IT HAPPENED
IT HAPPENED
Holy fuck, Everybody's here!
>he didnt gain weight for it
no dedication
hahaha weed lol
His daughter is morphing into Lena Dunham.
Hey look Affleck's back
does he have cancer? why does he look like he's eroding from the inside
w o w... this looks fucking awful
Wow, this look fucking nice.
>old Shannon Elizabeth
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
this shit stopped being funny when i was in high school. who even thought this was a good idea?
>remaking a movie that lost money 20 years later when no one cares any more
This looks horrendous, the actors included
Jays face has been permanently altered by meth and chlamydia
Piefucker is back
Did Jason Mewes never have teeth or did he lose them all in the last ten years?
he has a massive heart attack and had to lose weight for health reasons
shuthefucka or suck your cocka
This just doesn't look funny. It's the performances more than anything. Doesn't have any energy.
smith does projects for jason to be in so he doesnt kill himself with drugs
Looks like complete garbage.
Looks written to be 90 minutes of quotes and nothing more.
I'm in.
Meth destroyed all his teeth, he's got a full set of fake chompers that make his jaw look weird
They all look so fucking old.
FUCK.
why time gotta do white women like that. it aint fair,
Is this shit getting dumped on Netflix?
When you grow old without growing up, you look like shit. He's pushing 50 now.
Wait
So it's just like...Epic Movie, or whatever? It's just one of those shitty "spoof" films where they just do cameos and pastiches of popular genre movies of the time?
That seems pretty uninspired.
There are other people, younger than you, that are in high school right now. Rumor has it they may even post on this very board...and spend they money casually.
>chlamydia
what does that have to do with his face?
Clerks had charm
Dogma was edgy
This is just sad
looks like sterile, paint by numbers garbage
lol no there arent
I'm not saying you have to watch any of them, but you clearly have never seen a Kevin Smith movie you faggot reddit spacer.
Based Randall actor turned turned down on coming back for Clerks 3 because it was not worth earning a six figure payment in exchange for the loss of dignity that would come with starring in Clerks 3.
You seem nice.
Haven't you heard? That's the best you can get now.
>It's not Clerks 3
Ya blew it, Smith.
even compared to the last Jay & Silent Bob movie / Clerks 2 this looks bad
>but you clearly have never seen a Kevin Smith movie you faggot reddit spacer.
I've seen pretty much all of them though. The problem is, they're taking the shit from Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back and just cranking up to 11 and it looks retarded now because they're just lifting shit from actual movies, rather than just making fun of the industry in general.
Clerks was cool back in the 90s and still has charm today as a "group of friends just making a film having a laff" kinda thing.
Who cares about the movie.
But that was a bad trailer.
>still trying to make his ugly kike daughter a thing
oh i see now he's laundering through his daughter by paying her
where yo teef nigga?
It's the ugly daughter of Kevin Smith there too!!!
As a massive fan of the first this looks shit. Disappointed
That and no George Carlin cameo is a bummer, I'll still watch it though just in case Mark Hamill comes back. I would love for him to rip on nuWars in this movie a bit.
Wanted to make fun of S.Elizabeth, but these two look ten times worse
she hit the wall pretty hard
I'M THE CRAFTIEST MOTHERFUCKER ALIVE I SAID YOU LOVED THE COCK
>bonjour ms elizabeth
I wanted to be him so, so badly in high school...
she was 27 in American Pie
She's 5 years away from 50. Looks her age honestly.
dude they smoke marijuana
Who wanted this? Who would watch this? Jay looks like a soggy diaper floating in a pool now
Yes, Clerks is a good movie. However, Kevin Smith and the gang are pushing 50, so a continuation of the Clerks story would be really cringy.
NO WAY!
Does God and the angels return?
The wall claims them all.
I quit him so hard after Tusk, and that's speaking as someone who fucking loves Clerk II.
Why are we filming my scenes first?
Matt Damon looked like he was in the Loki costume. And he got Alanis for a three second cameo at the end of the last one and she was much more relevant back in 2003 or whatever it was, so I wouldn't be surprised if he got it again
It's funny that kevin's daughter is playing mewes daughter in the movie given that she's actually mewes daughter in real life.
Where did his teeth go?
I loved Clerks 2
this is all I want to know
we saw matt damon in a church, we gonna get salma hayek and the shitmonster too?
>Meth
He never did meth. It was always heroin.
I'm surprised he didn't shoehorn some Keanu scenes in there, based on his recent surge of popularity.
