MATCH OF THE DAY THREAD

these commentators lmao
'might be it comes off Maguire'

ye da's cum

piss

just started night shift so I'm on the woffee

poo

Going to cambodia lad?

Tea for me

was at work until 7.45pm, didn't get home until an hour after that, so I've just finished my curry and I'm on my second hobgoblin now
toiling again on the morrow though so I'll be in bed by midnight :(

i have a tiny quantity of jagermeister

Do you work?

Which man utd players are jumping ship when they finish 7th?
Paulaner

Nah, sex is why I've ended up in a cold bedsit, alone at 34 years old, broke and miserable. I never want to go near a woman again.

Be careful

Yeah, im entitled to my pension in 16 years, I'll cash that in then make the move away from Birmingham

what's your job?
don't have a job, me, bennies came in on Thursday so gave myself a well deserved treat today. Don't drink though just got a curry in

Yeah work 6 days a week, child support leaves me with £6 a day, neighbour gave my some bread, tea bags. Little things like this just help. I got a kettle and toaster from a charity so i can have some tea and toast whilst watching Utd lose to Everton lol

iwobi > traore

Has lampard sacked big dunk? Even ancelotti kept him around

larp

it's a menial job that pays barely above minimum wage, I do more than I should for my pay grade at times but I also get to take the piss with breaks
like today I had no supervisor, no manager, so I went to sleep for an hour and then read my book for an hour and a half

Agua.

Lost 6½ stone since before Christmas. I do miss the Saturday nights where I'd get a bucket of KFC and a load of meaty nibbles from Lidl and a crate so much though

Pretty sure you can get child support suspended or lowered if youre a pauper like yourself

why don't pundits on bbc call players out? they don't do it often enough on sky sports either. it irritates the shit out of me when i see all of these cunts at man u stealing millions for doing absolutely fuck all

*Grabs all your lose skin *
Waheey

Child support does not leave anyone with £6 a day.

Even if you get a Deductions from Earnings Order against you which takes a fixed amount each month based on your last P60, there's a threshold where they don't take it all if you're not earning enough.

I just want Arsenal and Everton to suffer
Is that too much to ask?

It is kind of funny.

Fortunately not yet, not looking forward to it but I'll live with it

Why the fuck would i larp about this.

Im gonna. Need to get the citizens advice involved. Im broken, literally, emotionally, financially broken.

I needed that money desperately

Don't worry lads, I love paying tax, so I can fund you useless cunts.
Please don't end your miserable little lives. Ideally, have a bunch of retarded kids, so I can pay for them as well. Cheers.

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My point was more that they're not suffering enough. I want more suffering.

Yes, i have a DEO, but before that was in effect, i had direct debits for surgeries ive had, i got attacked so needed braces for my teeth, and eye laser surgery. Child support came out the blue, so i havent budgeted for it. Birmingham is violent, people fight for fun here. I cant fight.

What do you want me to say user

>get a nice pay rise
>student loan goes way up in proportion

Annoying, I've got an alright job but I didn't actually graduate lel

wanna fund one more migrant mate?

getting my first proper bonus at work this month lads, £15k. what do spend on

>one more

Bring your family as well, and if you're not related, just lie, Britain wont check because that would be racism

>arse anal

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Wouldnt you rather go to germany because all the Turkish speakers?

How bad does it eat into your wages? Isn't it like a tiny amount of your personal allowance a month?

>£15k

Fuck. How did you get so rich. I dont make that net in a year

Me? Uwu

Lying.

>turk gay

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How do forty-plus autistic NEETs get jobs? I'd love to stop living off your taxes via my mum's pension but I am apparently unemployable.

What state are your kidneys in?

nein

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Global index tracker ETF inside an S&S ISA.

Foot like a howitzer

I can't help you get a job.

All I can say is, please don't kill yourself. That would be terrible. That isn't the solution at all, excluding logic, that is.

Fine as far as I know, why?

Sell one

If we only went by logic we'd be robots mate

>tfw my money just sits in the bank and live at home still
>probably should have bought a house and moved out. I've probably gone from paying cash to having to get a mortgage for like £50k which a bank probably won't do as they are just nice people who lend money

outbound sales probably

>All I can say is, please don't kill yourself. That would be terrible. That isn't the solution at all, excluding logic, that is.
I'm not sure but I think you're being sarcastic.

>be 25
>wasted my time completely since 16

dafuq do I do? I feel so bad about how much time I've wasted, I have childhood friends who have kids now and I still haven't even got a career

You can get a 50 grand mortgage, but probably over 10 years rather than 25

Life is what you make it son. Ive travelled, I've loved many women, and they loved me back. Made money, lost it, made it again, lost it again.

I always said yes. Say yes user. Say you will live your life, and today is the day you turn over a new page!

Fancy a bum?

fuck off

ERROR ERROR I AM PROGRAMMED TO INFORM PARASITE TO NOT KILL SELF

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What happened to Danny Ings?

Going on then, bend over and I'll get the lube

Someone isnt in their happy place

So, how about that match of the day..........?

Will house prices ever go down? How can they rise so much to the point millions can't get a home in their own cities and carry on like that? I mean apparently the banks are buying them up but still

son is japanese

You will own nothing and be happy. You will rent everything. Clothes, gadgets, video games.

Even your own money wont belong to you, it will be programmable money that will expire if you dont spend it in time

Isn't it the Conservatives goal to make sure price houses stay high. Home owners vote tory to protect their investment

>programmable money that will expire if you dont spend it in time
BOOMER ALERT
central bank digital currencies. bet you have to use a phone with two hands

>We didn't have enough Ramadam breaks

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>I always said yes. Say yes user. Say you will live your life, and today is the day you turn over a new page!
Before I can say yes, someone has to ask. But no-one ever asks.

You lazy fucker, wait 2 secs. I hope you stub your toe

Il ask x

>Why the fuck would i larp about this.
Why do you think this is the place to vent about it? Go to /int/ or /r9k/.

they will never come down, if you don't have a house to inherit you'll have to get a flat up norf

Lazy shill.

To everyone who isnt a shill, this will be the string attached to UBI

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>up north
You mean wales

People asked user. Stop responding, I'll stop talking.

You psychopath, im going through the worst time, and you want to shit up the thread with complaints. Maybe one user will not make my mistake and trust anything that comes attached to a vagina