What if we just put all the students with evil, psychotic tendencies into a single house?

>common room is in the dungeons near the lake, and contains skulls and low-hanging green lamps
>Their ghost is the Bloody Baron, who killed his love the Grey Lady out of rejection and then killed himself

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fortunately, House points are deductible.

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blaise zabini is the only black kid in hogwarts, he's in slytherin

HARRY

*ahem fuck nepotism I mean slytherin*

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Black witches and wizards don't go to school.

Name one single fat hufflepuff

whats the wizard equivalent of a drive-by?

he said calmly.

>Isn't Hermoine a booknerd?
>Isn't Ron a nice guy?
>Isn't Chang Chong evil?
the houses were arbitrary. congratulations on misinterpreting a series aimed at literal children

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>good old fashioned hardwork
>Snape literally favoritising his house immensely and giving tons of points to malfoy while deducting points from other houses (mainly gryffindor)

>book 6
WAAAAA DUMBELDORE IS DEAD WWAAAAAAA
>book 7
lol he can still talk to us in his portrait

Image after a quick nob job at lunch with his bf and a little spray gets in the beard and having to walk around all day wondering if people can smell your cum beard.

Was that even in the movie? Or was it just a book thing?

It was definitely in the book many times. Don't remember it in the movie though, so probably not.

Robbing Ollivander at wandpoint then firing the killing curse at him when he triggers the magic alarm.

not a drive-by

its really not an easy question,
for instance:
are cities a no-broom zone?
and deh spell doesnt seem to be somethin you can cast "on-the-go" so to speak

May I remind you that in the first book a group of first graders were punished for the heinous crime of walking through the castle at night by being sent to the Forbidden Forest on another night..with them a retarded half giant who is shitty at magic and a dog that is explicitally described as a coward. This forest is generally a deadly place in which giant spiders, hostile centaurs and supposedly werewolves roam. At this specific point in the story it's especially dangerous, though, since an unknown menace is murdering unicorns which is considered pure evil. The first graders then, as punishment for walking through the castle at night, accompany the retarded half giant and his dog on their mission to track down the cruel monstrosity responsible for slaughtering the unicorns. Oh, and they also split up. Some of the kids go with the dog and are under no adult supervision what so ever.

So literally what every other teacher who's head of a house does?

And they say women can’t write.

I pity they let the old punishments die. Was a time detention would find you hanging by your thumbs in the dungeons. God, I miss the screaming.

>>What if we just put all the students with evil, psychotic tendencies into a single house?

>nobody:

>Literally no one:

>not even a single soul:

>Dumbledore:"10000 POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR!"

Snape did it very overtly while McGonagall was 100% fair and impartial, often punishing her own students. Other heads of houses weren't shown to do that if I remember correctly.

>What if we create a high-speed, high-attitude, high-adrenaline team game in which one player on his own decides the entire game and also your performance is based on the money you spent on your broomstick lol

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>one player on his own decides the entire game
not true
>your performance is based on the money you spent on your broomstick
also not true

>Also, on multiple occasions CHILDREN DIE OR DISAPPEAR while playing it

They were different times

the latter is very true
you read the books by any chance?

What? Harry literally had a faster broom than the rest of his team because reasons. In one book, Malfoy's dad buys the Slytherin squad brand new brooms, and they dominate shit.

I get that reference

Filch becomes a far funnier character when you get older.

Fuck off. 99% of games are won by catching the snitch. It just gives way too many points.

The game ends automatically when the snitch is caught. It's entirely possible to lose even if you catch the snitch, but it's extremely rare.

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where'd you get this picture of me

I know the game ends by catching the snitch you dumb Potter nigger. It's just that the sport is horrendously designed. It should give MAYBE 50 points or something.

Rowling made quidditch intentionally dumb because she hates sports.

lmao thats gandalf not dumledore XD

No shit it's horrendously designed. They literally made up the rules as they went along. It's even canon that there are over 700 fouls in the game and growing, and that the longest game on record was 3 months because the game only ends when the snitch is caught or the teams agree to end it.

I don’t think you get it. An exceptional seeker catches the snitch early and secured consistent wins. Good seekers can also steal the snitch when the other finds it, like Malfoy tried. But the main game is earning and maintaining a 150+ point lead then the Seeker is in the awkward position of not ending the game but cheering for his team to close the gap, and eventually choosing to accept defeat gracefully. Hence the part about week long games and the quidditch World Cup loss being taken quickly.

