Come here son, lets see that anus. A-ha, I see some toilet paper residue around your rectum...

gopro inside toilet bowl pointed at woman taking a shit

Costco brand nigga. Represent.

>My Charmin booty is a thing of beauty
>So sweet, so fresh, so cutie..my booty

that fucking member's mark shit sam's club pumps out

youtube.com/watch?v=HjbfjCPuO2Y

WITH CHARMIN ULTRA, LESS IS MORE
WHEN WE SAY LESS IS MORE
LESS IS MORE
IT'S MORE ABSORBENT THAN THE REGULAR RIPPLED BRAND FOR SURE
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Soft toilet paper is a meme

shit. everywhere. bathroom. terrorist guy with uzi has a shit covered ass. no pants. looking out the window with red and blue lights flashing.

tacticool swat team about the breach the bathroom

pulls out the TP, pretends to pull the pin, back hand tosses it into bathroom. stock flashbang noise.

boom, it's clean. terrorist guy gives thumbs up.

Attached: 1555475107838.jpg (1280x1084, 218K)

>Kids TP a house completely at night
>Old man come outside in the morning and looks at his disgraced home
>Old man says, "Shit ain't what it used to be"
>C H A R M I N

ok who else be using that no name double ply

>Sam Jackson looking right at the camera
>fuck that 1 ply sandpaper public restroom bullshit
>treat your asshole right and buy this shit to clean those cheeks
>fade to brand name
that's it, 10 seconds tops or something. back to regularly scheduled programming

CHARMIN BOOTY SMILE

GOTTA CHARMIN BOOTY SMILE

I'm fine with this. Why? Because I no longer have to see those ads with the rainbow pooping unicorn.

Attached: Unicorn.gif (870x471, 2.55M)

Someone takes a piece of toilet paper to a globe and Africa wipes off.
>We can't do that for the world
>Yet
>But we can do it for you

God I hate that commercial

>intense farting noises
>massive *SPLOOSH*
>then wiping
>cut to Ryan Gosling in his scorpion jammies washing his hands
>"I shit."
>Nightcall starts playing

>white male enters public bathroom
>he sees a transsexual inside
>disgusted he goes to the stall to shit
>but there's no toilet paper
>manicured hand reaches under with a roll of TP
>camera jibs up through the celling showing them sharing this moment of hope and change
>logo

Ah the good old days, when you had the creepy guy at the grocery store who got off squeezing the toilet paper, and no one seemed to notice.

Attached: Whipple.jpg (751x582, 96K)

did "certain" people have trouble with wiping their asses before this campaign?

i notice the bear voices are a certain "demographic" was advertisement this necessary for these "people"?

>Bend over and show mommy that cute butthole sweetie

Attached: maxresdefault.jpg (1280x720, 55K)

>open with papa bear letting himself in to a seedy motel room
>there's a package of toilet paper sitting on the bed
>papa bear eases himself down beside it and starts sweettalking it before finally making a move
>Mr. Whipple and a dozen police officers burst in and arrest the bear for squeezing the Chamin.

fuck bears

Attached: girlwashesherface.jpg (600x480, 23K)

>man buys Charmin's extra soft brand
>he goes home and uses it
>like everyone else on the planet he takes a realistic amount to whip
>he flushes and it clogs
>he looks angry and walks away
>his wife goes in after and sees
>she starts screaming at him only for him to get up and hit her
>they start fighting more leading to more abuse
>He reaches for his cup of hot coffee and dumps it on her before bashing her with it
>the best part of waking up is folgers in your cup

is that a penis?

Real men only need toilet paper to dry off the water from their bidet.

Attached: bidet.jpg (425x398, 12K)

>Cleaning your shit covered asshole by rubbing it a bit with a dry piece of paper and calling it a day

Do yanks actually do this?

>he uses toilet paper in 2019

Just wash your ass in the sink you fucking animal

bidet?
more like nigga you gay
cuz u gay if you use that shit homo

>I need to shoot water up my asshole to clean out Jamals cum
vs
>I need to wipe the outside of my ass because I shat from eating large amounts of Crab Legs after watching Kino

This

Obviously it'll have to be toned a bit, but I like this a lot .

What kind of toilet paper do they use in India?

Attached: _85319913_poop_protest.jpg (624x351, 44K)

I'm sorry that your fragile masculinity prevents you from experiencing toilet bliss.

Not always. I bought one for my parents years ago when my elderly father broke his shoulder and couldn't reach back anymore. Saved my mom having to worry about it.

mm the bears are wiping like they do and then one goes oh it looks like some is left and then it start to lick lick the butthole mmm Haha and then the Male one starts to get a bear e re action Haha and then they keep eating the butt as I start to get really excited by this that would be mmm yeah so hot watching the bears clean eachother hafuck

I wonder if they all compare poops afterwards or do they just toss it and walk on

WHICH YOU USED TO LOVE NOW YOU’RE GOING TO ADORE
CHARMIN ULTRA, LESS IS MORE
CHA-CHA-CHA
CHARMIN!

MORE THAN THE REGULAR RIPPLE BRAND FOR SURE

I use wet wipes. You use less of them, and they leave your asshole cleaner. I learned that from Howard Stern.

They can also fuck up your plumbing, even if they say they're flushable.

Get Tim Treadwell's sister to release the audio of her brother getting eaten alive by a bear, and make a cute little cartoon to go along with the audio.

That's if you're shoving tons of them down the line. I use like three sheets every time I shit, and with my current diet, I only shit like every two or three days.

>I only shit like every two or three day
That's not healthy, you should be having bowel movement everyday.

gay men were having a poopdick epidemic and charmin took notice and targeted them

20 straight seconds of a man screaming in pain of shitting. Camera is in front of the stall. The man's legs are out of control. I mean for the first 5 seconds he has his pants around his ankles but by around 12 seconds in, his fucking pants and underwear have flown off because of how much his legs shook. Its just full on AAAAAAAAAAA type of screaming as well. Cuts to him awake on his bed as if he got anally raped. He is in typical pajamas but his eyes are red bloodshot and there are dark circles underneath his eyes. Keep the angle right on the ceiling looking down on him for a good 5 seconds, show him get up and go to the restroom. He see's his toilet paper roll that he has and he just grabs his bathroom mirror and starts screaming and shaking it. You can clearly see the veins on his neck and head just start popping out and his face immediately turning deep red. Camera cuts to the hallway where we can see him shaking the mirror violently but the mirror is blocked out by the wall. The man doesn't stop screaming. Fade into brand

Bidet master race

>Camera cuts to the hallway where we can see him shaking the mirror violently but the mirror is blocked out by the wall. The man doesn't stop screaming. Fade into brand
kino

My diet's fine, I'd even wager it's probably the best it's ever been. Vegetable heavy, lot of protein, supplements, low sugar, lot of fiber. Nice consistent logs that come out nice and smooth.

Holy shit that sounds great.

Why would someone wipe their ass with explosive toilet paper

do plebs realize the water doesnt actually go inside your ass? tbqh i cant shit in pulbic anmyore because i know how disgusting using toilet paper only feels now.

>do plebs realize the water doesnt actually go inside your ass?
You're using it wrong.

mj lookin like some ribs

at least you can talk

nice one

its not a enema you fag

If you want your ass to be clean, treat it like one. Wetting your ass without removing the feces just makes it worst. Go take a shower if you want that effect.

it's a metaphor

no retard tranny it washes the outside with water, every time i wipe after using it to dry there is no shit residue. go project your fetishes somewhere else.

>have the tool to completely remove feces inside of you making you feel lighter and cleaner
>proceeds to namecall because he lost the argument
Sad Autistic Retard

dilate

This is actually good

I always wash my ass in the shower/sink and stick a finger up there just to make sure. Toilet paper is a fucking ripoff. If you really need something baby wipes are where its at.

>another tranny attention whoring his fetishes

I'm a straight dude you fucking retard. Learn how to wash your ass you fucking disgusting faggot.

Its just fur, believe me

Attached: 1565841982152.jpg (255x191, 17K)

>This thread right now

Attached: source.gif (480x270, 269K)

>use Charmin
>wipe with nominal amount
>hand breaks through
>inadvertently three finger my virginal shit pipe
>now gay
>currently buy store brand asswipe
>because you don't need to wad it around your hand like a boxing glove

Go see a doctor that's not normal.
Unles you're american or some shit either way get better

Attached: 1554036064550.png (650x650, 43K)

>still using gobs of paper to ''clean'' your arse
Sometimes I forget how backwards America still really is. Enjoy your next mass shooting.

Attached: 2064401295-cadet-bidet.png (2000x2000, 1.57M)

>open on claymation movie premiere
>everybody is an ass
>tastefully though just asscheeks
>pooparazzi snapping pics and fans cheering as porcelain limo pulls up
>absolutely beautiful female ass steps out
>something is wrong
>asstress is mad
>helpful assistant ass rolls toilet paper over red carpet and into theater like bowling ball
>asstress makes a satisfied "Mm-hmm" sound and sashays towards theater
>cut to assistant drop of sweat disappears and we hear a "phew"

*roll out the white carpet*

Charmin. I'm fucking tired of those stupid, ass-obsessed bears. I don't let toilet paper control my fucking life. Their entire world revolves around toilet paper. I get that they are in a commercial, but ass-inspection? Really? That is a little too far. They pause football games to inspect asses. One commercial has them ready to change vacation plans over toilet paper. And speaking of traveling bears, one commercial features a TSA bear inspecting another's ass before boarding a plane. Even going so far as to commend the bear on packing Charmin ("You're cleaner than I thought," says the agent). Ass-inspection in the Charmin bear universe is so commonplace that it is enforced as a security measure.

Especially the one where one bear says "what a great view" and the other sticks his bare bear ass in her face and says "thanks to Charmin". It's fucking weird. Fuck those bears. I will never buy Charmin as long as those bears are waving their asses at me.

Fat kids eat bad food and have literally shitty hygiene. One has kid bears playing games and sitting for hours on a poorly wiped ass still caked with shit.

Left hand