ITT: movie theater stories

>go to see movie
>movie ends
>walk out

I sneeded once on a feeded and breeded the cheeded of the deeded on the BRAAAPPTeeed

o-oh my....
kek
comfy

Based foot slut user, any will do by now, huh?

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got fucked and sucked in the back in the dark

Is this a janny hate thread?

>bypass concession stand because it’s over priced trash
nobody likes a cheapskate user

how long did it take for the guy to cum?

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-at a movietheater with my then gf, to watch something we were eagerly looking forward to.
-it's still the previews, we are getting comfortable
-a guy sits next to us, leaves a handbag and gets out of the room. nobody seems to notice
- I immediately get up, grab her hand, and leave, believing that the guy has left a bomb.
-turns out it wasn't a bomb. at home, she calls me paranoid

LMAO PUT ME IN THE >FAGDDIT SCREENCAP

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>A blowjob that takes over an hour and 30 minutes
God damn she is awful

>go the movies with my friends when we're 16
>3 cute girls come and sit in front of us, then turn around and start chatting to us because it's pretty obvious 1 of them had a crush on one of my friends
>we talk for a while and eventually the girl gives my friend her number before they go back to their row with the other friends they came with
>we all start hanging out together
>other girl even starts liking my other friend
>eventually find out they've been hanging out without me
>everyone gets their first girlfriend except me

>be me
>chad
>invite this Stacey from sorority I'm friends with to see new Transformers
>take fireball shots and shotgun 4 natural lights in the parking lot before the movie
>stumble into kinoplex room
>feel kinda sick so immediately sit down
>notice I accidentally sat like 4 seats down from some high neckbeard giggling about a taiwanese basket weaving movie image board
>whatever
>previews about to start
>tell stay to give me bj
>SHE DOES LMAOOOO
>forgot about that neckbeard guy he keeps staring over
>way too drunk to finish because of the pint of Jack daniels I brought in to the kinoplex
>get bj for hour and a half while watching robot cars fight each other
>neckbeard suddenly leaves

I banged Stacey after the movie

>Watching movie in cinema
>Character trips and falls down
>Yell "OOF THAT'S GOTTA HURT"
>Everyone starts chuckling
>Sex scene comes on
>"I'LL HAVE WHAT HE'S HAVING"
>Shout out "PURE KINO"
>Audience starts cheering
>People start chanting "based" and hear several guys say "kek"
>Walk out in the fire exit shadows because I don't care about people knowing who I am

kek

based

>watching movie alone
>character says cool/funny line
>laugh and whisper “based” to myself

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>go to the movies with one group of friends
>some dude yells out something funny during one of the trailers and the whole theatre laughs
>go to the same movie with a different group of friends
>I yell out the funny thing this time
>everyone thinks I'm hilarious
>still feel bad for being a fraud

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Cute

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Only date and kiss of my life was at the movies, I was 16

>2008
>15 yo with a "rocker girl", she liked Avril Lavigne and this kind of stuff
>watching Juno
>about 5-6 people in the theather
>I bought a big popcorn bucket
>she starts messing up and throwing popcorn at me and at the other people, though not hitting them
>like those stupid teen banters
>we end up kissing couple times
>by the end of the movie the popcorn is low and she's already full
>she starts picking popcorn with her feet and teasing me to eat
>I eat a couple of times of her feet

Never had any other good experience at the movies with any other girl after that. And I'm surprised I never developed a feet fetish.

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>be me
>go to designated kino zone to see Baahubali
>be careful not to step in poo on way to my seat
>sit next to the kino cow
>anushka shetty comes on screen
>yell out "show me bob and vagen"
>everybody shits
>before movie starts message says please be considerate when shitting in the aisle during film
>cannot follow plot because everyone is screaming, danincing and throwing confetti

youtu.be/GpvtxQmHudo

>be me
>Goes to see the new Spider-Kino at the kinoplex
>Grabs popcorn, Dr Pepper, and Sour patch candy and sits in the comfy recliner seat, in a good mood
>Anticipates the trailer for Jumanji: The Next Kino to play on the big screen
>It doesn't play at all, instead the trailers from Sony are for the boomer Hollywood movie from the biggest hack in the whole industry and the shitty Charlie's Angels reboot with the most annoying music I've heard in a trailer
Man, that sucked

