Rich kids will have objectively faster brooms than poor kids

>Rich and famous kids have an advantage
>the old guy obsessed with you is a fag
>Gay love led to suffering in the past
>The bad guys run the media
>People raised and conditioned for slavery are happy there
>An armed and trained people are a free people. Only a tyrant bans self defense.
Harry Potter was so nuanced and redpilled it fools normies even to this day.

The wizard media is based on shit like the Sun and Daily Mail in the UK though, everyone knows its trash

poor = retarded in harry potter universe. This is why jew goblin bankers owned 99% of wealth.

wow. are you aware that even five year olds can understand the concept of banking? it's not like you go to the bank and there's really rich people who give you some of their money so you can buy things. it's your money, and you give it to them, and they keep it safe for you. they don't own all that money, user.

holy fucking shit user kill yourself

What’s to stop someone from conjuring up a Nimbus 5000000? While I’m at it, why is money a thing in a world where people can just conjure shit up?

its always fun to btfo people using harry potter analogies by reminding them that every teacher at hogwarts was armed

They can't just create anything from thin air, just specific things. You have to create those spells, basically like magic in video games. In morrowind, you could work on spells and create new ones, too. There's already a lot of spells to do and create things, but not for everything. Just like they can't conjure real gold.

It's not that hard user, and actually, it's like that in most magical universes.

>it's not like you go to the bank and there's really rich people who give you some of their money so you can buy things

this has to be bait

Was it really written by JK Rowling? What's her deal ?

And it's a good thing

Sneedus 1105

haha epic btfo XD libcucks destroyed

>le mental illness post

t. Seething /pol/cel

F1 racing isn't something typically played in high school.

i use algebra literally every single day

Reddit

Banks make money by using your money to make investments or giving out loans. If too many people went to the bank and asked for their money back, the bank wouldn't be able to give it back.

I don't understand why the snitch needed to be a thing. Just make harry really good at flying so he can score with that main ball easily. It makes the game less retarded and harry less of a gary stu

Quidditch is the most stupidly complicated to explain but simple to play game I think I've ever heard of, cricket is the only game that has as many what the fuck were they thinking rules

So did Hogwarts have a mandatory vaccination program?

take my upvote, kind incel!

two of my friends and i once were smoking weed in an empty stadium in the college campus and then these girls started going into the pitch. they started playing this piece of shit game and we were hysterical at the sight. i still don't understand why anyone would play it.

I don't know, that paper that Luna's dad ran was more like an SS Magazine, it even had Jewish caricatures and references to death camps for Goblins

Who wanted to ban wands?

that makes it worse, not better

Tumblr

F1 cars actually differ from each other?

F1 has gay shit like mandatory pit stops to pretend its fair though, even though the result is nearly always exactly the same

niggas don't realize only ~8% of the total money in the world is printed

You forgot the big nosed bankers

Yes, every single team is cheating as much as they can, they read the rules for that year and then decide how to get around them

yes, obviously. These are car companies competing against each other.

I wish IRL sports had some kind of instant-win element

>be wizard
>can magix
>decide to torture my balls with a broom

Best thing about Harry Potter is that Rowling is basically a suburban bong mom that has a worldview that a Verhoeven would share only she's not capable of comprehending satire.

She would write pic related as a good guy keeping muggles in check.

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Combat sports.

Do you really expect a lot of thought and nuance in a fictional sport from the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises? Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

a-at least the books were good though

"No!" The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>The space was becoming tighter by the hour; the dementors were closing in. Like a smokestack at Birkenau, I had to watch where my shadow fell.

>no image
It's just not the same

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>GOLDSTEIN in the background with huge Jewish caricature in the foreground
Real fucking subtle Rowling

I don't have your money here! It's in Bill's house, and Fred's house!

