This is THE best response. Think about it: with this response, Jonah would have
>Been able to laugh off her comment by responding with a joke of his own (defusing the situation and showing he can take a joke and dish it out as well instead of the butthurt comment he actually made) >Changed the focus of the humor from him being fat to her being a whore, expertly turning the tables on her >Established dominance over her, as it reframes him as leaving the room not because she is sexually humiliating him because he's unattractive and she only used him for his access to celebrities, but because she is working for him and reaffirms his status above her in the celebrity hierarchy as it implies the only way she could ever have sex with stars like Brad Pitt is by working as a prostitute under Jonah >Ornella can't respond to this without seeming petty and defensive. She can't even pull the "slut shaming" card because that would be perceived as a massive overreaction on her part towards a simple light hearted joke (and she started it in the first place, so people would be more inclined to side with Jonah) >By prefacing it with "What am I" he expresses ignorance of the situation, instead having to figure out his profession from the circumstances she has described, subtly implying that Ornella herself was saying she was a prostitute and he was her pimp.
That's it. We finally cracked the code. There is NOTHING she could have said in response to this that would have worked for her.
>calling a woman a whore on national television better think this one over Jonah
Wyatt Morris
Pimp is a respected profession in frogcuckia Have you not seen Papillon?
Henry Bennett
>everyone just looks around awkwardly before moving on
Daniel Clark
Actually the best response would have been something like "Do you want me to keep your boyfriend company?". There's no response she could give that wouldn't make her look bad.
Jaxon Powell
>everyone just looks around awkwardly before moving on
Asher Adams
Her response would have been something as easy as "You're not his type"
Austin Brooks
He should have just got pissed and started wrecking the set, throwing shit, screaming at the top of his lungs and got right on a plane back to America
The only response, and I mean only redeeming response would be to get up, walk over to her, smack her not hard enough to bruise, but like a father disciplining a child, and saying >that was incredibly rude. Didn't your father teach you any manners? then take off his mic, drop it and walk slowly to the dressing room. Of course he'd have to apologize by saying something like >i am sorry to so and so, i overreacted to a childish and rude dig, but that didn't give me the right to smack her in the face. He comes away looking like a man instead of a passive aggressive fat faggot.
>everyone that doesn't have his skin stretched to the maximum has wrinkles, jonah
Daniel Thompson
>assault someone because of a joke >comes away looking like a man
oh no no no no no no
Mason Richardson
cringe
Josiah Reyes
WE NEED MORE TIME!!
Kevin James
>assault lol what are they going to do? Send an A-list jew to jail in France? She deserved it.
Gavin Garcia
I forgot Miles Teller was the other guy in War Dogs
Daniel Rivera
beating someone (a woman no less!) because your feelings were hurt by their words is ermm... primitive behavior.
Zachary Sanchez
Language barrier. Wouldn't make any sense to the French-speaking audience. Same reason the "whore frogs" response wouldn't work for Jonah. So many people overlook this.
Oliver Jackson
Who cares? Primitive behavior is what wins at the end of the day, one need only look at the state of white countries to realize that.
Jeremiah Price
undefeated
Nathan Hill
what if he just said 'cringe'?
Cameron Morris
This. Violence is literally the ultimate argument.
Landon Price
doesn't matter what they're gonna do. it's the behaviour of a neandrethal and people who act like that don't a place in a civilized society. if that sadly doesn't convince you: how fucking insecure does someone come across that resorts to physical violence because his feelings got hurt? he'd be seen as the biggest fucking bitch in hollywood.
also, if you seriously think you've won an argument if you slap the other person, you don't know what an argument is and are probably a traumatized little twat.
Josiah Morris
Actually no. I could see how you might think that if your worldview is based entirely off /pol/ memes but if you go outside you will find that chimping out over jokes does not lead to success.
Sure but resorting to the "ultimate" response over a joke is extremely cringe.
John Diaz
>you will find that chimping out over jokes does not lead to success. Not if you're white, but it sure as fuck does if you're black or a Jew.
David Sanders
This is stupid. The solution has been found, despite what you "more time" memers say.
Brody Torres
We...We just need more time
Caleb Hernandez
>What am I, your pimp?
>No, just an ugly fatass
>*AUDIENCE ERUPTS*
James Turner
I—is this it? Did we crack it lads?
Parker Smith
Pulls out glock still hasn't been bested
Alexander Turner
Insulting a man by belittling him sexually is such a cheap fucking low blow that violence is completely warranted. It's basically the male equivalent of what was done to Jonah.
Jack Hernandez
Not clever and makes you sound like a sensitive bitch
To date the best response is
"So are hotel threesomes how you got your job as a weathergirl?"
Honestly though jonahs response wasnt even terrible, just was a bit butthurt sounding
Matthew Turner
no it doesn't, /pol/-tard.
Jaxson Walker
Where is Teller in all this? Should have had his back.
Carson Campbell
Jonah Hill is on the surface a successful actor and a very rich person.
Yet one woman totally destroyed his self-confidence and he's never recovered. Everything since then has been an attempt to assert his masculinity. He's a shell of a man playing a tough guy character. It's truly a pathetic sight.
Thomas Scott
I'm black. It 100% does. Hence why I'm free to knock you the fuck out if you make a racist joke or call me a nigger.
Thomas Moore
>being the target of a joke while joking around >physical violence
how fucking fragile are you if you even compare those two?
Tyler Fisher
I doubt it *motions jack off with hand*
Ayden Campbell
A rhyme would get lost in translation. Try again Ornellacels. You literally cannot beat beat the OP Check and mate.
Christopher Ortiz
wel if you think people take you seriously everytime, alrighty. and no, you aren't. it's still assault and you'd still be a little bitch that can't take a joke.
Brody James
what if johna just went fully along with it and said, yeah then I'd leave but stay in the room next door and jerk my dick while listening to you having a threesome with pitt and caprio and I'm a pathetic fat ugly piece of shit.
the french audience would have roared, it's all about getting that laugh, fuck everything else
Landon Kelly
>Miles: don't worry Jonah, theres hotter chicks waiting for us back in L.A.
>and no, you aren't. it's still assault and you'd still be a little bitch that can't take a joke. And I'd still have the vast majority of people on my side.
Joshua Gonzalez
>i think i'll dream about that too tonight ;)
Camden Miller
It wasn't a joke. It was a deliberate attempt to shame and humiliate him on national television and Ornella knew exactly what the fuck she was doing. It should be a man's god-given right to smack a bitch's face off in a situation like that.
sure it was, you fragile fuck. he should have had the right to rape her too. go live with some apes in the jungle or in afghanistan.
Asher Harris
OH NO NO NO ITS HAPPENING AGAIN BROS
Connor Thomas
It absolutely does, just goes to show that most people would agree, even if the law doesn't. But that's okay, we'll just change the law so it does.
Jaxson Price
The solution is to put your hand to your ear and repeatedly ask "what,I can't hear you" till ornella gets frustrated then you say oh sorry what did you say again.then she has to repeat the same joke which as anyone with high social skills knows is a death sentence
Thomas Ross
>you're too fat to hear? >what? >it's nothing
Gabriel Gomez
>its all about getting a laugh
You sound like you let people step on you
Tyler Perez
>You know Ornella, you think about food way more than I do.
Levi Thomas
sounds childish how would that help Jonah
Dominic Clark
>we will just vote to make casual violence legal xD
the sad thing is you are completely sincere
Elijah Martinez
Honestly ive done this in my daily life for a while. If anyone takes shots at you, pretending not to hear them or being confused makes them mad
However your plan has a fatal flaw, this doesnt work when they have an audience.
Nicholas Morales
unironically go outside and have sex
Brandon Price
All I'm hearing is that you have a non-functioning pituitary gland and have at least considered an "open" relationship with every woman you've ever been with. Choke on a dick and fucking die.
Jonathan Phillips
Jonah could have said "I might be a Paris 4 but you're an LA 3."
Brody Nelson
no, it doesn't. having many people on your side doesn't make you right. lol i'm sure you will
in a private situation I could just say fuck you hoe but if you're the guest of a comedy show as a comedy actor and she pulls that shit it's all about that laugh, with everything elso you lose
Robert Rodriguez
>uga-uga me man cuz i beat people hue hue
Colton Jones
>man of action huh
Asher Gutierrez
jonah can go *sniff sniff* I just ate 10 buckets of kfc but for some reason i smell fish then he keeps sniffing while orienting his face towards her vagina then he just laughs
0 comeback,whats she gonna do?call him fat? after he said he just ate 10 kfc buckets?
He could have just been super materialistic and snarky by saying "Good thing I'm richer than you'll ever be."
