Go round to Sheila's and slag me off if you want, but I tell you what: You're not coming back here - FUCK OFF

>reminder that Ricky called Karl an idiot for suggesting the future would have augmented reality glasses
>Ricky said this was impossible and could never happen
>Reminder that Steve couldn’t fathom the concept of reading something you’ve written in the past and remembering the ending of it before you got there
>Reminder that Karl is genuinely more intelligent than both Ricky and Steve, he’s just not knowledgeable
>Reminder that both Ricky and Steve are both extrnely insecure and desperate to be seen as intelligent, while Karl can’t be bothered

How can you freeze time?

Man moths?

If moths had eyes, would they be happier?

How do they know they're not dead?

Cavemen hunting for food

But not before they style the hair on their head

What would last longer in dinosaur times?

A blind man didn't stand a chance

Not with all them rocks about

I'd rather be a blind moth

>Reminder the Ricky gets seriously upset and angry any time Karl brings up anything even remotely supernatural
>Reminder that Ricky Gervais has the exact personality we had when we were 12 years old and watched TheAmazingAtheist debate VenomFangX on YouTube

Reminder that ghosts dont exist you x tier shizo

Good thread

It's pretty incredible how arrogant especially Ricky comes across sometimes, usually its justified but he has embarrassed himself plenty.
The one that always makes me cringe is karl talking about a guy with two heads and Ricky is shouting that it's impossible but theres that girl with two heads in America now so...

'Cause 'e's done it before

>staunch athiest
>firmly believe things dont exist
>by definition it can never be proven
>appeal to authority when questioned 'le science's without having the slightest grasp of anything scientific.

Agnosticism is patrician choice.

Ricky's rocky foundation in science is quite apparent when he plays rickydickydiculous, the way he phrases the questions are at worst make them wrong and at best ambiguous.

this nigga finna be based

So, there's this bloke, right? He's a school teacher, and he's into all chemistry and physics an' that. Handing out homework to the kids, drawing... atoms an' that on the blackboard, stuff like that.
>Atoms, yeah? Alright.
And he's basically a good bloke, got a wife. His son is disabled and 'e has a baby on the way. Family bloke.
>A baby monkey, I'm calling it now, and it's bullshit.
>No hang on, he's going somehere here.
Anyway, he ends up with.. cancer. An' 'e starts doing all this mental stuff, exploding buildings an' that. 'Cause he starts making cocaine and heroin and sellin' it for loads of cash on the side 'cause teachers are not getting enough pay.
>I don't know how true that is.
>Well they have gone on strikes before.
So he goes to the desert, 'cause he lives in America an' they have deserts.
>They have desserts, yeah.
He stays near a desert.
One day he heads out with a bunch of metal bits and pieces, and 'e builds this machine gun.
>How does he do that? How do you build a machine gun from "bits and pieces?"
>Is this MacGyver or something?
>Oh yeah, a machine gun held together with rubber bands and Sellotape. Fuck me.
You don't see 'im making the bullets but he's a switched-on bloke and 'e knows 'is stuff. Maybe he bought some from a gun shop.
>So wait, he'd buy a bunch of bullets from a gun store but not a machine gun? Don't talk shit.
And he ends up putting this big machine gun in his car, and when he presses a button...
>The engine starts?
>Yeah, the windows go down?
The gun pops up out of the boot and it can shoot through walls an' that. Kills a bunch of people.
So the lesson there is "pay teachers more money because they could go mental."
>No, Karl...
>I think you may have misunderstood the synopsis a little.
>It's a great series, some of the most fantastic and compelling television ever made, and you've fucked it up in two minutes or less.
You say that, but that's just one way of lookin' at it.

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You know that Ricky losing it with Karl/laughing maniacally at Karl is exaggerated for effect?

The show wouldn't be as funny if he just had a reasonable reaction to Karl's shite. Like when you think about it, Monkey News is just like a little child making up harmless stories about chimps. Why would you ever realistically get angry about them being rubbish? It's funny when Ricky does though.

The algorithm

If ghosts are real the have to be affected by gravity becuase we are constantly moving

If you died you would drift off into space

Does a little snow stop Brits from going to work? What the fuck?

yeh roads are not flat

I've been watching the same 3 seasons of this show for 8 years now and I've only just realized. The older I get and the more I watch it, the more Karl makes sense. Hes a bit silly at times but he is truly unique and is curious about everything, something that Ricky and Steve are not.

