Co-workers start talking about incel documentary

i came here to post this

Based
Cringe

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>kid in class you teach starts talking about videogames

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so close

>co-workers

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@118222209
0/10 bait

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>tfw office pleb

I want to die

...

>co workers start talking about simpsons jokes again

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>co-worker starts talking about him

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>co-workers start talking about fitness

>not being able to play along with normalfags as you hide your immense powerlevel

what are you some kind of rookie?

unfit co-worker starts talking about fitness

>visit mom
>get drunk
>start telling her about the jews
you'll slip up eventually user

>co-worker start talking about family drama

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>work

what you do is you play along and then when you go out drinking with normans you casually reveal your power level while they're drunk to entertain yourself and weird them the fuck out as they give you looks like they don't even know you and the next day they don't remember

>literally anyone starts talking to your work crush who sits right next you

>mum used to be pretty chill
>slowly open her eyes
>when she sees boat people on the news show always says "get a bazooka and blow them outta the fuckin water!"

KEK

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>Where did you read that, user?
>On some internet forum thing
>Oh, which one?
>Erm... *can't say Yea Forums out of embarrassment* .... erm... Reddit

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>caring what people think

what are my man, some kinda normie?

Youre weak i redpil my mum about the jews all the tine she wont listen tho she thinks im crazy also i redpilled all my ex gfs about the jews too

>manager is a roastie who is 40 years old
>everything in new job seems to be going well
>in a meeting alone with her a few months in
>she is hysterically angry, tells me I won't be kept on after my trial period because I'm too much of a quiet beta with no social skills

>wanting to confirm people's prejudice that you're an incel

me tbqh

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>boss literally tries to set you up with another employee when he finds out you're single

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>annoying lady (who once tried to get a guy on my team fired for saying that different breeds of dogs have different innate temperaments) starts ranting in the company-wide chat about trump during the 2016 election
>not a euphemism for anything, literally about how dogs like huskies need ice baths and pit bulls, despite making up 9% of the dog population etc etc
>hitotsu (1) guy says he’s happy with the election results
>haven’t seen him since
Don’t let that be you bros

thats nice

>lefty mom starts suggesting you date a "nice black girl"

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>boomer dad starts suggestiong you date one of the older ladies from your part-time job

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>co-workers talk
>get nervous and make excuses to get away
>feel lonely and regret it
>feel like it's too late to start again

if they even for a split second think that user, you might just be an incel

wtf dad

>force self to go to party
>show up
>walk over to different huddles of people
>can't inject myself because that'd be rude
>don't want to hang off and bother them silently either
>basically walk around the room a few times and excuse myself
>go home

>Fat woman starts talking about keto

/fit/ BTFO

>coworker who organises the secret santa each year doesn't even bother asking if you want to take part

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>the boss knows user couldn't get a root in a monkey whorehouse with a fist full of bananas

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>mom just sighs as she looks at you while talking on the phone...
I dont have a job i just wanted to fit in w you guys...

>Coworker leaving the office says bye to everyone as he leaves for the day.
>Passes by your office
>Doesn't say anything

Nothing wrong with a little jungle fever

>overweight but cute girl asks if I workout
>say I just jog mostly for fun
>says she could never do that
>explain I started late too and worked up to it, it's not that bad
>other guy interjects that cardio is shit for losing weight
>we hadn't even mentioned fat or weight
>try to laugh off "yeah well those gym memberships would cut into my coffee budget"
>dude gets fucking mad and says if I haven't got the self-discipline to stay awake without caffeine I don't have the discipline for gains
>he stands there for like 10 seconds
>turn back to girl
>he waits another few seconds before he leaves

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its okay user. we love you anyway, you big mistake

He was probably 11/10 mad that you got asked if you worked out and he didn't. Based on this story I'm also going to guess he's a manlet.

>tfw get out of the office for lunch and go to a hooker house nearby
>tfw licked her ass and axe wound
>tfw come back to work without showering with a strong smell of ass and pussy juice

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what a sperglord

90% chances he browses /fit/ and is posting the same story in some thread from another perspective

>give all your colleagues kisses on the cheek when you get back

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Your average /fit/izen

Ya a lot of people have that problem actually. Here's how I do it.
>Get to party
>Know only the host
>Grab a drink
>Go hand shake my bro in the group he is
>Sit on the side of the biggest group after
>Wait till I have something to say
>Start chatting and saying fun stuff (a drink helps a lot)
>Take part of whatever game gets played
>Get drunk
>Laugh
>Get home at 6am
>Regret life decision the next day

Theres a reason people drink and thats because it prevents you from being awkward. Or at least it prevents you from giving a fuck about it.