Spare me your pilpul. Every single match in the books but one is won by catching the snitch.

>b-b-but there is some offhand comment about matches sometimes taking months

Weirdly enough this never happens with the games Harry is involved with. The truth of the matter is that Rowling is a dumb boomer woman with no idea about sports and created the game in such a way that Harry Sue could be the center of attention every time.

that's just because Harry and Malfoy are leagues above the rest of their team

Lets get one thing clear if Fred and George weren’t busting their asses keeping the bludger off Harry the only attention he’d be the center of is Madam Pomfrey’s.

>the houses were arbitrary
No they weren’t
Snakes are evil in western culture, lions are good and majestic

How would a game of Quidditch not be won by catching the snitch? Why would a seeker intentionally catch it if their team is over 150 points behind?
This shit makes no sense

Fun fact: JK Rowling originally intended for the three main characters to be sorted into three different houses but scrapped the idea because she couldn't make the narrative work.

>Gryffindor for the main characters, who are brave and true
>Ravenclaw for the side characters, who bring outside perspective
>Slytherin for the token bullies and evil characters
>Hufflepuff for the rest lol

Congrats you figured it out.

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thanks kind sir, upvoted

Or perhaps ambition and hard work seem evil to those who are not willing to put in any effort themselves?

The one they replaced one of Malfoy's goons with was a nigga.

Is there any form of media (fan fiction, comic, whatever) that deals with the concept of a magical school shooting?
Sounds pretty fun desu.

>Isn't Chang Chong evil?
They threatened her family and gave her the truth serum.

A thousand years or more ago
When I was newly sewn,
There lived four wizards of renown,
Whose names are still well known:

Bold Gryffindor, from wild moor,
Fair Ravenclaw, from glen,
Sweet Hufflepuff, from valley broad,
Shrewd Slytherin, from fen.

They shared a wish, a hope, a dream,
They hatched a daring plan
To educate young sorcerers
Thus Hogwarts School began.

Now each of these four founders
Formed their own house, for each
Did value different virtues
In the ones they had to teach.

By Gryffindor, the bravest were
Prized far beyond the rest;
For Ravenclaw, the cleverest
Would always be the best;

For Hufflepuff, hard workers were
Most worthy of admission;
And power-hungry Slytherin
Loved those of great ambition.

While still alive they did divide
Their favourites from the throng,
Yet how to pick the worthy ones
When they were dead and gone?

Twas Gryffindor who found the way,
He whipped me off his head
The founders put some brains in me
So I could choose instead!

Now slip me snug about your ears,
I've never yet been wrong,
I'll have a look inside your mind
And tell where you belong!

>Hufflepuff for the rest lol
A puff is the protagonist of Fantastic Beasts.

MINUS 5000000000000 POINTS TO SLYTHERIN YOU NAZI RACIST SEXIST INCELS

Didn't Rowling literally admit she made up Quidditch because she was annoyed at her bf of the time liking sports? In the typical petty woman way she then goes and comes up with the most retarded "sport" she can.

>McGonagall's comments to Dolores Umbridge in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, where she says she had been working at the school for "thirty-nine years"
>However, in Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald, Albus and Minerva were presented as basically being a contemporary
Did this bitch get senile during these last few years?

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>Bold Gryffindor, from wild moor
Gryffindor was a nigger?

She didn't write the books, user. She used a ghostwriter.

I am surprised there has never been a plot point of someone trying to become immortal by endlessly duplicating themselves with this magic.

Wasn't he borderline Slytherin back in the day?

>Every single match in the books but one is won by catching the snitch.
Nope. Ginny catches the snitch against Hufflepuff when Gryffindor lost.
>b-b-but there is some offhand comment about matches sometimes taking months
>Weirdly enough this never happens with the games Harry is involved with
The game where Ginny catches the snitch, was only 23 minutes long, which Harry/KJ Rowling points out was a short game. Every second of the quidditch games aren't covered in the books.

>What if we build the school next to a forest full of dangerous magical creatures with an appetite for children?

Why the fuck would you be grabbing the snitch if the 150 points still makes you lose?