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>game goes on for 8 hours
>score is 140 - 20
>someone gets the snitch
>game suddently over
>140-170

what the fuck is that unbalanced

Realistically the game would basically devolve into a "cripple the seeker" type affair where every other position exists solely to send the cunt off the field on a stretcher

Basketball and baseball are just as retarded

>woman in charge of writing rules for an imaginary sport

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Baseball yes, Basketball no. Basketball is just use your hands and get the ball into a basket, if you strip it off the trillion rules. That's not nearly as retarded as Quidditch

Harry is one of the richest at Hogwarts but he had both his brooms bought for him (From Dumbledore and Sirius).
Clear favouritism.

>That's not nearly as retarded as Quidditch
Nothing is, the only comparable thing is Cricket which is just as quintessentially British in having to throw your arms around like some sort of fucking retard instead of pitching it like a normal human being throws literally anything else

started reading Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality.
Why is Harry such a little autistic brat? He's like a worse Sheldon.

This is pretty common with British fantasy and sci-fi. They don't really care about world building, just about what they can add here and now to a moment in the story to make it feel more fantastical in nature.

No it doesnt you autist

Yeah, it's a shit sport.

This is why salary caps are a thing.

Basketball is one of the most retarded sports out there. An hour of watching lanklets accumulate a 100+ points that don't matter because unless one side is really shit the scores will more or less be the same the whole game and only the last 5 minutes are important. At least with baseball getting a run actually matters and is a significant event in the game.

Watching sports in general is for retards but anyone who actually watches basketball games in their full is an especial retard.

>soccer

I don't watch sports, I play(ed) basketball myself. It's the only competitive sport I really like.

rent free

>Main villain wants to execute half-bloods
Not really that redpilled now is it?

harry potter is complete horse shit when it comes to lore and story anyway dont question it. its the zoomer equivalence of its time

T. Algebra teacher

>be harry potter
>hagrid takes you to your personal bank vault
>your parents left you an enormous inheritance
>buy a ginger twat you just met sweets and candy
>a year passes by
>that ginger twat is now your best friend
>he takes you in from your abusive household and gives you a family you never had
>turns out his parents are struggling to make ends meet and might not be able to buy school books for all of their children
>idk sucks to be you ron, i'll just chill in the background while your parents buy you second hand books in terrible condition

why didn't they just use magic to copy books?

Take this image and upgrade your post

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Mage copyrigth ?

That is THEFT, my dear.

Why don't muggles use coping machines to make more textbooks?

they would have to be incredibly powerful wizards, you can't just make shit out of thin air
all the stuff they learn in hogwash is pretty much just the entry level stuff

Harry didn't seem to care much about school rules so he would likely just magic pirate books.
they do

The game can't end unless the snitch is caught. She talks about matches lasting for months.

>buy paper and pens
>use magic to write content from books to paper

>salary caps
>European sports

JK actually reflected the reality of soccer leagues rather accurately, even if it was done by completely-unintended ass-backwards coincidence

Nope, you need a personalized access code from the textbook to unlock the online portion of the course to pass.

>people play this stupid game in real life
>there are actual sponsored teams in college

how did reimi get away with this?

Did Hogwarts have mandatory penis inspection days?

It's always a great sign when promotional material has to outright spell out who characters are and their roles.

The moment you put your money on there they get the power to 10x it in loans. So the bank litteraly gains 9x your money.

>this incredible level of seething manlet
Kekirino.

Your life sounds gay as fuck m8

But Harry DID try to help out. The Weasleys were like any large working class poor family in 80/90s Britain and wouldn't have any handouts. The only thing they'd accept is all the free books Harry got from Lockhart, because Harry didn't pay for them either and would have thrown them away if the Weasleys didn't take them.

>yes yes... To get a grade you have to buy this book that either I wrote myself or get a kickback from, you can't borrow it from a library either! What? No we won't actually use it during class more than once, why would we?
The fucking state of ultra-capitalist education.

