I shit myself 1 hour ago in the cinema, no one noticed until i got out into the parking lot...

>slow motion sequence
>white doves flying
>flecks of shit spackling the camera

Why the fuck are you all so socially retarded? Just GO TO THE FUCKING BATHROOM. What the FUCK went wrong in your lives? You antisocial faggots are societal leeches.

Kek
What the fuck how does this make you shit yourself?
Do you have ibs or something?

It's too bad you aren't Indian, everyone would have just assumed it was your culture.

>Shits at the picts

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>Why the fuck are you all so socially retarded? Just GO TO THE FUCKING BATHROOM. What the FUCK went wrong in your lives? You antisocial faggots are societal leeches.

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>i guess i stood up from the cushion the wrong way
mate, you don't shit yourself from standing up the wrong way. Change your diet.

>if you don't shit your pants you are a basedboy

What? Yes you do lmao. Are you really so perpetually constipated and always puckering your butthole? Wtf

>not shitting your pants in public makes you a numale
This says a lot about our society

I'd let someone else shit in my pants before willingly socializing with you, dumb fuck.

>yes you do
>implying it’s abnormal to not shit yourself
You should probably see a doctor, that isn’t natural

retarded thread

Funny though

>NOOOOOOO SOMEONE MIGHT HEAR ME SHITTING IN THE BATHROOM STALL

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Stop eating fatty fucking foods, your poor liver is going on fucking strike

Did you even go to school? People shit themselves all the time.
>can I go to the bathroom?
>Is it an emergency?
>yes.
Why do you think they ask that? Sorry your digestive system is so fucked you squeeze out a styrofoam log every 3 days but it’s obvious you’re the one who needs to fix your diet.

based chad shitting his pants to own the libs

>go to my local kinotorium to enjoy the latest superhero film
>Bucket of crab legs and my special anvil under my left arm
>My trusty bird of prey is perched on the falconer's glove on my right hand
>the kinotorium's armed guard challenges me to the customary game of Twister to determine my seating in the theater
>feeling confident with left foot blue, right foot yellow
>this should ensure me with optimal seating
>The armed guard spins the wheel
>"left hand green"
>I break out into a cold sweat
>I try to bend down to make my move and my crab legs go tumbling onto the twister mat
>getting glares from the other people waiting to play
>I start to stutter and try to gather up my crab legs when my anvil slips out from under my arm and lands on my foot
>I let out a screech of pain, which startles my falcon
>it tears the falconer's glove from my hand and attacks the armed guard
>the guard takes out his AR-15 and shoots my cinema falcon right between the eyes
>have to walk past the entire line in shame, crabless and without my mandatory movie-going falcon
I've never been so utterly humiliated

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Dick, is that you?

Yeah little kids whose bodies don’t function properly yet shit themselves
It’s unacceptable if you’re older than grade school, probably before then
Adults should only have a chance of shitting themselves if they have food poisoning or a medical condition

Serious question. When was the last time you shit yourself Yea Forums? About 6 months ago for me. Luckily i was at home though so i could just change my undies

I have never shat myself since I came out of my diapers, stop being a retard.

Not even a tricky fart? Get real.

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When I was a small child
How the fuck do you shit yourself in your own home?
What the fuck is wrong with you just go to the toilet.
What the fuck do you eat?

>having clogged bowels is for adults

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6 or so years ago. But I was naked and running to the toilet so I shat on the floor.

Oh come on. Not even a little dribble?

A fart that goes wrong. Too busy. Sleeping. I mean is shitting yourself really that hard to believe?

>not shitting yourself means your bowels are clogged
>not having control of your bowels and just going to the bathroom
I didn’t realise how depressing you retards are
No wonder so many of the people here are incels

>not wearing diapers at the cinema

>Sitting down in an empty public toilet cubicle taking a shit
>Some guy takes the stall next to me
>Feel awkward, so I try to break the ice and ask him if he likes movies
>He doesn't respond
>Start getting nervous, repeat my question but this time louder
>He says "not really"
>Ask him if he's heard of Drive
>He says "No"
>Feel kinda mad and hit the wall of the stall that he's on in a fit of rage
>Instantly regret it
>Say "Sorry"
>He doesn't respond
>Feel really bad
>Hold some money under the stall as a peace offering
>He doesn't take it
>Tell him to take it
>He says no
>Feel really freaked out so I wipe, get up and leave
>Wait outside the door of the toilet to apologise
>See him come out
>Say "I just want to apologise"
>He says "Fuck off"

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This LARP needs more work

Several years ago on a beach trip. It was the night before we were to leave so I got utterly hammered. Went for a piss, everything is going fine and dandy, and then I realize I can feel something running down my leg. Liquid shit is leaking out of my ass as I'm standing there peeing. Had to ruin a towel just to save myself. I didnt even shower until the day after we left despite spraying feces down my leg Such is life with a weak stomach.

Fart goes wrong I can accept to be fair, it’s not happened to me but I can understand that.
>sleeping
I’ve never known this happen to anyone who isn’t a very young child or senior citizen but I guess it’s possible if you have a shit diet/ ruined intestines
>too busy
What the fuck does this mean?
How would this happen?
Are you cartman in the WoW episode of South Park?

>I was naked and running to the toilet
What's the atory here?

>incels incels wahh
Must suck getting exposed like this and having literally no arguments.

This is America USA where astronauts drive around in diapers stalking and terrorizing the general public

>what’s the story here
He was naked and running to the toilet.

