Spider-Man? I don't understand... Spider-Man doesn't kill people

It's come to the point where a single word post is enough to get me laughing like a retard.
Fuck you all.

>Reminder that Jameson is being played by the same guy
From those really old Spider-Man movies?

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>Don't worry Aunt May, I heard they were Jewish.

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that can't be the real scene on the right

You joke, but I remember seeing Spiderman 2 in theaters when I was 6.
Doc Ock gave me fucking nightmares.

13%, Peter

Fucking this. Raimi posting is even better than Bane posting.

The porn peter you got to destroy them

Is he doing some sort of Alex Jones internet show? Is that the twist on the character this time?

>born in 1998

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>I TOLD YOU AUNT MAY THEYRE NOT PEOPLE THEYRE KIKES. DIRTY JEW KIKES.
i really don't get how this was made, even back then

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anyone got the porn meme video ?

Spider-Man you're my hero!

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>tell them Peter...t..tell them about the wooden doors...the gas chambers...

Fuck sake Raimi

Amazing how Jones lives rent-free in so many people's heads
How many characters have been based off of him by now?
Gotta be dozens

>But then again Peter... Your uncle Ben always DID say that they aren't people....

yes
>says nothing funny
>no enthusiasm
>doesn't look like the character
>doesn't even call Spider-Man a menace even though it's the point of the scene
>BIG PLOT POINT but relegated to post-credits

1997, but close enough.
Hadn't had my birthday yet.

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SPIDERMAN IS PUTTING WEB IN THE WATER TO TURN THE FRIGGIN SPIDERS RADIOACTIVE
HE WANTS TO TURN US ALL INTO SPIDERPEOPLE

Try playing recent Spider-Man game on PS4. JJJ there is pure Alex Jones comic relief tier and they made it an option to stop receiving his broadcasts if you can't listen to them anymore.

>rants about the lizardpeople
>is literally and objectively correct
What the fuck I love this timeline.

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But he was right in the the most of his broadcasts

The guy they got to VA him actually did a spot-on job as Simmons.
Yeah he was obviously Alex Jones, but he had the voice down pat.

He was the sanest man in the game.

I DON'T LIKE EM PUTTING CHEMICALS IN THE WATER THAT TURN THE FRIGGIN SPIDERS GAY

I'm not gonna "try" playing anything because I'm not an autistic manchild.

>Why would they build pools for the camps Peter, do your research!...BLARGH

>was right about Kingpin and mob war
>was right about the Raft
>predicated suicide bombing attack
>was right about Silver and her mercenaries
>stilll people think he's somehow bad for NY
I hate Snoy niggers

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If Goblin and Spidey wanted the same thing, why did they fought with each other?

It's the Bird Box scenario.
Old angry white guy properly shows caution and predicts bad outcomes, so he gets derided for it.
He's of course right in the end, but he's still portrayed negatively because of the TYPE of person he is.

i was born in 98 and i saw spiderman 1 in theaters and the green goblin made me shit my fucking pants. he looks so ridiculous now, too.

Reminds me of the radio host from Deus Ex Human Revolution.

I actually like the design they used quite a bit, but that's probably the rose tinted glasses being a little too tight.
People fellate the other version that was considered, but I'm not a huge fan of it.

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He just needs to go for a mayor sit, like in comics.

I remember watching a news report about they cut a scene where spiderman puts a web between the twin towers out of the movie.

>not realizing the devs were redpilled but had to hide there power level

youtube.com/watch?v=rMYqfz9_Nno
It was a trailer.

i think the one they used looks really good in low lighting and those close-up shots where you can see willem dafoe's mouth move are genuinely creepy. animatronics would've probably looked even goofier.

i like to think that this could've been used for an opening sequence.

>niggers and kikes aren't people Aunt May

jfc Raimi cmon

>i like to think that this could've been used for an opening sequence.
Could've been, except it opened up on Peter pre-powers.

