Times your life was like Office Space

>be me
>not getting laid
this is like office space

I hate my life and there’s nothing I can do about it because I’m an impotent coward

>I hate my life and there’s nothing I can do about it because I’m an impotent coward
Literally me.

literally as i'm typing this

Was Mike Stoklasa in Office Space?

>having a job and friends
well gee lemme think

>start job at job centre
>at reception with two other ladies
>they talk endlessly about shitty stories
>their gay dog doing something 'funny'
>how Portuguese people are really nice because the ones that worked in their resort were really nice
>being self-deprecating about being unfunny and talking my ear off and carrying on anyway

Oh and the highlight of their month is trying to organise a work night at TGI Fridays on the weekend. They're so excited about such a mundane thing, it makes me feel so depressed about modern life

Two chicks at the same time

who here /atwork/

women truly love working in an office environment, it seems like it satisfies their social needs and occupies their time with meaningless busywork which they seem to like. I wish I could have such a positive outlook on it all. It’s absolute torture for me.

Women are good little drones who will follow whatever retarded orders management gives them with no questions asked and they don’t push back against bureaucracy, that’s why offices are full of them. Men are less likely to follow inefficient instructions and processes. It was mind blowing when we had to spend a week with others in the department 1 on 1 watching how they did their job and sharing how you did it.
>every female coworker I watched obediently followed some very stupid guidelines put in place by out of touch managers, these things only slow you down and don’t help make anything better
>every time I ask why they did it: “because it’s in the guidelines”
>show them the faster way I do things
>”wow I never even thought of that but I don’t want to get in trouble so I’m not going to do what you showed me”
>been doing it for years with no flak from management
>about half my male coworkers developed their own workarounds to work faster, other half are NPCs

>Different department we collaborate with never does any work and outright ignores emails
>A team under them comes to me asking for guidance on what to do on a project
>Decide to step in because we have deadlines to hit and I don't want to be a dick to good people
>Other department immediately chimps the fuck out and escalates to senior management
>Third reminder this year that showing initiative isn't allowed and I should never help people

Such is life working for the government

This is one thing the movie was inaccurate about. Cubicles were revolutionary until (((management))) decided to cut corners by putting all employees on a desk bank with a useless divider. As a result you ended up constantly watched with less space than before the cubical revolution.

In the 00s there was a backlash to this and now people are made to work in useless reddit open-plan offices without a divider and glass windows in all the meeting rooms.

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right here bro
semi-private open plan architecture office
i still browse 4chn and nobodt notices

the ages 25-30

>useless reddit open-plan offices without a divider and glass windows in all the meeting rooms.
What fucking asshole thought this was a good idea? What fucking gay ass research suggested open plan offices were in any way beneficial towards productivity, morality or anything other than being able to squeeze a few more drones into the same working space?

I'm concentrating in finance at my university, will this lead to a comfy job? my other option was cybersecurity

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>cybersecurity
Nothing will need extra securing in the serverless world.

Just wait until you find out about "Activity Based Workspace"

can we all agree that women in the workplace was a bad idea?

Unequivocally.

>mfw been working from home for 4 weeks now
>working from home right now
>mfw my work productivity is shit because I am shitposting on this thai image board

oh well at least I got most of my bullshit done before the end of the week.

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literally apply for an upper management or supervisor position

Every fucking day.

My office keeps talking about implementing working from home but it just seems like bullshit. I'd be up for it.

Don't go into the medical field then, that is all it is.

i work for industry and deal with government regulators and it surprised me how much they seem to not know whats going on. to be fair, people in my own company are just as fucking dense and ignorant, so i dont fall into the "the govt is broken" mentality. i just assume every office is broken and filled with fingersniffers.

checked
>working from home
>salaried
>lost the ability to differentiate free time from work
>it never ends

the worst fucking shit is all of the bullshit companies make you do that isn't your fucking job
>we're going to have a company outing for some fucking reason even
>haha these escape rooms look like crazy fun so clear out your weekend two weeks from now
and they make this shit "mandatory" and if you complain about it they put a note in your HR file for being uncooperative and "not a team player." like fuck you nigger i do my work just pay me and fuck off

i have free reign to work from home and i too started just wasting all that time posting here and watching stuff. now i work on weekends to catch up when real shit is due. i started going in more just to demarcate work and personal time better.

It's pretty nice. I work with a team all on the eastern seaboard while I am in the pacific so I go to the office but there's 0 reason for me to be there except banter with the lads. Meanwhile if I work from home I can sleep in, not die from insane drivers, take a shower after a meeting, have Yea Forums open for banter while my code runs auto tests that take hours, play vidya during auto tests.