>paying a whore so you can give HER pleasure

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I do it mostly ironically

kek

Youre the party version of that boomer meme telling chicks "hi ladies looking good tonight" and move on

>tfw you work up the courage to slap your coworker's ass and she laughs at you

>>Erm... *can't say Yea Forums out of embarrassment* .... erm... Reddit
this is too fucking real

I honestly don't get what you are trying to say.

It's pretty weird when the silent autist suddenly just smacks your ass.
She laughed because she doesn't even see you as a sexual creature, just like it would be funny if a dog jumped on her and pawed her ass.

bruh

>don't have a work crush

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it's absolute pain and misery to have one

>coworkers are all attractive girls in their late teens to early 30s.

>shy autistic girl with athletic body, firm tits and ass, is always bending over
>super tall girl with long legs and nice butt
>supervisor looks like a young BDH with bigger tits and an even juicier ass

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yeah its never a good idea to shit where you eat

That's actually really nice of him, but he should have tried someone outside of work.

Tell HR you're being discriminated against.

How is this allowed?

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user his story sounded nothing like that at all. are you inbred?

>hey user what are you doing
>>reading
>what
>>the news
Just had this convo (conversation)

>be me OP
>start this meme thread about not revealing your power level to co-workers
>not even an hour later and i've actually accidentally revealed my power level to my co-workers including the girl I like
today's already a shit day

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>haha I'd probably be better off with one of their daughter's!

>temperature is 80 degrees at 10 am
>Realfeel is 98 degrees
>don't want to go to work, even if working inside

Sorry... You looked busy.

How did they respond?

he cute

wouldn't mind commiting suicide or never waking up.

remember then that coworkers will probably invite themselves to my funeral and my family would invite their friends and all will be exposed that I didn't have any friends or social life of my own

fills me with great dread and shame that I am now scared of dying

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>green text now.

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What power level did you reveal?

user goes around joining a random group uninvited for a minute and then walks to the next

I can guarantee you that everybody knows that already

greentext it

what anime is this

>sneed starts talking about feed

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Is he good looking?

>Female co-worker grabs my crotch

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Roid rage is one helluva drug

>other guy interjects that cardio is shit for losing weight

Well it's basically the same as cutting calories

>send ASCII emoticon to group chat forgetting that I'm not on Yea Forums
>she immediately calls me out saying i'm using "anime emojis"
> she starts calling me a hikikomori

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Never happened

But cardio has so many health benefits, if it could be packaged in a pill form it would be the #1 prescribed thing.
If you cut calories without exercise, the first thing that goes is muscle mass, not fat. Then you lose hair, then you lose fat and if you don’t start eating more again you start getting heart palpitations and shit.

I really fucking wish man

>hikikomori
"What's that?"

If she calls it anything more specific than a “funny picture made with letters” she’s revealing her powerlevel too though.

read his post again you memelord, he said hi to his work bro and then sat with them. where did he say that he went from group to group?

The only girls who I know who know what a hikikomori is are Japanese. They all love Disney, One Direction, and shopping.

Maybe she's into him and is trying to show interest.

based dad

Whatever you say autist

>female co-workers start talking about how flats make their feet stink

>female coworkers start talking about their periods
>say "I don't have those, should I be concerned?"
>they look at each other and laugh
>feel like an absolute chad
>"guys don't get periods sweetie"
>keep laughing
>wait
>they go off and start telling people I didn't know what a period was
>whole office is laughing at me
>explain I was joking
>"yeah sure user"
>forever the office virgin

>gets proven wrong
>w-whatever you say autist

what a weak and predictable reply user. quick, now call me a cuck and tell me i'm seething

Can your co workers tell that you're a virgin?

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she knows what a hikikomori is because of the last time I revealed my powerlevel i was talking about japan with a friend and she overheard the whole thing
also I'm pretty sure there's a Vice documentary about hikis
And maybe the earth is flat and all politicians are reptiles.

>not saying "glad i have a cock"

you done goofed

>yeah sure user
your coworkers call you user?

Should've said you identify as female and take it up with HR.