Clerks 2 was a downgrade from the first one, but it had some redeeming scenes and the cast was good for the most part
and it was considered a shitty sequel, was the point I was trying to make
>muslim in headdress miming a blowjob
hnnnnng
WHERE DID THEIR TEETH GO?
youtube.com
Disrespectful, really brought it down.
Why is the bar so low for female attractiveness? If you put that big gargoyle nose and moon face on a guy he'd be on /r9k/ right now celebrating bianca's murder. but slap some tits on and suddenly its attractive? i don't get it
is that Q from Impractical Jokers???
Weird thinking Kevin Smith is about the same age as John Wayne in The Searchers, yet he's still acting like he's 17. Only change is that he's more weepy and with dumber jokes.
Based on the car gag I think they might be doing lots of jokes about nobody giving a shit about them smoking pot, showing they're stuck in the past?
Bad, just bad...
Kevin, why didn't you have a fan help write and direct the movie? It would've been awesome if you had a fresh eyes on the material to give you an outside perspective on your characters.
MIDGETS NIGGA
Marion was a faggot draft dodger who only acted tough and mature on camera. The difference between the two is that Kevin Smith doesn't act, he's just himself in the movies.
t. salty boomer
it's a typical comedy sequel
>black absentee father
>islamophobic depiction of headscarf woman giving a blowjob
>references to transphobic movie (silence of the lambs)
>career launched by rapist weinstein
kevin smith is getting cancelled
Actually if you ever read Kevin smiths my own shadow (which is a really good read about his time in Hollywood with jay and all the drug fuelled crazy shit he did) you would find jay started looking really thin like that after a several month long crack binge. He never really gained the weight back and hasn’t looked right since.
Lol this dumb ass nigga thinks its a remake
He can't be. He's retreated from Hollywood and pretty much burned every bridge on the business side with stunts like advertising an auction for distribution rights for a movie, and then going onstage after showing it and saying to the audience of people interested in bidding that he's selling them to himself for $1 because distributors need to get fucked. He just podcasts and makes tiny little movies in his own little world with friends and family.
>tfw when you cringe at the thought of enjoying early kevin smith after seeing what a pile of human refuse he is now
>transphobic movie (silence of the lambs)
But the movie made sure to point out that Bob wasn't a transgender killer, he was just an insane killer who thought it'd fix his life the same way he earlier though being a nazi would fix his life.
You have to watch the movie to get that, and nobody's going to watch the movie because it's obviously transphobic.
Don't be retarded, nuance doesn't matter anymore.
>transphobic
It was part biopic of ed gein, who wanted to recreate his mother out of skin you nonce
>makes tiny little movies in his own little world with friends and family.
This looks decently budgeted, with a lot of surprising cameos ( I didn't think he'd get more than few this time) he's probably hoping this will be his big comeback. If it does well, THEN he will be canceled
Why is the swat guy the computer geek from 2049?
Oh look, another soulless and shameless cash grab rehash.
He used to work for Smith in the 90's.
youtu.be
holy shit I hate these people
>That and no George Carlin cameo is a bummer,
Well his corpse rotted a while back, I guess they could have taken his bones out of the grave but you wouldn't recognize it from any other skeleton
I hated it, the girl I was with liked it
Fuck fuck fuck fuck
kevin smith looks more like some crazy homeless man than he does silent bob at this point
Why does he always make this same face?
jesus christ she is one plastic surgery away from becoming Cher
>Redman and Method man from "How High"
Brings back memories. I might even watch this one
Still would
>implying you wouldn't cry if CIA finally told you you were a big guy
Too much onions from being a vegan
EW
Except Cher can keep singing no matter how many surgeries and wigs she's under. This girl couldn't act to begin with so all she's got is her looks.
He's perfected it
>a confused Keven Smith had to be escorted offset after threatening to fight the director
Yeah I am sure you are the only two megachads posting on Yea Forums
damn that trailer was shit
I doubt it.
There are three ways to get movies made. You fuck around in Hollywood with the studios, getting a studio to green light it. Or you get the money either from yourself, people you know, investors, or grants, or whatever else, then take it to festivals and hope somebody buys it from you. Or you finance it by selling distribution rights upfront, striking deals like, give us $5 million and you can distribute the movie in Europe, or give us $10 million and we'll give it to Amazon for distribution in the US.
Kevin Smith has a high enough profile that he pretty much does option three. Something like Tusk that cost a couple million was a break-even for him and the guy who funded it after they sold foreign distribution before it was even made, and when he's dealing with properties like Clerks / Mallrats / Jay and Silent Bob, rights are a lot easier to sell for more money than the walrus thing. It's all totally independent and he's working with random companies and small amounts of money. Doesn't cost much money to make a movie look decent enough with digital cameras these days.