The benefits are pretty fucking nice. Just need to keep my work ethic in check when doing cases I hate.

>this guy doesn't into networking
enjoy your low rung of the career ladder

do you guys think less work hours is optimal? like reduce it from 8 to 4 or 6. what about going to work 3 or 4 times a week instead of 5?

You should have bitched to senior management yourself and acted just as outraged that they cant do their jobs. The other department obviously doesnt like you already so you dont have to worry about burning bridges

i don't care. i don't spend money on anything but groceries, rent and internet. i can go buy a brand new car straight cash. i'm honestly going to quit soon and just ride off of this shit for a while if i don't need health insurance to stave off the obama jew anymore.

Yeah I am planning on coming in more just to get that work balance fixed up.

it's literally been proven to increase efficiency, i don't know at what scale, but that along with the ability to freely leave and take time off is extremely beneficial to a company as well

open offices are AIDS. id rather work in chinese shoe factory conditions.

I am 100% convinced that 2 hours of every day are marred by garbage productivity and the 5 day working week is complete bullshit.
Cut my working hours to 6 hours a day and 4 days a week and I guarantee you not only would i be happier and more motivated my overall productivity, morale and output would be exponentially higher.

Not him but I don’t even get the benefit of networking for my trouble of going into the office and dealing with normalniggers. All of the important people in my department work in other offices in different states. My manager doesn’t have any pull and gets very little respect from upper management so seeing her every day does nothing to help me.

if I were to gauge how much actual shit I get done in a day it'd be maybe 4 hours. the rest is taken up by either Meetings, Insertions from higher ups, or me being a lazy shit/tired as fuck.

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nice dubs. do you have an article or whatever that has studies regarding this?
a lot of people believe this, too, but companies think that having more people on the floor creates an image of productivity.

watching co-workers fumble around excel makes me twitch and i have to stop myself from pushing them out the way and doing it myself
>SELECT THE ENTIRE COLUMN AND DELETE YOU DUMB FUCK, DONT CLICK ON EACH CELL AND RIGHT-CLICK DELETE FOR EACH
>AT THE VERY LEAST PRESS DELETE ON THE KEYBOARD THE DOWN THEN DELETE THEN DOWN AGAIN AND SPEED IT FUCKING UP
>SERIOUSLY FOR FUCKS SAKE YOU'D FAIL EVEN A BASIC EXCEL STARTER COURSE
>AAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Yes. Probably 2 hours a day are wasted anyway. You should go to work, finish your work and leave. Being stuck somewhere and looking busy is what gets infuriating.

Not trying to be pandering but I know a lot of teenagers main Yea Forums so I've got a tip. All office jobs are not the corporate hell you might think it is, I know I did during college and I was dreading it. But the security and freedom you can find at some companies is totally worth it if you can put up with the absolutely bullshit office culture.

my manager is a remote worker in a different state and his manager is in a different country. im the only guy on my team. i took it upon myself very early on to just start meeting, in person, anyone i can in that building. i go to people with stupid questions all the time and segue into longer conversations. i will walk up 3 floors and ask a question before i send an email or jump on the messenger. you gotta get your face out there on your own if nobodys got your back. companies managed like these are terrible at identifying value-added employees so you've gotta do the legwork yourself.

20 hours a week is optimal. Actually working 8 hours a day makes you fucking depressed. Just showing up at work for 8 hours a day makes you semi-depressed.

>do you have an article or whatever that has studies regarding this?
got you my man
this article is a rundown on different parts of the world
>businessinsider.com/employee-productivity-experiments-companies-shortening-the-workweek-2018-7
this is specifically about 6 hour work days and how productivity can change when hours are drawn out
hbr.org/2018/12/the-case-for-the-6-hour-workday

This is very much the case. Pointless meetings and pointless team activities, and loads and loads of wasting time to make the day go by faster.

>whatever retarded orders management gives them with no questions asked
See retarded orders isn't the actual problem. The actual problem is when you're expected to follow retarded orders while also producing results that can never be achieved by following the retarded orders. Do your own thing and you get shit from your boss from not following orders. Do what he says and you get shit from your boss for not getting the result. So you have to pretend that you're following retarded orders while actually doing your job in a non-retarded way. No that's peak office life

this holds true even if your boss is a smart person who generally knows his ass from a hole in the ground.

for me though, young women in the office are the worst. older ladies are cool because their pettiness is far less vitriolic. their gossip is more "oh you know so and so" rather than defensive. these 30something women with multiple kids come to work and complain about their fucking husbands while slacking off, being generally ignorant of things, and dressing provocatively.

based

Every goddamn time I visit this website as a way to distract myself from my loneliness.

