Lose 35 pound by tomorrow

Lose 35 pound by tomorrow.

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could probably do it with some laxatives

I'm a fat bastard. I could chop a leg off at the knee and probably make the cut.

It'll be inice water weight but okay

*throw wallet in river*
done
t.bong

Guys how do I stop eating junk food I'm a super picky eater and eat junk food every day and I'm super fat plz help

Or else?

just bee yourself

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I wouldn't feel bad about throwing away monopoly money either

You are a dopamine addict, consider a dopamine fast to get you started.

>weight loss doctor
>is fat
how does he get away with it?

I-it's all water weight ha ha,


please don't kick me off the program

>makes patients lose weight before he gives them weight loss surgery
The man is a fraud.

I used to be very picky when I was younger but I did the "bang your head on the wall" method and kept eating stuff I didn't like until I liked it. Now I can eat practically anything. I also managed to build a tolerance to spicy food by torturing myself with it for several days in a row.

how the fuck can you consider yourself a picky eater AND eat junk food?

>be choosy about food
>choose junk food
Are you a non-native English speaker? I'm not trying to be a dick; I just don't see what the disconnect is.

Unironically go to /fit/ and check the /fat/ thread.

Would it count if you cut off your leg?
I mean it would show dedication, plus you were too fat to walk anyway

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It’s not for any medical reason, it’s to ensure the patient is actually committed to losing weight. If they go around thinking surgery is the silver bullet they’ll be back in the clinic next year.

>Eugenia missed her latest appointment with Dr Now and hasn't been attending therapy sessions. At her last weigh in she had gained 40 pounds.

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>It’s not for any medical reason, it’s to ensure the patient is actually committed to losing weight
It's both. If you give bypass surgery to a walrus who is used to eating 10,000 calories a day, they'll keep doing that and tear their stitches.

most picky eaters I know have some particular junk food that they're willing to eat; usually chicken nuggets, for some reason picky eaters are all okay with chicken nuggets/tenders

n-no bully

Replace the dopamine rush you get from shitty food with the dopamine rush stims give you and you'll thin out in no time

Junk food tastes good, retard

everyone likes fried chicken

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Just pay someone to strap you down and beat you severely to begin with, then begin starving you. after a few days with no food and only water have them waterboard you with urine. Then have them allow you a small plate of broccoli per day. If you refuse have them bury you alive in a coffin with a breathing/feeding tube for a week (for more broccoli and urine). repeat this process for several years, or until you're on the brink of starvation. Viola, you're cured.

monica sounds much more based than the disgusting amerisharts who literally just can't control their weight and reach that level unintentionally