>born in 98
>remember seeing spiderman 1 in theaters
As a 97fag, I saw the first two in theaters with my older brother, but even I struggle to remember seeing the first one. For some reason, I vividly remember seeing the first two Harry Potter movies though

>He was white, Peter
>All these years protesting the civil rights act, and one of my own gets me
>Was I wrong boy?
>Uncle Ben, he-he looked italian
>Oh Peter, thank you...
>[Uncle Ben dies smiling]
Powerful stuff.

>I cooked them Peter, cooked every last zip in a 50 mile radius. We burnt them to twigs and then scattered the bones in the LZ so every greenhorn with his head in the clouds had to cross the river styx into hell. I sure would love a suckjob from your aunt one last time.

i think raimi went too far in certain places

it’s real. it’s from the mid credits scene when spiderman is swinging around with MJ. they stop in front of a large screen and the JJJ show comes up. it shows an edited video of spiderman and mysterio and it makes it look like spiderman is a murderer and is potentially going to do some bad shit later. then it comes up with “PETER PARKER IS SPIDERMAN” along with peter’s pic.
there really isn’t much that implies this except for the fact that jonah’s show is an internet one, and that he has papers everywhere on his desk like jones does. what he actually says in the clip is just standard JJJ. i guess we’ll see in the next movie what they do with him

>Did you know months before 9/11, the World Trade Center’s lease was sold to Larry Silverstein. Silverstein took out an insurance plan that ‘fortuitously’ covered terrorism. After 9/11 Silverstein took the insurance company to court, claiming he should be paid double because there were 2 attacks. He won, and was awarded $4,550,000,000. These are the “””””””people””””””” you choose to protect Spider-Man!

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gobby in the first movie scared the shit out of me as a kid

i had the VHS tape of 1 at home and i wore the fucking thing out and somehow STILL forgot huge parts of the movie.

went to see 2 at the drive-in when i was 6 and it was the best thing i had ever seen at that point

>revealing spiderman's identity
Welp, good job ruining it Marvel.

Can any other late millennials/zoomers confirm the hospital scene in SM2 was pants-shittingly terrifying when it came out?

This scene is probably the best one from the first movie and I don't see people talking about it often anymore for some reason

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spiderman 1 goblin actually looks like a kind or ironman suit. maybe the design would’ve also worked in the MCU

it was. the complete lack of music didn't help.

only if you were a pussy
when I saw it I was just afraid my parents would make me stop watching it because of it (but they didn't)

>that asian bitch being dragged away as her nails dug into the floor
No thanks

P..Peter........aaahhhhhhhhh
*Groin area gets wet suddenly
*Uncle Ben bites his lips
*Dies

eh it’s happened in the comics before and this is the third theatrical iteration of the character. if they utilise the potential change or the status quoa, it could be good

It's certainly much more militarized, which makes sense given his origin.

>N-No Uncle Ben. It was a sandnigger that did it.

I somehow got by it fine but this scared the shit out of me

>Gives Peter a picture of Sylvester Stallone with a lipstick kiss on it.

Dafoe doesn't get enough credit for the role.
I would dare to say SM1 had damn near perfect casting.

Michael Rooker’s character in Brightburn post credits

I fucking forgot about that, but you're exactly right.

Spider-Man gets doxxed.

What would /pol/ do with spiderman's dox after finding out he dates a nigger?

just post BLACKED webms

>There's not much time, the bullet pierced my heart like that big lipped jungle monkey Obongo winning the election did...

It's too perfect a scene to meme on

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so i guess the osborn tower leak was fake

I've always wanted to make a custom srt file with 100% raimi dialogue, but it would take too much time.

