Only best characters in this thread, starting with based Floki

friendly reminder the last kingdom is a poor mans vikings and nothing will top Ragnar's kino story from start to finish

>oh, that sucks.

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What? Vikings is way cheesier than Last Kingdom and all of the characters act retarded. Like Floki here, acting all wacky for no reason. Did they really have spasmos like this back in 700s?

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People were rawdogging it all day long and old men just took young wives to shoot their defective sperm into. They probably had their fair share of autists that were "touched by the gods".

>acting all wacky for no reason
you do realize people were literal retards back then in comparison to people now days?

but no downs syndrome?

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comfy thread but why no blacks?

untrue. people had to use more problem solving skills back then.

>DUDE HE'S A GOOD CHARACTER BECAUSE HE IT'S CRAZY LMAO XDD

>British vikings in leather biker outfits
PASS!

they thought thor made thunder

based & insecurepilled

proof? shit written by monks don't count

If the baby had obvious physical defects like you see with a downy baby they'd be more likely to be left in the woods or maybe sacrificed or some shit. But it wouldn't be obvious that someone was a wacky autists until they were too old to dump in the woods. An autist kid who went nonverbal at a young age might have given rise to the changeling myths, but I'm not entirely too sure just how early those stories began in Scandinavia. They might all be post-Christian stories.

I'm on your side, but that's not a very good example. Ask random people on the street today and a good percentage probably won't be able to tell you what makes thunder, despite having learnt about it in school.

A better example would be the retarded ways they built homes or treated their fields, until someone with a design mind finally came along and invented the chimney.

historically they traded silver and slaves with arabs. vikings were literally just idiot arms dealers.

Come back when you have your facts straight.

>Ask random people on the street today and a good percentage probably won't be able to tell you what makes thunder
nani?

Nah, talking about stuff I half-remember from school and extrapolating on that is more fun than googling facts.

Not even physicist understand thunder.

he's right.

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Very well. I've heard enough.

i'm norwegian and their accents are spot on

they think trolls exchange their troll babys for humans in scandinavia. probably to comfort women whos kid died suddenly

clouds rubbing together making electricity and the electricity becomes lightning and the explosion of electricity is thunder

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no. it's to explain deformed or evil kids

We get it dude.

How come I rub my dick doesn't make electricity or explosion?????

too small

you just mad because i'm smarter than all norse people

if you rub hard enough it would

too big

Yeah, that's what I was talking about when mentioning changelings. But it wasn't to comfort people whose babies died, it was to explain kids who suddenly started acting strange.

But I'm still not sure if there's any historical evidence to vikings believing in it, since all the historical stuff I've read about it mentioned shit like babies being vulnerable until they were baptised.

This

>idiot
Why did you add that adjective in your sentence? How are they idiots like you say?

I already knew that.

people wheren't morons who believed in this shit but a grieving mother might find it comforting to hear that atleast her kid's alive. until the worts of the grief has subsided and she can admit her loss to herself.

He's just being mean.

changelings are fucked up kids, not dead ones.

Post dick let us check why yours doesn't.

>clouds rubbing together
Nope. Congrats, despite having the benefit of schooling, the ability to read and therefore acquire knowledge AND the ability to google for the knowledge at any time you still have a nonperfect understanding of lightning and thunder. The Norse had none of that, but they were still only slightly dumber than you in their belief that it was Thor kicking some giant ass.

>people wheren't morons who believed in this shit
Imagine being this fucking stupid.

>you're wrong but i won't say why you're wrong

ipso facto i am right

>only slightly dumber
That's a perspective, seeing most Norse men are handymen while all you faggots in this thread can't smite your own weapons and shits.

the enlightenment didn't invent forming opinions based on observations of the world, you know?

most were dweebs and incels like now

>smite your own weapons
>smite
>thinking most Norse men were smiths who could make their own weapons

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you aint smarter you were just taught that in school, if you were actually smart you would have figured that shit out by yourself
and another thing , most people here are anglo burgers wich means your ancestors worshipped the same pagan gods and thought thor made lighting from his hammer but you called him thunor

At least they have sex unlike you.

Most weren't weaponsmiths.

He was interesting until the cuck writer decided that he will worhip muslims and even before that, he killed applestand so fuck him.
Best character was Eckbert or Applestand.

