What would modern Seinfeld be like?

Kramer becomes a huge soundcloud rapping success.

JERY

jgpd

kramer says nigger but identifies as a transnigger so it's okay and he goes on to have a prolific acting and standup career

I just don't see the appeal in avocado on toast.

You know its a fruit jerry?

Kramer already had an episode where he had his own transportation startup

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>Kramer and Newman do salvia.
>George accidentally a trap, and liked it.
>Elaine becomes a camwhore and her boss acts creepy because he jerks off to her every night.
>Jerry forgets the code on his iPad before he sets up the thumb print unlock.

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ok, now this is epic

LOL they just made George into Stav from Cum Town

Newman keeps spamming Jerry's comfy Superman threads.

>the swipe, such a simple but marvelous thing...
>fantastic
>what were people doing before we invented the swipe?!
>running around like chickens with our heads cut off...

Kramer buys bbw-chan

>tfw you realize this is a millenial meme

elaine menopause

Hello, Yea Forums.

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except for the ipad this is peak millennial. you're mistaking 2008 for 2018

Hello, Newma... uh, I mean Newmina.

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I don't remember trannies being around in 2008.

WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH _____ ?

>traps
>trannies

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>George, you typed OUT the tweet but you didn't TWEET the tweet!
>How could I not tweet the tweet? I always tweet the tweet, Jerry!
>I don't knoooow!
>I DIDN'T TWEET THE TWEET! I DIDN'T TWEET THE TWEET!

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They're the same thing unless you're gay.

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those actually aren’t terrible

The gang all gets together to watch a couple of episodes of "Seinfeld" an laugh at how relatable it is.

Watched the first season. It was alright. Does it get better or worse from here? Obviously I havent even gotten to any of the iconic episodes, but what am I in for with the rest of the series?

Does anyone actually look like this?

>Kramer convinces Newman to lend him $5,000 to buy bitcoin
>Jerry gives an uber eats driver 1 star and no tip, sees him the next day while getting coffee
>Elaine becomes involved with an attractive programmer, but is conflicted when she finds out his "secret" project is a weeb game
>George makes a nemesis on an online forum

First two seasons don't seem particularly special. I'd say season 4-6 is the sweet spot where you really get the characters and plots at their peak. The later seasons are fine, but some of the episodes are less inspired

>Kramer becomes obsessed with capeshit movies after a three day long marathon of them, and plans on making his own capeshit movie.
>Jerry, upon hearing Kramer's ravings about them, tries to recapture his youth and find some old Superman comics that he used to have.
>George in the meanwhile is convinced a girl on Tinder is catfishing him - Elaine is the one catfishing him with a fake Tinder because she finds his frequent rage over it to be hilarious.
>Kramer realizes he can't really get the rights to any major superhero, so he goes into the public domain and decides to make a movie adaptation of Stardust the Super Wizard.
>Jerry still can't find his comics (Which he marked with a 'J' to confirm they're his), assuming they were in his closet, but they aren't - but he does find a hole in the closet, and assumes it's rats or some shit.
>Time skip, Kramer's made the movie and intends on showing it at the upcoming film festival.
>George is still upset over being catfished, but can't break it off with her because he's this desperate. Elaine has taken to finding amateur nudes online of other girls and sending them to him, at one point doing it while he's in a meeting at work and making him nearly lose his shit. She finally "agrees" to go on a date with him to the local film festival, and says to look for a girl holding a rose. She then enlists a fat friend of hers to go.
>Jerry attends the film festival because he wants to support his friend, while trying to avoid interacting with the various hipsters and their own pretentious art projects, or complaining about them.
>George encounters his "date" there, has a breakdown.
>Movie opens with Kramer, dressed as Stardust, yelling "YOU ARE NOW IN THE POWER OF STARDUST. I AM THE ONE TRUE HERO." as he rips apart a bunch of Superman comics with a "J" crudely drawn on them.
>Jerry stares in disbelief, cue slap bass.

>George keeps accidentally walking into plotlines of Full House. This culminates in him getting tickets to a movie after a heartwarming lecture from Danny Tanner on the meaning of sharing and friendship, portrayed by Bob Saget. Upon finding his seat in the theater and heading to it, he accidentally bumps into Bob Saget and knocks his popcorn over. As George tries to apologize, thinking it's the same nice man who gave him tickets earlier, Saget calls him a dumbass.

Similar to what wrote, 1 and 2 they are just finding their footing, 3-7 is all peak of the show, 8 is ok but starts to fade, 9 is mostly dreadful.

