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What would a modern reimagining of Master & Commander look like?
Charles Barnes
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Justin Brown
I swear everyone on earth is having sex except for me
Jack Davis
All at the same time?
Colton Moore
~Oooh, oooh~
Leo Richardson
escorts are cheap
Luke Torres
$250 cheap
Logan Bailey
Would you rather go on three dates with a girl who won’t fuck you?
Luis Long
based
Jeremiah King
>TRAILER STARTS.
>Some witchy female artist is serenading with a nondistinguishable cover song.
>Pass through a sea bed as we reveal a boat
>BRMMMMMMMMM noises
>Flashes of the cast. Milly billy bobby brown, Idris Elba, the rock, kevin hart, the new female bond, the black valkyria girl, a trans actor, many other hollywood current It people, the fat bitch from precious, etc.
>Will Smith says "Land ho, aight?"
>Cut to songs of Childish gambino, jazy z, kanye west, some other whack nigga
>Show scenes of them on the ship fighting nazguls. Explosions. A fucking robot banging a cloud. Whales exploding. A guy eating sushi with his ass.
>THIS SUMMER....
>More explosions. Precious is crying. Milly billy taking it up the ass. Idris elbas skin turning white. The rock seeing balls going ifff yaaa smellllll lala la laaao.
>Suddenly the music kicks in for real. "X GONNA GIVE IT TO YA, GONNA GIVE IT TO YAA"
>A teleporter brings out even more black actors and trans actress. White people are the evil ships. Thanos shows up to wink at the camera. An ewok explodes. A bunch of chinese people walking backwards as a giant calculator spelling 80087355 chases them.
>MASTA AND COMMANDA: THE DILATION METHODS
>Directed by Terence Marrick (a korean youtuber getting his first break cuz his father is rich and gay)
Tyler Jenkins
Why would she go on a date with me if she doesn't want to fuck?
Robert Mitchell
we laugh, but this is the reality that's coming.
Dominic Baker
for free meals and booze, retard.
Carter Hall
Last year, a 45-year-old man in the Los Angeles area was alleged to have deceived a series of women he met online, going out to eat with them and then ducking out before the bill arrived. One woman says he ordered more than $100 worth of food in one sitting. (He was later sentenced to 120 days in county jail after pleading no contest to three misdemeanor counts of “defrauding an innkeeper by nonpayment” and one misdemeanor count of petty theft, and ordered to stay off Bumble and Plenty of Fish while on probation.)
Dominic Hall
Why is the daring class so aesthetically pleasing?
Xavier James
jesus christ Im already standing in line for the sequel
Aaron Ortiz
>those ebil womyn expecting the dick in exchange for a basket of mozz sticks
>based man chooses to avoid this matriarchal bullshit
>is punished by the matriarchy with jail for not dicking roasties in exchange for fried food and cheep booze.
Colton Nelson
Andrew Hughes
yea that's the damn truth. that guy shouldn't have gone to jail. if he goes to jail for this, all the bitches should be going too.
Jace Sullivan
Christopher Martinez
K-19 The Widowmaker
72 meters
youtube.com
Black Sea
Christopher Murphy
Lmao I can get a stunning czech escort for 60 quid for half an hour, do you even know where to look?
Lucas Turner
You may have a shitty fucking country but here in America, or at least inmiami where I am..you will find the most busted ugly fucking whore and shell charge you 100$ for half an hour.
Kayden Powell
LMAO
Someone write the same article, but about women and makeup.
Elijah Cox
In a row.
Xavier Stewart
Jesus Christ the self-pity in this thread...