ITT movies so bad they’re hard to finish

>mfw they tried to end it on a cliffhanger

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>so fucking bad Connery quit acting in its wake
Such a damn shame, the comic is so good too.
>we'll never get to see this scene or the one leading up to it

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This shit always confused me. Why does he suddenly start to bleed everywhere?

it's the Invisible Man's blood all over him from when he raped him
it's only visible when he's dead
Hyde left him to slowly die while he went & had dinner in the next room

Louie you absolute drunk cunt

>it's only visible when he's dead
Why?

should i just start at the beginning and read the whole thing? Watching the boys (which i am now reading) reminded me of how much I like the invisible man.

Aquaman, I like how it starts but it just drags on for too long and then there's so much cgi pew pew shit . Didn't finish it.

Because something something dark side

Yeah. There's only a couple 4-6 issue miniseries of it. Great stuff though, and fucking packed with references to fucking truly ancient fiction.

It's an absolutely goddamn amazing series. Ties together so many famous works of fiction in really novel ways.

There is literally no way I would have ever realized this. Maybe you had to read the Invisible Man to get it?

t. retard

wait fuck which movie was europa report

I had no book background going into this, it felt like two different visions were somehow stitched together. One was this terrifying body snatcher horror film and the other was this lighthearted young adult coming of age adventure. I have to admit I enjoyed it for what it was, while being confused by how they dropped the horror angle entirely after setting it up so well in the beginning. While cheesy and anime-tier, I found the Gunslinger-magic bullet bending, insta-reloading and fighting entire armies with two fucking handcannons incredibly enjoyable, when Roland turned into Batman with guns for the final act.
It's not a good film, but I enjoyed it.
I'm beginning to think not knowing the source material helps with enjoying adaptations these days.

>Gunslinger-magic bullet bending, insta-reloading and fighting entire armies with two fucking handcannons incredibly enjoyable
The shit in the movie with all of that is so incredibly over the top from even what the novels had Roland able to do, but there's a great scene in the first book where he shoots an entire fucking town dead, women & kids & all, while running from them.
>Roland turned into Batman with guns for the final act
More like Wolverine. He was never meant to be impervious like he seems. And ALL of that Flagg/Walter stuff was bullshit. He was essentially a con artist with access to a tiny bit of actual magic who knew how to make it seem way more powerful than it was. He couldn't fucking command you to "stop breathing" (although that's the sole scene that made me chuckle).

I often wonder if I'm the only person in the entire fucking world who's actually read The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.

Was more talking about these parts
youtube.com/watch?v=CtYTXG1RFQ0
youtube.com/watch?v=ulFxMs35-P0
>that casual gun twirl at the end
It's stupid, unashamed, childish fun. I liked it.

I got stuck watching Gerald’s Game last night (WOAT ending of all time) and they dropped a tower reference in it. I think half of the reason King shilled for it so hard was because 2015-16 was his best bet at having a full fledged cinematic universe
There’s a lot to say about the movie, but the entire series is riddled with its own horrible problems. King touched gold with the 1st 3 books, had a great backstory in book 4, and utterly shit the bed with the rest of the series. Literally nothing happens in book 6 except a gas station fight and a Stephen king self insertion. The most interesting setting was midworld and they ditch it early in the series in favor of multiple earths where nothing happens

Is the dark tower Elba's penis?

>watched dark tower on a plane
>was still fucking mad

This could have been such a great movie series but they decided to completely fuck it up.

Holy shit, any other kinos for this feel? I've seen Wanted, Equilibrium and even the clusterfuck that is Ultraviolet.

I get your point about finding these things more enjoyable with zero knowledge of the source material but I have no fucking clue why one wouldn't simply make a new thing instead of making what you're adapting SO incredibly different from the source material that you're entirely turning off the built in audience for it.
Isn't the fucking built in audience the appeal for doing it in the first place?

In total agreement about the book series. He REALLY fucking shit the bed with book 7 especially, it's like old King looked at Young King's reputation for atrociously bad endings & said "hold my beer".

What the fuck is Alan Moore's problem? That's disgusting. I'll pass on reading that shit.

>What the fuck is Alan Moore's problem?
I don't see a problem.
Hyde softly sings to Griffin while he rapes him to death, too. Did it because Griffin beat the shit out of Mina & sold out humanity to the Martians.

Griffin was an absolute cunt from the start. The way Hyde killed him was nothing short of poetic justice.

