Accept christ

How does one go about accepting Christ?

sure

What the fuck are you doing here then?

Read the gospel my friend.

Phoenix is unironically the best cast for Jesus.

Reminder, heaven has no
>sex
>food
>music
>marriage/family
>sports
>pets
>gambling
>drugs
>movies

Basically your "reward" is you forget literally everything from your first(wife, kids, parents, friends) life and become one with Christ and mindlessly worship him forever.

Heaven has pets, my dog is there

When I die, fuck it, I wanna go to hell
'Cause I'm a piece of shit, it ain't hard to fuckin' tell
It don't make sense, goin' to heaven with the goodie-goodies
Dressed in white, I like black Timbs and black hoodies
God'll prob'ly have me on some real strict shit
No sleepin' all day, no gettin' my dick licked
Hangin' with the goodie-goodies, loungin' in paradise
Fuck that shit, I wanna tote guns and shoot dice

Where do you get this information? I'm genuinely curious. Where has heaven been explicitly described?

Retard. Heaven is eternal bliss and happiness. There is no point in sex and all that other shit when you are happy and in grace forever.

Attached: 1556630880398.jpg (683x817, 57K)

Well which religion gives you 72 virgins? Maybe I'll give that one a shot.

How the fuck does a non believing fucktarded nigger like you know what's in Heaven?

I love Christ

So you’re basically nodding off for eternity sucking gods dick as you forget about your family, friends, interests, actions, and everything else that factored into your “faith” in the first life? That sounds fucking stupid bro.

He literally died for you and you're gonna disrespect Christ like that? God will judge.

have fun literally burning alive for all eternity with no second chance

Dead jew on a stick

that's not in the bible

>Where do you get this information? I'm genuinely curious. Where has heaven been explicitly described?
The Bible says fairly little about what Heaven is actually like. However there are plenty of clues and people have pieced together whats going to be there. For almost anything you can just google search "will there be X in heaven?" and almost every Christian website says no. You apparently won't need food or water in heaven. Indeed, basically everything and anything "of the world" won't be there. Animals don't have souls, so no your pet won't be there and there are no "new animals. Jesus openly told people that in heaven no one is married so your wife of 50 years won't be your wife anymore and you won't care. Most theologians have always held the view that carnal pleasure like alcohol or sex won't be in heaven. The Bible is pretty clear on those things in this world. Your reward isn't that by foregoing pleasure here you get to indulge later. Essentially your reward is Jesus wipes your mind blank and you don't care about anything from your previous life(like your unsaved best friend being in Hell) and will get access to some unexplained "new" and "better" experiences. tl;dr Heaven is a weird cult akin to N. Korea where you thank Jesus for the rest of time for creating you and letting you in his private club.

yes it is

Most people get sick of their wives after 10 years let alone 50 years, so that's a good thing

I accept christ every moment of my life

Why do Christians take this sick glee in telling people that everyone except them is going to be tortured for eternity? What the fuck is wrong with them, guys?

read the Bible instead of googling it for patchworked answer

It is in those moments they are euphoric.

What If we're currently in heaven now and you've forgotten your previous life's family and friends?

lord make me an instrument

>All those sins and vice you degenerates like won't be in Heaven
No fucking shit asshole

This. All dogs go to Heaven.

I've read most of it and listened to the entire King James Version on audio.

but did you read it all?

>using websites as info about what is in heaven

Attached: 1556994501381.jpg (398x376, 37K)

I LOVE YOU GOD

Attached: 133C8264-AF83-4ACE-BE1D-5C6258678FF1.jpg (480x286, 37K)

I hope all you fellows recommending other anons read the bible have read the various Christian texts in their original language.
If you've only ever read English interpretations it's pretty fair to say that you've yet to experience the true and unfiltered word of God.

No, and you don't actually need to.

Not everybody has the time and resources to learn Koine and Hebrew.
Christianity survived fine during the ages of illiteracy, not everybody needs to read the original texts.

biblica.com/bible/
>and then god... and then god... and then god
Why is the bible written so autistically?

Never think you have an opinion on theological matters ever again.

I think you posted the wrong image of Zack Snyder op

Get your head out of your ass you delusional pretentious mentally ill cunt

Why are you getting angry?

I just did some googling, and there's definitely music in Heaven.

