Solid movie opening scene ideas

A meteor crashes on earth, in Italy. It contains a weird unknown material that is valuable, spreads quickly, and is deathly to humans

*Wakes up groggy not paying attention to surroundings*
"Uaahhh damn that was a good sleep.."
*Walks on auto pilot to "bathroom" to take a piss while rubbing sleep out of eyes*
*Scene shows me pissing in the chieftains bowl of breakfast Easter Eggs*
"HEEEEEYYY OOGA VOOGA BOOGBA *rambles in easter islandish*"
*Suddenly wake up for real and look frantically around*
" WHAO WHAT??? WHERE THE FRICK...??? MOOOOOOOOOOM???"

>zoomer
>humour
pick one

there's a car going obviously over speed limit
next there's police following
faints to black and the movie title appears

Hey millennial, remember when this dude invited a pink haired girl to a concert but he actually killed her?
I thought that was pretty funny.

I'm 40 years old, never posted on reddit, and I laughed at this the first time I saw it (on Yea Forums).

A guy gets into his car and when he turns on the ignition it explodes, killing him instantly

And it's actually Christmas

>faints to black

dude its a movie screen, not an orgasmic white woman

>illegal in space
Do you see any cops up here?

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollo_18_(film)

I'll pick both, millenials have never been funny, as an 18 year old zoomer old Three Stooges skits have made me laugh more than anything Millenials have ever made.
You guys are just shit at comedy, sorry

I want a Nubian queen riding a white horse through the Scottish Highlands in slo-mo. Naked, of course.

Casino, *yawn*

Star Wars Episode 7
Grandmaster Luke, head of the Jedi academy, has his life thrown into disarray when his best friend Han Solo tells him that his kid is fucked up. Hijinks ensue

Yeah, dumb shit like this is why we haven't been back to the moon for 47 years.

We're introduced to a gathering of white collared, law-abiding citizens enjoying the serenity of the local park on a particularly bright and sunny day, the adults are gingerly engaging in pleasant small talk among each other while the children are playing in the neatly cut grass hill nearby. Then to everyone's great discomfort a gang of imposing urban teens enters the park blasting inappropriate ghetto music through a large boombox . The idle chatter grows idle in a sudden halt as everyone darts their eyes on the intruders. We cut back and forth between the urban hood rats and a fatherly looking man in his mid 40's, the man squirms and mutters under his breath to his family:

"Don't make eye contact and they'll leave us alone"

The man squints a shooting glance towards the hoodlums, and to his great dismay makes direct eye contact with one of the afro-dittes. The man's eyes shoot up as the shade opens his fat lipped mouth and exclaims:

"AYOO!"

cut to black.

obviously he's going to shoot himself so we can get a ghost fight

I saw rapa nui, where are the delicious brown nude indigenous women

Sounds like a Rick and Morty joke after the women took over writing.

what a dumb rule

Sneed seeds the feed

A post-nude leak JLaw walks into her apartment, she is sweating.
All the furniture that once populated her home has been sold for scraps of food
She turns to the corner where Moon is
"Dawn of the final day" says moon
"Noooooo" says JLaw

Attached: cursed_dirty_bubble.jpg (784x748, 22K)

Fade in.
Ext. some wild island in southern pacific. we travel through a thick canopy of humid dried palms and dirt. we see a group of monitor lizards feasting on a buffalo carcass.

Buffalo (John Leguizano)
“Yup. That’s me. I bet you’re wondering how I got here. Well, let me you.”

Attached: 6007200A-CDF7-4B42-A2C1-CEAC6551AAB3.jpg (480x360, 60K)

I don't get it.

How ya doin, gramps?

The year is 20XX and there is only one cityclicker left.

A brainy stockbroker (Michael Douglas) now single-handedly controls the buying and selling of all USE (United States of Earth) equities through the use of Tor, Bitcoin, and thousands of distributed computers.
Empowered by the 2026 Trump Jnr. act, rural and suburban retards have thrived and demolished all cities on earth.
Michael Douglas, wearing denim overalls, drives a beat up pickup truck attempting to blend in.
Every man and woman alive is staring each other down, trying to spot the final cityslicker, to accomplish their utopia.
Sweat dripping from his brow, Douglas arrives at a farming supply store to buy some seeds - in an attempt to fit in.

"Those are gummy bears?"
Douglas coyly chuckles. "Must be all that whisky last night!"
"What did you say your soil pH was again?"

Douglas walks out of shop, nervous but relieved. But it was close.

"Well la-de-da Mr. GUCCI LOAFERS"

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*bonk*

Hipster

What's up with all the son of mask memes lately? Did something happen?

This would be hella f*ckin epic!

A daring synthesis.

>le so randum

there were just a couple huge and great threads in the last 24 hours. which lead to many smaller threads.

many people never saw the film. And we were given 5 minute youtube clips from the film. And there is just so much that is so bad about the film that it became memeable. The more you watch it the more you see that is wrong or terrible.

youtube.com/watch?v=wjJ9tt8NUQ4

Well apparently this board is a shithole left to its own devices and I guess mask threads are preferable to political b8 threads or simpsons b8 threads

Explain how do you shoot a bullet without gravity retards

horses are stupid and gross

This will always be the OG Yea Forums meme

No americans it's not illegal because nobody controls the space. Jesus christ you kids...

How is that funny?

>Nasa employee: oh hey you guys are back early

>Astronaut: moon niggers

>nasa employee: what?

>astronaut: *loading up pistol getting back on rocket ship* moon niggers

>implying that NASA doesn't know everything their astronauts do and communicate with them nonstop
>implying that they just landed a full rocket instead of crashing a capsule in the ocean or tundra
>implying that rocket that just landed Tintin-style is ready to go back up
this triggers my autism
>370,000 twittards liked this

lol I'm not old. Millenial "humour" just sucks

The same. Wtf?

>Liking old things makes you a hipster
lol no, Three Stooges skits are actually funny, Simpsons and other millenial shit isn't