That one was really bad. I turned it off after 15 minutes or so. What put me off especially was the set design. Holy fuck were they only allowed to choose 1 jpeg and 1 additional piece of foreground furniture for each green screen scene? Holy fuck it looked so bad

>why one wouldn't simply make a new thing
I actually had a lecture about Hollywood a few years back, where an excellent professor broke down the different eras. Essentially, after Hollywood had almost died, the great renaissance in terms of money came through franchising via the arrival of Star Wars and everything that followed, with sequels, universes and merchandise. My memory isn't exact here, but he painted a very clear picture that made the arrival of Fast&Furious 13 and Transformers 28 marketed for an Asian market just as obvious as the success of the MCU and all that it spawned.
Essentially, any type of tie-in, sequel or adaptation will sell better and more than an original film, due to how networks, advertising and keywords work these days. It's why we're going to get another Tomb Raider, Jumanji, Fast & Furious spin off and half a dozen of garbage capeshit annually but less and less high profile original scripts.

Literally left the theater numb. Never has any movie had that kind of effect. Can't even give Johnson the "ebin master troll" credit either despite wanting to.

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I too took film appreciation 100

Jumper and salt. There should be some more pre 2008 movies with similar themes and style

It was actually called "History of Hollywood: From New Hollywood to the Present". Just looked it up for you.

I liked it.

I've seen both, neither have the gun-kata / gun magic the ones I listed and the clips have. Although Wanted and Salt share Jolie, which is always a plus.
I couldn't enjoy Jumper, though.

Laura Dern’s character was set up as somebody that had a comeuppance coming and never got it. Condescending and the little plot they had to work with did her no favors in terms of devolopment.
The Finn and Rose scenes couldn’t carry the weight of the movie and were a few notches higher than the extra shitty scenes Lucas threw in the OT remaster

youtube.com/watch?v=QB9AY9Em4To
Haven't even seen the film, but reminds me of this clip.

There was a lot of bullshit in it, but only the raping of Luke could've had the numbing effect it did on me. Never expected that. Figured there was a good chance they didn't nail him "correctly" but I fucking never saw them making him a completely useless bitch who an heroes himself with a weak imitation of the Force trick Snoke already did twice with two other fucking people in the same film. You couldn't have convinced me beforehand they'd be that stupid.

Oblivion with Tom Cruise and Morgan Freeman

And of course

FUCKING

DOWNSIZING

got what a fucking PIECE OF SHIT movie downsizing is

Eragon.

As someone who normally likes FNtasy Movies. And worse for someone who read the books.

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>wait fuck which movie was europa report

the one where some scientist go to europe to find intelligent life, only to die off on by one. but before the last one dies, he captures a real european on film and so every at home pretends the missions was a success.

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The Final Sacrifice. I swear, even with the 'bots cracking jokes this could be better than nitrous oxide.

every lord of the rings movie

Mortal Engines

Holy shit, what a stinker. Just two hours of nonstop cliches and exposition.

Ghostbusters 2016. A friend told me it was so bad you could laugh at it. It wasn't, it was completely worthless. Just the most immature jokes every 50 seconds over and over. Each Chris Hemsworth scene was just awkward non-humor.

This was so ridiculously bad. I can't believe they released it in this state.

Assassins Creed

Wasn’t there supposed to be a prequel series by now?

Nice bait, but I have this with the Hobbit series. Barely finished all of them and I've already forgotten 90% of the plot.
Totally unnecessary trilogy of films.

>NO NO NO NO NO NO I IMAGINED THE CHARACTER AS WHITE YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE HIM BLACK NO NO NO NO NO THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING THIS IS AS BAD AS 10 JUMPSCARES PUT TOGETHER

Um, sweetie, excuse me, but niggers don't like to be called 'boy' anymore. They prefer the term 'racially challenged' instead nowadays, mm-kay?

It's like they did everything wrong on purpose. Just by reading a fucking wikipedia summary of the saga you should have a better understanding of TDT than whoever wrote this dumpster fire of a movie.

>brains flew like streamers
I honestly like the Gunslinger most of all of King's novels.

meh, black Roland isn't bad, it's the movie that is bad
they turned TDT into YA capeshit

Sunshine

I'm as non-resistant to race swapping characters as literally anybody, this movie would still be a smoldering diaper fire even if Roland was white.

He needs they money for his kids. He's also the bigest shiller of his children's work. The guy has no shame when it comes to taking care of his family. He would literally suck a dick if it meant one of his children would sell one more book. It's sweet and cringe at the same time.

i have to agree with this one. I fell asleep

That was Fantastic Four-tier.
And I mean this FF movie:
youtube.com/watch?v=r_X5C6e3ZeY

the trailer made it look good, but cheap. what makes it so bad?

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Salt was great and it was actual stunts, not cgi.

