A Hollywood studio will give you $100 million to make a movie. Any genre, but your leading man must be Dan Blizerian...

A comedy where Dan plays an inept and insecure Internet playboy who has to pay women to pose with him. He decides to become an actor but ends up having pay to be in the movie, with hilarious consequences.

Rich trust fund guy fills his life with prostitutes but never fills the gap left by his absent father.

Absolutely Based

He's a manlet

holy fuck
i swear on my mom's soul never heard of that movie before yet it sounds similar now that ive looked it up

>Height: 1.74 m

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can i rape you :3

Movie about a Butcher who chops bodies for the mob. It's nothing but a bunch of bullshit mobsters talking about random crap for 2 hours and doing mob shit, then it's over.

Snow White spin-off with the 7 Dwarves. Dan plays the dwarf king.

I definitely had a prison movie in mind. Probably the serious dramatic elements were unnecessary.

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The story of those Green Berets who were gunned down in Niger. Dan is one of them. Kepp the budget low, pocket the rest.

A rogue satellite starts shootings lasers at poor disenfranchised people of color. Dan plays a highly decorated Navy Seal who must obtain a gun to shoot down the satellite before it kills humanity’s future doctors, lawyers and engineers.

Siege of Malta starring Sean Connery as his last hurrah

is there any pic of him without that stupid beard?

a gay porno

I don’t think you really want to see that

this

remake of the simpsons S11E05

Just remake any Steven Seagal movie and replace Seagal with Dan.

Kino

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Found Footage movie of Dan walking down subway tunnels
Pocket everything else

I'm gonna need John Landis to direct it. There will be lots of stunts.

how empty of a shell is this guy? no soul. did he pay for shilling because of his big role as well?

i give lynch the money and let him do whatever the fuck he wants

based

The gambler.

Character study set in Las Vegas about a man who puts all his money into gambling and cheap women of the night. As the film goes on we realise that the character is deeply insecure and his lavish lifestyle, isn't as glamours as it appears.

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A playboy millionaire almost died in a jet ski accident and decides to do some good in this world. His actions revolve around helping a somewhat awkward young man learn his ways and get kid with 10/10 girls. The young man goes on to fuck many many girls but at the end settles down with the the love of his life, something he could only achieve after believing in himself, finally

>get kid
Get laid*

the man has a lot of instagram followers.

why not just make a travel movie/documentary following him around the world?
give myself the $80m, give Dan $10m, $10m on film permits in countries.

I'd make one of those dramatic movies about Hollywood that the Academy loves so much.

Dan stars as a man desperate but deluded to break into Hollywood. He is obsessed with image and glamour, and wants nothing more than to be a star. He does everything and anything to get into the industry, paying into small parts, getting nothing. Over time he begins to question his worth in secret, spiraling down looking for other human approval in exceedingly inappropriate places. Eventually he gets AIDS just before landing a breakthrough role, because his thirst for human approval led him to being a male fucktoy because it's a way to please people and get positive attention.

What is his name again?

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>manlet paying coalburners to hang around with him

pathetic

an action/comedy parody of action movies where a wannabe special forces guy goes from place to place, trying to get involved in armed conflicts to build his social media following. watch his wacky hijinks as he rushes into an active school shooting situation, attempts to sneak into the front lines of riot police during a chimpout, and flies to syria looking for ISIS goatfuckers to attack

Kingdom Hearts Man Shoes

bliz da 5'3"

i just film him impregnating my gf

do you think he reads ahead of the locations he visits and tries to teach these whores about the place and how passionately it interests him?
would give me some respect for him at least

dan stars as a man who has a quickly dwindling fortune that is being dumped to present a luxurious life on social media. he falls in love with one of the girls he pays to hang out with him and spends a weekend in the caribbean with her and thinks she feels the same. weekend ends and she leaves his ass and he realizes he spent the last bit of his money on hiring her. the end

Dan 'Chicken Legs' Blizerian?

My favourite part of every Bilzerian thread is when all the faggots come out of the woodwork to say, "Haha, manlet, haha, look how sad and empty his life is that he has to try to buy everything he wants in life like women and respect. What a loser." as they post from their tiny apartments they pay for with NEETbux eating Ramen noodles. "He may look happy on the outside but on the inside he's just a shallow and sad little man. Daddy's money can't buy happiness." Then they open a new Private Window and flip to xvideos to jerk off onto their own stomach and spend the rest of the night watching competitive Counterstrike matches.

Then my second favourite part is when these same neets try to defend themselves by retorting with "projection meme" so they can try to divert attention back away from their own pitiful subsistence and try to fire pot-shots at a man who is better than them by every conceivable measure, like a woman would do.

Based

>try to fire pot-shots at a man who is better than them by every conceivable measure
in height?

is he actually trimming his beard so that chin and lower cheek area appears to be bigger?
my god the insecurity on this guy

Imagine being such an astronomically shit parent that your daughter hangs out with Dan... Balzarian? Belzarian? Bilzarian?

Downfall of Númenor
Dan as Ar-Pharazôn.

I'm a married man with a family, house and golden retriever.

He's pathetic.

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what about a critique of his shallow ways that corrupt his soul and the soul of those that follow or admire him?

yeah but you know do whatever you can to make you look good (if youre a vain person)

where's the rest of him?

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Does that make you feel better about how he sleeps with 8 different new pussies a night and you've had 0 for the past 20 years?

unlike us, he's actually in a position to do whatever he wants. he's handsome, rich, and seems somewhat intelligent but the man doesnt have any passion projects or hobbies to engross himself in. he could easily follow his dreams and achieve something big. instead he spends his money like an immature 15 year old and surrounds himself with shallow instathots.