We could all be a bit like Karl.

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>karl asks if he met his perfect clone with perfect memory replication, how would he know he's the original karl?
>ricky laughs, gets angry and inarticulate while failing to understand the completely legitimate conundrum

>'ight so this little hairy fellow...
>ABSOLUTE DRIVEL PLAY A RECORD
>let him finish!!!

but not shakespear

I see Karl as some sort of idiot savant figure, there were times I've heard the podcast or radio show, and Karl does drop some insightful comment that is just worded really poorly, making Gervais drop the "HAAA HAAW HAAAAAAAAH" laugh-squeal. Karl was raising a genuine philosophical conundrum before he got interrupted for fuck's sake, it's not his fault he speaks like a twat.

that one pissed me off too

atheists

Right, get your knickers off.

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Favorite Monkey News? Mine is the one where the monkeys learn about the value of money and go shopping. I love the way Ricky can't fathom it and loses his mind. Then all 3 of them end up shouting over one another.

30:09

youtube.com/watch?v=5t-KOKKOJfs

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this but unironically

the youtube algorithm controls us

I love listening to the XFM shows all over again after I've finished.

Someone also mixed in the songs they played on the podcasts here...

mixcloud.com/MFiles/

Its comfy kino when ur in the car and you sing and laugh along

>Its comfy kino when ur in the car and you sing and laugh along

>listening to old radio shows after the originally aired and pretending to be in the good times

You are one sad sack of shit.

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Literally whats wrong with that?

I'm not some le atheist nihilist like you

NO LET HIM FINISH

>why you 'avin an attack on me? You're the one who's sad and lonely

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the one where the monkey seduces the handler's wife by pinching her arse

kek

Alri Kirsty

Ohhhh! He's done you again, Steve. He's done you again...

there's a shadow in america

The one where the monkey goes to space, I always crack up when Karl says "Hit the left button"

based xfmposter

What monkey news was that?

Yeah this pisses me off too. If Ricky and Steve weren't such humongous cunts and were a little bit more inquisitive or at least made an attempt to help Karl get his point across they'd realize that his wild spergy ideas are usually metaphorical in nature and create some really interesting speculation. Karl would be way better off talking to people like Joe Rogan.

Done em up like a kipper

It was pushin people off their bikes

youtube.com/watch?v=4-iohfCUmu4

It turned out he came second in Wimbledon

alrite?

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'EAD LIKE A FOOKIN' ORANGE

What's he up to these days?

>for being snowed in?
In the UK? It was probably an inch deep. Karl was in the right

He had that TV show for sky but nothing since

Only turns out it was a pork chop that she’d say on five years earlier

>hes a lighthouse keeper

I will literally just think of a movie and later in the day I will see clips of it on my YouTube recommended.

Ricky is probably right here. There' experiments where Chimpanzees have exchanged tokens for rewards and have learned better ways to accumulated awards but they aren't going to the shop buying 2-for-1 veg

Don't let his words bother you, he is projecting his own depression and pathetic worldview onto you.

Maybe the reason Hollywood releases nothing but shit is because our subconscious wills nothing but shit

You probably subconsciously noticed the clip of the film in your sidebar and that got you thinking about the film later so when you came back to Youtube it was at the front of your mind

That said a lot about Ricky's ego

Ricky was ALWAYS cringe incarnate
>we
lol no, stop projecting zoom-zoom.

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Oh you've embarrassed yourself there user.

>reminder that Ricky and Steve could not fathom the idea of an internal monologue

>I hate Western Civilization, the white race, and anything associated with either one
unironically based

little monkey fella

>probably about five quid
I LOVE the little completely unnecessary musings he adds to whatever he says.

>So the Döppelganger go the same memories and thoughts as me, how do I know which one I am?

Karl's syntax was a bit off, but here Ricky was the one making a fool of himself not understanding what Karl was getting at

>Reminder that Ricky and Steve thought the Hindenberg was filled with helium

>Started out in biology at Uni
>Switched to philosophy
>Acts like an authority on science
He truly is Reddit incarnate

He was eatin 'is meat. And then.. the cancer came out

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