>having birthday drinks at work
>get tipsy from the champagne
>"hook your phone up to the speakers, user"
>not sober so say yes
>play black metal for a whole 3 minutes
> female coworker makes me change it (nicely)

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They’ve started calling each other incels as an insult

kek

Report her to HR (just to cover yourself) while you fuck her

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...

>on the day that aussie shot up the mosque
>coworkers only hear about it 3 hours later
>"omg can you believe what happened?"
>I've been following it by the minute on pol incl watching all the vids
>have to pretend to be shocked and try not to correct them on a few facts

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>sperging out over nothing
Have sex incel

Why is she paying attention to you so much that she'd remember such an obscure fact? Go for it man.

band?

>my date lied about his height
>now I don't have anything against short men, but...

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kys memelord

>Doesn't say anything

I get this at least 3 times a week from a fem co worker and it drives me insane

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>not "kawaii anime mix #6"

>6ft
>still think it's bs women complain even when the dude is taller than them
>they expect me to just agree that manlets are a problem

Seethe

Based tranny btfoing the whitoid you deserve the blackest of bvlls dont settle for less baby girl

Why can't people report others for harassing them by spamming HR reports?

Meshuggah

cringe

It's best to counter virtue signal them, especially if you're tall. Gotta stand up for midgebros.

get some taste man damn

>Mention that I used to watch Princess Diaries a lot as a kid because my sister loved it
>my nickname is "princess" now

Is this why people shoot up offices?

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all I've ever really said in the past that I think it's "interesting" that women think that way while I wouldn't care if the women was taller than me.

>opening weekend of the latest avengers movie
>walk into theater during previews and shout, "IRONMAN AND BLACK WIDOW DIES!"
>quickly walk out in the cover of darkness

Why are young men checking out of society all of a sudden?!

>co workers

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>Meshuggah
>Black metal
"No!"

What's even the point of HR if they only cater to women?

He's just like me

>work crush says goodbye to me when her shift ends

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Because if you're a man, no one takes your word that you were sexually harassed by a woman. If it were the other way around, you merely need to suggest that a male colleague looked at you the wrong way and he's gone. Pic somewhat related

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Laughing at the wagies itt

...

not really true in today's climate.
I got a girl fired because she slapped my ass in the morning.
She was gone before the end of the day.

Too unbelievable.

>Unironically thinking being jobless is woke

>unbelievable

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it helps that other people saw it I guess.
still, the world isn't really as hypocritical as you probably think it is.

Well, I'm self employed with a lot of free time to funpost, travel, sleep in and disposable income.

Pretty sure she only likes me as a friend, besides she's one of those people who remembers everything about everyone.

>6’5”
>told a girl who used to go on Yea Forums that I go on /fit/ and pretend to be a secretly insecure overcompensating manlet
>making posts in height threads like >I’m 5 feet 7.75 inches tall, nobody has ever even mentioned my height IRL it’s just Lanklets on here trying to make you feel insecure because they’re jealous how much quicker short guys can put on muscle
>she laughs so hard tears are roll down her face

GO!

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>co-worker makes eye contact
>they expect you to say something

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seems pretty based

I can't even conceive what it's like to have a job or constantly have to do things you don't. I went to the employment office 4 years ago for an hour where they told me all this stuff I'd have to do to get a job and literally just walked out and never again thought about it. I'd rather be dead than spend the finite amount of time on this planet slaving in misery

This, get them fired for being transphobic.

>that older man's name was Psy

>HR

You do realise that not every office has HR right? Stop watching so much tv NEET

>Writing this many paragraphs for something so incredibly minor

That cat fishing dude was low IQ.

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i've been a neet for so long that I've forgotten the outside world even goes on without me. I thought life just turned into a metaphysical memefest where sneed village is occupied by horny and lonely posters. the idea that people are going about their lives and jobs this very second boggles my mind

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>literally this happens
>now don't drink around other people anymore

>every cute girl at work is engaged
Seriously it's been 4/4 cute girls I worked with are all engaged

lol

there's 2 noodlewhores in the back, correct your filename immediately

Any girl you'd want to be with have already been taken for 5+ years. Every time.

