Why? Are you going to kick my ass? Lets cut the fancy little faggot act and get to the chase...

every man should learn to fight

This scene fuels my paranoid dreams.

>My name is sean and yours is...?
>Agent credible_surname_1 and Agent credible_surname_2, just herr enjoying a cup of coffee off-duty, nice to meet you sean.

Easy, sometimes you have to use your brain not your muscles

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The perfect solution means he gets laid with the bitch he has been wasting money on all night. Doing anything but making them back down or kicking their ass means she's not going to let you plow her.

If he had said that he would have got his ass beat. The guy threatening him was not fucking around.

"Oh, I'm not going anywhere"
*proceeds to continue to bully you*

>you really need to start thinking of the police as your own little personal army that you can order around and get to harass anyone.
Depends on where you live and how crooked the cops are. In some small towns you call the cops on this asshole and his older brother shows up.

*imperceptibly nervous laugh*
"You're not cops."

>Now what?

>if thou darest lay a finger on thee, I shall summon forth my big bully brutes to buggy thee up and arrest ye
*sits down and crosses legs while sipping cup of tea*

Realistically the only winning move in this scenario is to have a gun already in your hand under the table.

That show takes place in fucking new york.

*smacks phone out of your hands*

You would get your face rocked in the middle of saying “your not gonna do shit?”

>If you do not turn around and walk away right now I will shoot you. I do not want to do it, but I am very serious and have no ethical qualms with defending myself. This is your only warning.

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The right move is to be enough of a man that you can fight when challenged.

The post I was referring was not talking about only New York you brainlet.

>That is assault good sir, and I will not be bullied, I've nary seen such boorishness in a tenday! Mr. Proprioter would you be so kind as to alert the constable of these brigands?
*exasperatedly huffs*

oh no i'm being bullied by a 18 year old child

just ignore him or call the cops. if he tries to put his hands on you, inform him that he's in full sight of multiple witnesses and the only way he can get away with assaulting you is by killing all the witnesses, and that he will go to jail if he does. then halfheartedly apologize to him so he can save face when he backs off

>The right move is to be enough of a man that you can fight when challenged.

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>you really need to start thinking of the police as your own little personal army that you can order around and get to harass anyone. I use an assortment of different tactics quite a lot (just shut down a loud obnoxious party over the weekend)
based.

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Shows just how fucking outside of reality this board is when so many anons advocate escalating the situation
If you aren’t 200% confident in your ability to stomp the other guy it’s better to avoid the fight
Especially if he has five friends there with him

Being able to fight when challenged doesn't do you much good if you have zero leverage or ability to maneuver because you're sitting in a booth in a pizzeria.

The strongest, toughest, most experienced hand to hand fighter in the world would still risk his life fighting an out of shape old man like Louis.

Street fighting is a horrible random mess and any smart man avoids it unless it is the very last resort.

If you think an 18 year old man (because that's what he is, not a child) can't beat you to death in a matter of seconds you're a naive fool.

> inform him that he's in full sight of multiple witnesses and the only way he can get away with assaulting you is by killing all the witnesses, and that he will go to jail if he does.
lol
You're expecting to be able to say that without
1. being interrupted two or three times
2. it falling on completely deaf ears
3. it actually escalating the situation

You've had a sheltered upbringing. Real life you don't get to make speeches. He's going to slap you across the face and call you a faggot.

The best thing to do is to say nothing, or act cowardly. Basically exactly what Louis does in the scene. You're dealing with a "person" who is basically a sub-human, an animal. You wouldn't try to reason with a rabid dog.

Honestly I agree if he’s too retarded to understand that picking fights with random people in diners in full view of multiple witnesses is a quick ticket to being Tyrone’s girlfriend in the pen, it’s his own problem.

I don't think it's his problem user, I'm pretty sure it's yours.

This. Women come and go. Your life and health is everything. You think you have to defend your "honor" but I guarantee you that white nigger would have no concept of it and even IF you managed to "beat his ass" his crew would most likely try to jump you as you left or he'd get up and pursue, this time with much more deadly force like a baseball bat to the back of the head, or a pocket knife neck or back.

Just say nothing. Head down. Let the ape think he's "won". No trouble.

He doesn't think about that. These people don't think on that level.

That or shoot him.

if you can't manage to say "you're going to go to prison for this?" without getting hit then you've already effectively in a fight situation so it won't matter what you say.

>The best thing to do is to say nothing

i said that's what you should do, dumbass. i only brought up that other stuff if he starts physically assaulting you. if he does, back off and ask him if assaulting you is worth prison time. how do you know acting cowardly won't just escalate the situation? you're obviously dealing with a rabid dog who can smell fear, like you said.

>It was the big boys all the women go for, they jumped me. The women didn’t say nothing. They keep on choosing the wrong men. Is that all women want? Tall and with a big you know what?
holy shit

A then you sue him and ruin his employability by pressing charges.

this but louis was essentially walking on eggshells. the bully seemed unhinged and that he might have unloaded a cheapshot at any time

You're still not getting you're dealing with a shit-for-brains meathead. ANY kind of contrary response just feeds the fire.