She's a woman

Because the quidditch score in each game adds up to a total score and the house with the most total score wins the Quidditch Cup. The points they earn in quidditch matches also counts towards the house points in the House Cup. So it's better to lose with 10 points than 300 points.

So Harry is being a retard grabbing the snitch early instead of letting his team farm points?

>The game where Ginny catches the snitch, was only 23 minutes long, which Harry/KJ Rowling points out was a short game.
Wait, so the game was 23 minutes long
And Ginny caught the snitch, which is worth 150 points, but still lost.
So the other team scored a minimum of 160 points, each goal is worth 10, so that's 16 goals.
16 goals? In 23 minutes? With possession reverting to Gryffindor after every goal?
Don't make me larf, mate

He's a glory hog. He's not a team player.

The thing is that the other team's seeker is also looking for the snitch.
Ron was a shitty keeper beacuse of zero confidence, and they had shitty beaters due to the Weasley twins being banned.

did the old wizard man every do any magic? he should have been blasting all sorts of cool spells

>imagine if we let this hitler-esque wizard be one of the founders of our school houses whos obsessed with maintaining the purity of the wizard bloodline and despises race mixers that he turned incel and killed another founder of the school houses because she didnt like him

yeah sounds like a good idea

What would you rather have?

Aveda Kedavra?
Or you know, a straight up gun?

Gryffindor and Slytherin were the chad houses. They both have big-dick energy. Gryfiindor chads are about their ideals.
Slytherin chads are about their goals. Ying and Yang of chads.

Conversely, the same is for Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, but they are the S O Y houses.
beta-virgins, but one is academics and muh-knowledge, and probably the incel house.
and the other is friendship-is-magic, and is a hive of low-t and cuckoldry.

>also the evil house has no black children
Didn't they replace the white Posey or Pansy or whatever with a black in the later movies?

He fought Voldemort in the Ministry, other than that he basically just did party tricks iirc.

The actor who played Crabbe was dropped from the films following his conviction for possession of cannabis so they replaced him with another character from the books, Blaise Zabini.

Psychopaths goes to Slytherin.
Aspies goes to Ravenclaw.
Narcissists goes to Gryffindor.
Well-rounded decent people goes to Hufflepuff.

I'll take the spell Peter Pettigew used to kill 13 muggles. Clearly the most powerful spell observed.

Do you have to be physically holding your wand to do magic? IF you had say a rifle with a bayonet mount and you stuck your wand in there could you still do wingardium leviosa by swish and flciking your gun?

Probbably some explotion spell that most wizards can make a shield charm against. That's probably how Sirius Black survived.

i dont get it all that hand waving, what about a simple spell that just turns things, and you cast it at your enemies neck from a block away

She confirmed it was canon though, along with the Cursed Child, which was garbage.

When will we see the inevitable Donald Blumpf wizard character in her new books?

Alright so imagine this scenario: Your team is down 160:0. You are the seeker and you see the snitch. The other seeker also sees it. What tactic would you use to ensure the snitch isn't caught until your chasers score a couple of goals, and the other teams seekers doesn't catch it either?

What she thinks is irrelevant. The only thing that is canon is the 7 books and the stuff she wrote on Pottermore before she got brain-damage

well seeing as fouls aren't a thing, repeatedly ram the other skeeker until your team scores within 150

What was dumbledore’s tax policy?

Was the bloody baron an incel?

Show the other seeker your tits

you guys forget Hermonie is black or something?

>smart
>black
user, I know it's a fantasy book for children, but come on.

Well done Slytherin, well done...
"To all Gryffindors... Cheers. Cheers, my friends. It has been an honour. Cheers!"

Dumbledore fixes his eyes on the Slytherin table, completely ignoring Ravenclaw and the other one

"Now Slytherin... I know we have had our differences, but your ambition and hard work is truly something to behold. Admirable!"

the Slytherins are cautious. Dumbledore usually follows up a praise with some humiliation and injustice

"Indeed, I have a special treat for you all because of these traits. It's so good, that you'll love it despite its Muggle origin. It is a large apparatus which all of you can fit in which will confer all of you a deeply unique experience that shall benefit us all. A chamber of sorts. I have had that room over there fitted with the apparatus. Move along, children, shuffle into it now. You too, Snape*

the Slytherins flood into the room, some cautious and some excited

Dumbledore slams the door shut and enchants it to be locked and airtight. He turns to the other houses