>met cute cute girl at a place I was volunteering at
>was gonna ask her out but other shit got in the way of me going there for awhile
>still think about her months later even though she's probably forgot about me.

i love that
its comfy to listen to

Honorary whites. Due to inferior complex and being chased by yellow fever Kyles, they thought themselves as white

Wtf I just realized it was recent. Finally a good get and I missed it

>get drunk and smoke a joint with old high school friends at house
>in uber going to bar
>get weird compulsion
>look to friend next to me and say "you're all under my dominion now" with a smile
>put my finger to the back of uber driver's head
>"Now I want you to stay very calm. I have a gun pointed at the back of your head and if you don't follow my every command I will pull the trigger"
>friends start flipping out
>try to play it off as a joke
>uber driver shook as fuck
>everyone is really weirded out by me for the rest of the night

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Dubs and I Fuck a girl in the next seven days

>noodlewhores
Did this term start in the last week or something?

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I was hoping your story would end with
>and then the uber driver pulled out his gun and killed me

Today...just made it up

ok which one of you city slickers did it

How fucking gay are you?

What class do you teach, memetics 101 ot advanced memetics?

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She looked like...

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I saw it on /r9k/ this morning as well...

Based

Dubs and I get the girl of my dreams this summer.

i would have played along, user

wtf actually based

Congrats user you made it

Which /ss/ doujin is this from?

The problem is paying actual money to discuss fictional frogs and "meme magic"

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>If you cut calories without exercise, the first thing that goes is muscle mass, not fat. Then you lose hair, then you lose fat and if you don’t start eating more again you start getting heart palpitations and shit.
Good thing nobody told my body about the muscle or hair loss when I lost 40 pounds this year!

It’s 2019 user, if all your close normie friends and relatives aren’t at least somewhat redpilled about Jews you need to move away

Probably the same one as

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Based. Turnabout is fair play for roasties.

>if you don’t start eating more again you start getting heart palpitations and shit.

So that's why my heart gets all weird when I do speed I guess.

newfag

>Having coworkers
Another thing, this qt girl in med school has pepes all over her FB/IG. Wtf does that mean?

He got a couple more paragraphs for being a consultant. It's bad enough when someone at work is sarcastic, doesn't listen, and acts as if they're better than others. When it's a consultant, the impulse to just kick them right to the curb is much stronger.

Not saying that Lash chick isn't a problem either or that HR people don't difficult jobs where letters like those aren't a bitch to write because of byzantine language required by legal precedents.

The way to do it is to get a gf in middle school and keep her forever. If you didn't do this, it's over.

thats women for you

>"hey user, drunk sex is the best sex, right?"
uh sure

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>talk about the shooting and how crazy it is that it was livestreamed
>"Oh so you watched it?"
>"n-no"

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>It says here on your resume that you're an incel and you've never had sex? Care to explain user?

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Based mom

reminder that women have no place in the workplace

>N..n..no i definitely didnt edit the shooting to match the doom game soundtrack and posted it on gif

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Fug do this all the time.

>Well, you see, it all started with the Jews...

test

My strategy is showing up already semi wasted and then shamelessly latching onto the first decent sized group of people even though I know none of them. Often at the end of the night I've managed to make a few people like me so now I have a foot in the door to other social events, to which I also show up drunk and repeat that until I have a decent sized social circle and no longer need alcohol to lower inhibitions since you're around people you already know. It's worked every single time I've had to move to a different place, just gotta get invited to the first party. After you clear that first hurdle it's smooth sailing and you can rest easy knowing you've scored a slam dunk.

How do you get money for food?

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I do this too, I just say "reddit" everytime I talk about anything from Yea Forums

Absolutely based

you sound like you own several fedoras

not too big of a stretch lol

I feel like people only have kids so they can use the excuse, "Think of the children."

i’m honestly curious: what do you do to get by? are you on unemployment or disability? do you live with your parents?

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Test succeeded

>start spouting /fit/ memes even though i haven't been in a gym ever in my life

>this thread

have sex

user, this is what you are supposed to do. Think of the most heinous disgusting opinion that a normie could tolerate hearing and say you saw it on reddit. That's the oldfag way.

The worst part is he's a rick and morty tier goober but he does chemistry research. I settled for biology so I meet a lot of chicks who date upwards in the science field.

He knows your a virgin, and is pointing you towards ladies who fuck.

I love the bro tier boss trope

Your coworkers are shills?

>tfw my work crush is a big tiddie blonde who's job it is to say hi to everyone and I've confused her saying hi with actual interest because I'm that much of an autist

Help

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>Yeah I browse Yea Forums, what about it? I learn lots of stuff on there like some good kino (that's German for movie) to watch or I speak to all kinds of people from around the world. I've learned a lot during my time there, the anonimity gives people total freedom and they don't need to hide behind their internet persona and think about their imaginary internet points. This gives room for proper discussions where people have to rely on their arguments instead of just calling eachother names

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zoomers will never understand that back in the day workplace dating was standard, a whole generation of people were the product of workplace relationships.
How ironic that with the discouragement of office romance has come the increase in divorces.
It's almost like work dating is super reliable and pure or something.

