck jannies.

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Laughed my fucking head off when I saw this post and I don't know why.
Maybe just my own acquired nastiness of liking well-meaning and nice people put down?
Thanks I suppose.

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Only decent one is that he's an avatar of Eru, but he's shit no matter how you slice it. Pointless, jarring addition to the story that undermines the narrative before it even properly begins. Jackson unironically improved the plot by removing him from the movies.

Could the Watcher in the Water be a void creature or a descendant from them? I saw a video where it was theorized that the lake had a connection to the deep waters underneath kazad-dum and there was actually some stuff in the books substantiating it.

>adventure happens in a story about adventure
>I don't like this thing

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>void creature
Stupid fan theory.
There is nothing in the void (except the Timeless Halls of Erú, where the Ainur live) and Eä (creation itself).

The Watches is most likely just an evil creature created by Melkor's shitty music during creation.

Whatever he wänts

I'm not implying they existed before the Eru's creation. But didn't Melkor spawn creatures there when he roamed the void?

>____ and I don't know why
>my own nastiness
>well-meaning and nice people being put down
>thanks
the spacing is horrible as well

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I knew spider mommy would help save this thread :^)

>But didn't Melkor spawn creatures there when he roamed the void
No, Melkor, much to his frustration, didn't have the power to create things like that, especially in the Void. That's why he had to corrupt Elves into Orcs.

The spacing is fine dickhead, just take the compliment.

The Númenóreans would have defeated the Noldor at there height in the first age. Fight me

>Bu-tt elves are stronger!

Who cares when the military might that made Sauron shit his pants crushes you with numbers and technological superiority

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Alright then. Makes sense thematically.

Dubs of truth. Reminder that the virgin Elrond couldn't even shine a light to the chad Isildur. It wasn't the weakness of men that allowed the ring to go, it was his own.

Shiet I belt goldberry a fine ass thicc bitch

This isn't reddit you nigger, I'll gladly take a racism ban if it means you get rustled right the fuck out of here.

He may have, in a metaphysical sense.

she was high on godsap at the time

Tell me, where is Gandalf for I much desire to speak with him.

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He’s from the void

he is a god!

youtube.com/watch?v=enUgkYN7TFI

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Real Tom Bombadil here. Ask me anything.

This. Also, In The House of Tom Bombadil has some of the most kino Tolkien prose in the entire trilogy.

That gif is fucking the most disgusting thing I've ever seen

Not enough merry dolling, fake Tom.

If Ungoliant was able to come to middle Earth from the void, does that mean Melkor will return?

Nobody cares about your compliments faggot, kill yourself

Look up Dagor Dagorath.

Yes, the apocalypse, or Dagor Dagorath as Tolkein calls it, will occur once Melkor returns. He'll be defeated, but it'll be a pyrrhic victory for the Valar.

She was not more powerful than him, she was just juiced up on God-Juice

It's kind of Ragnarok.

Tom was inserted to show through a "vow of poverty" one could detach themselves from the power struggle of good and evil

Why couldn’t he just have sex?

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kek

He tried

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You really played him down. He was just the best craftsman. He was the mightiest being of creation. Excluding the gods. He was the smartest, strongest, most beautiful, and everything else bestest. Except and this you were right about he had the ego to match literally being the greatest being of a race of super beings
If he hadn't chomped out in anger and waited on his army, he would have kicked morgoths shit in.

Also what was Melkor's tax policy?

feanor best elf

fingolfin is faggot

Are the Shadow of Mordor/War games any good plotwise? I don't care about creative liberties so long as the plot is good

Feanor was just a tool of Morgoth.

you're a tool

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Cringe.

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wow they made Sauron shit his pants? that is absolutely amazing
fucking Sauron? the guy who got owned by a dog? certainly no Noldor could ever step up to him!
and it's not like the Noldor fought his master that he got all his power from either

aTOM BOMBadil
OC theory do not steal, fucking incels

Oh I forgot to mention.....They also made the Valar shit there pants, they had to have God himself intervene

Also Sauron was kicking the shit out of the Noldor of the second age.

get btfo'd larping mentally ill cringe furfaggot

I prefer to think the watcher was a descendant of the monsters Melkor bred in Utumno.

>dog
Super duper magic dog.
Also, Sauron had a vampire waifu back then.

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>insanely boring and unreadable.
pleb filtered

Holy shit this is the Rumoured cast for the Amazon series

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>Sauron is a literal dark lord
Based

>Amazon series

Just like Ungoliant's origin isn't explained in any other way that she appeared from nothing, Bombadil isn't explained.

Is the user who made this post still here? Care to explain why you posted it?

Are you kidding me? The first pages that are blissfully free of hordes of minor characters with carefully written genealogies are the only readable part of that book, as well as the last few pages. Everything in the middle is absolute logorrhoea.

The Silmarillion is a wonderful book and anyone who has trouble reading it needs to take their ADHD medication.

Melkor is literally Satan, except he never loved God (Eru Illuvatar) in the first place.

It's all Eru's fault anyway.

>>Everything in the middle is absolute logorrhoea.
>Fall of Fingolfin
>Beren and Lúthien

Literally by far the most interesting part of the book

Still here. I like posting Laura. Thread was about to get archived with only 10 replies at the time, which is why I posted specifically (I also saged that post).

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She was a spider, spiders do things just because they're spiders. They don't give a shit

No, not in the slightest. The plot for both games is terrible. Shadow of Mordor is fun because the plot has a minimal impact on the overall LOTR story, you're basically just playing Gondor Ranger: Mordor Asylum. The gameplay is still fun though so it's tolerable.