>Finish my job and prepwork for tomorrow
>have to stay at work incase some delivery guy comes to drop merch or something comes up
>browse titties on Yea Forums meanwhile
>boss comes around and stares at some titties while on a call and leaves later
Small business rocks

is that the cancer doctor from House MD?

Every single day of my life

>Being stuck somewhere and looking busy is what gets infuriating.

Fucking exhausting as well. There's only so many times I can read the news.

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I want to have sex with two chicks at the same time.

Literally every day of my life. I'm a software developer for a large bank based out of SA, TX. It's pretty comfy desu, it pays great and you don't have the insane hypercompetitive environment of Google or Amazon

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I want to get into coding. I’m working on learning SQL at the moment. What type of shit should I learn so I can get to WFH?

My old job was like it but with more pressure as I was a manager.
Tasked with managing a team of 8, but still deeply involed in day to day operations as we needed 10 bodies to cover all the work, but staff that left were not replaced due to cutbacks.
There was one report that I had to complete daily (manually because of the antiquated systems) for our biggest client and I got hounded for it if it wasn't sent through before lunch.
Imagine Office Space but the main character got a phone call every minute, several hundred emails a day, worked minimum 2 hours extra each day (unpaid) just to cover the workload, and drank himself to sleep every night. That was my life for 5 years.

Right now, I'm sitting at my cubicle waiting for my shift to end. There's so little for me to do that they'll probably eliminate my position once I quit but I also make so little they wont lay me off so for now I have job security

Don't learn SQL, start with the fundamentals. C++, Java & .NET if you want to go corporate-tier, JS because almost everything runs on it now, and also brush up on basic web dev

you're like "a copy of a copy of a copy": the guy.

>Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Sneed posters can't see me, heh - after that I sorta space out for an hour.

>Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, shit posting.

If you want to get in fast get into Web Dev Frontend+Backend and you should get in. Learn Javascript, HTML, CSS, REST API's, and a typical backend language like PHP(have fun), python or ruby. SQL is a given now that a majority of websites require some form of storage.

most every coding job has a WFH option. ask during the interview process if you're curious.

Thanks. It’s my first week on a new job as a financial analyst. No ones given me anything to do and I’m being hounded about leaving 15 minutes early bc there is literally nothing to do. Really looking to go into something with some freedom

>work in office
>take acid before coming in one day
>sit at desk tripping balls all day
>boss compliments me for being at my desk all day

Is this the greatest comedy ever made? Nothing else really seems to come close in terms of how depressingly true and fresh it is 20 years later

probably so, i'd give caddyshack a close second

What’s the most efficient way to learn? I’m guessing y’all studied Compsci. Other than formal classes what would you recommend? Any specific books? Or the khan academy?

Today is actually my last day at a job that is similar to Office Space. I'm so glad to be leaving. The thing is, the job itself isn't bad or stressful, it's just incredibly boring and frustrating. You deal with lazy and slow people, no one wants to be there, the work you do is tedious and unstimulating. no matter how energetic or optimistic you are, the cynicism of your colleagues and the overall work environment eventually wears you donw. most of my days were spent here shitposting and i was still a star player (my boss actually wanted to promote me to a manager and was super upset when i gave in my resignation).
but the worst part about the job was just that you feel like you're wasting your life. you don't feel like you're doing anything useful or going anywhere in your career.i studied chemical engineering, but couldn't find a job right away so i took this job (management position at a IT company). this job brings me nowhere close to my career goals and i felt like i would be stuck here doing useless shit my entire life. it was seriously depressing.
I'll be working at a big oil company in 2 weeks as a junior chemical engineer. things work out in the end if you keep trying.
but all that being said, working a shit job is miles better than being unemployed.

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There's a laundry list of online resources. Taught myself HTML, CSS, JS, and Python. Go find the actual documentation that covers each language. Take free online classes (I got in when they were still free, now they all charge it seems). Start building your own projects.

thanks, my man!

at my gf's work promotions are actually based on who's fucking retarded. She sells insurance, and since she's a good seller, they'd rather keep her on the phones than promote her to management, so those positions go to shit sellers.

