Let me tell you something that might be a bit dangerous. I was raised in Japan. I was schooled in martial arts...

I peed a little in my pantaloons

Can Seagal fight at all or is it all just bullshit?

Hasn't he claimed to have taught special forces?

Name a single bad Seagal movie. I'll wait.

Protip: you can't.

Dont know but I wouldnt want to test it Ill tell you what

He definitely can fight, but in recent years he's switched to more gun play because he just cannot be bothered putting in the physical effort.

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At his peak surely he could fight better than the average man, but Jean Claude Van Damme chased him from party to party trying to get him to fight. Seagull ran away every time. So compared to real martial artists he's a joke.

I love how they couldn't quite line up the takes and Seagal also gets blurry when she disappears. Quality kinomatography.

Aikido is an aerobic exercise based on actual martial arts. It's not even a hyperbole, that was the intent when it was developed by it's pacifist creator. He's a master in fight-like exercise, which is good for movies or keeping fit but not for actual combat.

Based JCVD

He wrote the greatest film ever written, he gets a pass

>that hairline
Was he supposed to be Dracula?

WHOSE HAWT DAWG IZ ZISS?

They probably couldn't convince Seagal to stand in the same place twice, he told them he was a one take only master

fuck you seagal, based Tom Cruise would beat the shit out of you

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>Steven Seagal's movie career began with a bet between two Hollywood executives, one which claimed anyone could be made into a star with the proper marketing, and one who doubted it. To prove his point, the first executive decided to make a starring vehicle for his Aikido trainer, none other than Seagal himself. That was the low-budget crime thriller ABOVE THE LAW, who became an unexpected box office hit. And thus the legend was born.

>In ABOVE THE LAW, Seagal goes against the fictional Chicago mob, and the real-life Chicago mob was none too pleased. Seagal was then coerced by them into starring in a series of action movies that were actually part of an elaborate money laundering scheme. In the late 1990's, after experiencing a self-described "spiritual awakening" through Buddhism, Seagal reneged on making violent action movies for the mob and even testified against them... Only to go right back to making violent action movies, this time for the Serbian government.

>As Segal's star began to rise, he began to believe his own hype. At the height of his fame, he once claimed to be immune to a judo choke hold. To prove this claim, he instigated stuntman and martial arts legend Gene LeBell to choke him. LeBell obliged. As it turns out, Seagal was not, and probably still is not, immune to judo. LeBell choked Seagal until he passed out and soiled his pants.

>During a party at Sylvester Stallone's house in the 1996, Seagal once again ran his mouth, this time about being able to beat up Jean-Claude Van Damme, not knowing that Van Damme was also at the party. Van Damme, at the height of his cocaine addiction and nurturing a lot of rage over being blacklisted from major Hollywood pictures, challenged Seagal to settle the score with a one-on-one fight, but Seagal bailed, claiming it wouldn't be honorable. Seagal left for another party, but Van Damme followed him there and later to a nightclub fishing for a fight before Seagal finally managed to evade him.

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Maybe Putin had him give a speech to a Spetsnaz unit for PR at some point.

But wasn't Ken Wattanabe the last Samurai?

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what a fucking larper lmao, he is just one big target

>Young Jenny McCarthy auditioned to play Seagal's nice in UNDER SIEGE 2. Seagal asked her to take off her dress for the audition. When she saw the script, she realized that the film didn’t call for any nudity, and called Seagal out on it. He responded that the film involved "off-camera nudity."

>The role ultimately went to 17-year-old Katherine Heigl, who recounted how Seagal approached her on the last day of filming and mentioned having many girlfriends her age. When she pointed out that was illegal, Seagal simply answered "they don't seem to mind", while wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

>One day an executive walked into Seagal's trailer during filming for THE GLIMMER MAN and found Hollywood's reigning manly man weeping. "Oh, I'm reading this script," Seagal explained, "It's the most incredible script I've ever read", he said, still misty. "That's fantastic," the executive said, "Who wrote it?" Seagal didn't miss a beat. "I did."

