Midsommar

Imagine being poor Christian and getting drugged, raped, and forced to cum inside this hideous Swedish beast. What a scary movie.

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hot desu

Just a poor man's Wicker Man and dare I saw, Apostle.

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That is good, for believing what you do, we confer upon you a rare gift, these days - a martyr's death. You will not only have life eternal, but you will sit with the saints among the elect. Come. It is time to keep your appointment with the Wicker Man.

The movie wasn't scary. 3/10 desu

Why would you watch another jewish fairy tale about ebil white man?

Any streams?

I thought she was cute. Only a low test faggot wouldn't fuck her. The film wasn't scary but did have the cinema laughing. File under dark comedy.

Would you eat her public hair though?

>movie wasn't scary
>expecting a scary movie
>from A24
lol, have you not seen their other films?

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>movie is an allegory for white male privilege and oppression
yeah im thinking ill pass

I know people told me this wouldn't be Hereditary 2, but after having watched that in the middle of the night, lights off, and being unable to sleep the rest of that night and needing a light on for the next few, I expected something a little scarier/more disturbing. It was like The Shining in that it was interesting and had disturbing images but not something I'd call truly scary. I honestly blame the trailer more than anything because they really engineered the first trailer to make this seem a lot more like a typical horror film than it was.

Is that what you got out of it? It seemed like a revenge fantasy over a breakup and bad relationship. Director said he was having a bad breakup when he wrote this.

You guys are 100% off. The film is about a bad boyfriend. It has nothing to do with gender or race. In the end the main character is embraced and welcomed by a loving and caring family that is all white people. And this is seen as a good thing. The only real antagonist was her boyfriend, and only cause he was just sort of a shitty person. Not cause he was male or white, but because he's just a douche.

You could tell how inauthentic he was even in just trying to "comfort" her, almost patronizing. He straight up didn't care. Ari Aster said he was going through a breakup when he wrote this, and having seen it today I wonder what side of that breakup he was on.

Sure, she wouldn't need to hide it either. Wouldn't fancy a helping hand from her grandma much tho

Salute to Pelle for getting Christian and his shitty friends sacrificed so he can get with Dani.

God, Dani was so fucking sexy. Her body was magnificent, it had every right proportion of a goddess; but most notably, her ass was just so perfect, Every second that I had a glimpse of it, my dick overwhelmingly sprouted, I was sweating from my resistance of masterbating inside the theatre. I had a dream later that night, and I remember it so dearly...
snnnnniiiiiifffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnniiiffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....sssnnniiiifff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....
BBBBRRRRAAAAAAAPPPFFFFLLLLPPPPPFFFFFF
Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnniiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....
BBBBBRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFTTTTTTT
Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiffffffff….yes….

Arguably the funniest and darkest part was when the Swedish guy, can't remember his name, was recognized by somebody else as bringing them all there as "new blood" and Christian looks at him disparately from a wheelchair, unable to move or speak.

She had gorgeous tits.

i've only read the review on the ebert site

Saw Midsommar a last weekend and rewatched Hereditary last night. Made me realize how much better of a movie Hereditary was. Nothing wrong with Midsommar, it's spooky and creepy, but it doesn't hold a candle to Hereditary.

>that fucking scene where Peter wakes up and his batshit mom is hanging from the corner of the ceiling like a spooky spider

Nothing in Midsommar came close to that blood-curdling spook of certain Hereditary scenes. It was fun and had beautiful visuals and some good funny bits but Hereditary was on a whole nother level.

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i really wish i could believe you and 20 years ago it would have been true, but these days every male character in these situations is a stand-in for all men if its not stated otherwise by the director

Hereditary was definitely scarier. Nothing gets me more than a "home invasion" by demons tearing your family apart. It's all too real and gets into my mind more. Had it not been for the nudity Midsommar may not even be rated R.

I was wondering that too. So many dumb male assholes are watching this movie and siding with Christian because they don't even see what he did as wrong or shitty behavior.

I guess it's cool because it's less cliche but the fact that none of the Swedish women were even remotely attractive really made no sense when Dani was a 10/10 slam piece with emotional problems.

