What about the other kids?

What about em?

The old lady is actually some eldritch horror, don't feel bad because she's not human anyways.

Pushing a sweet cart for a train full of cute kids is exactly the kind of "job" that an old woman would volunteer to do just to get out of the house and for fun.

Most of the jobs wizards do in the Harry Potter universe make sense as just being on a volunteer basis, honestly. Kind of like Star Trek TNG. Of course, that's giving Rowling too much credit as a writer, because she's obviously too fucking stupid to understand that the wizarding world she wrote should by all rights be a post scarcity society with no need to work unless somebody does it as a hobby

I know it sounds like a joke but didn't the cursed child or the crimes of grundlewad canonize that?

What do bankers do in a post scarcity society?

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I'm sure it did, thought I believe it was mentioned in the first book.
But she's probably a genderless toilet come to life to serve ailing genderqueer Hogwarts population. As Rowling would put it.

create scarcity

Once she leaves she uses a spell that instantly restocks the trolley.

Harry is relentlessly cute. I want to kiss him relentlessly.

the trolly candy is magic that vanishes after being eaten. you think they would want new students to walk into the castle sick to their stomachs? nah, it's probably free as well. harry got fucking scammed

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't they explicitly say that alchemists never did turn lead to gold in the harry potter universe?
Gold seems to be held to its standard in their world as well.

There's plenty of food in the service car. She just goes back and loads up the trolley again

What would be the absolute worst flavor bean?

chalk

It doesn't happen, but you can be sure that Harry would happily hand over candy to any other kid who popped their head in and asked for some. That being said, the movies are shit and the books are for kids.

Earwax

Your grandmother's diabetic diarrhea.

is this pasta?

>promotes gang-rape as punishment for evil women
whew, J.K....

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yes, its harold bloom

n-no

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This was worse than any meme flavored bean.

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Harold Bloom never actually read a Harry Potter book, this is fact.

This is a magical universe, the cart probably replenishes automatically.

Is harry potter the worst fictional universe ever created?
the answer is yes

Cursed Child, yes. Basically some kids go back in time for some reason and end up on the train and get attacked by the trolley lady because she is actually the guardian of the train to make sure people not allowed don't get on it. Then you find out the girl who went back in time with the protags is actually Voldermorts rape child and she did it because she has a fathercomplex.

>Cursed Child
>Canon
Next you're gonna tell me Nagini is an asian woman

>rape child

Yes, Bellatrix is a rapist.

>Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't they explicitly say that alchemists never did turn lead to gold in the harry potter universe?
If by that you mean the plot of the first book revolved around an object that could do just that as well as provide an elixir for eternal life.

>emasculating his new friend in front of a chick
What a scumbag

I didn't read the book but is it Bellatrix + Voldemorts kid? Lel.

I didn't read it nor do I care about Harry Potter. I'm too old.

You got a trolley lady fetish, boy?

Daily reminder that Harry Potter is so rich because his uncle invented a potion that grew your hair back. He made a potion for hairlets. He became insanely rich and left a huge portion to his sister(?) (Harry's Mother, I think?) which in turn was left to Harry.

Harry, did I ever tell you about the time Bellatrix raped me? She was a good friend.

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Hermione you sicko

Well it is in Bongland, women cannot rape men, legally.

who needs to buy chocolate when you can just magic yourself chocolate? what kind of economy would they even have?

You can't conjure food sweaty :*)
Except for the times when they do. And you can cast an engorging charm on food to increase its mass.

That reminded me of the Harry Potter merchandise that was before the movies.
youtube.com/watch?v=AbjokHgPWLU

Voldermort. The seething incel of the magical world. A man more or less confirmed to be evil because he was conceived under the effects of a date rape potion, actually fucked a woman and did not then turn around and murder her for this, that or the other? The man who attempted to murder an infant produced one himself?
(reddit spacing)

what in all the screaming hells is this?

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Cursed Child is "canon" because otherwise, nobody would care.

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I am disturbed by this. If you create matter, the overall pressure of the universe increases marginally. Repeat this many times over, I can't even begin to imagine the deleterious consequences.

do british kids really steal their parents cars so they can go to school?