>Not everybody has the time and resources to learn Koine and Hebrew.
Spoken like a true EOP.
I don't see how you can both claim to dedicate your life to Christ and not spend a couple years learning his language.
Just seems lazy as fuck to me.
Like you're only happy to be a Christian on your own time when it suits you.

Why can't I? The entire Bible is available online for anyone to examine.

ok Mr. Pope, explain heaven

Because there’s literally no substance behind your moral and intellectual posturing and you aren’t actually better than anybody else because of your weird fucking obsession with this partictlar set of ancient stories

But you admitted to not doing so?
When did I say I was better than anyone else?

stop dodging the question. explain heaven if you know so much.

>But you admitted to not doing so?
I listened to every world on audio. youtube.com/watch?v=EiXQmeuHTOY&list=PLciw59VByavAaZWBRNGtsfAVx3K5DyYWz

Do you not understand that that’s not enough to fully understand the Word?

you dont know shit . your opinion is invalid

Based and christpilled

Stop fighting. Jesus wouldn't want that.

Why not? Why do you have to psychically look at each page? What additional insight does reading the entire thing uninterrupted convey? What did you gain from reading the entire thing cover to cover that you did not have before?

why are you getting angry?

>being this ties to things of the flesh
You are from the realms below. I am from the realms above. There is little wonder as to why you cannot discern heavenly things. It is because you do the works of your father, who is also from the realms below. You cannot discern spiritual things because the Spirit is not in you. Seek The Word.

So a blind person can never truly understand the Bible no matter how hard they try? Are they another particular group your psychopath tantrum-throwing toddler of a god hates for absolutely no fucking reason?

Because I can study and subsequently fully nuances and meanings of each scripture instead of hearing it passingly?

>posting the inferior religion

Attached: 1539198795455.png (768x432, 459K)

I would absolutely kick your ass and shove your face into the nearest toilet if we ever met

Blind people have a way to read books, dude.

>Because I can study and subsequently fully nuances and meanings of each scripture instead of hearing it passingly?
How do you know?

>no drugs, sex and movies
How will I get my cheap dopamine shot then, I build my whole life around it

Attached: 1564684424991.jpg (378x378, 31K)

Because I do it?

>magic man flies into the sky and lives on the clouds

Yikes

>that ego trip
>that spite towards the father/only real father figure
I know how hard it is having been raised by a single mom, bit you have to forgive her for what she done, forgive your father for not being there not protecting you, only this way you can find peace and have a proper relationdhip to the heavenly father. DONT LISTEN TO THE CHILDREN OF THE LIE, FOR THEY ARE OF THEIR FATHER THE DEVIL
t. been through the same senpai

Attached: 1564171120117m.jpg (1024x917, 236K)

>>magic man flies into the sky and lives on the clouds
Jesus lives in you, not the clouds

I did many years ago, but it wasnt the written word that converted me, it was the world shattering relevatory encapsulating abilities of the ultra-subjective Truth (upper case T) of the medium of film that shocked me into it.

is that way tradcath faggot

No you don't.

im trying bros

Cope.

Well at least you’re admitting to your blatant projection. You will always be a broken spineless worm and god sure as fuck isn’t gonna patch that hole, buddy.

Damn this dude is sad.

>2011+8
>still not getting that everyone pretending to be a Christian on Yea Forums of all places is just trying to bait fedoras.
I shiggy diggy doo friends.

Actually, I am a calvinist

okay.

Kill yourself anyway.

Holy mother of based. Blessed post

shut the fuck up

It's not up to me to end my life, god decides when my time is over

Is god okay with you harboring all that racist hatred in your heart?

I have a policy on not worshipping dead Jews.

Are you Brazilian by any chance?

That's not heaven at all. It's eternal happiness, you reunite with those that have died, you get indescribable pleasure, sing hymns of praise; that sort of thing. Where did you get this?
>sex
>gambling
>drugs
Degeneracy, what's wrong with you?

Not the music of the world. Any music in heaven is about God. Again, it's kind of creepy and cult like. Whatever music of the world you like you will forget and all you get is some vague promise of "better" music later that your soul will be reprogrammed to enjoy.

>you will forget
No?

