The ride actually never ends

yes

When’s the last time Disney besides Pixar made a movie that wasn’t a sequel, reboot, or comic adaptation?
Zootopia?
Hell even Pixar makes mostly sequels

>mfw culkin comes back as old man marley

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Sigh....you made me do this
>Macaulay Culkin is now a black kid
>He's always alone because his parents are obvious crack heads
>He has no front door but an aluminum wedge to keep the bugs out
>he has only one gun but has to shoot out sideways for it to work
>Joe Pesci and the other guy are now two even blacker black men trying to get in go butt fuck each other
>Black McCauley puts up a Help Wanted sign and immediately scares off the black men
>He pours afro hair creme on the stoop to make them slip and they die slowly istead of calling 911 like normal people
>Neighborhood can collector who rifes2 a rusty bike passes by and robs the dying thieves

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Sounds like kino

>First The Irishman
>Now this

Is Pesci actually back?

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Why would they make original content when nostalgiafags will go in droves to see horrible bullshit like the Lion King remake?

>reimagining's

They mean gender and race swapping don't they?

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>undead Marv

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The last mainstream 2D Disney animation was in 2009

Directed by James Rolfe

His wife wouldn't let him make a movie with a white leading man.

Is this what society has devolved to? Have we completely run out of ideas? If so then I suggest we launch all the nukes now because if mankind won't come up with new ideas or create new art it has no reason to exist.

There are new ideas, it's just that bugmen and the suits don't like risk, so they keep recycling swill to keep the unwashed masses occupied

>he's old enough to buy guns
>string tied to the door attached to 20 shotguns
>BOOM!
And they all died. The end.

PS: vote for gun control

>what if I were to tell you I was going to make a worse version of an existing movie
>would that be something you'd be interested in?

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>implying there haven't been 5 or 6 home alone movies
Whatever.

Kevin lives in Chicago. Guns are illegal there.

Have Macaulay Culkin reprise his starring role and turn it into a dark stoner comedy. Make Kevin a loopy eccentric, forever altered by the weird and traumatic events of his childhood. Maybe bring back Pesci and Stern, now fucked up and full of hatred after years of institutionalization.

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Why is Disney criatively bankrupt? What happened?

I wanna fugg Mac!

smart female black girl outwitting white aryan thieves who are trying to steal her mother prototype cold fusion plans

>secret clause in contract forbids any future episodes with redlettermedia

The Jews fear the Stoklasa

I wonder how many STDs he caught from MJ.

Based pedophile

This. Kinda hard to care about them ruining Home Alone in a universe where Bone Alone exists (although that wasn’t an official part of the series and made by the dudes who make those Transmorphers movies).

he's hideous

I would literally let Mac give me aids I do not give a FUCK

Home Alone has been raped like 4 times already. Disney will make a decent remake that won’t touch the original but will at least be better than most of the other ones. Not a high bar. But Disney is the definition of satisfying mediocrity to the general audience.

They own so many properties that they don’t have to be creative anymore.

3 was decent , after that, forget about it.

was 3 the one with the stupid toy car and the qt russian fem-robber?

First thing I thought of too. Genius 5 year black daughter of 2 BLM lawyer/doctors protects the house from incompetent aryan kkk members who embarrass themselves with their weak physiques and near retard level iqs, while her parents are away on a trip to tutor nasa on the finer points of engineering

It doesn’t have to work. They can clearly shit out literally anything and it’ll still make a billion.

It’s just capitalism.

Making New/original/good content isn’t a sustainable business model. Just like curing patients isn’t a sustainable business model.

Kevin will be black
It will get a 96% on Rotten Tomatoes

based.

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Yeah and Scarlett Johanson.

This style of harmless joke racism feels almost nostalgic

The original 1950 Cheaper By the Dozen is comfy kino that makes me feel born in the wrong generation.

I haven't watched Home Alone since I was 7
I'm thinking of pirating it to watch it tonight

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If it makes you feel any better, life was never like it was in the movies

I'm perfectly ok with this as long as it ends in fucking.

No.

Wait until Christmas.

Moana?
But you have a point, it's mostly the same shit over and over again since Walt died.

They'll probably more original stuff at D23, the live action reboots will never stop tho.

The average moving going audience is retarded as fuck and these remakes will easily break a billion.

What’s the one movie or series that would make you flip out in anger if you ever heard plans to make a shitty reboot?
For me it would be the Goonies

What they really need isn't a new kid. They need a new Malvin

Back to the Future

Yes, but the villains are still white guys so it's still respecting the originals.