>people have to rely on their arguments instead of just calling eachother names

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>improved
ftfy

nah, at least then you can delude yourself into thinking you have a chance. it's worse if she's dating a 6'5 chad model athlete or something

i saw the cutest customer at work yesterday; she was clearly into me but i couldn’t work up the nerve to ask if she wanted to hang out or something because i constantly worry about the potential fallout

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Yea Forums unironically made me a better debater in university because it has taught me to always think steps ahead in how an opponent would attack my arguments, how to identify fallacies and hold my own arguments to a high standard of scrutiny.
I won contests and the whole time while listening to my opponent I was basically greentexting everything they said in my head, then I just had to reformat it so I wasn't constantly saying "implying".
Yea Forums is good.

Imagine not being openly 1488 around your family

It got me kicked out of my house
No ragrets
I'm 5'7 And my stepdad hates me anyways

haha holy shit get a load of this retard

I was just thinking about a time I was helping a co worker with a captcha and I said I’m used to doing these all the time. He asked why and I said I browse Yea Forums everyday. He had no idea but his cute/nerdy assistant laughed. Realized I shouldn’t be telling my employees that I come here, but I also realized if any of them didn’t like it I can fucking fire them.

>jokingly blame jews for things around my mother
>state racial facts in a joking manner
>accidently redpill my unemployed 30 yr old brother in doing so
>brother talks about niggers at family gathering on 4th of july
Hes retarded

>back in the day
Back in the day there weren't women in the workplace, genius.

>be few years ago
>at work on Yea Forumsphoneposting
>black coworker askes about it
>tell him im on Yea Forums and about baneposting
>days later he tells me he checked it out but never really talked to me again
Only now realizing its probably due to all the pedoshit and racism that i just kind of filter out.

>Back in the day there weren't women in the workplace
sorry I was talking about 1940s, not fucking 1700s

>ASCII emote
>Anime emoji
Either you mean Kaoemoji, which is not ASCII, or she is retarded

ZOOM ZOOM

>Get to do training with QT at work
>Just me and her in a room alone going through paper work
>She smells gorgeous and her voice slowly starts sending me to sleep
>Can feel my raging erection pressing against pants
I really need to get laid.

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>He doesn't understand the Chadpost
No user, the retard is you

pretty much.
zoomers think they invented women's rights in 2014 or something.

Nothing wrong with that, Reddit is the new eBaumsworld.

I significantly prefer running outdoors than going to a gym, but that’s just me, I don’t get up into any of my friends that lift. Though my one friend who goes in /fit/ is fat as fuck which I find ironic but unsurprising.

...

i've never mentioned Yea Forums or let on that I go here in my entire life

full panic

>tfw no co-workers and can never related to anything here

My guess is 90% is made up anyways but I feel so lonely.

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based

That's Djent you retard

it's not really, but like all laws, they're too much trouble to enforce if you can actually convince someone you weren't let go because of something they lied about and can't prove, rather than why they really want you gone. you sign something when you apply that lets you know they have the right to terminate you for any reason, but for some reason will never be honest about why.

it's not a "meme" you tremendous newfag

same but im a manlet and didnt make anyone laugh

Based cops dubs

he cute

SUPER DRAGON

that's their tactic. he held a door open and misunderstood a woman (nobody understands any women, they don't even understand themselves) and for some reason he had to get reprimanded. if you just plainly said "don't do that" he'd win the argument because all he did was act exactly as said, a professional and helpful manner. they have to drown you with words, to be so relentless and boring and reiterate and repeat that you get tired and just accept it to get it over with.

>roastie coworkers start talking about pregnancy and disgusting vagoo shit
>just sit there doing my job ignoring the dumb whores
>suddenly one of them starts talking about some shit that came out of her vaajaja
>I lean to the side and make a loud sound as if I am about to vomit
>they get silent
>continue working like nothing happened
>roasties remain silent

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>be me, 25
>see qt in public
>tell friend she's cute
>"user she's like 16"
>this happens all the fucking time
>always feel THAT stare
>pretty sure everyone thinks i am a pedo now

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Women don’t remember shit unless they are interested going to have to concur, ask her to the movies

Better yet, ask her to watch anime. She's probably interested in that.

