What were the odds these three were put in the same house?

bravery n shieet

Just 1/4 * 1/4. It doesn't matter which house the first is sorted into, because there's no wrong houses to start with.

>tfw most of us would be houseless
the hat hates kids with incel potential
houseless kids are even lower than house elves, that's why they aren't even mentioned in the books and why Voldemort doesn't even care if they live or die.

you're the reason all fiction has gone to shit in the last 2 decades

You can't be fucking houseless.

It's rigged so 100%

The trick is that the hat just puts you in the House you want, it doesnt actually care about your abilities/personality unless you're an indecisive faggot and need the hat to choose for you.

YOU can
So your idea to save the dullest franchise ever is to turn in into YA Novel Series No54856767?

Actually, Miss Potter (can't recall her name) said there are houseless kids every year. They have their own table.

>The trick is that the hat just puts you in the House you want
No it does not, Harry just said "Not Slytherin", in which the hat could have put him in any of the three other houses. You don't get to pick your house.

No she didn't.

She did. She said a lot of shit over the years. Most of it is canon-breaking. Something tells me she just likes to fuck with her fans.

Exactly.

Just like your japanese cartoons eh?

If you look at the statistics, all three of them were placed into the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though r-right
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

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this is why I hate verbal math problems...

Yeah and Harry is an indecisive faggot who didn't know what house to pick. In his defense he didn't really understand the house's beyond "slytherin bad lol" and it just so happened that Gryffindor was the best house for him.

Hermione is far more questionable because she likely had no desire to be in Gryffindor, she wasn't even really friends with Ron and Harry by that point.

hufflepuff is the fucking house of loyalty and ron betrayed harry three fucking times

Kek this actually sounds retarded enough for Rowling to tweet it.
Can anyone confirm this?

DEH!

yikes

So make a childrens book into a YA book? Guess that's a step up

it's not real

It's not as retarded as the shit on the floor thing she said.
I can't think of the HP franchise without chuckling to this day because of this.

>YA Novel Series No54856767
just like my favorite cw shows

>muh representation
*PUKE*

100% once Rowling figured out she was a hack and couldn't keep the houses as she wanted while having the 4 main kids interact, unless she changed their houses. Its incredibly obvious each main child was supposed to be in a separate house initially.

Harry - Brave, adventurous; Gryffindor
Ron - Loyal, values friendship; Hufflepuff
Hermione - Smart, studious; Ravenclaw
Malfoy - Cunning, ambitious; Slytherin

Iirc those four from different houses becoming friends actually was Rowling's original idea. She changed it because it was far easier to have them hang out in their common room as all Gryffindors

No. Post-2000 YA is shit. And the same book series every fucking time. Just set into a different "world". Same plot, same sideplots, same characters.

>you now understand why squibs have been historically hated by literally everyone

>shit on the floor thing
Kek
Agreed, you would think at some point her manager or whatever would tell her to stop fucking with her own creation.

>Also make malfoy a female

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Shit. Hanging out at Hagrid or in a secret place of their own would have been better.

He explicitly states "these three" which means Gryffindor.

You can choose your house, Hermione chose Gryffindor just like Harry. Gryffindor is the only house with a fucking sword.

No, because those three could also have all been put in Ravenclaw, or all in Hufflepuff, or all in Slytherin, and they would all still be in the "same house." If the question was "what were the odds these three were put in Gryffindor" then 1/64 would be the correct answer. As it is, the answer is 1/16

How often did Madam Pomfrey have to use "Fetus Deletus" because none of the kids were given any sex education?

Nah it's better having them all in based gryffindor, stop seething like a little kid who is mad at based Rowling, you'll never make anything even one millionth as liked as potter

You're a bunch of retards who are so naive you believed a college humor article

>because there's no wrong houses to start with.
Gryph are the best and can't do no wrong.
Slyth are racist elitist assholes and on the road to Eviltown.
Ravens are cold hearted teacher's pets and the only good one is crazy as a broom handle stuck in a slytherin ass.
Puffs are a joke. Or the coolest dead kids ever.

I know, It would've been better

Yeah it would be pretty cool if every house talks shit about the others while they form a magical Dead Poet's Society in the Shrieking Shack or something

Hey sweetie, Hermione chose Gryffindor the sorting hat takes your feelings into account
She was brave and had qualities of gryffindor and ravenclaw.

Your idea is fucking garbage and anime tier

Fuck it, just make it a harem animoo already

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It's real. Look it up.

Potter is the only good series with as many entries so no it wouldn't have been better.

Pretty sure the shit one was real, the Hufflepuff wank sessions were fake though.

what are the odds that he'll be locked up for raping his step sister?

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A rationalist, I see.

user I've looked it up years ago, it was a college humor article and a complete shitpost parody. You're a dipshit who is actually retarded.

It's not just a college humor article, it's a college humor article that was written AFTER we shitposted about the idea on here for ages. It's like people thinking JK tweeted about Fetus Deletus.

>pretty sure the shit one was real
It isn't it's fake and from the same exact source as the hufflepuff one, why do you keep saying the same BS

Her offical twitter account is a college humor article? Cool!

>muh twitter

It's from the offical Pottermore site.

So post a link to the tweet, then.