DAE LE SAM RAIMI SPOODERMAN FILMS WERE ACTUALLY SUPAR RACIST LMAOOO!!! NIGGURZ LOL!!! HAHAHHAHHAHAHAHA JEWS HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHA GET IT BECAUSE THE ACTUAL MOVIES WERE PROBLEMATIC AS SHIT BUT WE HAVE TO STICK IT TO LE ESS-JAY-DUBYAS LMAO IM SO EDGY!!!!!!!!
>SCENE FROM SPOODERMAN 2
>JJJ: What do we call this FAGGOT?
>Hoffman: Dr. NIGGER!!!!!
HHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHA RACISM AND OPPRESSION OF POCS IS SO FUNNEEEEEEE

yes it is

The truth is usually pretty funny.

>THE ACTUAL MOVIES WERE PROBLEMATIC AS SHIT
Oh no, he called a guy a faggot.

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It's hilarious

>JJJ: What do we call this FAGGOT?
>Hoffman: Dr. NIGGER!!!!!

Fund it

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how did this even start. was it literally just the gay joke in the wrestling scene and "it was a different time"

You're a nigger, Harry.

kys yslf my man

>JJJ is 20 years older than Alex Jones
>running conspiracy podcast online
At least Jones transferred from being a radio host to the internet
I'm supposed to buy an old newpaper editor started up an internet show and gets his shit played in Times Square?

yes

Sounds like a brilliant project.

>a word to the not so wise about your little fever. Taste how sweet the berry is and then ship them back to Africa

Was this line necessary?

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Please, user. I’ll stream it if you do.

>THE ACTUAL MOVIES WERE PROBLEMATIC AS SHIT
How so?
Dante Must Die Mode: Don't mention the single "DID YOUR BOYFRIEND MAKE IT FOR YOU?" line.

>what happened to your hand peter?
>nigger tried to mug me, knocked me down.
I mean, I know it's representative of real life, but that's not dinner table talk!

gonna cry?

Why don't we make a thread for it?
Everyone can contribute however many custom lines as they want and the OP can put them all together.
You'd have to post a timestamp of when the line occurred though, or what the original was.

little goblin junior

Holy fucking soi

Have sex

>Parker you're late man always late!
>I'm sorry Mr. Aziz there was a.....disturbance (a synagogue burns as firefighters attempt to open the webbed shut doors in the background)
>21 minutes ago in comes order Muhammad lane 8 extra large deep dish cheese pizzas, they're having some kind of party at the mosque there
>Party? (Peter glances at the calendar seeing it's September 11th)
>You have to go 9 blocks in 11 minutes or I lose the customer forever and your ass is fired Peter
>I'll make sure they "never forget" our delivery promise Mr. Aziz (Peter rushes off to the local pork butcher)
Raimi truly is a master of foreshadowing.

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(you)

that's odd, i remember him saying 10 blocks

This was always the best one.

Dubs decide. It will probably take a few tries, but if you’re motivated, go for it user. I’ll be lurking. We need to upstage that totalitarianism in a tundra.

>cut from Spiderman 2: The Video Game

They had no right to sandbag Raimi like that

>problematic
first worlders are truly pathetic

>he says as he watches moving pictures

>SCENE FROM SPOODERMAN 2
>JJJ: What do we call this FAGGOT?
>Hoffman: Dr. NIGGER!!!!!
OH SHIT you got a leak?

>SCENE FROM SPOODERMAN 2
>JJJ: What do we call this FAGGOT?
>Hoffman: Dr. NIGGER!!!!!
Unironically funny raimipost

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Those are some ARYAN kids.

>can see the camera and mic in the reflection on his metal mask
LITERALLY LOOK AT THE TOP OF HIS HEAD

that could literally be anything dcuck

>it was chucks... fuck and suck!

>camera reflection
>cgi

yikes my dude

they want to pander to the people who autistically scan movies for mistakes so they cgi them in now

>Peter....

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Cope marvelshitters

>Be careful around my daughter, Peter.
>I tried to raise her right and keep her away from the bad stuff, but you know niggers.
>If you don't keep an eye on her, I'll kill ya.