Jerry Jerry jo Jerry
Banana wana bo berry
Fee fi fo ferry
Jeeeerry

elaine gets raped... kinda but not really

Bee Movie but real and George is a egg and Kramer has a hentai adventure. Elaine Benis hahahaha

Yeah I really liked that last one too

J: so how'd your date go last night?
E: well it's was alright...until he GAPED ME
J: he GAPED you?
E: YEP! FULL GAPE
J: what does that even mean?
E: well you know how a sick loses its elastic... so...
K: *busts in door
J: Elaine got gaped on the first date!
K: WOAH MOMMA (squeaks)he gaped you...?
E: OH YEAH FULL GAPE
K: oh jerry this is bad, was it....behind?
E: whadda ya think Vicki, now I walk like John Wayne and I have that peterman proposal! I smell like gape jerry!
J: gape smell?
E: gape smell!

Lots of Arabs and Turks in Europe dress like zoomer Kramer

Sounds like the simpsons

post zooms then

(at morning meeting surrounded by coworkers)
Peterman: Elaine what IS that intoxicating aroma?
E: Well, uh... Mr. Peterman, you see... last night, I... I got...
P: Yeees, Elaine, out with it. What happened?
E: Well, sir... I was... g-gaped...
P: What was that? You need to speak up, Elaine.
E: G-gaped...?
P: What?!
E: GAPED! GAPED! I WAS GAPED! ALRIGHT?!

Hacker George would actually be kino

>Kramer gets accused of rape and shows up to the courthouse only to find all the women accusing him aren't his actual victims

>"You're homeless!"

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Burger here, he looks exactly like my mental image of a turk

Kramer rapes george

That's millennials, not zoomers. 25-35 year old hipsters look like that, not high schoolers.

>*bzzzzz* it's me!
>Jerry: (to intercom) come on up!
>Kramer: Who's that?
>J: Ohh it's this transwoman I'm dating, Jessica. Used to be Jason.
K: You mean he...?
J: Uh huh.
K: ...and then she...?
J: Cut it clean off.
K: Yyyyyowza...
J: Hey listen, Kramer, can you do me a favor? See Jessica's pretty sensitive about her... ya know, "passability", so you mind not saying anything about it?
K: Yeah no problem, pal.
(Jessica walks in)
Jessica: Hi Jerry!
J: Jessica, hiii! Hey this is my next door neighbor Kramer!
Jessica: Nice to meet you!
K: Uh yeah nice to meet y... (looks at Jessica) WHOA MAMA!
J: Kramerrr....
K: Uh yeah, you look like a man.
Jessica: What?!
K: Yeah me and Jerry were just talking about it.
J: KRAMER!!!
K: (leaving, closing door behind him) Good luck, buddy. A-ha, you're gonna need it.

Kramer runs a startup

P: ahhhh, like the scent of the Peruvian din god ceremony where we raped and raped countless of their finest youth... al the while my head staying cool due to my J Peterman boar hide wide brim jungle hat, fleeced with antiperspirant jungle herbs and just dashing enough to rape a village in style, yessss those are the gaping scents I recall from days long gone

based

I like how some seething millennial edited this pic to say zoomers when originally it said millennials.

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The pumpkin spice fad has been pretty dead the last few autumns, but the part about George finding himself in a penis enlargement ad sounds like a really fun episode desu

Peterman: Speaking of which, Elaine, I need to see you in my office later...
(next scene: jerry's apartment)
Jerry: You got gaped by Peterman?!
Elaine: uhhhhh that's right...
George: Ya know I've never gaped. Never gaped anybody. Just ehhhh never got around to it.
Jerry: You probably GOOPED!

[George and Jerry are in Jerry's apartment, on the couch looking at their iPads]
>George: "Have you seen this new baneposting meme?"
>Jerry: "Again with the memes, George?"
>George: "Well, have you seen it or not?"
>Jerry: "No, George, I haven't seen it."
>George: "It's ridiculous, Jerry! All they do is write 'you're a big guy' and 'for you' over and over!"
>Jerry: "George, you know I'm not really into the meme stuff. I don't meme. I'm not a memer!"
>George: "Well, this meme has gone too far! Too far, Jerry! And I'm going to do something about it!"
>[Kramer bursts into the room]
>Kramer: "What's George yelling about?"
>Jerry: "He doesn't like the new baneposting meme."
>Kramer: "Oh ho ho ho! Looks like we got ourselves a hothead!"
>George: "That's it! I've had it!"
>[George storms out of the apartment]

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>Ellaine accidentally swipes right

just put it in rice jerry, put it in rice overnight