Okay retard, I’m not his dad, I couldn’t give 2 fucks if he’s getting raped in prison on assault charges.
Exactly, it’s an animal. We don’t go around squeezing dogs’ jaws shut when they bark, but if retard can speak words that means we need to care?

>how do you know acting cowardly won't just escalate the situation? you're obviously dealing with a rabid dog who can smell fear, like you said.
It could, but it's the least likely of the options.
Ask any police officer what to do in this situation and they will tell you to do it.

>bully
A man that's threatening to beat you to death transcends the word "bully".

>suing for getting your as kicked after provoking the hell out of the guy

He'd get a slap on the wrist at the very most. You'd lose thousands employing a lawyer for nothing.

show him your gun, that always works pretty good to quiet down big talkers

just be ready to use it

so say nothing? like i told you 3 times already?

i wouldn't have hollered at them like a dumbass like louis ck did anyway. i can smell angry retardation from a mile away, so i would just go elsewhere.

if they physically assault you while you just sit still and stay quiet, then you're just going to have to accept the fact that you're getting assaulted no matter what

Talking shit to strangers isn't a good idea. Lets say that they beat you mercilessly, kick out all your teeth and leave you in a bloody heap on the street and disappear into the night. What do you do about it? You don't know who they are, you don't have any evidence to incriminate them, what's to stop them from savagely beating you and leaving you for dead in a gutter?

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A man who beats half to to death is a bully a man who threatens to beat you to death is also a bully, only when that man actually beats you to death does he finally transcend bully and become a murderer, until that moment he's still a mere bully.

why are you even replying to me if you agreed with the posts I made

I think you just like pretending like you were the first person to say something

for lack of a better term. just using bully because that's what louis calls him. the character is actually a psycho i'd say

A man who threatens to beat you to death has committed a felony.

This is taking place in New York you can't carry a gun within the city dumbass.

because you keep replying to me like you're trying to contradict me

Being a felon and a bully are not mutually exclusive, in fact bully is a common personality trait for felons.

Impersonating an officer of the law is a bigger crime than kicking someone's ass.

>Okay retard, I’m not his dad, I couldn’t give 2 fucks if he’s getting raped in prison on assault charges.
No I mean his problem of hypothetically receiving comeuppance for being a violent psychopath, at some indeterminate point in the future, is greatly overshadowed by the fact that your problem is that a violent psychopath is looming over you looking to beat your head in , in the present.

The fact he is a psychopath is YOUR problem not his. He's perfectly fine with the present situation.

*goes to punch me I duck down spring back up and poke him in the eyes while pulling on his nose*
*he grabs nose and eyes in pain delirious falls over counter of donut shop*
*goons attend to his buddy while me and gf sneak out and blend into a nearby crowd while giggling together*

fpbp

Even if he eventually gets put away, you still got your ass kicked in front of your woman. It's almost as bad a no-win scenario as Jonah vs Ornella.

carry anyways? Wow that was hard, thousands of fuckheads seem to do it every day and never get in trouble

>a mobster coming into your store demanding protection money is only a bully until he breaks your legs

>By all means continue, my dear football-loving friend. But first, you're going to have to tell me your three favourite kinographies.

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then you're going to get put in jail for shooting a dude in self defense with a gun you have no right to own

>I-I c-can't carry a gun, m-my masters told me I'm not allowed!
Holy shit you are a fucking faggot cunt you deserve your ass beat you loser. Do you think the bad guys give a fuck what they're allowed to do?

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Never shot him but if he wants the bullet it's on him after he provokes it

>sticking around waiting for the cops to show up at a crime scene after shooting someone
rofl
The only problem is the bitch will probably squeal, so you'll have to shoot her too. Might as well just go for broke and stick up the pizzeria while you're at it.

Fuck it, rob the couple about to walk in too

1. Threatening him will be enough in 99% of cases
2. If you shoot him, he's dead and you're alive. You still won the exchange even if you go to jail. Is it better to bend over and let him fuck you because you aren't allowed by your slavemaster to defend yourself? You are pathetic.

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>Screams "HE'S GOT A GUN"
>Punches you in the face so hard you black out immediately
>5 Witnesses at the diner all corroborated his story
>Police are called and they collect your unconscious body
>You are hauled off to prison for illegally carrying a firearm in New York and threatening an innocent man with a deadly weapon
>Local news paints him as a hero and your date gleefully finds herself in his bed.

based sociopath poster

>punching faster than a bullet
I DOUBT IT

>Punches you

He's shot, his guts spilling out and everyone screaming and cringing at the loud gunshot in an enclosed space

Where can I find the leaked stand-up? It got taken down super fast

You can't punch someone faster than they can squeeze a trigger, you autist.