>What’s the most efficient way to learn?
School is really only useful to force you to study + the connections + the stupid piece of paper.
>Other than formal classes what would you recommend?

khan academy is good. you can also just start your own website with a local server or even use a basic bitch host like godaddy so you can see how you release code etc.

for reference I have a BS in comp sci and have been working for 3 years.

a diversity hire, aka a woman.

It isn't. It truly feels like prison.

I worked in a cubicle for a year and Office Space is still 100% true.

just came home to cook dinner. Benefits of living 5 min walk from home.

This guy gets it.

> that boomer that is always talking about golf like it's better than cocaine
> the fat secretary who wants the thermostat at 65F degrees

I'm 6ft and 155lbs. At my last job I literally had to wear a coat in the office because the 300lb secretary kept the AC so low.

only upside is jerk off material. That being said my supervisor is a woman and very competent at her job, but I just day dream about fucking her because she looks like BDH but with an even juicier ass.

right here baby doing research cause it's the last day of this sprint and everyones on a day off so I ain't finishing these last 2 shit tier cases.

hell yeah dude, long commutes are hell

I'm usually more productive from home because I don't have to shower/get dressed first/commute. I can eat whenever I want, and lay in my bed and work if I get tired. At work it's just a struggle to have energy to sit there.

>mfw working from home and doing 40 hours of work in 5 days while playing WoW and jerking off

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checked dude get that shit done then it's time to chill

PICS

Oh I feel you there user. Just scrolling and f5ing the same damn top stories.

Michael Bolton?

Nothing is impossible. I've done it. Make it happen.

wtf based and checked

I've worked white collar and blue collar jobs. The blue collar is only better because I'm self employed as a contractor. I can turn down work or take a vacation or day off whenever I want. If I had a blue collar job with a boss and a 40 hour work week it would be worse than an office job

Never. I quit my shitty job, and now I'm a rich NEET

It really is soul-crushing and boring. The best thing about my last such job was that we always had 2-3 people in the team that had a sense of humour and could fool around to try to kill the boredom.
The job itself took maybe 3 hours to finish, but the management wanted everyone to stay the mandatory 8 hours. My last half an year when I decided I've had enough I spent maybe 4 hours tops each day there.

Oh, and open office spaces suck ass.
Also a problem that I didn't see mentioned in the comments is the temperature. Women generally prefer it to be hotter, so it's pretty hard to be there when you're sweating like a pig.

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in
i wanna be neet

>hot-desking
>codeword for "we don't have enough space"

Man I'd hate that shit. I actually got a really nice cubicle in the back of the office. Only one guy sits behind me and he only shows up once a week

This so much. Open offices are a fucking meme. I love having a cubicle. Anyone who says working in a cubicle would "suck" has never worked in a cubicle.

The company I work for is cutting costs so they're doing the whole "So... what do you do here?" shtick.

I'm actually a top performer though so I have nothing to worry about. Already seen a few lazy fucks pack their shit and leave though.

>office has hot-desk policy
>some people claim desks as 'their seat'
>have to move twice in one day on the rare occasion I'm in the office

the fuck is the point of hot desks if they're not all hot desks

>work as an EMT but in a corporate setting
>day consists of zoning out for the first 3 hours until lunch
>have to help out retarded boomers and Stacies who thought excel was a verb instead of a program
>have to go to meetings and sign memos that don’t pertain to me but since my office is there then I must do so because muh team building
>bosses are fucking clueless sometimes
>printers/scanners don’t work half the time and IT just puts it on the back burner because they’re too busy trying to network in more computers for incoming wagies
>boss keeps asking corporate to fire me but they won’t because they had to pay out a settlement to some fatfuck boomer that worked overtime and died of a cardiac arrest in the office after everyone left

>That guy who walks around humming and whistling
>They guy that think he's Ahbed from Community
>That guy who refuses to use the fart booth
>That guy who has his volume so loud you hear BLING BLONG 200 times a day when he gets email

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What the fuck kind of shit job do you have?

>>boss keeps asking corporate to fire me but they won’t because they had to pay out a settlement to some fatfuck boomer that worked overtime and died of a cardiac arrest in the office after everyone left
What's that got to do with you getting fired?

>That guy who walks around humming and whistling
also that guy who beats on his desk like he's a drummer

FUCK OFF with that shit

>It's a team meeting on Monday morning that overruns because of women's chatter episode
>That time everyone was forced to undertake diversity training again because the soiboy boss loves it

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oh dude pffff.... hell, lumberg fucked her, uhh who else..

helpdesk (sucks) but work from home (preddy good)

every day.