>Old people smashing their skulls after jumping off a cliff is PG-13
>A somehow living man strung up by his limbs with all his organs suspended in the air is PG-13
>A man graphically getting bludgeoned on the head with a large mallet by a disabled man wearing the skinned face of his friend is PG-13

Lmao what

>these days every male character in these situations is a stand-in for all men
And the reason that is the case this time is because a lot of men don't realize that this kind of behavior is shitty in a committed relationship.
If you can't be honest with your partner then you shouldn't be in a fucking relationship.

its pandering to american women

I just watched this movie and I loved it. I want to marry/worship Florence Pugh

I liked this movie except for the parts where the characters mysteriously turned into dumb horror movie characters and started doing dumb horror movie character shit because the plot required it.

It is but only because of the relationship plot.
The director just likes to have unconventional looking extras as shown in Hereditary

and women are never dishonest or emotionally abusive or manipulative ? it goes both ways. not to mention people were like this all the time. back then in a midsommer like film you could identify with the female character if you had similar experiences, regardless of gender. now its always some commentary on toxic masculinity or on men, like how every character is a symbolic representation of his/her race and gender, and if not then the critics will spin it that way anyways

>it wasn't scary
No movie is scary

Saw last weekend. I was told I'd be scared shitless, because hereditary was scary.

First half hour seemed promising. Then came the tension. Then some gore that I could've seen on an episode of the walking dead. Then more tension. Then the literally laughable rape scene. Followed by the end.

Disappointed. 5/10 for scenery, plot itself was decent enough. Not scary, just weird.

Only the old lady’s face smashing against the rock was that bad.

Was it ever established why Florence's boyfriend was such a dick? She seemed like a cool chick.

some people are just dicks, user

I don’t even think the movie was trying to be scary, it felt like a pretty deliberate dark comedy that was marketed as straight horror because Hereditary did pretty well.

poor guy. he looked so distraught having to fuck and cum inside that tight young virgin pussy. i'm mentally scarred.

Movie needed some serious editing. There is no reason for it to be two and a half hours.

I thought about this too, perhaps I'm just too desensitized. I actually watched this with my mom and she had to cover her eyes when these parts you mentioned happened.

>The director just likes to have unconventional looking extras as shown in Hereditary
You mean like the one with the completely fucked up face? I was expecting more out of that, she didn't even do or say anything. Her sitting in the corner during the mating scene got me a bit though, like was that supposed to imply she's too ugly to mate?

He was a prick, but it is also exhausting being with someone who is seeing a therapist, takes medication, and STILL falls apart at the slightest bad thing happening. Fuck you, Brenda.

They’re working on a three hour extended cut.

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>watched this with my mom
That must have been really awkward

Yeah, A24/whoever had to make the trailer make it look scary so people would go see it. Same thing happened with Annihilation and arguably The Witch. Horror is such a broad genre and full of so many different types of movies, I think dark comedy is a much better way to describe it than just horror.

It wasn't, but her leaning over to whisper something loudly into my ear got a little annoying lol

Lets All Love Christian

Where did people get the idea that horror movies have to SCARE you? They only criteria for material to be horror is the potential to HORRIFY, which this movie has in abundance.

She has Owen Wilson's nose.

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the movie was not meant to be scary.

Sneedsommar

>on her period

>impregnation

EXPLAIN THIS

This. It’s so easy to pick out NPC’s on Yea Forums now

What was the purpose of the crying infant noises in the dormitory for the first two nights?

>Midsommar Festival

>"May" Pole dancing

EXPLAIN THIS

It's an incest baby that has brain damage

...

>that fucked up nose
would not bang even if drugged and on viagra

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha go back

>swedish women are beautif-
another pol myth destroyed

>the slightest bad thing
>your entire family is dead because you’re psycho roastie sister murdered them and killed herself
>this is only slightly bad

Is this movie that disturbing or is it only by normie standards?

The point made in the movie is that if that exhausts you then you should break off the relationship immediately for the sake of both parties involved. Christian's reason for not ending it, "but what if I regret it later?", is naive and self-centered.

>women absolutely can't get pregnant if they have sex during their period

I bet you were wondering how she could possibly get pregnant since it was her first time, too.

