I live my life a quarter pounder at a time. For those ten seconds or less... I'm free

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Wow, why are Americans like this?

fucking Amerifats at it again

I was thinking about this today

why is getting fat the highest aspiration for americans

dreams are fucking amazing desu

i had a dream where i was a wh40k space marine except my weapon was a lengthened version of a frying pan, like pic related. i think i wrote warrior poetry too

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Quarter pounders are family

I can go from looking like pic in OP to looking good in a vest or a t-shit in 7-8 months without roids so it entirely possible for him to look a lot better than me with roids.
He is always wearing something in the movies so it is entirely possible that he never had abs.

Is this a real pic?

>They say most of your brain shuts down during cryo-sleep. All but the primitive side, the animal side. No wonder I'm still awake...

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You can have any sandwich you want, as long as it's a quarter pounder

God damn, I haven't seen this in ages

He has the body of a baby.

He really threw himself into his D&D play during this period, so stop bullying based Vin he tries his best.

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no you're hallucinating

>what is photoshop

>typing all that out for a bad joke
yikes

One time I had a terrifying nightmare where it was dark and rainy and I was waiting at the bus stop. Suddenly an olive green Volkswagen beetle tears around the corner up ahead and screeches to a halt in front of me. Out of the window pops Gary Busey's head looking even crazier than usual and starts yelling at me "GET IN THE CAR NOW! GET IN THE FUCKING CAAAARRRR!!" so I panicked and ran. Then I woke up in cold sweat.

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More like The Last Sandwich Hunter

God, what a shitty movie that was.
>friend dies
>promptly play immortal in witchcraft movie
>hamfisted.png

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>being a fuckin mentally retarded adhd zoomer who just sits around taking fucking pills all day and hallucinating in the corner of your room
Fuck you

Don't you mean hamsandwiched

Good god, did him and Hemsworth quit roids at the same time?

I once had a dream in highschool sam hyde challenged me to a warcraft 3 match over a snickers bar and I got smashed because he tower rushed me like a cheap loser and I was so mad and he just kept laughing harder and harder and it pissed me the fuck off and then I woke up and I was sweating and still visibly fucking angry

Fuck you I liked it.

If only they would make the new riddick movie good...

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Do you also enjoy hemorrhoids? Doing the Willis jig all over broken glass? Chipping your tooth on a missed pebble while eating a bowl of bean soup?

get some help

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How can this piece of shit story be this funny

Nicely done sir.

Fuck you! I liked it.

he looks like he eats sausage gravy pizza

I don't have friends...

It was fine until the retarded betrayal at the end. Any film with My Cocaine is automatically kino.

Holy fuck I can't breathe

He needs to realize he's not really an actor and more just a clog in a couple of successful franchises.

I had a dream where I was being hunted by a squad of soldiers in the woods ( i was a soldier too) then I shot at them and the first 3 went down really easy but then the later ones took like a half a mag from my RPK to die, then I ran away from their ambush and just hid prone in a really shitty way when they walked past and immediately got caught and shot two of them and then the third one ran after me into some really small shack on stilts in the middle of a forest clearing, I remember how I was trying to smack them repeatedly with the butt of my rifle and they were trying to say something to me and I was just screaming "Cant you see im trying to kill you here?" Then I woke up

>Any film with My Cocaine is automatically kino.
Jaws: The Revenge?!

>how do I get a body like that?

>you gotta eat a few people

tfw you just looked in the mirror and realized you're a fat old white guy.

Elîjåh Wòód?

Elijah Wood.