>Weasleys don't accept "hand outs"
>they stay broke for the entirety of the series
>harry invests actual money into Fred and George's shop
>they lift themselves from poverty and make harry a return on his investment
really makes you think

feels good not to be an american and attending a school that's required to always have all course literature in their library

>try to copy that scroll despite warnings
>the simple curse put on it activates, making it blow up in your face
It'd take people like the Weasley twins to work out how to disarm the curse before copying, not some random schoolkids. And at that point they'd have to fear the retaliation of the bookwriters.

It's almost as if empty pride can keep you from reaching a level of actual pride, and the poor in Britain and Ireland(no coincidence the Weasleys are redheads with a hundred kids) has been proof of this for centuries.

bad post user, derivative and dull

LITERALLY pay2win,fuck that little fag

i dont think school shooting was a problem at hogwartz

>People still fall for Yea Forums's bait rankings

Wonder why?

Revisionism. Snape was a halfblood and a trusted servant of Voldemort.

you wouldn't conjure a car

Because the author of that fanfic is basically irl Sheldon

Slytherin all had faster brooms in the 2nd book. They still lost

Nah

Cricket has Laws, not rules, user.
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laws_of_Cricket

Loser copy of baseball invented by India.

or that the only thing that lists people from poverty is actual money
at the end of the day you can pull at your own bootstraps all you want, you're not going anywhere

All those armed teachers, yet it didn't help at all.

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>The Nimbus 2000 is a broom produced by the Nimbus Racing Broom Company as part of their successful line of racing brooms. At the time of it's release in 1991, it was the fastest broomstick in production. The Nimbus 2000 easily outperformed its competitors on the Quidditch pitch

"no!"

>not using algebra to wreck the opposite team with high IQ strategies

It doesn't surprise me, americans will never get football.

Is the last panel magic rape?

I'd pay to watch a movie about a school shooting in a magic school

Wouldn't be a Moore comic without rape, now would it?

>Main villain was a half-blood mongrel.
>Driven insane by lack of identity and a stable family he purity spirals out of self-loathing.
Go back.

bet you cry about niggers and their gibs all day on /pol/ you hypocrite

5/10 would have been higher with the image.

itt dunning kruger brainlets who don't understand banking and credit

but american football is so much more tactful than soccer

Clifford is much too overt have a little respect for your joke's audience.

Kek. Underrated

Quidditch is retarded as fuck. The snitch gives you like infinity points so every other player and position is completely arbitrary. I guarantee Rowling was just so shit a writer that she couldn’t make it so Harry was just naturally good at the game. The snitch was introduced just as an easy way to make Harry look better than he actually is. It’s fucking retarded.

>quidditch isn't dominated by the black students
I can only suspend my disbelief so much

Like how muggle blacks can’t swim, wizard blacks can’t fly.

Thats because british schools are divided into houses and each has their own stereotypes. in Hogwarts its just exagerated and given a reason (ancient sorting hat babble)

And you don't realize that JK Rowling banking goblins or whatever aren't real bankers, they just put people's gold in caves

weird, since it was a Brit that created the most comprehensive fantasy universe that will ever exist.

Don't mind me, I'm just torrenting this book.

basketball is fun to play tho

Seriously? Where can I read up on this?

Tolkien is the exception that proves the rule. For some reason, for the last couple decades Brit stuff has actively shunned letting a setting help define a character. Dr. Who, Harry Potter, even shit like Black Mirror and 40k. I guess there's some modern writing conceit that your only concern as a writer is maintaining Drama, and you can abuse logic and coherent character development as much as you want as long as you hit those dramatic points. Maybe it's somehow part of the modern Anglo worldview, that nothing is allowed to organically influence you if it doesn't fit your existing plan. Like they took the Shakespeare logic that the sets and background don't matter, only the actors and the arranged conflict.

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Personally I don't think so. Read somewhere that her family is actually really wealthy and she's just a front for her product. I mean the brits got a lot of culture creation, Beatles were a product of the Tavistock Institute for example.