>You know, at first I couldn’t piece it all together: why would user shoot himself halfway through the season finale of his Japanese cartoon? Now, I don’t watch too much tv. Can’t ever seem to find the time for it. But if user is anything like the missis when she’s watching wheel of fortune, he wouldn’t miss it for anything. That’s when I noticed the piss bottle. Now, the piss was still warm when we got there. That placed the time of death at no later than 9:30. Except, there was blood INSIDE the bottle. That doesn’t make sense, because you would expect blood all over the outside of a closed bottle, but how could any get on the inside? It’s impossible. Unless, of course, the bottle was open when user was shot. You shot user at 7:30, pissed in a nearby bottle of mountain dew, and heated it up in the microwave so it would still be warm when his mom got home from work. That’s why the plastic was a little melted around the cap. Now, that’s all circumstantial evidence. We can’t arrest you for that. But the suicide note. In the suicide note, user said that Rei was best girl. Now, would a man with a figurine of Misato, covered in his own cum, say Rei was best girl? It just didn’t sound like something he would say. But it’s something you said. That’s right, when we got your posting history from the FBI, we noticed you called Rei best girl on some website called 4channel. And that right there is the motive. You killed user, and you did it because he said your waifu was shit.
You know...
9.8/10
Excellent post
You should do one of these about Epstein
Good post
>Misatofag ded
>Reifag in prison
based
ASUKA FAGS RISE UP
good shit user
>tfw I try to Columbopost but I can’t get his mannerisms quite right
fan of columbo for 40 years, I've got this...
> ... thanks you Warden N'diaye, there's just one more thing if you don't mind.
> can you explain how Mr Epstein managed to commit suicide in his cell so shortly after being placed on suicide watch?
> oh... he was 'better', I see ma'me. Because you know, I even heard that some thought he didn't even try to commit suicide the first time.
> You'll get a kick out of this ma'me because I remembered you mentioned that you liked conspiracy theories... I heard someone say that the victim, Mr Epstein, even told you that someone was trying to kill him. Can you imagine that?
> well, I'll just write down that "he was better". That should take care of it. Except... that does make me wonder... why was he in a cell that had bunk beds?
> You know, I was watching this television show last week about prisons. Did you know that prison cells are designed to prevent inmates from committing suicide? No, really. They don't have electrical outlets or sharp edges. There's isn't even anything to hang a noose on.
> Oh that's right, he had the bunk beds. But ma'me, if he was in the cell by himself, why did he need a cell with bunk beds? Excuse me ma'me, these are the little details that I can't get out of my head.
> oh... he had a cellmate? Fine ma'me, did the cellmate report the suicide? Oh, he was removed from the cell a few hours earlier, I see.
> I guess it's just bad luck that the cameras weren't working. That really is inconvenient for the investigation.
> That and the guard who wasn't really a guard, who was supposed to watch the victim but wasn't watching the victim for some reason.
> but thank you ma'me, you've been a big help.
>so please help me get this straight sir. You're telling me that you were busy working at the time of the murder? Can you prove it? Perhaps a pay slip o-
I dont get paid
>Oh you work for free? That is most unusual sir if you don't mind me saying.
Jesus kek
top fucking kek
Nice
Error...just one more thing...you see...SNEED LOL XDDDD
> ma'me... ma'me... over here ma'me... it's me, Lt Columbo
> it's a good thing I ran into you ma'me because I heard some interesting information, and I knew you'd want to know about it.
> first let me say how sorry I was to hear that you got transferred and are no longer running that prison.
> anyway ma'me... did you know that Mr Epstein's cellmate was a police officer?
> no, really. He was a police officer who was arrested for corruption and murder.
> I thought you would find that interesting because, you know, people say that prisoners and police officers don't treat sex offenders very well in prison, and it just struck me as an odd coincidence that this particular sex offender would be put in a cell with a former police officer who murdered four people.
> well, maybe he would have stopped Mr Epstein from committing suicide. Though you know... the first time that Mr Epstein tried... you know, remember the time that he said someone was trying to kill him... well, that was the cell mate he had.
> you know, this reminds me of something I heard from a friend of mine. He's a detective with Scotland Yard. You know, the one in England? Anyway, he was telling me a story that happened over there that I think you will find VERY interesting...
> They had this prisoner, named Robinson. In the outside world he had a reputation for saying bad things about the Muslims. Do you know what happened? Someone the paperwork got mixed up, and he was sent to a prison where almost all of the prisoners were Muslim. And then they put him in a cell right next to the prison Mosque. Can you imagine that ma'me?
> Yes, that surprised me too. My friend said that they don't usually make that sort of mistake.
> And ma'am, there is one more thing... did you know that the ex-cop murderer was caught with a cell phone? Really... he was caught with a cell phone 3 days before Mr Epstein's first "suicide" attempt. I really hope he wasn't getting orders from someone
> I'm sorry ma'am, but I'm just going to say it.
> Mr Epstein was killed. You knew it was going to happen, and you turned your head the other way.
> You knew the cameras were broken, you knew the guards weren't trained
> You told the psychologist to let him go back to his cell, and then you had him killed.
> I'm sorry ma'me, Mr Epstein wasn't a nice man, but I'm a police officer and murder is against the law.
I've only seen 2 eps of Columbo. A few months ago I saw the one where the wine snob guy kills his brother, and the one where Dick Van Dyke kills his wife.
It was very comfy to watch these on a Sunday afternoon. Please tell me other good eps to watch, friends.
Goodbye Mrs. Columbo
watch all of them
you don't have anything better to do
Dick Van Dyke was the closest anyone got to getting away with it. He would have been on a plane to another country if he hadn't grabbed the guilty camera.
All of them. The only one that wasn't up to the usual standard was the episode where the nephew's wife was kidnapped right after the wedding.
MeTV has episodes every sunday night, and I think they're online (either netflix or Amazon)