"And that special treat? That "unique experience" the Slytherins shall all experience and you all won't?*

"...Why, it's... DEATH! FUCK SLYTHERIN! THE FINAL SOLUTION TO THE SLYTHERIN MENACE BEGINS NOW! PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL, TURN ON THE GAS! YES, YES, WELL DONE, SLYTHERIN! WELL DO E SLYTHERIN FOR DYING SO WELL! SIX MILLION POINTS TO A HOUSE THAT SHALL CEASE TO EXIST IN 5 MINUTES!" He said calmly

as Dumbledore's mouth foams during his blood-crazed tirade, the hall erupts into applause and a massive, inter-house orgy ensues. The Slytherins begin dying in the gas chamber. As Malfoy chokes on his own blood, Harry proves himself to be a sexual dominant member of the orgy

Dumbledore looks on with pride

*Years later Harry Potter tells recounts these events to his son, Albus, with Ginny smiling warmly at the memory.

"And that's how Dumbledore exterminated the Slytherin scum. HEIL GODRIC! Dumbledore truly was the greatest headmaster of them all, and a good friend"

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Uh did you forget you were gay along?

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There are seven hundred Quidditch fouls.
>you guys forget Hermonie is black or something?
As I wrote, everything after Rowling's brain-damage is non-canon.

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Now listen Harry you specky little git, the Ministry of Magic will be conducting an inspection of the school grounds today. Under no circumstances do you let slip to the inspectors that there was a massive three-headed dog in the forbidden section of the third floor. Or that Salazar Slytherin hid a huge serpent that kills Muggle-born witches and wizards in a hidden chamber beneath the school. Or that our head gamekeeper has secretly been keeping giant spiders as pets. And certainly don't tell them that Lord Voldemort was lurking around the Forbidden Forrest preying on unicorns. The Ministry is so far up my ass they know when I shit before I do. I'm serious Harry, I can't go to Azkaban at my age, I won't last one night. So not one fucking word! Otherwise I'm sending you on the first train home to your child-abusing aunt and uncle!

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>One (1) Asian character
>Of fucking course Harry wants that sideways pussy
>Damn near name her Ching Chong
>Put her in the smart kids house

How did Jake Rollins get away with this, not to mention the depictions of goblins as the bankers.

>what is F1 + "team orders"

I dunno, people have survived gunshot wounds before but Avada is a guaranteed kill though. I'd say Avada for 1v1 and assassinations, and guns for everything else.

I always wonder how the hell the ministry worked in the order of the phoenix when they try harry on the fact that he had to perform a patronus charm to save him and dudley from the dementors with the only case against him being "pssh no such thing as dementors outside azkaban clearly harry is guilty".

So what would have happened if he didn't do that and both him and dudley got straight up kiss of death'd? Would the ministry be like, "well clearly despite all signs and evidence pointing to death by dementor what with their fucked up faces and souls literally getting sucked out of them, this clearly can't be the case because there's no dementors past azkaban so the conclusion is these boys gave themselves the kiss of death even though thats literally impossible and complete absurd CASE CLOSED!"

Perhaps restate gun into .50 cal AMR.
.50 cal rounds travel faster than AV as well.

Blood Baron sounds based and redpilled

uhhh no u bigot, snakes/serpents represent both good and evil as a duality

Well its never too early to introduce them to reality, bacause good connections is all you really need

The Yorkshire moors, you absolute wazzock. He was likely a violent alcoholic that bitched about how good things were back in the good old days.

>what if we just gave clear favouritism to Harry Potter at every available opportunity?

Thats just cope introduced later, originally it was just a filler house that has 0 impact on anything ever

Hagward did it with an umbrella so yeah probably

It would've probably led to a investigation where Umbridge would've have been convicted.
This literally never happens at any time in the books. It's rather thr other way around. Snape treats him like shit even though he obviously suffers from PTSD from the 4th book and forward, McGonagall never gives him any advantages either.

Would definitely choose Avada for assassinations and quiet kills then.

Can wizzids even die to bullets? Hagrid says something along the lines that there's no way Harry's parents could die in something as mundane as a car crash. Just wondering if they're more resilient than muggles due to magic powers

Also, if not, what's stopping Harry & the group from using funs on the death eaters? More effective than stuns or killing spells.