>you aint smarter you were just taught that in school, if you were actually smart you would have figured that shit out by yourself

that doesn't make any sense

he's saying teachy isn't discoveree

>Bjårn

Floki was the worst character, not only in Vikings, but in any Viking related media.

if were taught something it doesn't make you smart
for example i could teach blank slate people into believing the most outrageous things, the smart ones figure out by themselves what is the truth while the dumb ones continue to believe my stories

Best character was Ragnar, he carried that shit.

>converts to Islam? His faith in the gods got stronger idiot you clearly never watched

Pete. I loathed him at first but by the end, he was top 3 status.

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they sound like norwegians talking english.

We've still got people TODAY believing in bullshit that's easily debunked. In Iceland you've got signs warning about fairies and it's not all some cheeky good fun. Yet you think the majority of people back in an age where there were no books or ways to look anything up, and all knowledge was passed along by fucking skalds, didn't believe in spooky creatures to explain why their son suddenly stopped acting like all babies that age and instead went mute, stopped looking people in the eyes, or started running around the farm making odd otherworldy choo choo noises? Enlightened atheists not believing in it existed in every era, but they weren't the fucking majority.

What stories do you tell?

>In Iceland you've got signs warning about fairies
baka

By the end, yeah. He was a bit too cheeky in the beginning and he had that chinese whore junkie phase so he was not consistently good.
Athlestan and Eckbert were captivating from start to finish.
Worst character? For me, it's Ivar, autistic raging cripple that everyone fears? Give me a break. I dropped the show after S4 but should have dropped it in the middle of the season when Ragnar went out.

>otherworldy choo choo noises
goldmine post

Maybe. I thought the swedish king sounded silly when he spoke english, we don't sound like that. But I suppose it would be too bothersome to teach the actors old norse.

Yes, they are idiots.

So, ju vant tu bi orl?

post signs

O..oh. We’re just talking about Vikings(?). I like the guy with the beard who smashes things real good.

people just pretended because everone was also pretending (still do). only asocial cunts go away from the social norm.

the stories of deep truths

>I loathed him at first
Confirmed normie pleb

he was a dane tho?

Keep it friendly
yaaaaaay

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You're being incredibly autistic right now, with how you're unable to grasp that someone might not act like you do(merely pretending), despite living in an entirely different world setting than you.

Monks were the only one writing things down

>But I suppose it would be too bothersome to teach the actors old norse.
Yeah, I'd say teaching some actors an extinct language would be pretty bothersome.

If he was a dane then it made sense they sound retarded

you can "believe" something to be true (living and acting like it does) without in your own thoughts believing it's true. infact all people do this in every part of the world and in every time.

apetcher.wordpress.com/2014/01/21/iceland-folklore-and-the-hidden-people/
theguardian.com/artanddesign/2015/mar/25/iceland-construction-respect-elves-or-else
Most people just think it's a fun thing or remain uncommitted to it there are nevertheless some who genuinely do believe(much like Scandinavia when it comes to Christianity, really).

the most resent troll sighting i've read about was in sweden 25 years ago. some farmer who had a troll protecting her horses in a fire. she saw it multiple times

don't abuse the autism label pls

lel this. they sound drunk hahhahhhhhah
got any other jokes?

post pics of the signs. i don't open links here

she's barmy

You wouldn't happen to have some kind of source of where you read it? I'm assuming what she reported was a hustomte and it merely translated into troll in English because the English language is fucking lazy.

>that troll who was spotted by Yea Forums in a dungeon
that was a good thread

It says poltergeist.

>calling something you can see a poltergeist

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it said troll. haven't read it in maybe 3 years but i can give it 5 minutes on google

go!

A french nobel price winner claims he saw a troll outside stockholm in 2008. It was 10-20 meters tall, had red hair and disappeared in the forest when the car stopped to check it out.
sydsvenskan.se/2008-10-09/jag-vantade-mig-inte-alls-det-har

t. rövblastad dansk

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I still wonder about that fucking thumb sometimes. I can easily believe that tilefucker and the dude who had the hots for Oregon or whatever state it was after getting molested by an old hippy while on lsd were just making shit up, and the dude taping shit to his right arm because he wanted to be John Silver from Treasure Planet isn't even outlandish enough to be believable. But that fucking thumb has me stumped.

>when the car stopped to check it out.
Did the car do a follow up?