I saw this exact conversation on a hp thread before like word for word deja vu
OH fuck no i'm in the matrix

What if they just convert air into food

God i want to attend hogwarts. Fuck what anyone says HP is one of the best escapist fantasy worlds

bean

If Harry was so obscenely rich, why didn't he just buy a new foster family?

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the books are set in the 90's right?
I wonder what sort of modern trends from the outside world could have seeped into hogwarts through all the mudblood students

None. Half-breeds are generally still heavily influenced by their Luddite magical parent and live a life of primitive luxury. Then sending them to hogwarts, where modern technology fails and you're never going to see a battery or power line only reinforces the status quo.
You want to go for the same reason most do. To exploit Joke's inconsistent reality. No judgement though, I also wish to spend my breaks selling my polyjuiced body to the horny boys and abusing low-level magics to make bank

It must have been interesting speculate the story between the publications of the books.
youtube.com/watch?v=qhczQ3nYvnI

Maybe the late 90s/early 2000s. Yeah Hermione was showing everyone her Gstring in book two. I gotta be honest that is the least of my interests. I would do some weird shit involving pollyjuics potions and organ enlargement spells. I don't think you can sneak into girls dorm on pollyjuice tho.

I genuinely do not understand anyone who wants to do this. I think they're conflating the comfortable family life Harry Potter manages to slot himself into with the actual state of the school.

Technically no. It turns out similar every time, but is typed out completely. This series just has that effect on people.

Don't know about inconsistent but it certainly is appealing. I would create my own spells and bang girls while temporarily being agirl

sure as fuck was. I have a bunch of 1st editions i got at midnight release

Yeah i hated my family life as a kid and had shitty friends. I wanted to go to school at hogwarts and fucking fly on brooms

Just imagine the rut though man. Dozens of horse phalluses just pummeling the everloving shit out Umbridge. She'd fight at first, hate it at first, then, slowly, she'd grow accustomed to it, want it, even. The disgust would set in - how low had she fallen? Enjoying being the fleshlight for a pack of centaur filth. The indignity and perversion of it. Then she'd start to tire. Aches and strains would set in. She'd find herself fighting to enjoy it while steadily being drained of physical and mental energy. And still they'd keep coming and cumming. She'd be literally nearly beaten to death by horse cocks.

I'd say she looked pretty okay for having endured that in the movie afterward. Cleaned up pretty well.

How many actual witches and wizards are there in the HPverse? The movies made it kind of look like they were very small minority to muggles. Like, we know that total human population (at the time) was like 6 billion, and of the total number of students and even ministry workers seemed like such a paltry number to what bureaucratic nightmares muggles come up with.

The books takes place from 1991 to 1998.

The stadium that the quidditch world cup was in takes 100 000 people, so no less than that.

Imagine for a moment a spell that would allow you to bukake a chicks face all by yourself fucking gallons of cum

That spell already exists, it's called not being a fag

I'm not cumming on your face

The global wizard population is equable to a major city I imagine. A couple million tops. This includes
>inbred wizard only villages
>scattered lone families
>The Only Wizard Business Hub in Britain

They have more than one trolley dear.

What's wrong with Game of Thrones?

loli sweat haha

Belle's Bathwater

How many wizards are there according to the books?

I don't think JK Rowling knows what math is.

I know it's pasta but
>Atlas Shrugged
>God tier

Based

JK Rowling said around 3,000. I assume that is 3,000 in UK.

We don't know how many wizards in the UK attend Hogwarts, but Hogwarts has only approximately 40 new students each year, or 280 total.

>Ron got ditched by his 3 brothers and was forced to sit alone
Why did the sorting hat put them in Gryffndor?

"No!"

90% of anime universes are even worse

I unironically still like first two books and movies, not a fan of anything that came after

If he was rich why didn't he just move out?

Gryffindor was the jewish house

Because he was 11? He needed a guardian until he was 16.

Same, although I don't have much problem with the books.

Old enough for magic old enough to pay rent.

For the magical protection that his aunt Petunia had.

go to synagogue

>you're now aware that Neville lost his virginity before the rest of the gang, to ron's sister no less
>you're now aware that ginny canonically fucks at least TWO people -minimum- before she hooks up with harry

I have chalk cravings sometimes. I used to put a chalk in my mouth, then put a toothbrush in and chew them both at the same time. Heaven.

what the fuck is wrong with british people

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Stop taking it there user.