Also, do magical beings have mana or where do they draw their power from?

Why didn't the "wizards" just cast themselves out of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises? Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert. Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
>a-at least the books were good though
"No!" The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs." I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

I assume Hagrid was just angry at Vernon for telling Harry such bullshit.

So they could have died in a car crash?

Of course.
Vernon just lied to Harry and Hagrid is a man of poor impulse control.

>Also, do magical beings have mana or where do they draw their power from?
It's implied that you need to have some kind of magical power and concentration to perform the most powerful spells, like avada kedavra. Otherwise all the death eaters could do it and just slaughter everybody during the battle of hogwarts, but JK Rowling never specified any of it.

>completely ignoring Ravenclaw and the other one
>and the other one

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It’s never mentioned why Hagrid thought so, other than his high opinion of them.
Wizards don’t seem to be any more durable than the average human, but it’s possible Hagrid meant that they’d have had contingency spells or enchantments that would prevent a car crash actually doing anything to them.
Or he may have just been pissed off and ranting.

There’s also nothing like mana or magical power levels in the setting, only knowledge, expertise and, in the unforgivables, force of will.

Iirc Harry tries it on Bellatrix (or Crucio, not sure) and she tells him it won't work cause he really has to mean it.
He's a good boy after all.

They probably could've apparated if they ever would've been in a car crash.

>play Hogwarts Mystery
>choose Slytherine
>still a good boi who gets shit on by Snape and the generic Slytherine bully

Why even give you the choice to be in Slytherine?

>Or he may have just been pissed off and ranting.
That's literally all this is. He knew Voldemort killed them and that Vernon was lying. I don't know you guys are reading so much into that part.

>but it’s possible Hagrid meant that they’d have had contingency spells or enchantments that would prevent a car crash actually doing anything to them.
Wizards probably cast spells like the ones on the Knight Bus before they drive.

I always got the gist that the unforgivables require a certain mindset to actually cast, meaning Voldemort is so dangerous because he can spam AK without giving a single shit, and the torture of the longbottoms was so heinous because they really believed it was right to torture people into insanity.
It really is a subject that should have been gone over more. The line in book 4 about magical power has sparked so much power level wank it’s unreal, despite them never being alluded to again once in the whole series.

Why did dumbledolf respawn with a white robe, white beard and white hair after he died to the demon?

Because he needed to guide Rand to destroy the Death Star

Let's just release them into the interior of the country

So you only need to be a cunt to cast the killing spell? Why didn't Dumbledore use it?

>What if I make a point of locking that specific demographic of students in a dungeon during my billion dollar series climax and then get mad at FUCKIN DRUMPF for doing the same thing to vet organized criminals irl

I still would plow this ditzy moo like a desperate cabbage farmer

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If people are too lazy to put on seatbelts consistently, wizards wouldn't cast their protection spells as idealistically as all that. Unless Hagrid had ridden with the Potters in a car before and James and Lilly gave him the scolding of a lifetime for not fastening his protection charms before pulling out of the driveway..

>meaning Voldemort is so dangerous because he can spam AK without giving a single shit
I don't think so. If he could he would've done that in the duel with Dumbledore, but neither of them are spamming Avada Kedavra, most likely because it causes som ekind of power drainage.
>despite them never being alluded to again once in the whole series.
''Dumbledore is an extremely powerful wizard,'' Snape muttered
Chapter 24: Occlumency, The Order of the Phoenix

I think she said he wouldn't be a wizard in the first place but he's also somehow worse than Voldemort. Speaking of which, I thought she was more clued on how the media operates since the news thing played such a big story in the 4-6 books, mainstream media turning on the chosen one and so on. Not saying blumpf is the chosen one but there's plenty of misinformation on a daily basis

BTFO

AK vs AK47?

>Harry, did I ever tell you about time-turners? they are magical devices that allow the user to travel backwards in time! This incredible power can even be used to save loved ones from death, as you and your friends discovered with Buckbeak. Despite having an entire closet full of time-turners, the Ministry never once thought to use one to stop Voldemort's reign of terror. It would have been as easy as using one after he killed one of his victims, say, your parents, and ambushing him with a team of aurors before he kills them. Alas, time travel is simply too dangerous to meddle with. It should only be used for the express purpose of letting a little girl take extra classes one semester. And only if she is a good friend.

what the fuck do these points even mean? how do students benefit from it?