Did Mewes start doing meth? his face looks off somehow? like around the mouth area.
>donnel rawlings
based
why does he keep trying to shoving his daughter down our throats? she's the worst
this is the ultimate boomer movie
well, she's in the new tarantino movie
hopefully only a cameo.
nice meth mouth jays got
wow another sequel
Elaborate
damn they look really fucking old
don't do drugs kids
> gen x, dare i say it, are worst than boomers?
he lost like 50 pounds in tears over capeshit movies
It is she's playing a Manson girl but not one of the main ones.
this looks awful, and I love JaSB:SB
HOLY FUCK
Is this the holy grail of CRINGE???????????????
I'm not a Kevin Smith hater, in fact I'm old enough to have rented Mallrats on vhs on a Blockbuster so I frequently ride the nostalgia horse with the jersey trilogy but fuck me this shit looks fucking awful at levels never ever reached before
If by any fucking chance YOU are reading this: stop man, just stop, for real
At least Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are still talking to him.
JUST
he turned it down because he barely wanted to do 2 in the first place and through Hollywood jew account he didn’t see a dime for it
why yes I am bitch what are you going to cry about it
How fucking crazy is it that the last great lightsaber duel Mark Hamil ever filmed was in the first Jay and Silent Bob film?
>dude weed lmao
he never grew up because he never needed to
>ITT: These people in their 50s dont look as good as they did 20 years ago
Genius
The fact they are trying to is the problem
i fucking hate kevin smith
If you don't want to be judged by how you looked 20 years ago then don't make a film that's trying to look like something you did 20 years ago.
AFFLECK, YOU THA BOMB IN JUSTICE LEAGUE YO
HELL YEAH!yeeehaaa!!!!!
go fuck a pie, piefucker
My legs are still shaking!
Haha look at them trying to put every race possible including Muslims in this movie. Islam is more prominent than any other religion. Imagine a religion that attacks your country is also put on a pedestal by SJWs.
Forced humor/bad jokes, aged actors, relying on cameos, pop culture references. Where were you when zombie Hollywood a la zombie Simpsans?
Yo wiggity, wiggity! Look at this hijab wearing Muslim girl smoking weed and handing out pre marital blow jobs. This is totally a realistic depiction yo! Get homogenized in multi culti consumer culture yo!
>Afleck Bomb Cameo
I'm sold
Formerly alive
The term "useful idiots" comes to mind.
Just realised that this movie is literally zombie Jay and Silent Bob. XD
will they ever top this scene?
Unironically based
I'm assuming he eventually went on to get a big boy job. He probably has a reputation to consider.
Like this guy had to stop voicing the protagonist in Saints Row because he's brit nobility.
They got a new guy to play Jay?
Makes me sad he’s steeping this low.
Soul
Soulless
is amy going to be in this
>Silent Bob
but he can talk...
the new one just misses the orchestral music, probably didn't have the budget for it. That's the main difference I think.
looks bad but I'll still see it for nostalgia
Would you watch the movie if they put on old people special effects make-up like Bad Grandpa and made the movie about how badly stoner culture has aged using their old Jay and Silent Bob characters living in 2019 for juxtaposition.
What is the opposite of nostalgia where it makes you hate the original?
>DUDE LOOK AT THESE A LIST ACTORS ALL IN ONE MOVIE LMAO
Three words: hella f*ckin epic
Jay looks terrible and forgot how to act
i've lived long enough to see everything i love die
I must've watched Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back over a hundred times in high school. Don't think I can resist checking this out.
Kevin Smith is a fucking hack.
Stop, Stop, He's already Sneed
kevin smith never find his place.
ill help: in the gargabe.
pathetic pot smoking retard who cannot do anything borderline interesting anymore.
> try to get creative? come up with zombie nazi little sausages.
> try to come go back to the roots? repeat the exact same jokes with the exact same actors, that are now older, uglier and sad to look at.
stop. just fucking stop. its embarassing.
>IT HAPPENED
More like "WHAT HAPPENED?"
>that gray fox look
Oooh, Mr. Sheffieeeeld!
FMKK
HIS DAUGHTER IS SO HIDEOUS!!!
He's so genuinely afraid to try.
It's almost inspiring, in a what not to do kind of way
Looks like shit but then again the second movie sucked too. Clerks was miles better.
Holy shit all these jokes are so old
The perfect harem.
He's literally plaing a pedophile monster on the magicians
>The new set of characters in the Clerks franchise bring a refreshing breath of fresh air to a series that was unbearably white and male.