>Is it better to bend over and let him fuck you

i'd argue that it'd be better to get beaten up than ruin your own life in some piss weak attempt to look cool in front of some random broad and some retarded kids

>This is taking place in New York you can't carry a gun within the city dumbass.

you get a $20 New York City pistol permit, renewable every 2 years, tit-head

>YOU'LL GET IN TROUBLE FOR SHOOTING SOMEONE IN SELF DEFENSE
>let's make up legal precedent to stop smart people from shortcutting this bullshit dilemma so I can keep posting these threads
windmillbrain.png

real life isn't an anime, you fucking idiot

jesus christ

Dude just think of the fact that most murders literally do not get solved when there's nothing linking the perpetrator to the victim and if you shot someone in the next city over at random and drove back home for the night you would probably never be caught

>warning someone who just threatened your life instead of just opening up
Kek

>Hold on Mr Fightypants while I fumble for my gun, awkwardly remove it from the holster because I'm currently sitting in a cramped dinner bench table and you're standing over me with very dominate postions and turn off the safety
>Alright we may now continue this exchange so I can shoot you
You're a moron.

You're not going to pull a Gun and get a shot off on this kid before he kicks you ass in. As soon as you flash it he shoves your teeth down your throat with his fist. I bet you think a Gun beats a knife at this range too.

>i'd argue that it'd be better to get beaten up than ruin your own life in some piss weak attempt to look cool in front of some random broad and some retarded kids
So you just take the beating like a good little slave amerigoyim. Fucking loser. Death before dishonor, you slave ethos maggot.

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Why is Louis CK so popular in the US? Give me the run down

and you're crippled for life
good job
you really showed him who's boss

You'll end up dead if you try this and nobody will care

Link the scene faggots

Please tell me you intend to deal with an armed person this way.

>not putting your hand on your piece as he approaches you
I can tell you've lived a sheltered life.

liberal NY media saw him as the next woody allen. still had a nice fanbase from when he was in his 'seinfeld phase' and his 'le edgy troll comic phase'.

Now he's just sad and jacks off alone with neither hall nor oats to harass and sarah silverman has sag tits now.

Cuckolding pioneer. Hero to Americucks.

>i'd argue that it'd be better to get beaten up
That fucker is literally bragging to you that he beat a man's face in and left him for dead.

Real life isn't a tabletop RPG either, anyone with a gun should practice unholstering it.
And don't warn him either, the moment he threatens you just make it look like you're going for your wallet or something and pump a few rounds into his gut while saving the magazine for any of his boyfriends who feel like taking revenge. Problem solved, soicuck rebuttals notwithstanding.

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Unconscious, it's unlikely he's actually going to kill you, just beat your fucking face in while you fumble for your gun.

maybe i'm seeing the situation different than you but this guy doesn't come off as a genuine psycho or even a real delinquent who is willing to put his life on the line to "win". i watched the clip and it comes off more like he's a bored kid who is trying to show off to his friends. like i can't imagine there's any feasible way he would actually hit you if you just sat still and ignored him. alternatively, just keep talking to him about random shit. as soon as someone else walks in, or the store clerk is there, you could beckon that person towards you and now he's in the middle of 3 random people who he's apparently trying to assault, and it should dawn on him that he's still living in society. i mean, i guess he could still assault you but eh

>you get a $20 New York City pistol permit, renewable every 2 years, tit-head
This is bait

I've already brandished it, it's loaded, what am I fumbling with?

And now you're going to prison for attempted murder.

Show me the fucking case history, you absolutely mongoloid. It's always the same thing with these threads, faggots like you claiming to have legal knowledge to invalidate the obvious response so you can keep posting this bait.
Show me the case precedent, link it.

Where the fuck were these omnipresent cops when dickhead was making credible threats of violence to me?

>I'd rather be dead or crippled than have to face a self-defense trial

It would actually be interesting to see how such a case would get handled in modern NYC.

I'd like to see you draw and fire before that kid locks you down and kicks your bashes your fucking face in. You're in the cramped booth he's standing over you blocking your egress, you're not only going to have a hard time drawing but also standing and facing him, he's got a clear line of sight on you the whole time you're not going to secretly draw either, as soon as he sees you have a piece you're fucking done.

Why did the feminists ruin him?

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Good job making /k/ seethe my friend.

>I go to jail for a couple years and get out on parole for good behavior
>faggot's a corpse cut down in the prime of his young life
Looks like I win.

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Or you just deescalate the situation like Luis did by giving up and walking away.

>he's got a clear line of sight on you the whole time you're not going to secretly draw either,
What, now the kid has x-ray vision and can see through the table?

Zimmerman was able to unholster and shoot Trayvon while he was getting his head slammed into the pavement repeatedly.