She didn't. She got sent to a reeducation camp after the release of the 7th book. It's why she's so "woke" now.

They're good boy points. Get the most and you win a trophy.

They get to rub it into the losers

The one problem Harry Potter doesn't suffer from. Voldemort is obsessed with him because of things out of his control and it only makes his life worse. The only thing he excels at is a side activity sport that doesn't impact much besides a part in Goblet of Fire. He's brave but pretty much every kid's book and YA protag is brave.

>Slytherin
>Chad house
No
Its like this:
>Gryffindor:
Chad house
>Hufflepuff:
Normalfag house
>Ravenclaw:
Onions/Reddit house
>Slytherin:
Evil incel house

Extra servings of tendies for all memebers of the winning house at the year-end commencement banquet in the great hall

>No picture
Cringe.

Switch Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw and it's pretty close. Hufflepuff literally touts itself as the most inclusive and accepting of everyone. Ravenclaw has standards at least.

The AK47 has rapid fire so that

>as you and your friends discovered with Buckbeak
It was a closed time loop. Buckbeak never died.

McGonnacunt gifts him his broom in the first year.

Are you being serious?

Yes.
Because he's the most talented quidditch player in a century, and probably wouldn't have had any opportunity to get one himself.

He literally couldn't move against Grindlewald because he had a GAY SEX NONAGGRESSION PACT with him. He just paid an animal tamer to fight the magic world's second greatest threat of all time as Grindlewald murdered thousands of wizards.

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It's always gonna be a closed timeloop with this sort of time travel logic you doofus.

He literally was shown a vault filled with gold coins out the ass and bought out the snack cart on the train swinging around his big dick in front of the other first year students. He could have easily bought a fucking Nimbus 2000

Imagine being assigned to a filler house like Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw.

I doubt Hogwarts was gonna let him go to Diagon Alley in the middle of a term to buy a broom.

He did spam AK vs Dumbledore. Dumbledore countered by bringing statues to life to block it.

>Yeah um... LOVE protected Harry
Yet everybody else died from Avada Kedavra including all children.
Was nobody else except Harry loved or what?

That's not a punishment, that's a fucking reward.

He was a good friend.

Not loved enough for their mom to die for the spell.

Nobody else had the chance to sacrifice themselves for someone they loved.

I don't know if 4-5 tries is spamming. If it wasn't anything that prevents him from firing killing spells all day he wouldn't have fled. Dumbledore would've have run out of things to protect himself with after a while.

"Powerful" could also mean the dude has a lot of clout with the ministry. You think if he was some some middling patsy he'd be able to get away with all the shit going on at hogwarts?

Why didn't someone just shoot Voldemort and the Death Eaters with a gun during the Battle of Fagwarts?

>have spells that can do extreme shit like manipulating people and taking away their memories
>but DUDE we need potions to shapeshift LMAO
The existence of potions in a universe where Wands can produce limitless spells is fucking retarded. This is why whenever you introduce magic in your universe, make sure there are clear rules and boundaries

Dumbledore had already been shunned by the ministry by the time Snape said that.
Guns would probably not work where there's so much magic concentrated at one spot. Read ore about it in Hogwarts: A History.
Hermione changes Ron's appearance in the last book with her wand.

Hitler isn't canon

Hufflepuff is for the stupid kids

Dean Thomas

You forgot the niggest of all the nigs?

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>HEIL GODRIC!
Ken
I've seen this pasta before but I'm still kekking at it

>whos obsessed with maintaining the purity of the wizard bloodline and despises race mixers

People only started thinking this was a bad thing like 50 years ago

Who is Ken?

Go reread that part. All Harry hears is the axe on the block and Hagrid wailing, which he later discovers is the frustrated executioner hitting the empty block and Hagrid wailing in relief.

the user is indeed correct. Prisoner of Azkaban probably has the best time travel depiction in any movie ever. It's also completely kino and the best of the franchise

Based Walder

I realize that. It's no different than the closed loop of the first two terminator movies and in countless other time travel stories.

>imagine being this retarded
The other team's seeker is also looking for the snitch, and if he gets it, you'll be at least 300 points behind.

Has that bong school girl worked since the fithly jew assfucked her

It's simply because Wizards hardly ever get into cars, because they are too mundane a way to get around if you're magical.

