What would you have said in this situation?

imagine being so fat that when you look at women you think about food

Her thinking Jonah was talking about food would just make her look stupider in hindsight once every one realized what he was referring to.

THIS CANT BE HAPPENING!!

honestly, I probably would have dissociated due to a lifetime of rejection and feelings of inadequacy. even if it was just a good natured rib from the host, I would have felt like time was moving both simultaneously quick and slow and then shut down socially and then 1000 yard stared at the floor

>live your dreams baby
>oh wait you can't
>drops mic
>walks out
>farts loudly

I've got something you could make disappear

"What am I, your pimp?" really is the ultimate answer.

My defense mechanism is self-deprecation, so I would have tried pathetically to play the sympahy card to the audience, with something like, 'hey, at least I made you laugh' or some don't-show-you're-internally-seething bullshit.

based

"Sneeds feed and seed formerly chucks fuck and suck"

not a pimp, a blimp

Nice.

>I don't speak italian

This

Attached: 1564061217037.jpg (680x1020, 452K)

MORE TIME DAMNIT

Attached: 1530900878823.jpg (495x362, 17K)

>I know you are, but what am I?

Incredible

I'm a handsome, fit man. She'd actually want to fuck me if she could deal with some autism.

Maybe sarcastically say something lik "Wow what a nice thing to say"

Son if dob

jerk store

If words don't work, then just take action. I'd assault her right then and there. And I don't mean like punching or or anything like that. I mean sexually assault her.
Whip out my cock, rub it on her or something. I don't know, but it's going to be something she can't really have a comeback for.

I just sprayed cum all over your face, your shirt, and pants. What can she really do or say as a response to that in a way that would put me down? She's covered in cum. Real men do, not just say things.

I don't know why I laughed at this

I'd start reciting FBI crime statistics

He took it about as well as to be expected. Probably got paid more for this appearance than all those local presenters get doing 3 months of this shit. Imagine the height of your career is a weekly variety television show.

Attached: david.jpg (1280x720, 38K)

>cancels all interview out of butthurt
>He took it about as well as to be expected

well jeez man I didn't know that part I only watched the clip

>you're no where near hot enough to fuck my friends you smelly cheese

here's exactly what i'd do
>dumb woman tells her little whore joke
>i laugh along with the audience
> i maintain eye contact with her till it becomes to uncomfortable and deafening that the whole audience is staring at me with confusion and anticipation
>she's visibly nervous
>i learn in
>let's see who's laughing after i beat the shit out of you and your family
>get up, and walk away respectfully

This

>you're such a fucking whore, I love it!

Attached: 1564626565363.gif (386x280, 2.52M)

"two guys at once? Is that a wedding ring? Aren't you married?"

WELL I GOT 2 WORDS FOR YA
SUCK IT
*crotch chops*

Based and redpilled

She's French... if she wasn't tag-teaming several lovers weekly she would be mocked by other Frenchpeople.

You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target.
Yeah, you're right. I eat too much. I also feed too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings.
Well, you think what you want about me. I'm not changing. I like me. My friends like me. My fans like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.

He just can't win

>I came here to discuss War Dogs, not whore frogs.

fat

>i am not your pimp

someone post the Thanos one

I would have literally burst into tears desu.

>how much do you charge?
or
>gangbang? is that how you got your job?
subtly call her a prostitute or a hollywood whore.

This comeback won't work in French. She'd have to be a native English speaker to think of a comeback pun.
The pimp line really is the ultimate reply and we don't need any time anymore.

I wouldn't have been in this situation, I'm a 9/10 Chad. 6'3" as well. Thanks Mom and Dad!

>that's fine I've got a date with a big plate of poutine
>I can eat that all night and the only thing I have to worry about is cholesterol

based

laugh, say oh no no, shake my head, make a yikes face and look at teller and laugh again, maybe shake my head again

infinity stone? that's a joke about weighing a lot because stone is for some reason a third world weight measurement

Post pics and ass asap.

Can somebody please link this

>stay calm, smile
>So, what reaction were you hoping for?

Basé

i wouldn't be jonah hill so i'd be alright

I can't find the clip of this, someone link it to me please.

NO STOP THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING