>Everybody already knows that Disney’s new remake of The Lion King is a sham; that its “live-action” selling point misrepresents the fact that the real-looking animals are actually digitally generated images. Only the casual acceptance of this blatant deception is new.
>Disney’s “family entertainment” crest, a decades-old axiom, is also a euphemism for the millennium’s new reorganized cultural habits. Parents are expected to induct children into the process of mindless consumer gratitude. Knowing you’re being rooked is part of the fun, which gives new meaning to Mufasa teaching his cub Simba to appreciate his role in the never-changing production-purchase cycle — called “The Circle of Life” in the highly merchandized Oscar-nominated theme song.
>The rite-of-passage storyline of the original 1994 animated Lion King is based on traditional themes — successfully employed in the reimagined Broadway adaptation by classically trained Julie Taymor. But canonical concepts of the social order (the lions’ pride), family honor, individuality, and courage belong to conventions that are now in chaos. Challenges to patriarchy sever The Lion King’s connection to the teachings of myth.
>What the 1994 cartoon treated as cute satire — in the song “Hakuna Matata” sung by warthog Pumbaa and meerkat Timon — rings hollow in this new version where those creatures possess ugliness rather than charm and promote special-group interest. None of this can be defended as a trendy political allegory as some reviewers contend. Besides, the underlying praise of monarchy is always a problem for fashionable, egalitarian, supposedly woke Afrocentricity.
>Disney’s blatant cultural agenda explains the disaster of The Lion King. We can clarify the film’s deception by highlighting its production-purchase cycle and recognizing the unmistakable — not coincidental — political objectives of the filmmakers. This is how it works. It’s a Dishonor Roll:
>Jon Favreau (Director): After turning Marvel’s Iron Man to visual dung, he is now Disney’s fake-reality hack and is key to understanding how this digitally rejiggered Lion King (like Favreau’s Jungle Book) continues the con job of Marvel’s Black Panther. Favreau’s unnamed African veldt might as well be New Wakanda.
>Donald Glover (Simba): His dubious street cred as rapper Childish Gambino distorts the film’s bildungsroman concept, as he sells a CGI version of his ghetto-pathology TV series Atlanta.
>Chiwetel Ejiofore (Scar): Evokes the grim horror he endured in 12 Years a Slave by voicing the mangy usurper — no longer Jeremy Irons’s effete, gayish, villain of 1994.
>John Oliver (Zazu): HBO’s political “comic” becomes the herald of Pride Rock; he controls the film’s narrative.
>James Earl Jones (Mufasa): The one 1994 veteran repeats his original role as Simba’s father, adding sonorous Darth Vader cred.
>Alfre Woodard (Sarabi): The dotty house wench in 12 Years a Slave becomes Mufasa’s mate, Queen of the Pride Lands, and Simba’s mother. Progress?
>Keegan-Michael Key (Kamari) and Eric André (Azizi): These peanut-gallery TV comics serve as Scar’s Spotted Hyenas henchmen, Antifa-in-waiting.
>Seth Rogen (Pumbaa): Channels his dirtbag shtick into the warthog who sings the “no worries” theme song “Hakuna Matata,” a nihilist philosophy.
>Billy Eichner (Timon): TV’s harassment comic, cast as the meerkat, harmonizing on “Hakuna Matata” about life as “a meaningless line of indifference” without irony.
>Beyoncé Knowles-Carter (Nala): Not just Simba’s love interest but the era’s leading purveyor of Afrocentric kitsch. As the film’s cultural linchpin, she accuses Simba, “You don’t even know who you are!” Her rhythmic diction on “You’re not the Simba I remember” is pure Destiny’s Child. And during the live-action uprising, her call “Are you with me, lions!” awakens the Beyhive. It is the Disney corporation’s single most calculated moment since buying the Star Wars franchise.
>None of this wink-wink inauthenticity was a problem when Zack Snyder’s Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’hoole — the most exquisitely designed animated film since Fantasia — respected the moral values in coming-of-age narratives. Biblical and Shakespearean archetypes are trivialized by the new Disney. Its style of fake realism prevents one from imaginatively projecting onto the animation. When Simba comes into his own and must defend his tribe against his scheming uncle Scar and the menacing, invasive Hyenas, there’s no emotional power. The Lion King’s parallels to the historical lessons of Greek mythology or fairy-tale morality just feel like vague memories.
I don't give a shit what anyone says. Armond is based. The list of his favourite films which he submitted for sight and sound poll is better than the shit Yea Forums usually talks about. He has better taste than 99% of people who criticize him.
Brayden Flores
complete idiot. but still not as stupid as pic related
Yeah I wonder how he manages to write his "reviews" with Snyder's cock so far down his throat
Alexander Collins
having better taste than Yea Forums is a really pretty low bar ffs
Easton Taylor
Contrarian who gave Jack & Jill a good review
Aaron Evans
pretty based
Jackson Myers
>Only the casual acceptance of this blatant deception is new. I love this man
John Long
He has better taste then most moviegoers and people who criticize him. Not only Yea Forums. Also some people on Yea Forums have a good taste.
Tyler Fisher
>Zack Snyder’s Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’hoole — the most exquisitely designed animated film since Fantasia Kek based king always being overly ridiculous.
Christopher Reed
>None of this wink-wink inauthenticity was a problem when Zack Snyder’s Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’hoole — the most exquisitely designed animated film since Fantasia
has anyone of you actually watched this stupid owl movie? it has the most convuluted bullshit lore imaginable you probably have to take a college course to unstand all the retarded terminology a cgi movie about owls shouldn't be this complicated
The only thing I know about this movie came from the story where the guy was stuck in a desert and this was the only thing he could find to watch in English
Brayden Bell
It's directed by Snyder, of course it's a mess.
It also amuses me that Owl City are on the soundtrack just because they have "Owl" in their name
Juan Howard
>only praises James Earl Jones based
Carson King
>It is the Disney corporation’s single most calculated moment since buying the Star Wars franchise.
We are hitting based levels that shouldn't even be possible.
>Glover as Lando targets the nerd chic audience through idiotic Black Lives Matter marketing. Like the actor-rapper's recent (unimaginative) millennial anthem "This is America" which confuses Prince's soul-funk pizazz and racial eccentricity with dull Democratic manipulation and cynical social conformism, Solo is a film that corrupts the radical essence of its heritage. It sets both the Black and the nerd communities back 60 years, it is Obama politricks and Marvel imperialism. Jim Crow meets Flash Gordon, Disney is the new plantation and self-proclaimed nerds are happily picking up the cotton. At least the Lucas prequels had Jar-Jar Binks and flatulence gags, a bona-fide iteration of Black insouciance and freedom in a post-Eddie Murphy world. Comedic truth versus manufactured indignation. Solo epitomizes blockbuster nihilism and banality.
Armond White is the only mainstream movie critic that actually studied film As such, he puts more importance on framing and directing and photography than people would like, because the most important thing for a moviegoer is fanservice As such, White is treated like an idiot because he praises Snyder movies for looking pretty and managing to sneak in some visual themeing in an otherwise surface level genre while the average viewer is crying because the fake comicbook character did not act the way he wanted to, and as such calls armond white a retard
Samuel Allen
king of Yea Forums
Caleb Reyes
>it is Obama politricks and Marvel imperialism. Jim Crow meets Flash Gordon, Disney is the new plantation and self-proclaimed nerds are happily picking up the cotton >a bona-fide iteration of Black insouciance and freedom in a post-Eddie Murphy world how can one single man be so based?
Owls of Gahoole is an infinitely better “shot” movie. I guess to indulge in the “it’s live action” fantasy Favreau decided to shoot Lion King like a faux documentary with mostly flat angles. Owls at least had breathtaking cinematography.
Hunter Bailey
The best part is he's not wrong.
Luke Evans
I fucking knew he would name drop the Snyder owl movie in this review kek he's so predictable based contrarian meme nigger
Juan Russell
>Jim Crow meets Flash Gordon, Disney is the new plantation and self-proclaimed nerds are happily picking up the cotton. Goddamn, Armond!
Owen Hughes
Fucking amazing.
Gavin Nelson
he's the one true king of Yea Forums
Brandon Rodriguez
>Seth Rogan (Pumbaa): Channels his dirtbag shtick into the warthog who sings the “no worries” theme song “Hakuna Matata,” a nihilist philosophy.
based
Samuel Thompson
fucking shit, savage
Sebastian Mitchell
Holy based. These recent films are completely soulless corporatism and morons think it means more.
Eli Kelly
Why is Rian so obsessed with Armond that he spends the whole evening tweeting about him.
Zachary Torres
>Zack Snyder’s Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’hoole — the most exquisitely designed animated film since Fantasia
Holy shit, my sides are in orbit.
Colton Clark
Funny how none of the things you mentioned are included in the excerpts of his Lion King review. He mainly focuses on politics and context around the film rather than the film itself.
Colton Perez
how can you tell someone's political beliefs fall on the right wing of the spectrum they will tell you about it, over and over again, every chance they get
Caleb Thomas
the only real reviewer left
Isaac Cooper
well he writes for national review
Christian Clark
absolute savage
how has he not been assassinated by the mossad yet?
Joshua Richardson
>right wingers making their lives interesting by pretending that throwing out buzzwords turns you into the enemy of the state with a bounty on your head