>Twas
youtube.com/watch?v=x7tyvMJ-RW8

>brain-damage
We prefer the term 'Woke', please and thank you.

HAND THEM OVER YOU OLD FUCK

GIVE US WHAT WE DESERVE

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Every capitalist, industrialist, financier, and entrepreneur revered in American society would be in Slytherin, so you can take your commie bullshit trying portray it as some "evil" group and shove it up your ass.

same way a modern court can find that a teenager committed suicide with a cops gun with their hands cuffed

That wouldve actually been pretty smart, make malfoy a protagonist too and you could’ve had representation for all the four houses instead of the generic garbage she made

And they should all be in the dungeons too, what's your point?

Yes yes well done tv well done
However what do you call this wizard fighting stance

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Holy kek when you put it like that, it's hilarious.

What if Gandalf was headmaster? What would be the tax policy? Would be make the students pay rent for the damn door? Would be state that it's a wizard eat wizard world out there and he's fucking death eater because caspere knew this?

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Your mom

this made the most sense though since Rowling is English and the only sport they really have to base off anything is soccer, which is fucking terrible.

Are there any books for adults that have the comfiness of Harry Potter?

I've heard someone say that was supposed to be her relative or something.

at first Godric hated Salazar's extreme ways, but after he noticed that Rowena and Helga were dating black dudes, he quietly made sure that the house of Slitherin would stay at Hogwarts.

The bludgers were a fucked up concept in themselves. A pair of iron balls that are designed to smash into players.

There already is one...Voldemort...damn...

So from what we see, Voldemort is usually alone. Why didnt the Order of the Phoenix ever try to assasinate him?

Seriously, just have Snape tell him he needs an urgent one-on-one secret meeting and once the place where it will happen is known, just lay an ambush and suicide charge Voldy from all directions with Dumbledore,Snape, Shacklebolt, Moody,Tonks,Lupin, McGonagal and Sirius.

No way he can kill all 8 without someone getting a lucky shot in

>inb4 muh Horcruxes!

Having Voldemort's body destroyed wouldve made hunting down the Horcruxes easier and not as urgent, just look at how he was helpless for like 15 years the first time his body was destroyed

>inb4 deh!
>inb4 No!

Serious discussion ITT only please

based and tacticspilled

I can’t think of anything wrong with this plan

what about a good old fashioned hidden explosive? Does he have some jedi-powers to know that there's a charge somewhere near him? Or does techology just cease to work around magic like in Arcanum?

I know memes get blown out of proportion, but did Rowling say anything about any other character's sexuality other than Dumbledore/Grindelwald thing? Cause the whole "Rowling assigning character's sexuality" is memed about alot but that's the only time I can actually think of. I think I heard something about her saying Harry was bisexual but it was apparently a joke or something

Black could be anywhere.

No I think that was her friend who's name I forget (Marietta I think?) who sold out Dumbledore's army to Umbridge cuz her parents worked in the Ministry of Magic or some shit. In the movie they cut out the friend entirely and changed it to Cho being the traitor for more drama I guess

Pretty sure it's heavily implied the other Head of Houses also favor students of their house, especially McGonagall. She lets Harry in particular get away with a lot of shit, like getting him to play seeker in his first year even though it was against the rules because she wanted the Gryffindor team to win, or not having Ron and Harry expelled in Chamber of Secrets

This scene isn't racist at all; it's commentary on racism. This scene, and the other scene, are director Alfonso Cuaron's way of challenging J.K. Rowling's use of the words "black magic" and "dark magic" to mean evil magics. Cuaron's casting of this particular actor, who is new to the series as of Prisoner of Azkaban, is very intentional. He's a Black actor who resembles the mammy archetype; he makes us recall the caricatures of Black people that were popular in the 1800s and early 1900s, when racism was more apparent in the U.S. Cuaron uses this actor to call attention to Rowling's use of the words "black" and "dark" to mean evil and bad, and to plant in viewers' minds the idea that this kind of language can be harmful to people of color. Do many viewers come to this conclusion? Sadly, no. They seem to think it's just a joke made in poor taste, which they chuckle at before dismissing. The only director of color to work on the Harry Potter movies didn't include the Black-commenting-on-black scenes to be funny, but to make a point. If these scenes make people uncomfortable, they should ask themselves why.