>it's only visible when he's dead
>Why?
Because that's how it worked in the original story. His body became visible when he died.

i actually liked this movie. Much better than the stallone one.

disgusting

you can consider me baited, master troll

That's a masterful movie. Imagine: you have both Elba and McCon... MacConn... McCaun... Rust, and you make the worst movie of the fucking year AND you make it that they don't even use their acting abilities in any memorable, or even decent, way.

That's fucking Art.

The fact he was a nigger was largely irrelevant to the films issues

Forgot this existed lol

I attempted to watch Predators two times, couldn't get past the part when Olivia Munn arrives to a science facility and geeks out over an alien spear or whatever.

Sorry, I meant THE Predator. Fuck these title trends btw

Y'know... I can see what you mean, and yet I actually liked that film in a weird way. There were some genuinely hilarious moments, particularly involving that group of misfit soldiers. I see it as more of a black comedy than an action film.

Predators was good. The Predator was shit, and not even because of Munn. It was a mess of pacing and tone. Also Autism being the next step of human evolution felt so cringe.
Unpopular opinion: I really, really like Topher Grace as an actor. Just saw The Calling last night. Good movie.

t.brainlet-zoomer who didn't watch the originals

Pic related is hot trash.

I get that Bronson is meant to be this larger than life absolute cunt, but I just couldn't stand it.

I usually really like Tom Hardy, but I found his portrayal of this thug absolutely unpalatable.

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yeah this movie fucking sucked, deleting photos on my phone was more worth my time than watching this

Very probably the worst film I have ever seen

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this but unironically.

I'm not watching a movie where a black person or UH as i like to call them NIGGERS is playing a descendant of Arthur

Never had the urge to watch this movie, but if you're interested in the books, here is my recommended order:

>The Gunslinger
>The Drawing of the Three
>The Waste Lands
>Wizard and Glass
>The Little Sisters of Eluria (short story in Everything's Eventual)
>The Talisman
>Black House
>Insomnia
>The Wind Through the Keyhole

Skip DT books 5-7

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I read the books after my cousin really recommended them and consider it all very meh, ending was good but my god a lot of bullshit and filler in between. This film was actually enjoyable and well made, kept some of the most intersting parts, changed bits to make it work better as a film and finished it in one rather than god knows how many fucking films.
I also cringe when I read how people genuinely care about Stephen Fucking Kings novels as if they had some intrinsic depth or value and get angry that the film has strayed from them. Hope those guys get to read good books by good writers one day.

This. Roland being black would have only been a problem once they tried to adapt Drawing of the Three.

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No, I watched the originals you dumb arrogant fuck.

You are worthless and stupid. Kill yourself.

I mostly agree. But W&G was long and somewhat boring. Good origin story though and we finally get to see the original companions.

lol yeah this was terrible. the absolute state of the incels shilling it

This is one of my guilty pleasures

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>and get angry that the film has strayed from them.
ITS 7 BOOKS SMASHED INTO ONE SHITSHOW!!!!

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Based Hyde, it had to be done

I can't remember Jumper.

It was in my school program as well as War of The Worlds and some Poe grimfuckery, enjoyed it all.

Idris Elba

Alita Battle Angel. Really bad "I'm acting" dialogue.

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Get on my level, nerds.

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GB16 wasn't horribly bad, it was just boring as hell. The script, or lack thereof, was the main culprit.

While I don't think the Hobbit is unwatchable, it has a severe case of bloat about it. I think it would be very feasible to cut it into two two hour movies with much better balance.

On his head, yeah

Oh fuck off, race swapping for ((diversity)) is a cancer on film and you’re an idiot if you pretend otherwise.

Everything Elba touches is hot trash, he’s a London Leftie pet who isn’t a fifth as good as his hype.

>Everything Elba touches is hot trash
That's where you're wrong kiddo.

Pleb niggers

Wasn't a cliffhanger, it was a tease. Learn the difference you fuckin homo.

>give evil hell
jesus christ

This movie is so fucking bad it's not even funny.

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Pic related.
I was willing to put shit aside and watch it for the shit show.
I couldn't get past the inteview scenes with Tessa. She has horrible comedic timing. It made me cringe a lot, and by the end of those interviews I realized that she would act like that for at leats 90min more and I decided to just abort it completely.

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>europa report
>i need big boom to make good sci fi

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I unironically couldnt finish this it was just boring and annoying for some reason

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this
i saw the original one, couldn´t stand how cheesy and murrican was this piece of shit, the even put a nigger on it!!!!! a nigger!!!! what the fuck.

Amazon

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>you have both Elba and McCon... MacConn... McCaun... Rust
i chuckled

Based