They copied him through all of the last X Files season

>As you can see, Peter, yes. I have betrayed our people. But you don't understand. You don't understand the heaven that is going up to your pelvis in dark meat. They really are like animals, just like my father always told me. "No son of mine would be caught dead courting a nigress." But once you've had a taste, Sally from Sunday school who was saving herself for our marriage just doesn't cut it anymore. I was 25 when I had my first rumble in the jungle. And you know what I did, Peter? For 15 years I prowled street corners sweeping up every black mama I could find. Big ones, fat ones, short ones, tall ones. Fatherless half-breeds litter the streets of New York. They still tell stories about me in Harlem, hoots from old ladies about Adrian "Massa" Toomes and his bag of whips. What I'm saying, Pete, is if you're gonna do this, you better go all the way. Show my daughter why we've been running the world for thousands of years.

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I'm convinced this is the case by this point. So many franchises show someone in a negative light for not being a woman or woke or something, only for them to be proven right. This is of course not acknowledged, but nevertheless they are right. Think back to TLJ where purple hair and Leia fuck up so massively it leads to the deaths of 90% of the resistance, yet they are the ones portrayed heroically

At this point, I'm just glad we got one last interpretation of spiderman where MJ was actually a qt redhead instead of el monstro.

OY VEY! DELET IT NAO!

Good ol' Lucky Larry.
I'll never forget when I asked him for advise on whether or not my house needed a new roof.
He said, "Pull it."

>This Sunday...the postman is going to deliver a package to the house. Don't let your Aunt see it. Dispose of it immediately. It's a realistic latex sex doll in the shape of a 5 year old child. A child, Peter. Yes, I couldn't resist the cunny. I craved and I coveted and I yearned. That wave of unsolved child abductions 10 years ago here in New York? That was me, Pete. Your uncle Ben. But I've changed my ways. I've changed, and you can too. Recently, I felt that evil fire rekindle deep inside me. I feared of relapsing so I ordered the doll to quench those urges without hurting another soul. They are made in the Philippines by master craftsmen and modeled after real kids. The shipping alone is over 2,000 dollars, Pete. I emptied your college fund for that doll, Peter. Forgive me, Pet-

>I emptied your college fund for that doll
I love it

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>Peter was right. I miscalculated. There's no way the ovens at Auschwitz would have been able to burn enough bodies to account for the supposed death figures.

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>Big ones, fat ones, short ones, tall ones
is that a fucking Brains reference

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>you have to go 9 blocks in 11 minutes

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most of the ovens were stolen by pillaging soldiers

Hol up.

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>Something... in my head... something talking...
>The redpill chip... gone.

Reminder that has not wrong.

seething zoomer

>pillaging soldiers taking fucking brick or cement ovens
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Lets just pretend they could actually break them up out of the foundation and transport them. Maybe it was a team effort. Or maybe they were breaking them down for the materials.

Why would they? For cheap as dirt materials. For something easily fabricated in their own land. For something ridiculously unwieldy and unprofitable. For something that could not have compared in value to other things worth pillaging? What in the fuck.

>Well, what else could we do? He was hopeless. I'm no bully; I never hurt a nigger in my life. I like niggers—in their place—I know how to work 'em. But I just decided it was time a few people got put on notice. As long as I live and can do anything about it, niggers are gonna stay in their place. Niggers ain't gonna vote where I live. If they did, they'd control the government. They ain't gonna go to school with my kids. And when a nigger gets close to mentioning sex with a white woman, he's tired o' livin'. I'm likely to kill him. Me and my folks fought for this country, and we got some rights. I stood there in that shed and listened to that nigger throw that poison at me, and I just made up my mind. 'Chicago boy,' I said, 'I'm tired of 'em sending your kind down here to stir up trouble. Goddam you, I'm going to make an example of you—just so everybody can know how me and my folks stand.
how the fuck did raimi manage to slip that one in?

>SELL OUT MY OWN KIND? WHAT AM I? A KIKE IN AN ATTIC?

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And now we exclusively have minorities in the crowd