>The Clerkettes, Fathima, Denisha, Loo Jae, and Kelly represent a new and diverse set of stars for a changed age.
>One interaction in the trailer only served to reinforce how wonderful their new persepctives are.
>Kelly: Fathima you look sad, what's wrong?
>Fathima: My dad beat me for taking off my hijab in public.
>Denisha: What's a dad?
>slutty muslim girl in a hijab
I'm cumming to this
It must be nice to be an established filmmaker and be able to cobble together money and a crew to film whatever you decide to shit out onto a page no matter how bad it is.
>this is your child
>its black
>HAHAHAHAHA HOOOOOOO SHIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET
is this what they expected?
He's known Smith for like 25 years. Even has a caneo in Dogma
>he's brit nobility.
>tfw he was actually Baron of Sheffield all along
what makes something a reboot? isn't this just another movie?
Yes? What are you, stupid?
its not a reboot, its about a reboot.
you see its kind of like meta
god that bitch is ugly but god damn does she get nasty in those lesbian videos
what did Kev mean by this?
he's just baiting muslims so that he can make a new podcast called 'Fatwa on Fatman'
his last animated thing was so shit why the fuck did he hire that animator holy shit
She's been commenting on every pic smith puts up on instagram since they shot the film
he is barely a filmmaker, for fuck sake.
the guy tried to do a serious film with red state, had a fucking good ending and give up because would be 'too expensive'.
> cuts to david lynch who creates by himself the eraserhead baby and come up with places apart from space and time using as scenario red curtains, sofas and black and white floor with a dancing dwarf.
kevin smith exist, still, because he must have connections and has this little cult following of absolute retards that, just like him, didnt grow up.
who is that guy?
call kevin smith a hack as much as you want, compared to the other dogshit hollywood is creating this is kino.
lmao nobody is gonna watch this shit
Banana tits. A runny yolk. A sock with laundry change in it stapled to her chest. I give them titties four thumbs down.
Wow this looks shockingly bad.
Surprised he had the budget to hire so many guest stars.
Same. Elias was great and I’m still shook by how far they went with the donkey show.
The reboot is never better than the original
I know I won't enjoy it. I might only watch it if I have nothing else and it's all I can think of but I think it will make me start to dislike the original
its not a reboot u fucking tard its a direct sequel
At some point you have to let shit go. This just looks depressing.
Madness in the Method is going to be true Mewes Kino.
Wow this is embarrassing and will be even unfunnier than Cop Out
Clerks 2 had some great scenes but overall was just okay.
Could have been worse though
that looks fucking horrible
Only because it is
"compared to shit, this shit here is special because has a non digested piece of corn in it."
> STILL SHIT
At some point you have to let chuck go. This just looks feed & seed.
It's not though. It literally looks worse, is worse acted and is even unfunniert.
name a single comedy that you laughed at in the past 3 years.
she's only 20 yrs old and has grandma tits. how?
SAY MY NAME
Based brie larson in the back
>Everybody's here!
Randal isn't tho
>Raaaandaaaaallll
HAHAHAHAHA PENIS SHIT BALLS ASSHOLE MOTHERFUCKER PEEPEE POO-POO HAHAHAHAHA
the whole self referential breaking the fourth wall humor is done.
sit down and do a fun movie were people are around absurd stuff and reacting to it without the need to be remind the audience its a movie self aware of its own lack of ideas and desperation.
I don't even think if this movie came out in the 90s it would be considered funny
Of course not
It came out in 2002
even strike back was considered awful compared to clerks, this looks even more terrible
I think Clerks is the best comedy film along with Black Dinamite
>Dinamite
Go black to reddit
pleb filter
aaaaaaand reported haha
you fucking idiot, at least learn how to spell shit right before you call others plebs.
Q from impractical jokers
FUCK I DON'T WANNA GET OLD, GUYS. THEY ALL LOOK TERRIBLE.
His daughter is fucking hideous.
?
it's black dynamite you fucking retard.
m.youtube.com
yeah, i'm thinking he's back
ok?
damn yous, damn yous all the helll
Who is she?
This is fucking hot.
>OHHH AND ONLY THOOOSE AS SUPER SMART AS ME WILL BE LEFT ALIVE TO BITTERLY CRY
>DAAAMN YOOUS, DAMN YOOOUS ALL TO HELL
Time to rewatch.
adriana chechik
B-but it's an ironic rehash!!!!
Because Tarantino, Rodriguez and Smith are irl friends that hang out with each other.
He is also the neighbour of Johnny Depp, this is how he got him for 2 movies for free.