>According to John Leguizamo in his autobiography, Steven Seagal physically attacked him during filming of EXECUTIVE DECISION, in an effort to scare the cast and crew. Leguizamo, who played one of the military men under Seagal's character's command, claimed that Seaga walked into the room barking orders at the actors as if they were really his subordinates. Assuming it to be a joke, Leguizamo laughed, but Seagal proved him wrong by elbowing him against a wall.

>In an interview with Huffpost Live, Tom Arnold claimed that Steven Seagal fell into the water while filming a scene for EXIT WOUNDS on his character's houseboat: Seagal had opted to shoot the scene without rehearsal and mistakenly exited through the wrong door, leading him to drop into the bay. He had to be pulled out by the crew.

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The story I heard is that he claimed to have a 100% reliable technique to defend against chokes. He asked LeBell to choke him and then promptly kneed him repeatedly in the groin. LeBell didn’t let go.

into the sun

Why was JCD blacklisted?

>americans actually think hitting on a 17 year old is bad

he wasn't. stupid action movies were in in the late 80s and early 90s when he got his success, then the industry changed and he never did. add delusions of grandeur and colossal amounts of coke and you get his idea that he was blacklisted

>Seagal is the number 1 pick for worst Saturday Night Live according to show's creator, Lorne Michaels. Seagal demanded that the cast perform sketches that Seagal himself had written rather than the material they already had. One of these masterful ideas, according to cast member Dana Carvey, involved Seagal playing a psychiatrist that talks to a rape victim, and while she tearfully explains her experience, Seagal would feel her up and attempt to rape her himself.

>Seagal is known to have a poor way with the women. In addition to the McCarthy incident, he also demanded sexual favors from Ray Charles' granddaughter Blair Robinson in exchange for a job, was accused to sexual assault by his ex-assistant Kayden Nguyen, drove his ex-wife Kelly LeBrock into hiding after their "ugly" divorce in 1994, and is said keep two Russian attendants who must be ready to service him at all times.

>Seagal is known to make wild, unverifiable claims about his admitedly murky past. He claims to be of Italian descent, although his mother has stated he's Jewish and Irish. He also insists being a direct apprentice of Aikido founder Morihei Ueshiba, who died in Japan in 1968, when Seagal was only 13-14.

>Seagal also claims to be an accomplished self-taugh blues musician, having picked it up while living in Detroit. He claims to be so skilled he can play without the need of a pick, and so talented he earned praise from legends B.B. King and Little Milton, who agreed that "that mutha ain't white" after seeing him play. It's worth noting the only time B.B. King and Little Milton were likely to be together in Detroit was in the late 1960's, when Segal was, by his own account, a 13-year-old drifter living and training in Japan.

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He was offered $9 million for a high-profile studio deal, but turned it down because he thought he could get $15 million like Jim Carrey.

He couldn't and never got major studio offers anymore.

>Speaking of Japan, Seagal insists that he trained CIA agents stationed there due to his "flawless martial arts and language skills", and even did "special works and special favors" for the U.S. government in the land of the rising Sun. His ex-wife Kelly LeBrock and the Central Intelligence Agency both denied this.

>Seagal also claims to have taught numerous UFC world champions including Anderson Silva and Lyoto Machida their signature moves (they deny it), fought the Yakuza with the help of the American mafia, being one of the world's foremost experts on swords and regularly retained by auction houses for authentification purposes, and being the reincarnation (tulku) of Tibetan treasure revealer Chungdrag Dorje, which would make him as a holy man in Buddhist culture.

>Also, a "spirit dog" once alerted him that his dojo was about to catch fire, allowing Seagal to save his possessions from the raging blaze.

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Only faggots from the coast do.

Aren't agents supposed to stop actors from self-destructing like that?

What a lad.

>ITT literally weaponized autism.

>also claims to have taught numerous UFC world champions including Anderson Silva and Lyoto Machida their signature moves
It’s worse than that. He claims he invented and taught them the push kick. One of the most basic kicks in all martial arts.

Didn't this faggot LARP as a Navy Seal? He should be charged with stolen valor.

We must all remember the better times, like Under Siege, and the alike.

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>a "spirit dog" once alerted him that his dojo was about to catch fire, allowing Seagal to save his possessions from the raging blaze.
Why didn't he just put out the fire

Isn't it obvious? The spirit dog didn't tell him to.