The part just before her family dies, where she's speaking to a friend over the phone (as well as everything Christian's friends said regarding Dani), made it sound as though her getting upset and crying to Christian about it was a regular thing. For four fucking years.

Traumatic, yes. But as time passes, you seeing a family out to eat makes you break down because "muh experience", then youre making no real attempt to get past it.

>t. Had a sister OD and now mom cant hear sirens without breaking down even tho there were no sirens around any of the scene of sisters death

my mom keeps her phone ringer off all the time because she got bad news by phone 20 years ago and hearing a phone ring triggers her. She's retarded.

>women are never dishonest or emotionally abusive or manipulative
I mean my mom was but that seemed to be the plot behind Hereditary
I relate to both movies for both the abusive mom and the abusive boyfriend plots.

ok mark

White people are so fucking weird and soft

>expects actual triggers to be rational

An adult should be able to identify it as irrational, like a phobia, and work through it.

he said he was writing as dani

why do gingers have the best nipples?

Imagine being Arnold in that scene and having to be all like "damn, Jamie Curtis, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with your tight body and horrific androgynous monster face. I would totally have sex with you, both my character and the real me." when all he really wants to do is fuck another 16 year old in his dressing room. Like seriously imagine having to be Arnold and not only sit in that chair while Jamie Lee Curtis flaunts her disgusting body in front of you, the favorable lighting barely concealing her stretchmarks and leathery skin, and just sit there, take after take, hour after hour, while she perfected that dance. Not only having to tolerate her monstrous fucking visage but her haughty attitude as everyone on set tells her she's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, JAMIE LEE CURTIS LOOKS LIKE THAT?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch her mannish fucking gremlin face contort into types of grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been fucking nothing but a healthy diet of blondes and supermodels and later alleged rape victims for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies in Austria. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on her dimpled stomach as she sucks it in to writhe it suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to sit there and revel in her "statuesque (for that is what she calls herself)" beauty, the beauty she worked so hard for with personal trainers in the previous months. And then the director calls for another take, and you know you could kill every single person in this room before the studio security could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Arnold. You're not going to lose your future political career over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.

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I wouldn’t go so far as to imply it’s impossible for a woman to get pregnant while on her period. But I will say it’s a really stupid time to be trying for a baby.

The idea that the love potion thing is an old tradition and that it requires fresh period blood AND is used for the purpose of impregnation like the same day is just dumb. If you’re gonna drug rape somebody for the purposes of impregnation, do it closer to ovulation. These people are supposed to be intuned with nature, they should know better how the menstrual cycle works.

To reward you for making the correct choice of mate.

Rational, no. But as the first dude said, if after medication and therapy and time you STILL react irrationally, then i suspect nothing less than you like the "aw poor baby" attention of having a breakdown. If nuthing else, have the self contorl to dismiss yourself and get yourself together in private. Dont 1000 yard stare and suddenly speak like you just saw a murder because there was a Commercial on tv with a little blonde girl.

Please post images of this naked woman.

the period blood koolaid came a few days before the actual sex act and they probably have the scheduling worked out perfectly. She was likely approved to mate because her cycle, of all the girls in the commune, would coincide most perfectly with the timing of the festival.

you dummy the period blood was on day 2 of 9, the same day everything after the senior suicide takes place

It's about how selfish and psychotic crazy ie mentally ill girls are

and the sex happened toward the end of the festival

>everything after the jump takes place on the same day

I hope you aren't basing that assuption on how often it gets dark

Aster stated this outright. You see the second time they go to sleep (when Josh dies) and then everything after is one day. The festival is just begun and there are still sacrifices to be made.

This movie made me want to do shrooms

There's a whole day in between. The attestupa happens, then the next day is when Simon, Connie, Mark, and Josh are killed. The sex happens the day after that.

The most unbelievable part of this movie was anthropologists studying neopagan communities like all of their traditions weren't just made up by rich london LARPers in the 1880s

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imagine implying blood eagles were actually done and not just a latter day invention based on incorrectly literal translations of poetry.

>Then the literally laughable rape scene
That wasn't rape you dingus

apostle was quite comfy

>drugging someone and coercing them into sex isn't rape

based on the lack of social media outrage against the scene in question, you are actually probably right.

Because her sister is obviously psychotic right up until she fucking killed their parents.