Hunter James
SIMULATION FAILED RESETTING
Joseph Watson
Fuck off Jonah. You got assraped billion times before any real "solution"
Mason Russell
i know what part of your body doesn't work, there's no other explanation for being this insecure also >i can't control my violent impulses >your brain doesn't work lmao
Carson Butler
Yeah I would probably leave to go find a good-looking woman haha
Nolan Jackson
>yeah I guess you don't really think about what you devour
Caleb Rodriguez
>You know it's funny you would say that because Brad just recently told me that HIS sexual fantasy was having sex with a beautiful French girl...(pause) so do you know any?
There.
Chase Taylor
>I probably heard the microwave ping Self deprecating while subtly implying she is less important than some 2 minute ready meal
Hunter Howard
Bantz 101, never respond with a rhetorical question if you know they aren't close friends. That's just setting them up for a comeback. You need to make an assertion; suggesting it will only make you seem weak.
Instead of "What am I, your pimp?", it'd be better if he said "I stopped being your pimp a long time ago, Ophelia, let it go." Even saying a different name would suggest she's beneath you. This is the revised comeback that would absolutely crush her.
Evan Garcia
>HITTING WOMEN IS WRONG BECAUSE... WELL.... B-BECAUSE IT JUST IS!!!!!!!
>Jonah starts screaming nigger over and over and slapping his forehead >A few days later he comes out and apologizes for it explaining he has dealt with autism his whole life, and while he doesnt blame the talk show it did add to his meltdown. Ironically, he's seen as a progressive and someone for people to look up to. Ornella is still forgotten.
Only took 5 years. Somebody get Jonah on the phone.
Jeremiah Thompson
That's good advice and a good one.
Alexander Watson
Continuing from my last post. If she tries to get back at Jonah by correcting "Ophelia", he could simply say "Oh yeah that was your stage name". Or he can simply do the Trump approach like how he called Jeb a tough guy. "Oh yeah no one cares, Eunice-" *Continues on with the interview.* But the latter is heavily dependant on his confidence and speed so if he seems uncomfortable, it won't work. But he'll definitely make her regret telling that long-winded story.
exactly the french people would have loved that, the more vile the better. He could follow it up with screaming 'I love stanky pussy' while the audience still laughs from his first absurdist joke, even say it in a fake french accent to subtly signify that you shit on the whole of france too
Luke Sullivan
>yeah.... you
Adrian Davis
great ornellaposting
James Moore
That...doesn't make sense.
Gabriel Russell
>I stopped being your pimp a long time ago, Ophelia, let it go >I think you're confused. Pimps aren't the ones fucking the clients Jonah.
Parker Bailey
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MORE TIME
James Cruz
Refer to the second post. "Yeah no one cares Olivia- uhh" *continues the interview* Conan O'brien does this. You're letting her know that her comeback is poor quality damage control and you're here for an interview, not some petty roast session.
thing is this joke might land wrong don’t see how joking about the local french weather woman being a whore makes for good comeback
Tyler Ward
And that's more of a "parry", if you really wanna counterattack you can be clever by saying "Wow you really are a -loose- cannon, Ornella." Now you purposely say her name correctly because you're making it clear that you're calling her a whore. She can't go headhunting at this point because it'll come off as desperate.
Brayden Gomez
Because it's just as obvious as Jonah Hill being fat. You're playing with the same logic here. Jonah's fat and she's likely been passed around by (((producers))).
one is socially accepted to laugh about the other ond is not
Chase Fisher
That's the point. You have to essentially Norm Mcdonald it up and make the thot regret trying to do bantz. But this approach is heavily dependant on tongue in cheek, shameless delivery. It'll work because French people (and Europeans in general) will see that as a "Oh haha goofy American is so upfront and confident". It's the only way he'll come out winning.
Adrian Russell
hitting anyone is wrong if it isn't done to prevent other violence, caveman.
Connor Bailey
Who cares, this fat jew deserves to get humiliated
Chase Hill
don't leave me
Charles Price
He'd be so humiliated he would have to reset the simulation
If jonah wanted to do that all he'd have to do is sit on her
Ryder Torres
>No, my blimp >"No!" BASED!
Luke Johnson
Holy fuck user, you did it. Even if she responds with some dumb shit like "more like my blimp" you still retain the upper hand by the previous role established with you as the master, as nature intends, despite your disparity in attractiveness. 10/10 based and Patrice pilled
Brayden Nguyen
Even that'd work. "I'm one croissant away from sitting on you." All of these would work on her, provided that you're not some insecure beta autist.
