BROS HOW DO I GET A GF, GOD DAMNIT

I live far away from the nearest gym
I'm also balding

Yeah, I call it "anxiety".

>user K-Y-S-4-dash-three-dot-seven, let's begin. Ready?
Yes, sir.
>Recite your baseline.
And reddit newfaggotry began to spin... A board of posts crosslinked within posts crosslinked within posts crosslinked within one (you)... And meaningless memes against the blue, a short fat neckbeard cried.
>Posts.
Posts.
>Have you ever been out of the house? Posts.
Posts.
>Do they make you post? Posts.
Posts.
>When you're not shitposting, do they keep you in a little room? Posts.
Posts.
>Crosslinked.
Crosslinked.
>What's it like to hold the pillow of your waifu? Crosslinked.
Crosslinked.
>Did they teach you how to feel nothing and nothing? Crosslinked.
Crosslinked.
>Do you long for having your quints crosslinked? Crosslinked.
Crosslinked.
>Do you dream about being crosslinked?
Crosslinked.
>What's it like to hold your fapfu in your hands? Crosslinked.
Crosslinked.
>Do you feel that there's a cancer inside you that's trying? Crosslinked.
Crosslinked.
>Within posts crosslinked.
Within posts crosslinked.
>Why don't you say that three times: Within posts crosslinked.
Within posts crosslinked. Within posts crosslinked. Within posts crosslinked.
>We're done. Constant user, you can pick up your tendies.
Thank you, sir.

>stop watching porn
why
>smoke less weed
I don't do drugs
>stop eating garbage
I can't
>work out
I'm too lazy
>find a hobby
It's movies

with incels interlinked

Spend time around women, listen to them and talk to them. It's scary and gonna be cringe for a while, but if you're actually someone who can learn you're gonna pick up on what they like and dont like.

I work in an office.
I don't come around any women my age

>workout
>hobby
>stop eating
yeah but what about me not meeting anyone throughout the day but the cashier and 3 people at work walking through the hall, none of whom are my age or anywhere close

Lot of men date younger.

I am a virgin at 36 and I do not give a fuck if I die without ever having sex and I do not want a gf or a wife since I love being alone

Then you'll die alone. It's hard to love someone who won't love themselves. Finding a gf is a competition between men, if you can't even be bothered to take care of yourself then you might as well marry your right hand right now. Or become a monk.

>porn
skewers your sex-drive
>lazy
this is something you have to work on gradually and slowly. like try just tweaking little things in your day like making your bed as soon as you wake up (i started rhat way) and add exercise before breakfast later on (pushups, situps, crunches, whatever you can do at home)
>garbage food "I can't"
this just mean you prefer being a miserable pussy and feeling sorry for yourself. Real men find a way.
>hobby
movies are okay but find something productive about it, like writing reviews or essays, don't just sit around passively absorbing

There's no younger mate

>stop eating garbage
I can't
>you should

>work out
I'm too lazy
>you shouldn't

>find a hobby
It's movies
>that's not a hobby

sneed

you relinquish yourself to mediocrity thus you doom yourself to failure and loneliness. Literally nobody, male or female, wants a bump on a log.

holy fuck the cope. How can you expect someone to love you when you can't love yourself? Mentally and physically.

this is where the fitness/hobbies come to help you, buddy

Do you go to Uni? Do you work? Then you meet people every day. If you're an honest to god neet then your priority should be one of those I mentioned, or both if you live in a country where higher education is expensive. Nobody's gonna drop a gf at your doorstep. The end of labor is leisure, remember that. If you want anything of worth and you're not born into a wealthy family, then hard work is your only choice.

I don't even eat breakfast. I skip that so I can sleep longer before work

>have a shitty breakup with gf where she just ghosted me after our last date, not a word said, just vanished from my life
>now all my friends want to date me
fucking hell can't women see I'm dealing with the grief and uncertainty?

Step one: be yourself
Step two: realize you are gay or don't want a gf as much as you think you do

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improve yourself and a gf will come to you in time

stay away from all creepy weirdo cults like nofap and /fit/

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Just be yourself, bro.

Excuses.

You will never succeed with that mindset. Trust me, I know where all of that is coming from but you have to fight dude. Eat or be eaten.

AND THIS IS WHY I CAME HERE BECAUSE IM BEING VERY SAD AT THIS GIRL I GOT A CRUSH ON IS GOING SEEING HER BF TODAY

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Are you from a first world country? if yes:

1. fly to a south-east asian country (e.g. cambodia, laos etc.)
2. find a small village away from tourist hotspots
3. ask the village men to marry one of their daughters in exchange for a visa (even better if they pay you some cash to do this)
4. take your bride-to-be back home
5. marry them in a quick service unknown to anyone but yourselves
6. bang a few times
7. make sure that she's not knocked up
8. wait until her visa application gets accepted
9. separate and go your own ways
10. ???
11. profit

source: myself

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Be rich, or be confident and charismatic, or be very good looking.

Or just jerk off and watch the no gf feeling dissapear like I do.

jdimsa.
i finally got a date with someone on bumble. if it doesn't work out i am ending it. there's no place in this world for a balding manlet who's never had a gf.