>LA
No one would have known the difference. You could have strolled slowly away and just blended in with all the other shit.
Btw, did you get into your car? Is the upholstery ruined forever?

I don’t understand how I’m the one with no arguments because I’m not an autistic retard who shits himself
It is not normal and I don’t understand how you could possibly think it is
Get a better diet or see a doctor

Wait is it really a hard thing to believe someone has never shit themselves? Then again I am autistic and went to special ed for most of my life and only recently graduated high school so my expierence with non-autists is lacking. So is shitting yourself a common thing among non-autists?

>as hominem
>steals my exact argument
Obviously you’re the one who needs to change your diet. This is embarrassing everyone’s laughing at you.

>apologise
>ise
This explains everything

I was like 14 walking home from Taco Bell. Awful fucking food. I penguined walked for a good 10 minutes and had to throw away some nice jeans

I also blamed the smell on my dog when my mom got home

Well la de da mr Gucci underware. Not all of us have perfect bowels like you

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I don't empty my bowels into my pants or anything, but I'd say there's an "escape" at least once every two months or so.

highly underrated post

>shit diet/ ruined intestines
How does it mean this? You cant control your body when you are asleep. Thats why you are supposed to piss and shit before you go to bed. But say its been a long day and you are just incredibly tired, is it really unfathomable that you could forget?

>what does this mean
How dont you understand. If you are simply too busy and cant make it on time.

Basedboys here don’t know how free it feels to shit yourself once in awhile. Stay mad faggots

>shitting your pants every couple of months
Wow

Sometimes I shit myself just because I like how it feels

It's not full on shitting your pants, just a little shit water gets out of my asshole when I try to fart, that's all. Don't act like you don't know about it.

Why? If I have to shit I can hold it in for potentially hours if I have to. During my exams you fucking bet I had to shit, the thing is I can hold it in for half an hour.
I mean for fuks sake do you just hold shits in all day? Just go to the toilet when you have to and take an emergency shit if you're going to a theater. Is that really that fucking hard?

Like I have seen autists stereotyped as retards who shit themselves but this is the first time I have ever heard anybody talk about unironically shitting themselves. Hell, I even thought the OP was just a joke. Is this actually a real thjing or are you guys being sarcastic or something? As far as autism goes I'm fairly light and can detect sarcasm just fine usually so I'm a bit lost here

>this dude is literally mocking someone for not shitting his pants by standing up and acting as if not shitting your pants is a sign of poor health
I seriously hope this is just bait.

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Ok you’re obviously baiting, good job, you got me
No way anybody thinks shitting themself is normal

Maybe you have some problems with your colon, get that checked out. I have had no fucking expierence of shit leaking out my ass randomly

are American schools really full of kids shitting themselves constantly?

I don't like using public restrooms, it's gross. And it doesn't happen when I've got a solid, it's basically when you've got diarrhea and the stomach bubbles, you start farting to relieve some pressure, but that last one has some juice behind it, and it gets out. It isn't that big a deal, people in this thread acting like it doesn't happen to them are putting on airs.

Accidents happen user. Honestly shitting yourself probably once every 1-1.5 years is probably pretty common

btw jk im not an autist lmao

dis one funne

>do one day fast
>break fast with protein powder and fruit
>'fart'

From now on I start with a carrot or something

Maybe I think that public restrooms are still less gross than shitting yourself, I’d rather go into a disgusting room than cover my clothing and skin in my own faeces
What the fuck is wrong with you people? and I thought gays were gross

shitting yourself is based. used to do it for years at a time

Have sex

It's not "covered", it just a small amount of liquid. It's like if someone filled a bottle cap up with ass juice, and dumped it into your boxers. I've experienced both, and shitting in a public restroom is a LOT worse than that.

When I was in grade 10 or 11. I'm not very tolerant of caffeine, so when I have too much of it, or I haven't had it for a while, I get diarrhea. I woke up at like 6am to study for a test. I was sweating and clenching my ass cheeks since noon. I've never used public washrooms outside of when I was 4 or 5, because they're dirty as fuck. Especially school ones. By the time class was out, my stomach was swollen and my shirt was soaking wet. Walk home from school was 15 minutes. My house was on top of a hill. So when I was 2 minutes from my house, the strain of walking up the hell made me shit my hands. I could feel it running down my right leg so I tucked my pants inside my socks to contain it. Went and dumped my shit underwear, sock, and shoe in the bathtub. Couldn't shit in the toilet because that would mean covering the toilet with shit and the floor with shit because my entire lower body was covered in shit. The worst part about diarrhea was that it makes your anus slick with shit, so you can't even hold it in. Once it's loose, you empty it completely. I shat the rest out in the bathtub.

shitting yourself is a polite greeting when you meet someone for the first time in America. as ab autist I understand your social skills might be underdeveloped

How bad are your public restrooms, I’ve never seen one so bad that I’d rather have faeces on my clothes instead

desu it sounds like something that would happen to him. Beeyitch

>have sex response
Ah I see, you shit yourself because you’re a tranny with a ruined pelvic area

again jk im not autistic lmao

>not shitting yourself is "putting on airs"

how far we've strayed from god

A couple years ago I bought some coke from a stranger at a bar, and it turned out to be cut with a ton of baby laxative. When I got home as I was walking up the stairs I just suddenly shit myself without any warning. That's the only time I've ever shit myself since I was probably 7 or so

what

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a few month ago, i trusted a fart that was actually a shart. Didnt even smell bad it was all oily and i had a diarrhea aftewards