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at least he only sleeps with american women. theyre worthless and typically have sex with blacks

No he also banged Claire Abbott.

was that user actually Dan?

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remaking the Crow and Dan gets shot on the set

Crimson Chin

It's called a beard, nobody thinks his jaw is that big and there are many ways to cut facial hair, looks better than the unkempt isis beards

First thing first, it has to be about a dwarf.

Take some Ambien and go to bed, Dan.

Real Navy Seals

Dan leads a Seal Team into the Venezuela coast to assassinate a narco terrorist, but his squad is ambushed and only he survives. His situation is dire until he is befriended by a group of actual seals, who can all talk, and who help him escape.

Dan asks the seals thow he can reward them, and they say they just want someone to fix climate change. They show him how climate change is destroying their habitat and Dan is moved to tears. Dan asks the US Navy to hire the seals as an ultra covert squad but in the morning of his big presentation, the seals all come down with bad coughs due to polluted waters they live in. The Navy thinks Dan has lost it and put him on administrative leave Pending psychiatric evaluation.

Dan goes rogue and teams up with the seals to fight global warming. They do such a good job the Navy is forced to backtrack and make the Real Seal team an official Navy operation.

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James Bond.

Did that post make you feel better about the puss?

give this man all the resources. He will produce kino every time.

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Movie would be about a midget raised by feral pigs

Eventually he becomes their king and goes on to lead a great herd

Do your posts make you feel better about your empty life of following people online and wishing you were them?

Did that post make you feel better about the puss?

this followed by this

DOOM film where you can only occasionally see his angry eyes through his helmet so that he doesn’t have to bomb the film with shitty acting

Berserk, I cast him as Griffith.

He’s really a teacher at heart

R. Buds Dwyer biopic with practical effects.

A horror movie about a man who is being controlled by his beard. He faces the dilemma - should he shave his beard and become free but look like a retarded camel; or keep the beard and forever become controlled by it?

he is a manlett without a legs. plus he had like 10 strokes already. the only redeeming thing about him is that he banged that big titted thot from years ago. claire abbot or something

>Ctrl+f "snuff"

>0 results

I am extremely disappointed Yea Forums

biopic of dan blizerian
paint him as overcompensating and insecure broken human

Film about lgbt minorities. He'll play first trans in history. Guaranteed oscar.

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A recreation of Dan Bilzerian running away like a bitch during the Vegas shooting

>mfw seething incels jealous of my good looks and how I bang multiple women each day

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Gnomeo and Juliet 3. No need for CGI.

Snuff film where the manlet dies as a pile of money burns in the background.

>good looks
>literally needs a beard scultped to hide your onions jaw

sure thing pal

t. seething manlet incel

Underrated post.

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ugly basedboy/10

Convince Danny Devito to do it for 100KK$ and record it with your phone.

I'd watch it

>at a man who is better than them by every conceivable measure
im taller

A 6'6" skinny physics researcher develops a machine to transform his body into the ultimate machine, however, he neglects one basic fundamental law of physics: the law of conservation of mass. Once he undergoes his transformation, the machine must pull resources from other parts of his body to create his ideal body type. The catch: he's now 5'6" and an IQ of 85.

THIS SUMMER it's a wacky tale of a roided up genius turned dummy who just can't get his machine to put himself back in: THE DUMB PHYSICIST

The crudes live action. Next?

I am NEET master, my life is living hell, but damn, I don't envy that guy one bit, he's pathetic. He's not even a human being. His main concern is not enjoying life, it's telling people "look at me I do this or that". That's the definition of failure. You have what you want? Enjoy? NOOOOOO, show off. I am pretty sure real chads are not really impressed by him as well, unlike him they don't have to pay and enjoy every second of their blessed life.

he looks like a fucking bogdanoff in the first one

Hey Dan

Pretty much this. There's nothing special in drowning in pussies or sex. That's all only showing off. Only incels believe otherwise.

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>a man who is better than them by every conceivable measure
to be completely honest here: He is better in every conceivable measure to me, no question, but how he uses his wealth and good looks is extremely shallow in my eyes. Most movie stars or multi-millionaires could live his life, but don't. They rather marry and have children and there is a good psychological reason for that, I think. (of course there are exceptions)

If I would change places with him tomorrow, I would find myself a wife, have many kids, travel the world, do some good, build my own private library like Jefferson.

>YES ITS HIM
>literally not even the same eyecolor
retard

>There's nothing special in drowning in pussies or sex.
Unless you're getting none at all, which is you and most of the rest of this thread.

Keep dreaming, incel. One day you'll have sex. Maybe you'll have it once again. Then you'll realise there's nothing special about it and it's all about stupid jewish capitalism propaganda that hyping it everuwhere. But until then yeah, feel free to be pathetic

Back to the Future IV, featuring Doc Brown's kids. They're distinctly less enthusiastic about the whole "don't affect the past" thing, and don't take that seriously considering how their mother lived only due to their Dad's intervention.

Naturally this means they're constantly dicking around with future technology where they shouldn't, and start living on the run from the Time Police. Eventually the only place they have left to run is along the original rifts made by the first jumps made by the DeLorean.

Chaos ensues when they wind up a few months off-course and need to survive in the 1980's with said Time Cops breathing down their necks and nothing more advanced than a goddamn boom box.

Methinks the lady doth protest too much

he looks like gigachad irl in this photo
he cant keep getting away with it

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BASED