Black kid gets home invaded by racist white people. I can see it now.

Disney will totally do this.

Home Alone but the burglars are black

See, I feel that way too. But it’s one of those franchises that really could work today if rebooted. It just needs a really competent team doing it that isn’t going to shit all over the original. It needs to also be different enough. But a modern day kid going back to the 80s or 90s is a great concept. It just needs to be respected and not done as a quick cash grab. I think the original might be the most satisfying and complete movie experience ever but I’m not entirely opposed to the idea of a reboot.

>implying all these absolute shit-steps Disney has been making in the past decade, won't be utter cringe to people only 20 years from now

I wouldn't even doubt it if someone told me their stock would plummet in two decades, just because kids and teens of the coming age were able to watch both the classic versions and shitty reboot versions of these franchises with fresh eyes and develop a collective feeling of no confidence against the Mouse and Mouse products. Fucking morons in the present would say things like "ha not likely," but those same kinds of morons probably thought shit like shitty 70's disco and vomit green formica kitchens would be around forever.

>During today’s call, Iger said Alan Horn and Alan Bergman are “redefining” the Fox film efforts to ensure the “same standards and the same creative discipline” are in place. He said Disney is taking Fox in “a whole new direction,” with an “all-new development slate” of titles for theatrical release as well as Hulu and Disney+.

It's over, bros

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Well, who could blame them at this point.

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Was gonna say this. He'd have to go the south side to get them. Oh, hijinks he would get into

Fuck.

>Endgame
>Captain Marvel
>Lion King
>Toy Story 4
>still lose US$170 million

fucking how

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>implying this isn't part of their plan to turn Fox into Disney Jr
>implying they didn't abandon Dark Phoenix to die for the same reason

It's actually because of the Star Wars parks and merchandise, but they won't admit it

He warned us

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A ton of movies you remember as a kid are just remakes of older movies from way before your time. This isnt anything new. Everything old gets re-purposed for a new generation.

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The fact that anything with a Disney logo is guaranteed to make money
Disney just made a billion dollars with what was little more than a shot for shot remake of a movie that came out 25 years ago

>I’m not entirely opposed to the idea of a reboot.
>faggot zoomer goes to the 80s to dab on his parents
>jokes about smartphones and fortnite
>sequel zoomer goes to a future where it's literally just fortnite irl

3 made me want to jump into a freezing cold pool.

most of them are worse, so what's your point

That can't be real
Maybe those are the adjusted numbers that come out after their accountants shuffle everything around for tax purposes, but how can they post a loss when they have movies that have collectively made over $4 Billion

My point is this isnt some sign of society breaking down. It's always been like this. You're just cynical.

Hollywood is an industry full of people that work for money and they make movies that sell. Older movies are an ez way to do that.

That's a good point, the crux of BttF's appeal was the clash of the semi-grounded 80s mindset versus the squeaky clean, Leave it to Beaver 50s stuff, but there's nothing like that you can really conjure up for the modern day
Attitudes haven't really changed, aside from more people becoming petty assholes and getting needlessly worked up by the internet; The only thing the protagonist would have over people of the 80s is knowing which tech startups are going to be worth billions. What differentiates a teenager of today from one of 30 years ago besides clothes and music? Pretending to have depression? Shitty facebook memes?

The Critic predicted this-

youtu.be/jRQCNfmhMpo

>Developing reimaginings
So is this Hollywood code for most if not all the white characters will be raceswapped to blacks?

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Home Alone remake where the burglars are female and wear sleeveless tops.

They also capture Kevin for a longer period.

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Society is artistically bankrupt. Studios are just re-doing 1965-1995 now. Every "amazing, original" film I've seen in the past 15 years is derivative of something that already exists. Film is dead, basically.

Disney+ Developing Re imaginings of Home Alone, Cheaper By The Dozen & More

I am p sure I know how Disney defines Re-imagining

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Disney accounting always post huge numbers, even if it was a technical loss. Dont want to dissapoint those investors.

home alone doesn't work with smart phones

this is the movie we need in this post trump america

we have to leave the 20th century behind, specially when it comes to pop culture, this shit is now a tumor

The simple answer would be that they spent more than 4bill in production, salery, and advertisement.

they are doing this with ryan Reynolds instead

Disney CEO Bob Iger is the Voltron of Jews. He buys mega IP like they are arms and legs, then splits the Earth with David Geffen, Rothschild and Netanyahu. You goys haven't seen nothing yet.

Culkin reprises Kevin.