Oof. I always try to include "outsiders" into conversations if i see this happening.

What the fuck is going on in the pic

You ironically lick prostitutes asses?

I work a sales job and it is pretty much required to talk to people so good advice is to force yourself to follow baseball because it's easy to follow and all white normies like it

nice one

>roastie coworkers start talking about how they hate men, assume they're exaggerating for social currency
>one really old one (bordering 60, single) says how much she hates men, clearly isn't joking
>I try to jokingly escape the conversation
I don't think there was anyway I could have defended my gender in that situation without making my work life substantially more difficult

pretty much.
they're always like "what why" and I do it to trick them into thinking I like it.

BOYS RULE

Why the hell would you tell your friends? You know what you're doing. You know what you are. Just hoard the memory for yourself (or creepshot for later) and keep your idiot mouth shut. Check yourself before you wreck yourself with your own bullshit. Also don't say shit like that around people you can't trust. Learn, you fuck. Someone can very easily make an accusation and that shit can snowball if you're unaware. God damn.

>CUNNY

>asking before going in for a kiss
Women fucking hate this. I know because I did it when I was 16, girl told me it made me look like a pussy, never did it again. Why is this consent shit so dishonest?

they mean chads user, girls can detect how non-threatening you are and exclude you from what they consider as men.
If you raised your voice they probably would have comforted you and said how you're one of the good ones.

>tfw this is me at work
They always talk about how lucky a girl will be to have me. Fucking whores

That sucks, my moms a super liberal and loves me still despite the fact I openly admire uncle adi. Might be because I’m 6ft tho

Is Iran a real threat in your mind? And how does a Civil War you support harm us in any way?

GOddamn you Republican shills need to get gud. This isn't 2016, you aren't breaking new ground. This is some stale tired shilling.

I had a green text but I need to get ready. Basically worked with the gorgeous broad who complimented me and gave me “fuck me” eyes all the time at late night writing sessions over drinks. She turned out to be a hyper cunt though

Maybe, he cheated on my mom with teenagers though, which gave mom some form of stockholm syndrome and now because everyone in my house is a pussy he runs the place and isn't questioned. It is better that I was kicked out

curb stomp them

>25
>16
So what? You’re not allowed to be attracted to a sexually matured woman because of our gay puritanical views in sex. Get new friends. I wanted to vine my sisters friend when she was 14 and I was 19, I do t feel the least bit bad about it

>tfw workplace creepshot
>Co-worker with the fattest ass on the tiniest waist and a fit, athletic body comes over to me wearing essentially a body clinging red dress like that chick from The Mask
>She's a workplace confidante and tells me that some of the other women believe I'm recording them and to be careful to keep my phone out of sight
>I'm fucking stunned but hold my pokerface for half a second before trying to replicate shock and surprise
>End up mumbling "OK"
>She ghosts me
>Cover might be compromised
>She's the best dressed in the entire office and she fucking knows she has the sexual and social currency to tear any man from any relationship
>Review last creepshots
>I'm really fucking obvious, my phone is nearly tablet sized and it makes a loud beep I can't mute when it begins recording

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

>at anime con in Georgia
>see god tier Froppy cosplay
>comment to friend about what a cutie she is
>”bro she looks like she’s 16”
>”no way bro...”
And then I had the nerve to give a different friend of mine shit for hitting on this 15 year old later that same convention. Fucking hypocrite I am. I’ll just assume that the Froppy cosplayer was 18 and have happy faps

>coworkers start talking about sex
>become more quiet than I normally am
People definitely notice

>Be me, 20
>Start awful burger flipping job yesterday because I'm a failure
>See female coworker
>Think she's pretty cute
>Turns out shes fucking 13 years old

I swear to god bros she didn't look like a child

are you retarded?

me and my buddies have this joke of when we see hot girl which is unsure of age, we just say to eachother like ''we're gonna risk it all''

i find it quite humourous as if you could literally risk it all. Also mixed with grunting and weird sounds.
Some teenager here specially during summer have an insane BUNDA

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>have to help tall blonde qt searching some documents in the archives
>there is not much space in there and she tells me to get on her right side (I stand to her left)
>have to walk past her but there is no way past her without touching her
>ask her in a jokingly manner "is it more polite to squeeze past you facing you with my dick or with my ass?"
>she laughs it off and gets a bit closer to the shelf but not really much and I try to walk past her with my dick facing her
>penis very softly scrubs against her ass for a split second
>chickened out to try anything more and things only got more awkward
>6 years later I'm NEET again and still virgin

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i dont get that image
what is he doing

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Based feminists removing themselves from the genepool by raising their children to be undesirable pussies

Fucking based guy over here

Wow I'm in a similar situation but yours sounds more stressful

>she moved after you said that
she didn't want it user, you're lucky you didn't try anything your life would have been ruined.