I swear women are all borderline anorexic and diabetic.

>P... perfect skin.

What's the opposite of thriving? Yeah that.

did Pelle somehow orchestrate the deaths of Dani's family?

he bullied Dani's sister online by tweeting pictures of a frog wearing a rainbow wig drinking milk at her.

Imagine spelling Midsummer wrong so your movie could get some extra indie cred

Fuck off back to R3ddit you stupid niggerfaggot poltard.

It’s not “drugging someone” if you tell them they are drugs and they take them willingly.

>Festival Day 1: Attestupa

>Festival Day 2: Two indo-brits and will poulter die

>Festival Day 3: Christian eats the pube pie, May Pole, Blot sacrifice

Even if she was on the last day of her period the odds of semen being viable when she's ovulating are stupid low

considering all the #metoo stories that involved people becoming willingly intoxicated, you'd think that would fall under the #cancel meme heading, but nope...nobody is saying anything. So if twitter doesn't think it's rape, it must not be.

What the fuck did user mean by this?

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But what about all the other male characters in the film?

You sound like you've developed s victim complex, man. Try and snap out of it.

you obviously do not engage in NFP

>dude just ignore the social commentary
i wish i could do that actually

You can always say no to drugs.

Unless you don't know you're being drugged. Then that would be rape.
In this case, someone actually had a sit down with the guy to tell him what was going to happen and he consented to all of it.

Theres a huge difference in getting drunk and doing hard drugs.

it needs to (a) be literally the last day of her period, and for her to be sure of that (b) she needs to have a short cycle (c) his sperm needs to stay viable till the tail end of its post ejaculation life expectancy, and only then does it have a probability of impregnation approaching ovulation. These are supposed to be le naturalistic fertility ritual people and they gave him success odds approaching condom use.

Considering how many accidental and unwanted pregnancies there are out there.. just shut up. If a girl isn't a on birthcontrol she can get pregnant.

and all of them are "she's on her period, so it's impossible" -tier brainlets who then say "HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN WHEN WE PLANNED IT PERFECTLY!?"

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The other comment makes it seem like it's the worst time to try for a kid when there isn't really such a thing unless the woman has trouble having kids.

Considering some of these people were inbred, I doubt they have issues and if they do its probably stillborns.

Not to mention, I bet if she does the mating ritual and doesn't get pregnant, shes considered a failure and they sacrifice her or something.

They had a ton of kids running around watching Austin Powers. They don't have trouble having kids.

fuck didn't attach image

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How about a horror movie about a group of tourists in Israel whose infants have their foreskin harvested?

I was agreeing with what was stated in the screen shot

Fuck that. I want an ISIS horror movie. Or a cartel one.
Theres borderlands which was good but I wouldn't mind another.

that would be problematic in the current year

scandinavian phenotype (Louise from the movie on the right)

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Yeah haha can you imagine? lol, that be bad right?

did you actually read that? It says NFP still requires you to check for signs of fertility during the menstrual cycle. You can't just assume she's not fertile because it's during the cycle.

how about a horror movie about a group of european tourists who come to america and are forced to eat fast food and participate in hog-calling.

imagine poopy doo doo pee pee

lmao

I thought King of the Hill was a funny show. Nothing horrifying about it.

Deliverance already exists

there are tons of movies about europeans going to america and experiencing the horror of their local ancient traditions. They're called Westerns.

>-tier brainlets who then say "HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN WHEN WE PLANNED IT PERFECTLY!?"

>Considering how many accidental and unwanted pregnancies there are out there.. just shut up. If a girl isn't a on birthcontrol she can get pregnant.

point is literal illiterate curry women can check their semi-regularly and it gives the same statistical protection as the pill.

"But there's some chance" isn't a good retort here. A woman cannot reasonably expect to get pregnant from sex within 24 hours of her menstruating. It's unimportant but still incorrect writing, like the pagans dancing around a may pole during midsommar.

>"A maypole is a tall wooden pole erected as a part of various European folk festivals, around which a maypole dance often takes place. The festivals may occur on May Day (May 1) or Pentecost (Whitsun), although in some countries it is instead erected at Midsummer"

In sweden "maypoles" are literally called "midsommarstang".

post them