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Cringe show really, it keeps contradicting itself and tries too hard to be game of thrones.

"It looked like a British officer from the colonies".
Sweet.

shut up

contradiction is part of life, bro-face

Help first
-Always

I agree, snafrid was cute but she was killed and with it all my interest in this cringe show.

Loki turning into a christian would be amusing.

>Mystikern Swedenborg tilltalar honom mycket. Väl uppe i förläggarens Antoine Gallimards slottsliknande privatvåning berättar han mer om sitt intresse för nordisk mystik.
– Jag har sett ett troll i Sverige!
– Jo, jag lovar! Det var ett riktigt troll! En och tio eller tjugo högt, med rött hår. Vi åkte med bil genom en skog utanför Stockholm. Vi var flera som såg trollet! När bilen väl hade backat och jag gick ur så var det naturligtvis borta.
baserad

It was Jean-Marie Le Clézio who suddenly looked like a phlegmatic British officer.

Somehow the weirdest thing is that it was just outside of Stockholm. Who the hell would expect to see a troll there?

Poor excuse for poor quality writting.

>En och tio eller tjugo högt
So it wasn't actually a giant 20 metres tall, but a small redheaded troll standing at 110-120 centimetres tall?

Damn my Swedish needs some updating. Darn Dualingo.

just found a bunch of bloggs and shiet

Snaefrid was cute cute

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Maybe the troll got lost
or it was Warwick Davis wearing a wig

Many saw it, so where are their testimonies?

>Who the hell would expect to see a troll there?
women and the infirm

>le funny random man xddd
fuck off retard

>poor quality writting.

it doesn't say if the reporter converts the mesurment from imperial to meter but no, it wasn't tall.

word brother

I've had it with your excuses.

>Who the hell would expect to see a troll there?
why not?

trolls shy away from cities.

Ah, I fucked up with the units. it was a small troll, which makes more sense

like i dont believe in trolls and elves etc
but go out at dusk to the moor or an old gravefield and you will feel like somethings near

>French guy and friends driving outside of Stockholm for the first time
>sees a local kid with red hair disappear into the woods at the side of the road and freaks out thinking they've seen something supernatural

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yeah, deer and raccoons and shit

there's mostly farmland and woods outside of stockholm. mostly farmlands of course but even that part of sweden is pretty sparsely inhabited

fuck now i wanna dress up as a folklore creature and fuck with tourists

Because only faggot metrosexuals live in Stockholm.
*spits out snus and immediately starts rolling a new prilla*

the city lights would scare away the trollkid

Isn't there a fair bit of forest outside stockholm? I remember going to Nyköping last year and i was surprised how much woods there were even after you leave Södertälje

You'd be shot in the US.

there's some suburbia and husmannsplasser.

Of course you will, evolution favoured everyone who were afraid of the dark and being alone, because the idiot apes who weren't got eaten when they fucked off from the protection of the pack into the dark and got eaten by a jaguar or some shit.

I'd sooner believe in trolls than ghosts, desu.

have anyone shot a bigfoot that turned out to be a dude in a ape suit

*nods*
*remains silent for 36 hours*

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they live underground. acording to myths there are entire kingdoms down there

>I'd sooner believe in trolls than ghosts
they're basically the same

No they mostly shoot humans in detroit and other hellscapes.

If the post-Christianisation stories are anything to go by then trolls can't take church bells or iron. So pretty much anything near Stockholm would be off limits because it's either got train tracks criss-crossing the land or it's within hearing of a church. The only place I'd think to find one is in the mountains, the few primeval forests left or the deeper ones that haven't been worked for a century.

they have schools and hospitals and shit?

Not if you dress like a leprechaun in the hood.

only in northern and middle sweden. In the south the trolls and giants went extinct after the arrival of christianity.

by being uneducated brutes

what the fuck would we need schools and hospitals for?

I mean trolls like the skogsrå, not the ghosty fairy fuckers that just pinch you when you're in a spooky place, make you lose your keys or other stupid shit ghosts are always said to do.

i get goosebumps thinking about trolls in a dark forest

to learn troll stuff and get troll medicine

ghost are "spöken" my friend
the word have the same origin as the swedish synonym "gast"

They don't need to learn, they kidnap humans to know all that shit for them.

gast is german, dude
jeez

Trolls know magic, I don't think they would need medicine.

are all trolls evil?

its swedish too
its like the languages are related somehow, could it be that they share a common root or perhaps the cultures of northwestern europe had contacts between on another
guess we'll never know

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no just different.

you're just being ironic.

