An old hag, land whale offered me coke and a bj on a bar

Bowl her over and run.

Sharpie in pooper

Get the coke and then find a young whore

Don’t fucking do it user. Cheap sexual encounters with drug addicts is a BIG YIKES AND NONO. GET OUT OF THE BAR

thats my wife

This. Swipe the ye and go ask some thot if she wants to rip a line off your dick

Sounds disgusting

>get coke and a bj
Winning formula

This happened to a roommate once he got robbed and blue balls.

tell her to have sex

>free blowjob
>free drugs
>no sex
>dont have to do shit
yes its a win op do it you're fucking stupid if you dont

Imagine how tiring this has to be on a Wednesday work night

get off the bar, moron

this guy got aids because the coke was laced with hiv dusted hoopastank. don't do it, it tears your nose up and gets into your blood quicker. also that fat bitch … youll remember those smells for years to come. we are trying to save your life.

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run to the bathroom and jerk off. guarantee you'll have your answer when youre done

Post it on your blog fag

Tell her you have AIDS

I wonder how long this totally Yea Forums related post will stay up?

Keep up the good work, mods

We're approaching /realniggahours/, buckle up

this, coke is whore bait. even ugly guys can get laid if you have an 8 ball and tell a girl she can stay up all night and do it with you.

No need to run, she was comp Wasted
But a league of their own on the bar was on the tv

>huge married landwhale at work has a huge crush on me
>texts me a bunch of stupid shit and nasty nudes constantly
>haven't had sex in years
>kind of thinking about
God I know my life will be hell if I do fuck this ugly cunt but I'm so fucking horny and lonely.

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You know, I'm actually a pretty straightedge person, but if a fat MILF offered me coke and dirty random sex I'd probably be more likely to do it than if it was a hot thot. It doesn't even fucking make sense because she could be a STD riddled trailer park whore but thinking about it now I'd probably go for it just because I feel more comfortable with old women so I'd be more likely to go out of my comfort zone.

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just keep her in the spank bank, believe me when I tell you... you don't wanna touch that shit.

Don't do it unless you are wasted enough to not remember anything, if you are posting here, clearly, you aren't drunk enough
I had sex with a landwhale and believe, I never got over it. Bitch basically raped me.

that’s a go maverick. be sure to get the bj first then do the coke, coke dick is real and tragic i know from experience.

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Just jerk off, don't enable roasties

My will power is stronger than I thought I'd be. If anything she repulses me but I just want to FUCK SOMETHING DAMNIT

came to post this

you haven’t suffered anything until you’ve been slapped in the face hard enough to bust your lip by a literal tranny who is fucking you in the ass. try living with that you bitch.

Share the nudes user. There are other people here who would like nude nasty landwhales.

>I'm a straight edge person
>I'd fuck a stranger on coke
yeah...

Best advice itt thread op, unzip yo pants and get at it

user, in my very I post I commented on how it's a weird exception and I see it as such.

I have to work with this bitch and don't want this to come bite me in the ass.
You're not missing a damn thing, shes a delusional white obese 30 something year old who thinks she's a literal 10/10. Probably autistic as well since she can't read body language or other social cues that show discomfort.

Yeah, one of my friends got with a fat chick at a party when he was 16, she basically fed him drinks then fucked him. He cried about it a month later and said he felt violated. The guy was a bit of a pussy, but fat sex isn't fun for anyone. All guys think about it, but they look disgusting and smell AWFUL.
Now, this is based.

Leave the coke. Take the bj

Worst advice in this thread.

Fair enough, but autistic obese 30 year olds can potentially get me off so I still think I'm missing out.

suck her pusy

Don't listen to this guy, he's a gay redditor.

based pusy sucker

no one must know

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OP hasn't replied in a while, I'm assuming he's been beaten and raped.

So... has anyone seen that new Yesterday movie?

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At least someone is getting their dick touched on here, willingly or not. But still.

this is your brain on nigger

Un a recovering drug addict and alcoholic and this is making me think about going out to the bars

the thing about coke is that if you can get it up you're going to fuck like a champ. but 90% of the time you're just pushing rope

Problem, w*iteoid?

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Accept the offer.

I was able to get hard but I couldn't cum to save my life. That nut the morning after is pure magic tho.

AND YOU CAN, PIIIISS UP A ROPE.
PUT ON YOUR SHOES, HIT THE ROAD GET TRUCKIN'.

Have sex

Rule number one" Don't screw the crew

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Say no wtf gross have some self respect.

>The guy was a bit of a pussy, but fat sex isn't fun for anyone
I hate that lie fat chicks like to tell about how "chubby girls fucks the best". Fucking BULLSHIT. More like, the move more because their fucking bodies jiggle like jelly, THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU FUCK BETTER FUCKING LAND WHALES.

Fucking don’t. You will still have to see her and I bet she will like be aggressive and sexual with you at work because you enabled CHEATING my dude! Dirty situation. Jack off, but I would even say tell her to fuck off a bit with nudes? Idk maybe thats gay.

How the fuck is this still up after an hour?
Who the fuck approves the Yea Forums mods? This is ridiculous bullshit.

you'll probably regret it

I'm probably not going to do anything. I have her texts muted and only talk to her at work. Unless she corners me at work and rapes me I'm not doing shit.
I really never been in this type of situation. My other coworkers find it hilarious but I'm frankly I'm pretty uncomfortable with it desu

You could probably have her fired for sexual harassment, but that would probably backfire.

What are you doing on the bar? Get down from there!

>but that would probably backfire.
Her husband is a manager at another location, I really don't want it to come to that but fuck. She tried to kiss me other day in the fucking breakroom.

>Her husband is a manager at another location
Dude, that's even better, if she's actively trying to cheat on him, do you really think he will come to her aid?

>old hag at a bar
>land whale
>coke

all signs of a coalburner. if you have any dignity left don't do it.

>television & films

Man I just want to be left alone all. I don't want to make a big deal of things and have it turn into a fucking spectacle.

Talk your way into just the coke, unless old hag is an exaggeration and she's only like 35 in which case go for it. But def get the coke

And so you shouldn't, I just think harassers in the workplace should be held accountable no matter what, just give her a firm no then and block her number, if she makes a complaint, you have evidence of unwanted sexts to condemn her with.

If you read up the thread, the guy just left the bar.

Ah yeah I didn't read, wanted to respond asap to tell him that. I just got off work and got to the bar myself, I figured I'd be too late. I imagine he completely pussied out and probably only tipped maybe 10%