Shadow of War has worse gameplay and an even worse plot, drastically altering important elements of the lore for cheap gameplay thrills.

Tolkien never wrote a fixed explanation for orcs and their reproduction, if theyre grown in vats and so on, people have theorized its because that would mean they are creatures without souls and inherently evil, which is something a devout catholic like Tolkien would not allow. Its convoluted but thats the most likely answer as to why orcs are just there without any further development

Nah man shes lovecraftian. A terror of the deep darkness that truly doesnt belong in this world

>fantasy adventure story
>a fantastical event occurs well within the domain of reality in the book
>"this ruins the book"
wew

Am I the only one who has trouble reading songs in books?

Melkor couldnt create, only corrupt, and there is no equivalent of something as powerful as ungoliant which his discordant music could have ruined.

What's the difference between a goblin, an orc, and a Urukhai? What do Balrogs eat?

i mean, hiddleston has some elven qualities at least. one saving grace in that potential eventual shitstorm

There's no need for one because Tolkien said he's just an unexplained entity.

>not figuring out a melody and humming it to yourself

post aged pretty badly, there are regular lotr threads here not sure why you posted that. maybe its because you should fuckin lurk moar you stupid bitch.

why are furries such faggots?

an uruk hai is an ordinary orc crossbred with a human (allegedly), balrogs dont eat shit since theyre divine monsters (dark angels), a goblin is an orc crossbred with a jew

Uruk-hai just means orc folk. These are the big bad orcs initially bred by Morgoth. The smaller bitch orcs are the orcs bred by Sauron in Mordor, and are commonly referred to as snaga (slave), by the Uruk-hai.

>What's the difference between a goblin, an orc

nothing, different words for the same thing

>urukhai

larger and stronger than regular orcs, possibly orc-human hybrids

>What do Balrogs eat?

whatever they want. they are spirits so i doubt they get hungry.

complete lies, uruk hai were the invention of Saruman and exclusively bred in Isengard

>tell me what specifically about Aule doesn't match Bombadil

Aule lives in Valinor

/shitty theory

Shot you're right, got mixed up.

>first man with your bro to discover ancient hidden elf city
>stay for a while cause its chill but leave cause you miss home
>cant tell anyone were it was its super secret
>big batte comes
>gathers best men and bro
>dumb elf lord charges early
>big battle off to a bad start
>allies betray you but old hidden city elf friends show up
>elf king dead
>retreat across river and let hidden city elf's flee cause they pussy
>orcs kill so many they ford river with the body's
>bro dies arrow to the eye
>beast mode
>kills troll chieftan and takes his axe
>kills more orcs and trolls
>is buried beneath bodies of his enemies while alive
>demon finds him and drags him to hell
>Statan questions him for location of ancient hidden city
>calls Satan a pussy
>gets his entire family cursed with bad luck and gets to watch all them go insane and kill themselves
>satan let's him go
>yells at everyone who let his family die and then kills himself
Tolkiens best charecter

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You can go back, thanks.

Was he made to suffer?

this. great book.

>melkor
fucking kek
eru illúvatar is tom

I hate it when elves are depicted with such short ears. What's the difference from humans, then?

>What's the difference from humans, then?
The millennia-long lifespan. That's it.
I'm with you on this one one. If you're going to have elves, don't just make them humans who live a long time. It's like making dwarves normal humans with beards who live longer.

Friendly reminder that Ungoliant was only more powerful than Melkor because he wasted so much of his energy perverting the nature of reality. Original Melkor would rek that spider pussy and have enough juice left over to fuck over all of Valinor.

>they are creatures without souls and inherently evil, which is something a devout catholic like Tolkien would not allow
Not would not, did not. Someone asked him if orcs were evil by default, and Tolkien said "no, and I wish I could expand that idea in a new story", but then he died.

>Tolkien gave Turin, Hurins son the chance to kill Morgoth in some end of times prophecy after coming back to life but it was written out in the final editions of the Sillmarillion so it would tie in with the Lord of the Rings
>I think its cause he at least gave beren and luthien a second chance but everyone from The Children of Hurin gets no happy ending and he pitied Turin the most even though Hurins story is way more tragic

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Söyboys are really desperate to push lovecraftian elements into the Middle-Earth. But in reality it's unclear whether Tolkien was familiar with Lovecraft's body of work at all. At any rate, his optimistic, pseudo-Christian setting would only suffer from an addition of Lovecraft's nihilism and militant atheism.

Turin is lifted wholesale from the Kalevala (which, in its turn, took him from a folk song by St. Petersburg Finns).

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most just like cosmic evil monsters without understanding the other elements of Lovecraft. So any spooky void bug is suddenly Lovecraft

Tolkien was in love with Finnish folklore and language it's the basis for sindarin

Correction, Tolkien had been in love with the Finnish language up until he heard it spoken for the first time.

I do nothing but cringe when I see a guy with arm ink anymore. It doesn't matter what the picture is. Notice all these oldhead 40-45-50-55somethings walking around now with their saggy aged busted ass sleeve tats and leg tats? That's the fate of every tryhard faggot.

Isn't there an interview were he says it's the most aesthetic language to listen to.

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I rage even harder when women ruin their bodies with that dogshit. Nigger fashion is hideous, but you can always just burn the clothes and buy something good looking, this crap is going to poison your body forever.

Can't find anything like it. He liked only the grammar.

bbc.com/news/magazine-34063157

Celebrimbor is a man. Also, dude cast as Isildur looks scrawny as fuck, which is silly. They should let Joe Rogan play a hobbit or dwarf.

>Isildur

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boards.Yea Forums.org/search#/visited%20laura%20thread

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But he speaks about the grammar.

>Celebrimbor is a man
that's the joke