He's now a father.

Of an adopted adorable black girl.

He's married.

Surprise: to Elijah Wood.

Wood's teen son from a previous marriage doesn't get along too well with Culkin.

The holidays are how you say, complicated.

Kevin's mom, reprised by O'Hara is still mourning her husband, who died in 9/11.

Fuller visits the night before their plane leaves. He has a pet chimp named Einstein. In the rush to the plane, the chimp is mistaken for the black daughter, her name is Keisha.

The robbers are played by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. Damon plays the Stern proxy. It's revealed they are the sons of the Wet Bandits.

The only way a new home alone could work is if Macaulay culkin played an older kevin

GO TO BUNNY EARS DOT COM GOY
YOUR FAVORITE INTERNET FRIENDS LOVE IT

So the beautiful thing about this world is agency. It's freedom. You can choose to watch this shit. You can choose not to. What kind of choice do you want to make?

Disney understands this. They know some people will Choose Disney. Enough people that the bottom line makes selling your collective reputation as a company that cares about art attractive. It's not even Faustian, because people are now too stupid to give a shit. They are just responding to reality. People love these rehashes. They are the people that loved the movie about memes.

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Has western media just completely abandoned creativity and turned to milking old properties and nostalgia for cash?

Jesus fucking Christ Cyke looks awful in that.

Based /bleached/ opinion

>I am p sure I know how Disney defines Re-imagining

I hope Disney puts a digital Michael Jackson in any re-imagined Homes Alones

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They actually did admit that domestic spending in parks went down because of overcompensation in trying to control Star Wars crowds and general rising prices. Ironically though, they cited high attendance figures at Disneyland Paris as actually picking up Star Wars's slack.

Disney doesn't have the balls to make it work. If they even tried the premise at all they'd castrate it and remove anything intriguing.

Disney will cast all girls.

Just choose someone sexy then i'll be fine.

starring mj as his friendly ghost sidekick

In the remake it will be ICE officers trying to get into the house of a Mexican migrant child thats home alone while his parents are out working....

yep

I had a dream that the Amazon Lord of the Rings series came out and all the marketing around it was a lie to hype up the real show, which is a meta story about the team trying to top the film trilogy. The creative team is a mix of people who worked on the movie and new people clashing about how to handle it, meanwhile friendships between the actors from the movies get strained because some like Sean Astin reprised their roles while others like Elijah Wood stayed out of it. Eventually some of the people working on the show find out that not far from their soundstage Disney is filming remakes of the original Star Wars trilogy. They all agree that that is a horrible idea, which leads some of them to question whether they would be letting people down by remaining LotR. Sean Astin leaks the info to Elijah Wood anonymously since they're not on speaking terms which leads Elijah to recruit Mark Hamill to help sabotage both studios' remakes.

It was kind of a mess since it was a dream after all, but I woke up sad that no studio would have the balls to make a series criticizing current Hollywood like that. At least not until years from now when the remake trend might be behind us.

Wow I'm retarded this was supposed to be a reply to

Jesus note to self don't phonepost like a faggot. Both in response to

>It's always been like this.
yes it's ALWAYS been this way, where the four highest grossing films of the year are owned by the same country, and they're all reboots or sequels

it's ALWAYS been this way, where 12 of the 15 highest grossing films of all time are sequels, reboots, or based on existing IPs
>this isnt some sign of society breaking down
sure. but movies are as dead as they'll ever be. you would have to be a blind deaf and mute retard, literally sticking your fingers in your ears and screeching like a chimp, to think otherwise

>same country
same company fuck

but this is good

they've already taken everything. i guess some horrible worst case scenario would be spongebob getting taken the air for a while and rebooted with some horrid nu-animation style like pic related or those soi filled tumblr artist avatars

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>Home Alone reboot
...one day, a young Palestinian girl is left all alone when

A-user I...
wegotthiscovered.com/movies/goonies-2-apparently-pitched-produced/

>vote for gun control
So instead of killing the burglars/potential murderers in your 20 shotgun scenario, you vote that it’s better to disarm him, allowing the burglars/murderers to rob and kill him instead?
You should actually pitch this everywhere, you’d probably win an Oscar

Really relieved The Lost Boys sequel The Lost Girls was never made using a few returning cast. Don't care about the planned CW (((series))). And I know two direct to video sequels were made, both pathetic, but they were too low profile to be offensive.

>PS: vote for gun control

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Hopefully Disney+ will crush and burn soon after Netflix goes bankrupt.
At least one can dream.