This ain't over Hansen

I aint gonna let them catch me, No
I aint gonna let them catch, the midnight rider

>TELL THE MOLESTOR, THE PREDATOR, THE CUNT WIDER
>SOONER OR LATER CHRIS WILL SIT YOU DOWN

Deserve's got nothin to do with it

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Well, you’ve heard about gunfighting good guys like Wild Bill Hickok and Wyatt Earp. But I’ll tell you a name that strikes even greater fear into the hearts of bad men everywhere.

Vinny the Kid.

I’ll never forget the day Vinny rode into our little town of Fairfield and walked into the Cunny Saloon. He strode up to the bar and smiled straight at the decoy.

“You're Jenna?”

He took off his coat. And then his hat. Every camera in the place turned to look.

He made an advance. But the decoy declined.

Now, standing near Vinny behind a curtain was the Coward Chris Hansen. Hansen was one of a band of rustlers and enforcers that had been saving our town from the likes of Vinny.

Vinny was wearing the usual outlaw scowl. Hansen emerged to him and smiled.

“Hey, Tex, how are ya?”

There was no bang and no bullet. Just a little bolt of light that hit Vinny right in the heart.

"How ya doin'?"

Hansen just stood there, his eyes wide with surprise. Then he dropped his gun, and a huge grin spread over his face. He urged Vinny to take a seat.

He did.

“I’m mighty glad to know you, Hansen! But I have nothin' to live for anyway. My life's a mess.”

When Hansen and his outlaw gang heard that Vinny the Kid had gone straight, he shuddered right down to his boots.

Vinny then broke down.

Most any outlaw would rather die than smile!

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And with that, he was arrested.

With all the commotion, only a few of us saw Vinny ride into the sunset. He spent some time in the Sheriff's jail. Can’t say where he went next. Can’t say what he’s doing now.

But I’ll bet he still aims for the heart.

Zing!

WET VAGINA
ALMOST HEAVEN

The cowboy went down to fairfield
He was lookin' for a girl to fuck
his balls were blue
knew exactly what to do
And he was willin' to try his luck
Then he came upon ol' Hanson
whose was out to block some cocks
ambrosio sat down
across the table with a frown
And said, "chris, let me tell you what
I guess you didn't know it
But I'm a big fuck up"
chris, without a care, said to sit over there, he couldn't pass the buck
"Now you talk a big game, boy
But give hansen his due
I'll bet a cunny so young
you son of a gun
that these transcripts came from you"
The boy said, "my name's Vinny
And it might be a sin
But I already regret
making this far a trek
'But I don't have any friends"

*spurs clanking off screen*

*tumbleweed drifts through suburb*

this guy is a complete mess. had cp on his phone, his texts were disgusting, and he brought a knife while going to meet up with an underage girl. he was up to no good and who knows what he would have done if Hansen and the cops werent there.

>Still no vocaroos
Yea Forums is not even trying

not met up with anyone?

BAH GOD, KING!
IT'S THE CUNDERTAKER!

Every cowboy needs a knife out on the range.

>he was up to no good

yeah, no shit.

HANSEN YOU YELLOW BELLIED SON OF A WHORE

Hand her over and put 'em up!

I fought the law and the law won

where the decoys wail and the wind blows free

DAMN YOU, HANSEN. YOU SNAKE IN THE GRASS SON OF A BITCH. THE SHERIFF WAS WAITING OUTSIDE THE ENTIRE TIME, NOW WASN'T HE?
I'LL HAVE YOUR HEAD, YOU LEAKY MOUTH TRAITOR. I TRUSTED YOU.

>You didn't see Hansen out there, did ya?
>Hansen? No
>Good, for a moment I thought we were in trouble

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Hasn't Vic been ridiculed enough? Give the poor guy a break.

most spergs have a weird thing for knives, that doesn't really prove anything

He’s a folk hero now. Someone who stood up to the man.

Oh, no. A knife! What are you, a bong?

He was gonna gut that fucking chick, root to stem. That's what it means.

>Every part of the buffalo was used to supply the needs of the Native Americans. Buffalo provided the people's main food - buffalo liver, brain and nose gristle were a treat, eaten raw. Dried buffalo meat, called pemmican, provided food to eat through the winter.

Don't think he would have

It’s a hard life out there on the prairie, pardner.

IT'S HIGH NOON, HANSEN!

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At a minimum he would have opened her up to blow bobbles with the blood.

>Every part of the cunny was used to supply the needs of the Native Pedophiles. Cunny provided the pedos’ main food - cunny liver, brain and nose gristle were a treat, eaten raw. Dried cunny meat, called pedocan, provided food to eat through the winter.

Give me kids, lots of kids
Give me plenty of kids
Don’t fence me in

Poor pedos, never saw it coming.

He should have brought a gun. He’d always be known as “the man who shot Chris Hansen.”

like that guy on game of thrones who also was a sex offender

What the fuck is your problem?

Leave him alone. At least it's content.

The fastest gun in the west

Come on, he's had enough.

>The Shootout at the Cunny Corral

The fattest gun in the west.

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The heart, Chris. Don't forget the heart. Aim for the heart, or you'll never stop me.

I don't know why, but that got me good.

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Hansen, I’d say the man with the gun pointed at him should be answerin’ the questions around here. What did ya think was gonna happen? That I’dda just lay down my hat and gun because you layed a cunny trap? Don’t work like that Hansen, you oughta know better.

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Hansen...I'm all in. Winner gets the cunny.

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We are quoting and paraphrasing western movies, you cotton-pickin’ varmint.

X GONNA GIVE IT TO YOU

there aint enough room in this town for the both of us hansen

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Put 'em up!

Vinny’s nickname for the cunny?
Rawhide!

TELL ME ABOUT JOHNNY. WHY DO HE WEAR THE BLACK

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Did you bring a teen for me?

Heh, looks like we're one short

You brought two too many.

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Well look at Hansen with his fancy Japanese cameras.