I even have the same uneven eyebrow as the guy in the OP

How is it any more soulcrushing than wagecucking it ? People don't even treat you human, and the sub 100 IQ tards ride a line between sperging out and having things go smoothly depending on if you, or they make a mistake. Fuck, I hated Customer service. Whenever I read about anons trying to make wagies life a living hell by dumping popcorn or smearing shit I'd unironically love to spend all that time by myself cleaning than dealing with any retards coming into a movie theater or mcdonalds then throwing a temper tantrum because they don't have enough money.

>female co-worker puts heater on under desk when its 24 degrees in the office
>moans and bitches whenever i put the air con on even when its like 29 degrees outside.

fuck i hate that shit. Working an office job really has began to make me hate women a lot more now i have to put up with thier shit on a daily basis. I miss my comfy warehouse job

>>That guy who refuses to use the fart booth
???

>so anyone have questions or comments?
>multiple people chime in with completely unrelated shit just to hear their own voices
>meeting drags for another 45

>multiple people chime in with completely unrelated shit just to hear their own voices

Thats me ;)

I also intentionally start arguments with multiple members of staff in the meeting just because i like conflict and making them look weak in front of the boss

>they leave the fart booth door open

DON'T

As someone who needs to appear busy a lot I love phone meetings. These absolute windbags can stretch absolutely nothing into an hour and a half call and nobody bothers or questions me when I wear the headset as I listen to the head of my department prattle on and on

>Working an office job really has began to make me hate women a lot more now i have to put up with thier shit on a daily basis
I love how some of them think they can behave the way they behave at home with their whipped husbands.

Seriously every woman in my office has their own heater. Sometimes they blow circuit breakers because they use to much power.

Also they complain about headaches if a light bulb goes out or gets replaced.

i like to subtly fuck with the shitty types. i love the polite older ladies and the pleasant women who are 9 times out of 10 fatties, but the ones with attitude, usually post-wall and multiple-kid-having twats, are the worst. i gloat about my childfree, travel-frequent (because bitches equate travel with the holy grail) lifestyle and brag about how much sleep i get. jokes on her though, i get maybe 4 hours a night and im exhausted every morning.

LMAO the constant war people wage for the climate was fucking stressful, all the fat fucks always push it down to anctartica tier, or at winter they opened their windows so everybody would freeze with them.

Wish I had cubicle's at my last job, OPEN OFFICE is fucking hell on earth.... You have no idea.

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i had cubes then my company converted to open office as it picked the place clean in preparation to buy Kraft. it was the worst.

As long as the workers don't collectively own the workplace it doesn't matter what's optimal for you, but what's optimal for profits, not what's most efficient, but what it is believed will get the most blood from the stone.

In a world where a 20 hour work week was standard, people still need enough money to live, so the company would be paying a similar amount for half the hours of labour.

Therefore why NOT keep you in for as long a period as they can get away with. They're paying you about the same amount anyway, of course they may as well make you be on hand for an extra 20 hours.

If workers owned the workplace, they could democratically decide that because a certain number of hours a day yield severely diminishing returns in productivity, they should just eliminate them. But when the workers, and their regard for their own health and happiness, do not have an influence on decisions, the company may as well keep you around for hours in which you are minimally productive. Even if you only produce at 10 percent your usual rate in those last 2 or 3 hours, that's still free money for the company. Even if you run out of work and are dicking around, they still have you in case they suddenly find something for you to do.

>haha I'm childless u jealous

fucking yikes

talk to more women

>the goal of a company is no longer profit once it's owned by workers

absolute galaxy brain take you chapo retard

some attitude filled 23 y/o roastie that sits next to me had our senior accountant come over to her today to show her some basic shit on our order processing system.

The senior accountant also handles the pricing of our products and i needed to ask him something quickly while he was stood behind her and neither of them were talking

I asked him and half way through she quite rudely shouted
"user no hes helping me. Shut up . hes not helping you, hes come over to me"

i kind of got angry on instinct and replied
>"you're not the fucking queen of the office, what? am i not allowed to speak to the head accountant until its my turn? it was going to take 10 seconds"

she got all bitchy and started chimping out for like 10 seconds talking about how i am rude/whatever. Head accountant turned to me after and i said "wow is it finally my turn now?" and she chimped out again.

She stopped talking to me for a while. I turned to her about an hour later after i had calmed down and quite calmly said
>"are you still angry?"
>"yeah"
>"well i bet you are. The way you talk to some people at work is embarrassing. you need to sort it out. Its rude and theres no need for it"

After i said this she was still mad for 5 mins then for some reason she began warming up to me again and being friendly. I think it might have actually knocked some sense in to her because i didnt say it argumentitively.