In this hypothetical situation in which you've brandished your loaded firearm clearly user's superior speed wins out against a bullet. Oh no his lungs are punctured what will he do

This is one of the most autistic nonsense posts I've ever seen here.

t. Shido

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>9999 paragraphs of autistic word salad hypothesizing
>vs. just carry a fucking gun like everyone else and mind your own business

NYC CCW non-on premises permits are frequently issued to ex-cops and celebrities.

codes.findlaw.com/ny/penal-law/pen-sect-400-00.html

Don’t you get it? These fucking idiots will move the goalposts every time. Oh you want to fight back? Random fuckhead is a boxing grand champion who will instantly kill you with one punch. Oh you threaten him? You go to jail. You defend yourself in any way? You go to jail. Ignore him? Instant death punch. That user and anons like him feel like defeated, weak faggots so they like to idealize portrayals of bullies as being invincible gods so that they can justify their feelings of weakness.

He's at Luis side, he can see Luis hip, watch the scene again, he's blocking Luis if he tries to stand up. Luis would need to swing out of that cramped booth which is being blocked buy the bully.

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You just tell the disaffected youth in revolt that Bernie Goetz is your Uncle

>Random fuckhead is a boxing grand champion who will instantly kill you with one punch

youtu.be/sMPPZ02jCmM

BJJ blackbelt blown the fuck away 30 seconds in

>all these idiots tough-talking about their guns
>in reality they would shit themselves and blow their own cock off before they even got the gun out of their pants

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Exactly. Slave mentality.

>not just ninja rolling under the table and disemboweling the bully

Pssh, useless

>user just buys a gun and lets it sit in his holster, never training with it, never going to the range, never pulling it out in front of the mirror and saying "you talkin' to me?"
based retard

>not just telling the bully that you have tubercholosis and you just need to cough in his face RIGHT NOW to make his life considerably worse
Get some improv lessons you scrubs

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The problem is you still haven't come up with a surefire way to defend yourself and not get charged in this situation. You're in that booth, you're in NYC, you're being blocked in, fighting back isn't an option because of the situation, he's got five friends ready to also kick your ass, it's illegal to carry a firearm and even if you had one you're not in a position to readily use it.

If you had a real solution fucking hand it over, but all the ones you've given would either result in you getting your ass kicked, or you in prison with a felony.

>not telling him you are HIV+

STEP IT UP NIGGA

This is the big brain solution right here, PARDNER.

>he was never bullied by omnipotent deities in high school backed by complete political and social immunity and incomprehensible strength

lmao what kind of gay schools did you nerds go to

>If you had a real solution fucking hand it over

Death or Prison, there are no real solutions. Only bitches go to prison, cops take my life away

Based retard

based
youtu.be/PYfUvW_3C3U

Fucked up that this guy drowned in a freak accident

>I can see your soul at the edges of your eyes. It's corrosive, like acid. You got a demon, little man. And I don't like your face. It makes me wanna do things to it.

This. That guy showed Louie his bloodied knuckles beforehand. He wasn't fucking around.

>tfw reported every drug dealer whilst at uni
>tfw got 8 people arrested and significantly reduced the flow of drugs through the university

felt good improving the lives of others

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You shoot him, surrender to the police, and call for a lawyer. You'll probably have to cop to the gun charge but get off on the shooting on self-defense. Even if worse comes to worst, I'd rather be in the prison with the other guy in the hospital than the other way around. If you want to claim otherwise, post an actual case.
But you won't because you're not basing your argument off reality, but on your cuck fantasy of always being a weak faggot. Same with that "chad picks the manlet up at the bar" webm, you'll find any rationalization that even if he cracked the glass over the guy's head, he'd go to prison because it was a chad.
Take your victim complex and unironically get back in your fucking cuckshed and tell your wife to take away the wi-fi. We don't want you here and we don't need you here.

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Would that actually work?

One of the greatest scenes in television history. I miss that show.

>spends a lifetime perfecting his katana Iaijutsu
>can't take a few hours to learn the breast stroke

Based based retard poster

Cops don't do shit. Some college kids were being loud and blasting loud music in this big balcony right in front of my window from 11 pm to 3:30 am, I asked them politely after they were ignoring me to please turn it down since i had to go to work in the morning, and some girl literally tells me, "we won't do shit, go ahead and call the cops *giggle*". So, I call the cops like 3 times that night and these kids would just lower the music when the policeman would show up, and the girls would act like angles, they dindu nuffin, and would get loud again when the officer left. After the third visit, the cop called me, and told me "Sorry, I can't do anything, they are in their confines of their home, and they aren't being too loud." I went to their balcony right after this conversation, the cop left (didnt give a fuck), and I tried to reason with whoever was leftover, this stoned/drunk out of her mind girl, and this white knight cuck faggot with a backwards hat. They told me I am an asshole for calling the cops on them, and were gloating the cops didn't do shit. All I'm saying here, is cut your losses, better wear some earplugs, and go to work late from missing the alarm. It's not worth getting beaten up or beating up someone 4 hours before work nor the anger.

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Why take the risk? Do you want HIV?