Charles Rivera
...
William Torres
IT WAS OUR TURN
John Jenkins
We've been having this thread everyday for five years though
Michael Long
oh gawd here we go again THERE IS NO REPLY you pack of monkies
This wouldn't have been a massive meme if Jonah had just clapped back for 2 rounds. Let this be a lesson for us all anons, you just have to win 2 rounds before the other person seems desperate and petty. If people start sensing that the other person is trying to "win" rather than being witty, you win.
The only good response would have been to call up Dicaprio, his literal best friend and have Dicaprio say Ornella isn't his type
Isaac Gutierrez
>This wouldn't have been a massive meme if Jonah had just clapped back for 2 rounds.
No he wouldn't even have to clap anything back. Just laugh at stupid joke and move on instead of acting like insecure fat boy. He could have fucked Ornella that night. She was flirting.
Robert Johnson
This is a power move. Even if she called him fat and unattractive, he ends up taking over the show.
Jacob Turner
>he's seen as a progressive and someone for people to look up to. Literally wouldn't happen if he screamed the n-wordm
Asher Wilson
No she wasn't. He was the butt of her long-winded joke, that's not flirting. Lmao autistic ass nigga, he thinks a 30 second conversation with a girl is flirting. This bitch needed to be put in her place.
Bentley Morris
This is exactly what would happen.
Adam Hughes
Risky, what if he says she's his type? More laughing
>yeah let's call my best friend in the middle of a tv show to ask him if he likes this omella girl(what's your last name ?) (...) are you getting the point
Charles Perez
"I'll actually make this happen but on one condition; I'm getting in on the action too." You tell a woman you're gonna run a train on her on TV.
Parker Cruz
sometimes you just have to admit defeat Jonah. It doesnt improve the situation to try and come up with a witty response years later.
Robert Lewis
>He was the butt of her long-winded joke
True, but getting triggered over joke is truly beta move. Just smirk and move on. Jonah's reaction was classic fat boy insecurity.
Dominic Stewart
So what happened
Dylan Allen
>french translation of Jonah : Je suis quoi, ton maquereau ? >Ornella: Plutôt ma baleine.
>I'll actually make this happen but on one condition; I'm getting in on the action too." You tell a woman you're gonna run a train on her on TV. might got jonah metoo'd before it was a thing
Julian Williams
Smirking is coy and beta. A proper toothy grin with laughter actually reveals you're not offended and appreciate the punchline. I feel like you let women clown you because you think that's how you get laid. Unironically if a woman isn't your wife or long-term gf and she tries that, he deserves to be berated.
Josiah Ross
habile.
Brody Baker
Depends on how he says it. If actually says it with the intention of a shameless punchline rather than a desperate attempt of a power play, people won't read into it too much and move on to the next portion of the interview.
Eli Stewart
Mackerel?
Bentley Bennett
french for pimp
Joseph Martinez
>You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right, I'm not attractive. But I also think you're not attractive. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you... but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I'm not changing. I like... I like me. My wife likes me. My fans like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get
Jack Hernandez
means both the fish and the mack, because of the black and white suit.
I'm not fat, basedboy. All the suggestions I posted only work if you actually have a natural level of wit and charm. Hill's an actor so he should be able to pull those off, he was just caught off guard.
Ayden Ortiz
It literally does. The world runs on might makes right and no amount of incels seething on pol will ever change that.
Adrian Gray
CUT THE FEED!!! CUT THE FEEEED!!!
Jose Wright
Someone post the pasta where Jonah pulls out a gun
Austin Foster
this, I realized most of what you say doesnt fucking matter anyway and people react more to how you say it. I have a shy autistic coworker and even if he cracks decent jokes or just asks normal things it is cringy as fuck. Sometimes I feel a bit bad but it is so goddamn hard to talk to him, he is always so nervous and takes everything so literal and serious. I used to be a bit like that and it shows me how much I have changed and how differently people react to me compared to him. The things we say have the same meaning but the delivery is completely different.
Jacob Murphy
When coming up with a response, you basically need to take Jonah into account, and sadly the only real play for Jonah is to completely cuck out. A response like: "Weird, that's my fantasy too" Would go down a lot better than trying to fire back.
Jason Sanchez
Oh fuck oh god oh fuck oh god oh fuck
Nicholas Foster
WE WERE SO CLOSE
Angel Martinez
Exactly. Delivery is the key factor. If you stutter or sound nervous, you die.