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>be me, circa mid-2016
>be in theater full of liberals watching some anti-Trump shit (I forgot the movie)
>yell "Vote Trump" from back of the room during a point where was little noise
>immediately change seats to the next floor
>crowd flies into a rage and demands the theater manager throw me out
>they can't find me though
>sit back and enjoy their grumbling for the remainder of the film

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Cringe, never post here again

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based and, dare i say, redpilled

It was shit, saved you the rewatch.

Holy fuck, sure is reddit in here

Hmm and I don't have that many so I have to dig this out, but only because you asked nicely.

>take a girl to the movies on a first date
>she's a film major so try to see the kinds of movies she's into
>the only movies she's able to engage in conversation in are the Oscar winners from the past 3 years (Birdman, Spotlight, and whatever the movie with the gay blacks was called)
>doesn't know any of the movies I mention
>she texts me later to say we shouldn't do a second date

>any will do by now, huh?
It do be like that sometimes.

>Be me
>Cinematographic Complex shows whole Nolan Batman Trilogy
>Sit next to obviously mentally challengey man who smells weird.
>He is not as bad as I expected, only giggles a bit at the bank heist and the tangerine scene in TDK.
>Then The TDKR starts.
>See setup scene with field and then a plane
>Suddenly that guy stands up and erupts into laughter.
>Everyone tells him to get seated.
>He doesnt listen instead he repeats everything the characters say and giggles after that.
>When bane proclaims that he is "A big guy" he cannot contain himself and drops on the floor pissing himself laughing
>The whole theatre stared in silence when he gets escorted outside by security laughing
What the fuck...

Unironically got a boner from reading that wtf

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I kek'd

>Hear someone say based a few rows back
>Run towards him
>Whisper "And redpilled" in his ear
>Run back to my seat

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The best cinematic experience of my life was when I was stationed on the coast of Zanzibar in the 1980s. The locals set up what I can only describe as a makeshift theater using linen bedsheets spread using a pulley system across the crumbling, festively-painted side wall of an apartment building abandoned for the past ten years over rumors of a ghost. All the other houses, shanties really, were single storey, so the people sat on blankets spread on the rooftops while wooden planks afforded access to attractive young girls selling from green glass bottles held by ropes around their slender necks cigarettes and candy, and if the whispers were to be believed, love. A projector was set up atop the ward office, and a single speaker provided sound. I brought a girl with me, a fellow Anglo. Her blonde hair drew every eye, and she sat firmly in my lap with my arms wrapped around her as we lounged on a pile of cushions beside the projector, a place of honor. I remember the feeling of her breasts through her summer dress. The dandy Muhammed, a towering man in his bird's egg blue suit, patrolled the rooftops to keep things respectable. I watched as the elderly magistrate operated the machine, desperately scrambling to assemble feed reels with an antique splicer, his eyes always alert for cigarette burns. I would say that his antics were more fascinating than the movie, but the main feature that night was Cinema Paridiso, played from a pirated copy. Of course the audio was in the original Italian, which I speak, and the subtitles were in Swahili. My lover understood neither, so I whispered a running commentary in her ear. I do not remember if we watched the censored version or the uncensored version, but for some reason I could not describe the climax to her, as my throat had seized. She felt my tears, though, and understood. Later that night, as we made love in my apartment, I told her that I had decided to leave Zanzibar. Perhaps this was the worst.

>go to cinema
>decide it would be a good idea to put bags on the seats left and right of me so no one sits there
>cinema slowly fills up
>girl asks if I can move my bags
>say my friends are in the toilet
>she gives up
>sits in the isle with her friend
>40 minutes later she comes back to me with the worker
>says I lied and I'm hogging seats
>worker tells me I can't do that
>explain my friends came back and are just in the toilet because of the big sodas
>crowd around us starts telling her to get down and shut up
>worker turns to her and asks if she's sure they aren't just in the toilets
>she says she watched me and they never showed up
>worker doesn't want to be the judge, tells her he'll check the toilets and come back if no one's there
>girl sits back down on her ass like the chump she is
>worker never comes back
>movie ends
>lights come on
>girl stands up and walks over to me again
>stops when she sees my friends sitting on either side of me
>wink to her
>her friend asks what's wrong as she struts out of there
>watch the rest of the credits with my amigos to give the team that contributed to the production the proper respect they deserve

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She sounds like a faggot, user. You dodged a bullet.