He was fighting water demons, user. It was no mere accident

Based

Pic related
>note: this only works if you lift

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>tfw got bullied like this in high school and didnt do anything

he dropped out so i won anyways

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shame he couldn't keep his dick in his pants

i've unironically got the perfect solution for this

>scream as loud as possible, much like a dying animal, possibly screaming for help at nearby passerbys

he can no longer engage you in conversation, so he will be forced to attack a person who is screaming for no reason if he still wants to assault you. this will also call bystanders to look upon the situation. he will be forced to give up his offense, and it won't be embarrassing for him (important) because you're obviously mentally ill and not worth his time

Or, instead of going through all of this and gambling with the rest of your life on some street hoodlum why not just deescalate the situation and walk away and let him end up behind bars when he crosses over the line?

I've seen this video. The black guy was literally lecturing him about racism here, after grabbing his arm and squeezing it tighter when the white guy tried to pull away. Very cathartic to watch.

>Do it, faggot. Dinner is full of people, and you look like you're no older than 16, if you wanna have a criminal record at this age, then fucking do it, bitch... That's what i thought. Now fuck off.

That's when you leak carbon monoxide into their home then casually stroll in and turn down the music.

Meanwhile your lady friend leaves in disgust, but otherwise not bad

he can beat me up, but then he's made an enemy for life
not kidding, ill make him regret it, if my police complaint goes nowhere ill go around the schools showing his picture until i find him

He cucked too greedily and too deeply.

>not recording them playing the music loud and the bitches taunting you
Retard.

>provoking
Doesn't matter. It's the person who punched first that'll get the blame. Rule of law. You can say whatever you want just don't hurt anybody.

>He cucked too greedily and too deeply.

Explain

Ever heard of making threatening statements?
Also, didn't I already tell you to get the fuck out?

>"Hol up gimme dat sword nigga!"
>"Stand back citizen. You have not mastered the blade"
Kino

He engaged in acts some might call unnatural.

Pussy.

shame he got ratted out by women who gave consent just so they could participate in the MeToo movement

>guy used to always make me the butt of the joke whenever he was around
>tfw he got busted selling his moms pills out of his locker
>expelled

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Yeah I've seen it.
Didn't even really mean it as a white/black thing, it's just a beautiful example of an elbow strike

Well your date will still think you're a total pussy, how is this better than what Louis did?

if she can't understand my 4d chess, she stupid as fuck anyway. it's more important to me that i personally don't feel like i gave in.

i think you could also deescalate without losing face by just saying "ok lady friend, we're leaving" and just getting up and leaving. neither party would really feel like they gave in to the other. i doubt this kid would risk prison time just because he wants to hear you say sowwy

No. Stab him with the fork.

seems like a lot of trouble from louie getting involved and asking them to basically shut up

Felony

He runs out and nothing happens, the end

You laughable idiot. Do you actually think you can just shoot people who threaten you?

why didn't louie just be cool and join in on their shenanigans?

>anyone with a gun should practice unholstering it.
Tell me how many times have you practiced unholstering in a diner booth exactly?

>not having a drop piece
you can shoot anyone at anytime as long as they're the right sort of person

Yes

once you unleash that hellish 100 db scream of death, she will probably just think you're crazy more than a pussy

>angles

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Every day, by the time you've walked up to me with a bad attitude I've blown your brains out

...

>Stab him with a fork
>He screams and starts punching you in the face
>His five buddies join in and you utterly get destroyed
>Girl thinks your weak for getting your ass kicked in front of her and leaves in disgust
>Police arrive and everyone corroborates the story that you attacked this innocent kid with a fork and they defended themselves
>You get to live the rest of your life a Felon and he gets off with a cool fork scar from that one time some weak old faggot stabbed him with a fork.

They are just fucking with your autistic ass. It's funny watching you seethe while your fantasies of being a badass are questioned. It makes you angry when you are confronted with how much of a pussy you really are. Fuck you and your magic gun.

A cunt tried to bully me in middle school. I fought him, we got suspended. The day I went back to school I went and got his lacrosse stick and ambushed and beat him with it unprovoked as hard as I could. Got suspended. When I came back he was afraid. The threat was neutralized. But for good measure I picked another fight and assaulted him yet again. Got suspended.
Lo and behold, when I came back again he was no longer bullying me, and no one ever did again/even was respected due to my reputation of not allowing people to shit on me, and I sat at their table. It's almost like you have to stand up for yourself or something, or that humans like to pick on the weak because we have a disgusting monkey tribal pecking order nature where the strongest cunt is respected and the weakest cunt is shat upon. I'm not saying it's right, but I am saying that's how it is.

You have a witness to verify the on threat on your life. Want to play it cleaner, just gouge an eye with your thumb. Really dig in and fuck it up. You'll have a to deal with the legal headache, but his bum eye will remain long after it's sorted out. Life lesson.

Why, what are going to do? Go for it. Do something. Do something my dude. Throw a punch my man. You wouldnt want to look like a bitch in front of your boyfriends back there. Go on, hit me. Oh, your not gonna do shit? So you're all bark no bite? You're all talk? Bye bye. Bye bye little man. Bye bye little man. Shhhh. No more out of you little man. Go back to the lockeroom and shower down with your bros little man.

kek first off the police will immediately side with you because hes a dumb kid, second everyone in the restaurant will back you up and nobody will be sure what the fuck even happened
basically unless he's the kid of a millionaire he'll come off far worse

why wouldn't you just record their party and play it back to them through a massive loudspeaker the next day when they're trying to sleep off a hangover?