Connor Gomez
NOOO FUCK YOU CUNT WE NEED MORE TIME
Jace Phillips
this
Jason Smith
Then it just wouldn't make sense when translated back to Jonah and the wider english-speaking audience worldwide. The impact of the jab is still massively softened by translation.
Levi Johnson
just act like the translator told you something different, maybe that she would chose you over Pitt and DiCaprio.
Joseph Price
>No, m-
*pulls out glock*..."Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. You were saying? No please, continue... I'd love to hear the rest of this fantasy of yours. EVERYONE ELSE SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP! What's the matter, frog got your tongue? You seemed so talkative before, what changed? Oh this? Yeah, this is normal to carry where I'm from, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the first real one you've seen. No, don't look at anyone else, look at me. Look at me because I'm the one in control of your life right now. I'm in charge. No, don't cry, that's not going to help you. Not even a little. Wanna know why? Because at this very moment, here and now, as far as you're concerned I'm God and unless you play your cards right, I could very well be the last thing you ever see. So save your tears for someone who cares and choose your next words really fucking carefully now you stupid French bitch. You disgusting whore. Because this is my show now and your fifteen minutes are almost up. Now tell me what you are. Repeat what I just called you. And start taking off your clothes as you do it. Yeah that's right. One piece at a time. Right here and now on national television. Be thankful, I'm about to make you a star..."
Ryder Williams
The genuine incel rage this was written in is what makes it.
Charles Sanders
Hot
Nathaniel Johnson
Suppose someone (perhaps a particularly primitive seeming male) told you your mother was an ugly retard who deserved to be raped to death in front of a crowd of people Cause in that situation, I would break the nearest glass/grab the nearest sharp object and shove it in their eye. Without a second thought
Cameron Reed
your mom is a whore user
Noah Fisher
French people can speak English, retard
Jayden Miller
(You)
Daniel Cox
no t. françois
Carson White
Why the fuck do they still speak french then
Christian Jenkins
i beg the differ but i'm sure omella can
Lucas Reed
can they?
Xavier Wilson
>N-Nooo the whore frogs no work cause translation >Now they all speak English Make up your mind, Ornellacel
Brandon Gomez
this almost sounds like Jonah himself wrote it with the amount of rage it involves. masterpiece/10
Lincoln Hill
>im sorry, but im sure they dont want to get aids done
>Yeah well u have AIDS lol Juvenile and overtly butthurt
Jayden Clark
ikr? she would seem childish with any response. any denial of her part about not having aids would give jonah foot for a hipotetical denial of her own, its a circular argument in wich jonah always wins
Josiah Rogers
>be a comedian >can't think of a witty comeback to some cheap whore who humiliates you in front of millions of people
It barely warrants a response at all. He'd get a "yikes" expression from Ornella and the audience in general as the reply hangs in the air like the bad fart it is.
James Flores
>be a comedian comedic actor
Ryan Brooks
Kek I was slowly scrolling down the thread waiting for this and I wasn't disappointed
Evan Long
This would have unironically destroyed his career
Colton Rivera
>oh honey, i think their standards are way higher
Anthony Morris
I think this is the best meme Yea Forums has produced
Ryan Taylor
tasty pasta
Christian Harris
>You know, that's the second time I've heard that this week >I think you're a little old for DiCaprio >Pulls out phone and says "You want to call and ask right now?"
James Mitchell
This meme is "jerk store" costanza tier.
Joseph Edwards
You guys think Jonah is awake at night, thinking about what he should have said?
Cooper Phillips
Holy shit I'M SHAKING!!!! I'M SHAKING!!!!! You hit the nail on the head OP! It's finally over!
>it doesnt translate Yes it does? There’s no clever rhymes or wordplay to get lost in translation. The idea of Jonah prostituting Ornella in response to her hypothetical can be communicated in French easily.
Bentley Wright
“Haha I think you’re a bit old for Leo but you never know!”
>Throwing shade at your best friend to get back at some whore Weak
Carson Russell
Most men would see leo’s preference for younger cunny as based. The purpose would be to remind her that her rapidly fading youthful appearance, her only value, is already lowering her options. He would have to deliver in a nonchalant all in good fun manner.
Noah Ramirez
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Robert Phillips
Feed her
Levi Reed
the right move is jerk store. 100%.
Parker Lee
In how many did we have enough time?
Nathan Ramirez
Sorry. I'm here to discuss War Dogs, not Whore Frogs.