Wow you really showed those women their place huh, pepebro? You could've just given up one of your "amigo's" seat and had sex with the girl later but noooo you want to be an incel

Why would you admit you're a faggot?

>be me, 15 years old
>have pregnancy fetish
>entire class goes to watch the movie Juno, paid for by our turbo-leftist teacher who wants to teach us the value of birth control
>class is sitting on the lower floor in a two story theater
>get hard on to pregnant Ellen Page
>pretend that I have to go to the bathroom and change seats to upstairs, which is practically desert
>unzip my pants
>start wanking
>spend the latter half of the movie wanking to pregnant Ellen Page's huge belly, fantasizing about her being trapped in an attic with me like Anne Frank, and there's nothing to do but fuck like rabbits all day
>blow my load just as she's giving birth while everyone else is grossed out
>spend the remaining ten minutes of the movie washing my hands off in the bathroom
>teacher is completely clueless and asks if there's something wrong with me since I was gone for like half the movie
>"uhhhh, you could say that"

My only regret is that I have never found proper pregnancy porn of Juno

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Based

Get off this wesbite little boy

>cigarettes and candy, and if the whispers were to be believed, love
This has to be pasta

>betraying your freunds for some roastie that doesn't even know about cinema sodas

Juno came out over 10 years ago
>little boy

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>giving up comfy cinema space
>for a roastie
>ever
Yeah I'm laughing at you

They would've betrayed you had you been in their position. You're a fucking moron

Holy shit

>not having molto bello tomodachis that you can trust
ay-ay-ay

>plan with my friends to see Borat in theaters
>we've been quoting the show for months because we're cringey teenagers
>I get to theater first and but my ticket, making sure to save seats for my buddies
>previews are starting
>text my buddy to see where everyone is
>"so and so forgot his ID and they wouldn't let us in, so we went back to my house to play video games"
>sunken cost fallacy takes over
>watch shitty movie alone instead of bailing and going to play vidya
>have horrible time

cant believe your teacher made you see it when you were only 2

After being bullied and taunted for keeping to myself for years Ive realized that humans are shitty hypocrites and every kind act they perform is self serving in the sense that they like to feel they are different and unique and a bright sunny light upon the dark desolate world. Truth is their shit doesnt stink any sweeter than anybody elses and every day I pray to the Gods for a fire that will envelop us all. I want to hear people die screaming as their flesh sloughs off theur worthless skins, I want to taste their blood as I hack off their fleshy bits and I want them praying for mercy and realizing they arent as invincible as the money in their banks, the cars in their garages or the whores in their beds make them feel. I curse the Gods for casting me down upon this miserable world and robbing me of the resolve to off myself so that I may exit this plane of existence and rejojn the void whence I came. But who am I besides a lonely bearded man that keeps to himself and doesnt speak for days at end? Maybe one day I will finally find it within me to buy a shotgun with whatever little coin I have left, pay a visit to all those that made my life hell and paint the walss with their brains after Im done raping their kids and wifes. But till then I seethe in silence.

>going to see Black Panther the sunday after premier
>assigned seating because went to faggot AMC nu-cinema that has the nice seats
>theather is full
>morbidly obese black woman on one side talking into an earset
>skinny ten-year old black child on other side
>assume they are mother/son
>smile at them and motion for them to sit together
>they ignore me
>sit down in between the middle of them
>movie starts
>black mother hangs up her phone
>they are both quiet and well behaved through the movie
>black boy asks me for a sour patch kid 2/3rds of the way through
>tell him to fuck off
>everyone clapped at the end and there were even a few "whoop whoop"s
7/10 desu it can be fun meeting strangers some times

based nigger tamer