This happens. What you do?

and that the dark haired chick is the director's wife

Shut the door on them and laugh at how surprised they must be.

fear me, all ye who go upon the road

Kill right, marry holo-girlfriend

>implying it'd ever happen to me in the first place
whenever someone knocks at my door I move around like a ninja even ducking under the windows

I just make eye contact and shake my head no.

>Kill plain girl, fuck Ana
This. Realistically I have the means to imprison and enslave one women. Two would be good purely for the sake of sexual optionality but they'd probably be able to combine their wits and outsmart me resulting in my untimely demise or decades of jail time.

I'm very experienced in rejecting sexual advances because I'm scared I won't know what to do and she'll think my penis is small. Been doing it ten years. Also, I fucking hate freeloaders.
This would be a breeze.

lol Eli Roth who do you think you're fooling

This movie cemented Keanu as the worst A list actor of all time. Seriously, can that ugly faggot at least try being expressive?

Based. Just engaging in this thought process means you are not anything like a normie. Good for you.

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These girls would live with me until I was sucked dry.

Call an uber and sent them home. If it's too good to be true, usually, it's not true and it's trying to fuck with you. Not that I wouldn't bang a hottie but I'd do it in my terms, within my control, not the other way around. No matter how hot, a psycho is never worth your family.

How is it so bright while raining?

What makes you think I answered the door in the first place?

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I've seen it rain when the sun was shining. It's not unrealistic to be bright. But this type of light is obviously for cinematic purposes.

Have a threesome because I'm single

MOGGED

Call them a cab so they get home safely.

Have sex

get ridden by Ana de Armas. I honestly don't care what else happens.
and literally nobody saw it that way. Ana de Armas became Joi and is now going to be a Bond girl, it's quite obvious who everyone thought was way hotter.

Based faggot

Cut my dick off with a reciprocating saw then an hero

One of the all time greats in comedic cinema

I'd be too intimidated to open door.

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I'll be honest, I would think they were there to murder me or rob my house. There is no way a cutie will come to my house like that.

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D R O P P E D
R
O
P
P
E
D

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kek

>she'll think my penis is small
100% guaranteed this is true if your under 7.5 inches.

I just shut the door because I'm autistic.

What would Bill Wilson do if he met them?

>Eli
consider my mind to be exploding

>Rain?

He'd get through the situation easily, he'd have schmee and mimen there to back him up, so the moment the girls show up they'd know they can't win a 2 v 3 and leave

How did they plan on reporting him anyway? Did they have a recording? I genuinely forgot.

let the blonde in, send the uggo away.

based DROPPED poster

don't open the door, awkwardly watch them through the peephole until they leave.

>we're supposed to believe these girls are underage

Do what Keanu did but leave my family for them

this kinda happened to me but it was blonde jehovas witnesses. they asked for my folks and noticed the boner i was trying to hide by putting one foot on the stair and one on the floor. they said theyd come back but never did lol

It just looks like it's the lights from the house

Based FPBP'er

Not open the door.

Try to create a human centipede

choke them both out and store their head on a shelve

Same thing as Keanu in the evening, but don't be a retard afterwards and burry their bodies.

She's not bad at all.

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I curse at Sneed for buying out Chuck's, which is where I would've taken these girls had it still been operated by its former owner.

Bitch on the left needs to grow a chin.

Probably beg Ana to marry me and have my children.

I only watched half this movie, got to the part where they tie up keanu. Very meh so far. The premise is fine and I sometimes like Roth, but MEH. Is it worth finishing?

nothing
since ana would never fuck me anyway

What happens, two girls in the rain look at me?
I keep walking and wonder why they stopped to look at me like that.

Check the freezer if I have any storage space left

>taking your dates to a brothel
mega-autism

I've heard that she's going to be the next Bond girl, but also saw threads with some dindu woman replacing Craig.
Can anyone explain what's going on?

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The brunette is literally way way hotter you fucking idiot

They realized this bitch needs to grow a chin.

The blonde had a better pussy but the brunette was a try hard that would do anything.

Unironically based, user. Don't let the thots see your special place.

I still don't get it. What was their motive?

FUCKING ROASTIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!
*slams door and hides in room*

Wouldn‘t open the door, would just mute my PC and then hide under the table til they are gone.
I never open the door to anyone.

Also what would they want from me anyway?
I have nothing that they could steal (besides my virginity).

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Would do the same thing Keanu did but unlike I've got nothing to lose. And the brunette's hot too. I'd eat her shit

this
it's the age old threesome paradigm. the hotter one is lazy because she knows it, the other one is willing to do anal.

Dont they only target married men?

Come into my humble abode, m'luscious m'ladies. Ha ha ha. Little did you hedonistic harlots know, but you have surely entered into my web. For I am a spider of seduction, an arachnid of anarchy. You come to m'realm in order to destroy m'e however, it now turns out that you yourself are likely to be destroyed. BY ME!

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based retards who can't figure out a way to enslave both

based

Impregnate them both

there could be a bright lantern just on the left off screen

If I said no would they leave peacefully

is this actually worth watching?

Imagine if they were lez couple and they wanted you to impregnate them both. Would't that be funny hahah

No not really. i watched it because it was on HBO now which I subbed to for Game of Thrones (and regret it considering how season 8 ended up).. it was really bad, only thing of any value at all in that film was Ana de Armas. Keanu should stick to action films where his devotion to training and the fight choreography makes up for his inability to act.

Why do people pretend Lorenza isn't hot lol

It's my fav Eli Roth movie. Loved it.

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Whoa! That's what free pizza looks like?

she's hot, just not as hot as Ana.

Billygoat beard pilled.