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Stupid cumbrain. Men like you are so disgusting. You should die in a war or something.

Being a wispy, waifish, good for nothing has never gotten anyone laid. Set a goal and achieve it.

what do you guys listen to when you're lonely and..... just lonely, I've been listening to a bunch of post punk bands lately youtube.com/watch?v=k7QcjwTGB8E

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>Seeing ex-gf happy with new boyfriend
Is there any feeling worse bros? I want to kms

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*inhale*
GIVE ME MOOOOOORE
youtube.com/watch?v=EBAzlNJonO8

>Find amazing gf
>She suddenly goes into hospital and dies after a few months

Make sure you tell him/her you love her, you never know what the future holds

Asked a cute Jewish girl to come with me to watch Le Mepris on Saturday, wish me luck bros

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>Spend 3 years on uni in study group with girl
>Start growing friendship
>Start liking her (she even champions for BR2049)
>Try to hit on her while out drinking
>Other friend tells me she has a bf and I should lay off

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is it better to know love or to never know what love is?

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Same. We have to stop being obsessed user. It’s unhealthy.

>having a gf
FUCK YOU

youtube.com/watch?v=4yx9s31eoKQ
youtube.com/watch?v=W-Syk-7xoXM

>Other friend tells me she has a bf and I should lay off
she should be the one telling you this

Watch anime. Claim a waifu. Every day spend 15 minutes picturing you're waifu in your head. Eventually your mind will see her everywhere you go, it will be like having a gf only better

Unironically better to have never loved
It was my only gf and I haven't seen her in like a year but it still hurts. I'm pathetic.

They warned me before I went all in

Seeing your oneitis succeed in life and awaiting her first child. And knowing that had you acted differently in the past it could very well be your child she was carrying. Instead I'm stuck feelsposting with you guys while the years go on and on.

>getting chucked by some literal (((who))) other friend
Beta af.

We've been friends for a long time and I told her I have feelings for her last week we held hands and stuff so idk anymore

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Based. Every passing year i love more and more "loneliness"

>know exactly what I need to do to get a gf
>no motivation to do it since I was just as depressed when i was social and chatting up women as I am now
at this point i might have to cave and see a therapist

these threads always help me. I think knowing that I'm not alone in this mad world and other anons helping eachother out is very nice. It's just a nice feeling. I'm glad we're not robots and we share these moments together

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Yeah, I've been thinking maybe some pills would help me

Just keep watching trash flicks like Nolan movies, John Wick, Avengers and BR2049 I'm sure the women will flock to you

based sadbros. only threads on Yea Forums that are sincere and not full of shitposting

>give her chance after chance to tell me she loves me
>always changes subject
should've seen it coming hat this shit wouldn't last
and no I wasn't autistic about it

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it doesnt help me. you're not going to live my life and vice versa.

>Go outside
>Wait until a girl shows interest
>Approach
>If no one shows interest is because you are short or deformed

If short: Get limb lengthening surgery

If deformed: Get le fort 3 maxillary surgery or orbital box sugery (or both)

>Repeat

This is considering you are in shape and don't have severe acne, etc.

i was thinking more along lines of something like CBT. the only pills that ever helped me were benzos and that shit is too addictive.

I've lately taken anti-depressents I think I might have to get a higher dosage? but dont think they will just magical make your life better you still need to put in that motivation guys thats why I'm thinking of going to uni this year something for me to do and work towards I've also put myself up to do driving lessons with some guy because for a long time I've had a fear of driving but its something for me to do and hopefully I can do well in it

>Sit around outside like an autist
>Some lady comes to ask if you need help/calls the cop on you for ghosting

I already finished uni - it's too late for me

?????

like I said to make us feel we're not alone in these types of feelings is better then going to those groups irl and such

>Spend one year shitposting and drinking yourself to sleep
>She will spend the first year with the fruits of her love and hum him/her to sleep
>Spend another year shitposting and drinking yourself to sleep
>By which time she will teach her child to walk and go picnicking with her family
>While your parents will grow more and more dissapointed with each passing year
And on and on it will go. Unless you put a stop to it.

have friends

>hobby
how about reading?

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>both my ex gfs are now married

>having exes

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wow rude

I feel like anyone I talk to just genuinely don’t like me how the fuck do you make friends

i know this feel

based. same here

nerd

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>tfw have friends
>tfw always randomly get friends despite being antisocial but always somehow get myself dragged into somethingg
>tfw still never had gf or even been close

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>has 0 willpower
start smoking weed, desu

based cyborg, the feeling of being perpetually alone yet surrounded by people

It's not a good feel.

No matter what you are doomed to pain, no gf, ex-gf - all the same. Even having a gf will not fix sadness, trust me. I don't know what the answer is.

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if dubs i fuck your ass

does your social circle involve grils?
if yes, did you try hitting on any of them?

I haven't had any social interaction with a girl in years

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he probably did and just ended up as an orbiter because that is what happened to me

Brehs how do charm the qt at my work

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7

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nice

yes and yes/no
I've had one come on to me that I didn't have any romantic interest in
I've come on to one that turned out to already have a bf

shut the fuck up

be attractive

How do I convince my overweight gf to get in better shape so that I'm more sexually attracted to her and less tempted to fuck other women?