>stab him with a fork up his ass
>he shits his pants and cums
>Girl thinks your weak for making him shit his ass on her fork and not doing anything about it
>Police arrive and everyone corroborates the story that you attacked this innocent kid with a fork and they defended his ass
>You get to live the rest of your life a Felon and he gets off with a cool fork scar from that one time some weak old faggot stabbed him with a fork.

>he's still coming up with these autistic masochistic fantasies
The incel mind is something to behold.

autism

>... NIGGER! NIGGER! NIGGER! NIGGER! NIGGER! NIGGER! NIGGER! NIGGER! NIGGER! NIGGER! NIGGER! NIGGER! NIGGER! NIGGER!
there, it's literally this easy

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You forgot the dab and T-pose, dumb fuck. It won't work without those.

My sides

Is the diner booth the most vulnerable position you can be in? Even while taking a shit you're way more capable of defending yourself than one of these deathtraps.

Literally zero options.

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Is Louie worth watching?

oh fuck

you saved this thread

Only if you find intensely uncomfortable situations funny.

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Oh, wow, that must be so scary. Oh, wait, no it's not.

you can move deeper into the booth so that your assailant needs to lean in awkwardly to assault you. and that's when you unleash the fork

Fork gives you the edge in the fog of things. Stab him to create the opening, come up swinging. No one wants to be stabbed. This guy didn't choose it, his friends likely won't be any different. Forks don't leave cool scars.

ar15

I really don't understand how you people can be scared of a fight. It's just a fight, it's natural.

See? This guy gets it.

>Forks don't leave cool scars.
Depends on the type of fork. Don't speak so broadly.

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>little man

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he engages your safety as you're taking aim. as you're momentarily distracted, he racks the bolt with a smooth flick and grabs the live round out of the air. he picks up a nearby fork, places the round on your forehead pointing within your skull, then sets off the primer using the leftmost prong of the fork. you die instantly, and he gets away with the act because his family is the rotschilds and he's actually a 1000 year old vampire

Losing the fight gains you more respect than being a complete bitch. If it's a nigger just see where he sleeps and execute him in time.

>why yes I am scared of getting into a fight, how could you tell?

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You're not funny and you'll never be funny like

Not the same night. Slow play it.

>Apologize
>Roastie dried up
>"Ok bye bye roastie. I'll just buy another whore"
>Follow the bully (just like in the actual episode)
>Wait till he gets into a dark, secluded location
>"What now faggot? let's do this you punk motherfucker"
>continue to curb stomp him
>

actually, i changed my mind, you are pretty funny after all

>drop piece
>detectives find your DNA on it
>one of your relatives used ancestry to find out that they are 2% Ashkenazi Jew
>positive match your DNA
>use the location of your mobile phone (which is obviously on your person) to place you at the time of the shooting
>comb through CCTV footage in the restaurant and around the restaurant, they now see the confrontation which gave you motive to shoot

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now you're funny, continue to dab on unfunny faggots for me

anyone got the full version with sound.

also people really don't throw enough elbows most of the time you punch someone in the head in a fight you are going to break your hand.

Based

If more people were like you we'd have a better world.

This

For sure you won't shit yourself in fear when I smack you in the face so hard you fall on your ass. For sure you'll be calm and collected when I stomp your fragile jaw like a wishbone. For sure have the liquid diet and mental retardation I gave you when I kicked your unconscious head into the ground is no big deal, if you even survive. For sure it's irrational to be afraid of the consequences of a physical altercation. Good bait btw

I've seen too many webm's of people becoming fully brain damaged after a single punch.
My life is worth more than having a "fair" fist fight with some random faggot, unless I have an obvious edge over my opponent.

>For sure you won't shit yourself in fear when I smack you in the face so hard you fall on your ass. For sure you'll be calm and collected when I stomp your fragile jaw like a wishbone. For sure have the liquid diet and mental retardation I gave you when I kicked your unconscious head into the ground is no big deal, if you even survive. For sure it's irrational to be afraid of the consequences of a physical altercation. Good bait btw

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Nah they are weak defeated faggots conjuring up a world that is impossible to fight against to justify their fears, and even weaker retards like you stand on the sidelines and cheer for them.

I have a personal story regarding this but I probably shouldn't post it here

>For sure you won't shit yourself in fear when I smack you in the face so hard you fall on your ass. For sure you'll be calm and collected when I stomp your fragile jaw like a wishbone. For sure have the liquid diet and mental retardation I gave you when I kicked your unconscious head into the ground is no big deal, if you even survive. For sure it's irrational to be afraid of the consequences of a physical altercation. Good bait btw

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irrefutable post, well done sir

Keep crying autist, I was making a point about how spergs like in your pictures who have never even played a contact sport, let alone been in a fight, are sheltered enough to make such retarded comments. Obviously by "I" I meant anybody who would actually do that.