Ah, so that's why Saban of all companies is distributing it.
damn mews has done a lotta crack
she answered the call
wtf I can't decline the call?
It's not the wall any more when you are 45, that's just called getting old.
you stupid fucking idiot, that's literally what the wall is
All of thosw guest stars are his irl friends so they probably were on set for a day at most and smoked weed.
Legit looks bad.
I bear him no ill will but I hope Christopher Tolkien is blessed by death before he can see the forthcoming amazon atrocities
What the fuck did you think the wall was?
She reminds me of the goth dude from the Mighty Boosh.
porch monkey
>jason biggs
lol fucking based
jay's teeth are sad, man
all that meth and coke fucked him up good
can hardly look at him
this looks like absolute dogshit. but ill watch it for Q
She's kinda a fatty by nature but she starves so her tits deflated at light speed, pretty common
The friends we made along the way
> IT HAPPENED
Aaaaaaaaand it´s shit.
I will pay for this non diversity agenda over plot film.
That's pretty hilarious that there are actually people who thought this was in any way, shape, or form actually funny. Why would they give away Affleck, and Damon in the trailer?
that's not even him....is it?
it does look like meth face though. plus he has like 7 different kinds of herpes
This
At the same time?
>Movie about white guys
Droped.
Most of them are Jewish you antisemite alt right bastard.
Her name in the movie is Jihad
I feel like its mostly his nose, it feels really off and makes him look like a stunt double instead of the real mewes.
Plus he has that "no teeth" lip thing going on which completely warps his face.
>try and hold out thinking they wont make it without out you so you'll get more money
very based! heres hoping they say he died in movie and thats that
BASED
Why does Kevin Smith's daughter look like the monster from Mama
Bad facelift. He's stuck that way.
Jews. They frequent reddit to get their information.
Its amazing to think that there actually was a time when Kevin Smith was considered one of the most promising up-and-coming directors in Hollywood.
I'm still really excited for it, but jesus fucking christ did weed ruin Kevin's sense of humor. For that reason alone, I can't be too upset that he and Mosier stopped doing Smodcast for the most part.
Jay looks like Kellyanne Conway.
Is he wearing dentures?
I got Caitlyn Jenner vibes myself
jesus christ did silent bob get aids?
you're not alone. to think a guy who had so much influence on your teenage years has turned into such a virtue signaling cuck when faced with his own mortality. his wife must be a real bitch.
>who even thought this was a good idea?
Kevin Smith is cashing out as much as he can before he retires. Next will be another Clerks then we will never see him ever again.
he had a heart attack so he went vegan and lost 300 lbs in 5 days
Underrated post
*crack*
*sip*
those were the days
Man, Clerks is one of my favourite films ever. How the fuck did it all turn to this piece of garbage?
So?
I still want to see her milkers.
/ym genX er.
90's and early 2000's kino is back on the menu boys
seriously though why are we running it all back?
Hot sluts
this is one of the worst trailers I have seen in years. who signed off on this? who funded this? why?
It's amazing what you find great at 8 and at 22
Looks like total garbage
literally who
Fake teeth yea
Basically, he got vegetarian
>>Kelly: Fathima you look sad, what's wrong?
>>Fathima: My dad beat me for taking off my hijab in public.
>>Denisha: What's a dad?
I hope this dialogue makes it into the movie.
>'Fatwa on Fatman'
Always be setting up jokes!
Kevin Smith doing a lot of soiboi faces there.
Also Randall better be in this movie or I'm not going to see it.
Gonna need a quick rundown.
surprisingly looks not bad might be the first soeme what raunchy comedy in a long while.
There aren't many comedies made these days. Let's be thankful we're getting this one.
What? Raunchy comedies are the norm not the exception. You'd have a point if you said normal comedy.
looks like a spoof
I bet she's still hot as fuck
>Affleck's back
On coke.
This line of shilling doesn't work anymore, cuck, the only ones who didn't dodge the draft are complete morons. Draft dodgers got vindicated by history
Looks terrible.
But looks comfy. I'll probably watch it once it's streaming.
I think I'm starting to finally understand why some people will watch any Adam Sandler turd heap.
Ouch.
holy fuck Jay looks like a junkie
No, she looks 60.
You can just say '45'
It's not a space shuttle countdown
Why is this a real thing?
No she doesn't you underage retard
Draft dodgers who actually talked against the war were vindicated. Marion fucking went over to sweet talk the poor boys getting killed, because he felt his part was to play the propaganda piece for the war while sitting it out himself. No matter how much you fuckers try to suck their cocks they'll never be vindicated.