Obviously yes.
God just so happens to approve of everything I also approve of.
It's not strange don't ask questions

Where does the Bible imply you forget what Earth was like?

>he thinks these short term surface-level mere dopamine shots are comparable to absolute eternal bliss
it's like saying Hell is nothing compared to being bullied, hit by a stick or insulted online

>that your soul will be reprogrammed to enjoy
It already is "programmed" exactly like that. Art on Earth is nothing but people trying to reach that.

>It's eternal happiness
It's a cult dude. There is no pursuit of happiness or free will in heaven. You're just one with Christ and thats all you're supposed to want. You can only go to heaven if you accept Christ and love him more than everyone nad everything else.
>you reunite with those that have died
You reunite with those who are saved. Actual Christians shut out anyone who isn't saved including family members. The Bible is pretty clear that the vast majority of all humans who ever existed aren't going to heaven.
>you get indescribable pleasure
From worshiping God.
>sing hymns of praise
About God. Why does the most powerful being care so much about me? I'm less than an ant to him. Why does he demand my total obedience like some cosmic dictator? What is the difference between him and Big Brother in 1984? Both required total obedience and loyalty.
Are you honestly going to remember your favorite Taylor Swift song 1 trillion years after you die and go to heaven.
17 For, behold, I create new heavens and a new earth: and the former shall not be remembered, nor come into mind.

holy shit lol

>Not the music of the world.

The bible literally mentions harps.

blessed

>A handful of decades
followed by
>Literal unending trillions and trillions of years
Are you going to tell me you wouldn’t eventually stop giving a shit about that microscopic speck of time at the start of your existence?

Honest question, are you 17 years old?

Ehm, maybe I will remember it? Are you God? Do you know?

Attached: B81C4B18-EA07-4234-A302-CA920FDC587E.jpg (512x422, 29K)

When are we getting the sequel to this absolute kino?

Attached: TPOTC.jpg (3000x1250, 2.39M)

Yes I am and no, you will not. Now kill your entire family and yourself so that you may be saved.

>he thinks time runs in the afterlife linearly exactly the same as time on Earth with 24 hours per day 365 days per year
you must be still in high schol

You aren't an ant to God, it's a father/son relationship. The father wants loyality and respect but loves his child greatly. We don't know exactly how heaven will be but Adam and Eve had regular conversations with God, implying some degree of free will for humans. God doesn't want puppets.

But I'm going to Hell if I do that?

cwinge

Attached: E38C6D47-03C7-477D-AB48-F601CF3885C7.jpg (785x757, 38K)

I will allow it, as I, the LORD, have commanded you to do so.

>they still think they don’t have free will because they think God pre determines every event
>they still think God made us for the sake of making us
The sooner you figure these out the sooner you understand the reasons for heaven and hell.

Attached: 93552F7D-6D3B-4C14-88A4-CC1D29FD7FF2.jpg (726x771, 386K)

being THIS retarded

Mel Gibson is a Catholic and they don't go to heaven.

You sound like Satan to me, I can smell the stench

No, I'm in my 20's.

Satan, unlike god, has never commanded anybody to murder a member of their immediate family.

Attached: 1664522F-E424-4C26-BF19-0014B7A50495.jpg (640x360, 78K)

Cringe

Ironic, but true. Satan has no actual power. Anything he's ever been able to get away with God allowed him to do.

heaven isn't real kek

try saying that out loud on your death bed

Belief in heaven and hell is the biggest cope of all time.

>Christian
>Posts on Yea Forums

Attached: 1557111857682.jpg (246x235, 13K)

@118954154
bet you thought this was a revolutionary post

uhmmmmm sweaty, this is 4channel

In fairness, death is an awful thing, it makes sense that people would create religion to help cope with the loss of loved ones.

And yet there is still porn, a tool of Satan.

>Why yes, I am a Presbyterian Calvinist who affirms the Westminster Confession of Faith. How could you tell?

Attached: 1551690495858.jpg (1080x1331, 216K)

Exactly. I hope that the people and animals I loved and lost are still existing somehow but there's zero evidence that it is the case. It's something people believe in to cope with their grief.

Blessed and Breadpilled

You can have christ. I have accepted Sneed in my heart

Attached: Clearence_Thomas.png (618x532, 206K)

every christcuck is a gay faggot for worshiping a dude