Sometimes they kidnap people but other times they just want to be left alone. If you are walking in the forest alone and smell food it is said the trolls are feasting nearby under some boulder.

When I was like six I went along with my mom to pick up my sister who was at a friend's house, and the friend lived in the middle of the woods with a small dirt road leading to it. It was pitch black and as I looked into the woods I thought I saw a John Bauer type troll hunched over in the darkness, then a split second later the headlights lit the spot up and it was like the troll turned to stone before my eyes, just like I'd heard they did in sunlight. So I immediately formed the idea that they hid like that. 22 years later and I still remember it vividly, and back then I still had years ahead of me believing in every kind of ancient alien, black dog, ghost and goblin you could think of.

Sometimes I miss the wonder I saw the world with.

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some will eat you, some will kidnap your children and use them as slaves or eat them
some will kidnap you or your spouse for slavery or for eating
some will robb you from under a bridge
some will try to trick you out of your gold
basically the concept of trolls as we know them today comes from scandinavians first contacts with gypsies and jews hence the hatred for churches

they don't kidnap people out of malice.

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whats black dog?

john bauers ship was sunk in the baltic by trolls that got jelous and sad because he left sweden

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a grim
a ghostly dog that symbolizes death or protection of the buried dead

Not much, what's black with you?

he had a point though. "gast" is swedish aswell as german.

no retard it was sunk by the neck at the wishes of the trolls on the river vättern as they where angry he left tiveden for småland

anybody here seen ghosts?

But isn't irony just facile contrariness?

BASED GANNICUS, MY COCK RAGES ON!!!

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every time i get home i hear a raspy voice
"get out" to wich i respond nice to see you to honey

are you telling me john bauer couldn't swim? vättern isn't very big

lots of people died there bruh including bauer and his wife and child

>en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Bauer_(illustrator)#Death_on_Lake_Vättern
>when the steamer left Gränna it was loaded with iron stoves, plowshares, sewing machines and barrels of produce.
>loaded with iron stoves
Ain't no way we would be able to go anywhere near a ship filled with iron like that.

this

Fucking faggots they are not real vikings

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let's say the trolls stod at the beach and asked the sjörå to do it?

they're enemies

enemies can, and have, made exanges of favours. even humans do this

>The salvage operation turned into a bizarre public attraction; for example, a sewing machine from the steamer was smashed into pieces and sold for one crown each.
This kind of shit always fascinates me, people throughout history taking pieces of rope from a hanging, or chipping away pieces of rock from the Pyramids or a murderers house, or downright taking a piece of evidence to have as a souvenir. I just keep wondering what happened to those things as the years went by. Did they pass them down and tell their kids what they were, with tons of families out there having private stories about that piece of rock that great grandpa Joe took from Giza, like the lynching photographs you get in Southern families that nobody talks about? Or is there a family out there with a box up in the attic that has a random rock or piece of a smashed sewing machine that they have no fucking idea what the origins of are?

>mental abnormalities are a modern day invention
they may not have had the diagnoses for it but I guarantee schizos and autists were still pretty rampant

On thread topic: pic related

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Except that if they couldn't find a job or wife in their native land back then, they just got in a boat and took some concubines and conquered new land to farm.

>they just got in a boat
Boats were expensive as fuck because not everybody could build one good enough to go across the sea, and you wouldn't earn your place on a raid if you were an incel fuck nobody liked. You'd just be put on coal-making duty out in the woods or something.

>historically they traded silver and slaves with arabs
Most slaves (especially the christians) was traded in Ireland and Brittany (to other christians) who then sold them off to muslims (or "released" them as serfs). Why sail all the way to Andalusia when christian traders was right next door? Most danegeld was payed back to the christians as bribe so they wouldn't sperg out and go genocide mode as they did in Saxon Germany. Of course the christians didn't care where the gold came from.
>vikings were literally just idiot arms dealers
Scandinavians made shit iron compared to the christian world. Their main trade was amber, fish, fur, slaves and skills such as woodworking and mercenary soldiering.
Be less of a brainlet in the future thank you