>What if we force an inexperienced teenage wizard with abandonment issues and PTSD to kill the most prominent and talented dark wizard of our country while us adults sit on our asses?

Rip Dobby

Cursed Child is only canon because otherwise nobody would care.

>Children getting attacked at night by a serial killer with no adult supervision because they snuck out of bed
Filch's wet dream.

>Snape with facial hair
cursed

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>220 replies
>it hasn't been posted yet

Wouldn't the Patil twins (Parvati and Padma) also technically be asian
Cho is just east azn

>What if we allow this mentally and emotionally unstable wizard killer to perform the three forbidden curses to impressionable students in a classroom, including two people who have personally witnessed two of those curses?

holy shit

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>When your house is in second place because all of its students keep breaking the rules
>Gives the most prominent rule breakers arbitrary points for breaking the rules once again and nearly getting killed in the process
>Deliberately assigns the points during the actual ceremony when the Slytherin students who actually followed the rules thought they earned a victory, only to have that victory stolen away from them

No wonder Draco wanted to kill him.

What the hell did the spectators see in the second and third tasks of the Triwizard Tournament?

>What if we just sit there and let this 11-year-old boy who never even knew he was a wizard 3 months ago and is the target of the most prominent terrorist group in our country nearly get killed by a hexed broom?

So... um, why didn't they use the time-turner the night James and Lily died?

I'm guessing because at that point Voldemort had literally just come back at the end of Goblet of Fire, the Order formed only a little while after and Snape was still trying to gain Voldemort's trust as a spy. I'm pretty sure there's a line in GoF that implies Voldy thought Snape was turned against him permanently (when he talks about the Death Eaters that were at Hogwarts - Quirrell, Snape and Barty Crouch Jr).

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>Quirrell
*Karkaroff

she made her books shit unintentionally because she's a fucking hack.

matilda

>Parvati and Padma are in different houses in the books
>they're in the same house in the movies
what they did mean by this?

Wasnt it the end of the year he dropped in?

Why didn't he just keep all Slytherin in permanent DEHtention?

What's also curious is how the goblet of fire is apparently so powerful that it's absolutely impossible to pull out of the tournament for Harry..yet it could be easily deceived to allow a minor for a non-existent fourth school who didn't even put his name in it himself.

Also couldn't Harry just show up to every challenge to technically participate and then forfeit it? Does the goblet check your inner workings and considers it bullshit and punishable if you weren't trying hard enough before giving up? Because remember that Fleur DID give up in the lake and nothing happened to her.

Goddamit this thread has been alive for twelve hours. I keep thinking its finally dead and then come back two hours later and there some other replies. Pretty comfy I must say.

He's coerced the Ministry of Magic into giving him a monopoly on ink in the entirety of Wizarding Britain. He uses this monopoly to (1) control the press and (2) make oodles of cash.
Source is a fanfiction called Partially Kissed Hero.

Portraits don't have souls. They can't learn anything.

>they can't learn anything
Yes they can. Fat lady and almost all of the paintings had no living counterpart when sirius black was alive. Yet they all knew who he was and that he was a wanted criminal. They can also learn about new students, like how they all knew who harry potter was.

What if Draco was a girl?

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proves that the sorting hat is the actual villain

Dean Thomas and that negress George fucks are in Gryffindor.

That is also weird.
>You must participate, Harry.
>Eh, no.
>Oh, ok.

At least Rowling could give him some weight to want to participate, I don't know, he needed the money, I guess.

Potter, baka.

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Because in her shit universe people can literally teleport at will and there would be nothing stopping him from just escaping.

In fact, this is such a fucking massive cop-out that a lot of times she has to come up with reasons why characters don't straight up just teleport the fuck out of every bad situation.

Shut up!

Why Potter's parents didnt teleport him out of the house instead of dying like idiots?

Because Rowling is a hack

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So, Luna had a crush on Ron in the Order of the Phoenix?

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What are you taking about

Well, it becomes the best house in Hogwarts, of course.

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The infamous Ken M I presume

This

>

wouldn’t it be weird if she abused Harry in a sexual way haha

Doesn't matter. Rowling had to shill her stupid MAH SCAMANDER shit in to the main story, so she made luna marry his grandson when they were in their 40s and she never bears children.