I always assumed thy carried her around for awhile, beat her up and Dumped her somewhere outside the forest.

Fuck 'em

>Imagine being born with magical powers just to end up in one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises.
One of the best yet, keep up the good work

No shit retard. Why would you fantasize about being the janitor?

How about you imagine my engorged treat

All the cars past Harry's were full of Slytherin kids. He didn't give a fuck.

The third movie was good, the rest were just ok. Chris Columbus is a mediocre director

human

spaghetti

That flavor just don't belong in a candy bean, I tell you what

youtu.be/-Pz8wTWzPaQ?t=98

Ah, there it is. Just what I came to the thread for.

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>of

Great meme wrong thread

The first two movies at least kept to the idea that wizards are shit at blending in with muggles clothes, and robes and school uniforms.
The third film and on the costume department got lazy and you had everyone chilling in jeans and shit and even purebloods in fancy tailored business suits instead of robes.

what was the ministry's tax policy?

The clothing is a whole bag of worms. Wizards are supposed to be cut off from the muggle world culturally, many not realizing robes and pointy hats are not traditional muggle clothing too, but their society and way of life seem to be a mix of traditional British idiosyncrasies and a deliberate, consistent counterculture thereto.
The truth is it was never meant to be a consistent world, moreso a Dahlesque, Pratchett-lite cute commentary on modern life. (see ). The suits are part of an effort to craft a more internally consistent world while softly rebooting elements from the first two movies, mostly visual ones. Said effort culminated in the Fantastic Beasts movies, so fuck that shit.

So what about the dementors who boarded no problem?

Kek

Jew

There are few settings that sound as depressing as an ancient castle somewhere in Scotland in the 90s. But hey, I've actually lived there so maybe I'm not romanticizing it as much as I should be.

She wasn't there yet.

>and Dumped her somewhere outside the forest.
They didn't though. Dumbledore went into the forest to get her back.
Rowling forgot about that when she wrote The C*rsed Child. Just like she forgot about Professor McGonagall's age when she decided to include her in Fantastic Beasts.

LMAO

>voldemort had sex
rowling is the biggest hack i have ever seen. completely shatters her own fictional universe

It's kinda obvious Ron went looking for him. Ron's a good kid.

there's literally nothing wrong with parents taking care of their children

he aint letting some mudblood to get those sweets
if other pure blooded kids have to suffer to achieve that, then thats a sacrifice he will gladly do

dont worry, those centaurs just turned gay

I remember being at Borders every time they released a new book but I never pre-ordered and they would give me the stink eye every time because they still have to sell me the book anyway.

How is Potter the only person to survive the killing curse? Throughout wizard history no other person has sacrificed themselves for a loved one?

someone has to do it and it probably beats being a trolly lady

it's magic, wizards can live forever don't you know

midge

pussy

it might have happened before and just noone knew about it. the only witness would be the survivor, and if it was a kid like in harry's case they wouldnt remember anything

wizards are a bunch of selfish assholes with no contempt for good or evil

rent free

D R O P P E D
R
O
P
P
E
D

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you can eat chalk and it won’t harm you

>take the lot
>she just creates more for the other kids
>realise you didnt take the lot, just a portion of infinity

must be suffering potter

very good intro line user. (you)

Harry was rich and popular so Rowling had to invent some dumb reason to keep Harry an underdog until the last book.

>Use magic
>Summon more candy
Not that hard OP

keep all the most powerful items locked up that could produce a post-scarcity society.
like they do irl

>go to new years party
>they forgot to buy actual snacks
>only have these harry potter like beans and alcohol

threw up next morning like you wouldnt believe

>remember the six million

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where was she when Harry was attacked by a dementor on the train in the first year ?

Is this implying that the trolly witch personally killed "over six million" Jews with her pumpkin grenades?

>she is actually the guardian of the train to make sure people not allowed don't get on it
Unless they're dementors, then they can safely get on board and suck the childrens' souls to their heart's content.

Dude have you ever worked in catering ?
There is no way that they only have the sweets that are on the trolley.
They most likely have 10 times the amount in some food locker on the train.

fucking retard

shit

The Stranger in God tier rustles my jimmies more than anything in this bait

Best intro I’ve seen in a while