You can’t just say that and not post it

You like Huey Lewis and the News?

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>Keep crying autist, I was making a point about how spergs like in your pictures who have never even played a contact sport, let alone been in a fight, are sheltered enough to make such retarded comments. Obviously by "I" I meant anybody who would actually do that.

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Still crying for me like my bitch lol

if you call the cops around here on anyone you better fireproof your home

The best response is to jam your knife into the space between his neck and his chin.

must suck living in a 3rd world shit hole

Just tell him you're gay and have a humiliation fetish, that you welcome a beating. Maybe put on a wig, some lipstick and smooch in his direction. I ain't gay but it works

yeah well i had mega problems in school even without people provoking me so no way i was gonna deal with it.

>Still crying for me like my bitch lol

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>my dude
>my man
please be ironic

Interacting with high school kids at all in this situation would make you look like a loser in a grown woman's eyes.

Still crying for his master. Have a nice life ;)

>Still crying for his master. Have a nice life ;)

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have sex

That weeb is dead now.

>surefire way
nothing in life is "surefire", even saying nothing won't save you from a beating every time

This, even Bruce Lee said your first option should always be to look for an escape out of a fight. Louis is not Bruce Lee and there were 5 of those guys. He would've been killed lol.

Post it you fag

>What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

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id more than likely get my ass beat due to sheer numbers, but id probably just tell him that his intimidation isnt working and to take a swing so i can claim self defence or go away. if i had time id probably taunt him about needing his friends to back him up like a pussy. the smart move would be to just ignore him and leave the cafe if possible. if the woman says any shit about me not being a man for not fighting id ditch her like the cunt she is.

yeah, that's why you'd get your asshole pumped, because of sheer numbers... and if not for all of his friends you could destroy him, with all of your strength... using your muscles.

Knife would probably be blunt. Fork would be a better bet. That kid is asking for it, he just needs to run into one guy with aggression control issues

> Carrying a katana on the subway where you can swing around and his handrails autistically
> Not skewering him rightly with your EDC rapier

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kek

Key every car on the block next time. You'll hit them and your faggot neighbors who wouldn't back you up, and the party house takes the blame.

If five guys want you to catch a whooping, then you're at the mercy of their whim. That grovelling doesn't make a difference. You might apologize, and get stomped for your trouble. You can't know where anyone's line is.

think about this the next time you make fun of some faggot manlet

Random aside: Louis spent some time training out of a boxing gym under Mickey Ward. Not sure how great he was, mind you, but a bit of knowledge goes a long way, and strength is the last thing to go. May well have been able to fuck that kid up on his feet.

The only rapists in that webm are the nogs... haha. :3

If you're within arms length, it's not your gun, it's our gun

implying standing up for yourself infront of "your woman" in the face of certain defeat isnt attractive

>beat you to death in a matter of SECONDS
kek
10 seconds? 9? 8?

t.retard

Sorry you're a fucking pussy who can't take a beating.

woah everyone watch out we got a bad ass over here

Sorry I dont speak english

donde esta la biblioteca?

El sneed

que pasa necesito ayuda

You are a fucking idiot and so is everyone who says fight. We’re you homeschooled and never saw real bullying? You don’t win 5v1. You get your ass beat as a kid and sent to the hospital as an adult. No amount of training is going to change that. It doesn’t make you a pussy to back down from getting your arms or legs broke or dying. Your honor isn’t real, bud. Don’t die over stupid shit.

i take it youd win in a fight against the teen then?

that is correct, i would win. why the long pauses friend?

You betray your own insulated upbringing. You are leaning entirely into the idea that these chucklefucks give a shit about your words, and aren't going to stomp you all the same just for kicks. There are people like that out there, and they're out there in droves.

Different user here. That said, I'm an amateur boxer, 6'2, and walk around at about 2 bills. Yes, I'd drop him.

...with my muscles.

Just stating facts, it's given in any firearm defense manual. If you're brandishing a firearm and within arms reach of your target it's not your firearm it's both of your firearm and can just as easily be turned on you especially if your opponent is faster and stronger than you.

hint hint that 18 year old kid is probably both faster and stronger than your balding 45yo ass, he's also standing while you're seated giving him a huge advantage.

Remember kids if you've got a firearm and your attacker is
0-4 foot = you're dead before even touch your sidearm
5-9 feet = you touch your sidearm can't unholster
10-14 feet = if your firearm is already drawn and ready to shoot you can probably land 2 shots before he touches you, otherwise you'll unholster but die before you get a shot off
15-20 feet = if your hand is already on your sidearm you can usually deliver two shots center of mass, otherwise you may or may not get a shot off and that shot my or may not be on target
21 feet is the minimum gap you want from your attacker(s) if you plan on safely using a firearm against them

>Yea Forums poster can’t get obvious reference to classic kino
What is this board but a thatched barn

The correct thing to do in this situation was to never ask the kids to be quiet in the first place. If a group of rowdy kids are disturbing the peace, leave and go elsewhere. It’s just not worth the risk asking them to quiet down.