>stop seething like a little kid who is mad at based Rowling, you'll never make anything even one millionth as liked as potter

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About a year ago, she published on Pottermore one of her much-contested (but canon) explanatory essays. The subject of this essay was the Chamber of Secrets. During Harry’s time at Hogwarts, the entrance to the Chamber was inside a bathroom. In the essay, Rowling reveals that the entrance existed before the bathroom. When Hogwarts added modern plumbing, the entrance to the Chamber got hidden underneath. In a parenthetical aside no one asked for, Rowling explains:

“…(this was a rare instance of wizards copying Muggles, because hitherto they simply relieved themselves wherever they stood, and vanished the evidence)…”

But he's right and you're assblasted

Harry at his most based 3, 5, 7/8
Hermione at her most based 1, 2, 3, 6, 7
Malfoy at his most based 1, 2, 6
Ron at his most based 2, 3, 6, 7
Voldemort at his most based 2, 4, 5, 7
Hagrid at his most based 1, 2, 3, 4

This would be kino, other anons are retarded

>this would be keeeeno
No it wouldnt because felton was based as malfoy

S...S-Source?

Neville at his most based: IRL
CHADCHADCHADCHADCHAD

Based and checked

Agreed but qt female femdom malfoy wouldve been great

>muh femdom
Please stop my dude, for your own sake.

that's why fanfiction exist
in this day and age, there are ff writers better than published YA writers

Seconding. Need a sauce user. I beg of you.

Horndog

My ass

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Based and potterpastapilled.

Emma looks cool as fuck in this picture and her hand is huge

Imagine a scene in Order of the Phoenix where Malfoy seduces Harry and femdoms him wow that would be so funny lol

Hey Zach, why aren't you answering my pm's anymore? :^(

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so funny that my dick would cry nonstop

so funny you would squirt milk from your trousers's nose

Harry and Ron always had like 95% odds of being Gryffindors because their entire families have been

Anyone else here love StarKid and the Very Potter Musical trilogy?

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Where’s my boy Clifford

go away weeboo

Hermione says in the book before the sorting that she'd like to be a Gryffindor because Dumbledore was one but that she wouldn't mind Ravenclaw

Finally some actual fucking artistic integrity involving this studio product

If nobody ever talked shit about slytherin to Harry, he would've ended up there. But he protested when the hat suggested it and, and got switched to gryfs. It's such bullshit, "slytherin are evil" is a self-fulfilling prophecy

Harry would have 100% begged to be a Gryffindor if anyone had told him that both his parents and Hagrid were Gryffindors

Kys

Harry had the small problem of having Voldemort's soul stuck in his head.

psst, Harry, if you want to have a good life and get away from your shitty family join us Slytherins. We'll be your new family and nobody will find the bodies of your old one. Honest

Good job copying the text of some random reddit post or something, instead of linking the actual Pottermore entry.

see

Do I have to do all the work for you, asshole?
Here:
pottermore.com/writing-by-jk-rowling/chamber-of-secrets
>However, when Hogwarts’ plumbing became more elaborate in the eighteenth century (this was a rare instance of wizards copying Muggles, because hitherto they simply relieved themselves wherever they stood, and vanished the evidence), the entrance to the Chamber was threatened, being located on the site of a proposed bathroom.

Now fuck off.

Go see a shrink, autist

Is the one you got for raping your step sister available?

B-but how will he COPE???

See a shrink

Okay but is the one you got for raping your step sister available? s/he seems to be doing wonders for you

>They didn't used to have plumbing at Hogwarts, people would just relieve themselves where they stood and vanish the evidence!
>Students only start to learn vanishing spells in their fifth year
What did she mean by this?

>Do I have to do all the work
When you're trying to prove something that is how it works, yes. You could have saved yourself a lot of time by linking that as the first response to the initial post calling it a college humour article.

God Emma is so fucking hot.

why didn't they just rape hermione?

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Different curriculums take precedence in different centuries. Once upon a time all kids wrote in cursive, now they learn it late, if at all. They probably didn't even have to teach it in the days before toilets, because parents taught their kids how to do it in the home as soon as they stopped using diapers. This also had the effect of making sure all wizards wanted their kids to have wands from a young age, so they wouldn't have to vanish their shits for them. Once that was no longer a daily chore it suddenly became more convenient to wait until they're older before giving them the quite dangerous tool.

Why would I need to "prove" something that is true tough? It's that guy who can't google for shit and beleived it was a joke that is at fault here.

Weinstein already did although SHE VOLUNTEERED.
The deal was the following: one harvest, one role.
And Harvey didn't pop her cherry, but one of his buddies did.
Who is this guy suddenly so desperate to cut ties to Harvey? The guy in charge of producing the Harry Potter franchise, of course.
archive.fo/hB2ww

>why would I need to prove something true on fake news central
Gee, dunno.

Touché.

Weinstein had nothing to do with all her movies that made her rich and famous try again autist

Epstein wasn't in the movie.

reddit.com/r/books/comments/7gheas/collegehumor_made_parody_jk_rowling_tweetsthat/

idiot

You just can't go one thread without taking about shitty reddit memes huh

You're actually retarded.

His buddies were

you're confusing which user you're talking to here