I wish that would be me.

What the feed is going on in this pic

>she moved after you said that
but only a little bit and not enough to get past her ass which was blocking the path
but damn it felt good even if it only lasted for like 2 seconds

Like you wouldn't believe.

buddy she can't invert her ass, people are usually unaware of how far back their ass goes and will try to compensate by moving more.
If she moved forward after you made that joke, she didn't want it even if she still thought it was funny.

She's getting married next week, that ship has sailed

I hope you are right

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>she was 14
based

have sex.

look I know we often look back and regret not going for things.
I've had my share of girls slip through my fingers too.
But I'm telling you, you were bold enough to make that joke.
And that's fine, it's a fair play.
But unless she start fucking unbuttoning her shirt or turns to really look you in the eyes, that's where it had to stop.
You would have had your life ruined, they would have said you cornered a defenseless girl in the archival room and tried to fuck her.
You'd be done.
Don't play with that shit buddy, you got a soft rejection.

>feeling bad about fapping to a 16 year old
what is wrong with you

seething you didnt get as much ass basement dweller?

not possible anyway
I had my chance and I blew it and now I will forever remain a virgin

>She's a workplace confidante and tells me that some of the other women believe I'm recording them and to be careful to keep my phone out of sight
Your response should have been: bruh
Then say they must hate you for being a man and probably want you gone and say "what's next, rape accusations?"

I’M SO FUCKING LONELY AND HORNY BROS I JUST WANT TO TOUCH A GIRLS NAKED BODY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

snapchat. The blue arrow means you sent a text message. A clear blue arrow means they read it

don't worry about it gramps

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you are right, it was impossible to judge the outcome of that and it was the right thing not to try anything

>feeling bad about fapping to children
This is your brain on imageboards

my coworkers and i literally shared the video with each other. you guys need to start redpilling folks

sorry im not an amerimutt

But what if i do like it haha can you imagine

>Chat it up with work crush
>She always comes over to see me before and after and even during the shift
>Insanely cute 5'3" curly hair Dominican with incredible legs, two kids and super busy husband
>Shoot my shot and fuck up but she's coming around
>Other new guy tries to muscle in on territory
>Get needlessly aggressive and tell that bald faggot to fuck off
>Get fired later for stealing product where I'd later resell at a discount
>I completely neglected that inventory would be counted
>Also I kept drinking Gatorade near the computers and sitting down when you're not supposed to

I miss the gym.

>social media
fag

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My buddy unironically says the iCarly girls are hot. Truly redpilled.

My mom was always pretty hardcore, but my dad ended up calling me a nazi (although he knows all about the jewish banking system). We avoid talking politics now

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What is this greentext even supposed to be?
Anyways, you got fired for nigger behavior, nigger.

based whatposter

Did he go to USC by chance?

That's how I wanted to play it but she just talked over me and advised me to watch my back. I have that in my back pocket, though. This isn't my first creepshot accusation rodeo but her fucking dress stunned me because I was fumbling through my phone at that exact moment to get to the recording app. Getting caught with your dick out like that was a new experience. I won't act brand new in the future.

Just stop being a creep

I am really, really drunk right now. Courthouses are very boring.

absolutely based.

>Turns out shes fucking 13 years old

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typical nigger

>its intern season and work is filled with sexy college age girls wearing dresses and skirts and shit
>go to gym after work and its filled with thots in slutty spandex
>go to the market and all the cashiers are beautiful high school girls working there for the summer
There's no escape.

please.
im sorry friend. this next balls deep nut is for you

based and cringe

Can't stop won't stop. Wherever I am I must obtain a memory.

Basically. For some reason no one knew what I was doing for a long time. I wasn't even all that discreet about it. Turns out the gym halfway expects it to happen and they just ask you to repay them. I profited more than I expected and lied to them despite there being recorded footage and gave em a pittance of what I actually earned. Then they lost a class action lawsuits and ended up paying me money back so shit.