You're supposed to poop your pants and pee on yourself so they don't follow through unless they're perverts then you're in real trouble but I doubt all six of the guys were but who knows

>Showing Weakness
This is why you'll never get laid. A Win in this scenario is to leave a positive impression on your date and be free to enjoy the rest of your life after the encounter. Wimping out because you're scared of a bunch of teenagers isn't going to end with her wanting to fuck you. Weakness like that turns pussies to stone.

>If you think an 18 year old man (because that's what he is, not a child) can't beat you to death in a matter of seconds you're a naive fool.
>couple of seconds
>all these experts who have never been in a fight

The average person isn't a professional martial artist dumb shit. The most they know is "punch to face". These people just punch and grab. Stop thinking they can kill you easily. The human body is fucking resilient even untrained.

t. been in shittons of fights both getting my ass kicked and prolapsing someone others ass

>pick up knife utensil

"You ever been stabbed with a knife before?"

Ez.

If your date is worth severe bodily harm to you then you’ve already lost. Drop the ego junior.

>threatening deadly violence
That's actually punishable by law.

>risking your life for a chance at one bitch's pussy
never gonna make it

“Please leave me alone sir, you’re stronger and tougher than me, also I have a small penis and I want you to have sex with my date”

There, counter that faggot

And who will the cops believe? Some punk 18 year old with busted up knuckles or a 45 year old fat bald fuck on a pity date?

>pick up knife utensil

That's a weird way of spelling "fork", friendo.

No, that's a simple question.

Either way, I don't expect this kid to take a pause in his own threats to press charges on yours.

No, that's an actual threat of deadly violence.
Say this shit in front of a cop with clear intent and that's jail time baby.

>Not just solving the problem without risking your life, looking weak, or ending up in prison
This is why you should always stay in school kids.

>Say this shit in front of a cop with clear intent and that's jail time baby

No it isn't.

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oh, so is the witcher going to suck?

>brandishing a knife in front of a cop
>"ever been stabbed officer?"
>thinks this will go over as a innocent question instead of a threat of violence

oh i think he'll be having plenty

When you're 5'5 like I am you're certain to get fucked up in a fight. I have no interest in losing ribs or an eye, or my mobility, because of some retard who can't control his testosterone. Doesn't matter if he's drunk and trying to impress his friends or stupid and thinking he's the cock of walk. Hysterical women are like children, but brutish men are like animals.
If they start assaulting me I run away. What choice do I have? If a bull starts charging you do you stand your ground?

I think you're confused.

I think you're fucking crazy pulling a knife and threatening people and thinking this is normal behavior that won't land you in prison.

I think you're mistaken.

I'm gay by the way if that matters.

I think you need the last word.

I'm mistaken that most people would take having a knife held to them and then asked if they have ever been stabbed would be taken as a clear threat and that threatening people is against the law? Are you seriously this dumb or do you really think you can just threaten people and get away with it?

Bitch ass nigger

I think I have repeatedly, in fact.

>If a bull starts charging you do you stand your ground?
Gracefully pirouette out of the way while simultaneously thrusting in my sword in one practiced motion, obviously.

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You've threatened people with deadly weapons and gotten away with it? Why are you admitting to a crime?

I think I'll be fine.

His first mistake was not asking the boys nicely

If they refuse to keep it down just talk to the manager of the place or something.

Or just leave. If you can't talk the boys down without being able to fight them then you really shouldn't bother to begin with

Not if you keep doing it in public.

I think outside might surprise you.

if we are talking about retrospective plans, your solution is the fat american one. he should have gotten /fit/ and they would bot have picked on him. but realistically and considering his current situation, he should have said: "there are cameras and witnesses everywhere, and I have nothing but time to pursue legal actions if you attack me"

Maybe it's because I don't live in a third world country or hang out in seedy back alleyways. You do that shit here you're going to get in serious trouble. You do that to the police and they don't arrest your ass? What?

He's in NYC he can't have a gun.

I think you need to get out more. Life is for living.

you could just lean onto the table and stand straight up on the couch
then you have the high ground and the guy will by that point have lost, what's he going to do when you fucking kick him in the face as soon as he gets close?

Grab your leg.

not if you play it defensively
there's just nothing you can do against someone on the high ground

Wait until the manager ask you to leave for standing on the seating. Clobber you outside where you don't have the high ground.

if other people at any point are involved you automatically win
>sir, I'm going to have to ask you to lea-
>could you call the police, this man here threatened to assault me, as well as admitting to assaulting another person just a few minutes ago

Deny it, claim the old guy standing on his seat shouting is, in fact, crazy, stomp you when you're both asked to leave.

they can't make you leave without contacting the police anyway, and I'm pretty sure the cops would take alleged threats of assault from a man with bloody knuckles seriously