The thing is that stuff like this is gonna end up getting me fired some day because the whiteknight faggot bosses think that a pretty young girl can do no wrong despite her having major daddy's little princess syndrome.

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Kids (especially little ones) take up a lot of time and money. Boasting that you have all that really pisses off people.

where the fuck do you work

You didn't understand his point at all.
In that hypothetical situation the workers would come to the conclusion (for example) to work 20% less hours less every day and in that way reduce their profits by 2%. That's a deal a lot of people would make. But companies don't care because they don't give a shit about your time or life, so they want to squeeze you for those 2%.

in sales. Office is high pressure environment and i have no time for roasties shit. I am top salesman and i think its the only reason i havent been fired yet.

Depends on other factors and the wider societal situation whether its still based on profit retard. And in any case it would not be based on profit to the same absolute extent, as other interests of those working there now also influence decisions.

It's bAsIc eCoNOmiCs

so why don't co-ops practice that at present?

when multiple women tell you they take time out of their day to pretend that their kids dont exist and also complain about how their husbands never cook or do anything around the house, you learn what their buttons are pretty easily.

Oh sorry, I didn't know you're familiar with what all co-ops do everywhere.

>different department we work closely with gets a new guy to replace senior worker
>senior worker doesn't turn over shit or explain the way we do things before leaving
>new senior guy fucks everything up in the first week
>stamps his feet and demands we sit down together and come up with a "better way of doing things"
>new way is fucking retarded
>do it new, stupider way until it fails
>revert back to the old way
>new guy accepts that old way was better
>leaves in a year
>thus the endless chain repeats itself
Easily my least favorite part of office work

Of course. Wages and birthrates went down.

no, I'm just familiar with the largest co-op in the world, which practices 9-5

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i fucked two chicks at the same time once
as if

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CPA here in Big 4 tax. That's basically how my life is every day.

I wish I had a cubicle. We have open offices with hoteling.

My job itself isn’t that bad. I work for a Fortune 50 company, my pay/benefits are way better than I thought I would get with my meme degree and the work isn’t too hard or soul crushing. Sometimes I actually like my assignments if I get to solve problems without being held back by red tape. Those are just my honest experiences about being in a cube farm. If I had a private office I would be a lot happier.

5 days a week, 9-5

>Big 4 tax

What's that like? I work for a small audit firm, pretty comfy for an autist like me
>mfw I actually enjoy my boring-ass job

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I did exactly that for six months, then I went to graduate school

there are no fucking women here. used to work in retail where the management only hired teens with nice asses for cashiers. working in software now

Co-ops almost always have way better working conditions and benefits than equivalent workers in comparable normal companies, and its precisely because they're co-ops

But even so many co-ops aren't as democratic as others. Sometimes co-op basically means you get a decent share of the profits and some say, but it doesn't always extend to true democracy from the ground up.

That said, even for the most democratic co-operatives, you have to bear in mind that they're operating in an environment where 99.9 percent of businesses aren't co-ops. That means that to compete and survive you have to get close to the standard of regular companies so you're not devoured in the market.

People who are pro worker ownership generally want that for all businesses. Imagine that scenario. In it, workers could make a decision that knocks off 10 percent of profit to make their lives substantially better, and in a world where worker ownership was standard those kind of decisions would be common and set the industry standard. If the western world across the board eased into a lowering of productivity equating to 10 percent profit in the average business, in most fields it would be basically fine. The world would keep turning. More productivity doesn't always mean a proportionately better society if it causes exhaustion and depression in many. But in a competitive market dominated by private firms, that 10 percent profit might have been the edge you needed to not get overwhelmed by other companies. So existing co-ops definitely do substantially better for their employees, but they can't do as much as they could in a world where they were the norm.

Or maybe there shouldn't be competing co-ops per se. Maybe different industries are all democratically run as single entities, legally needing to meet the requirements of society from that industry but not directly competing in a race to the bottom.

>cubicles are so oppressive, man, what if we just got rid of them?

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>work in male dominated office
>everything is fine

im jealous. i have one guy who's not some introverted foreigner in my office and everyone else on my half of the floor is a woman. i just want a worthwhile work friend.

this and "modern" workplaces with beanbag chairs and fridges stocked with beer and a hundred times worse than the standard cubicle lay-out

>Work in Europe but for company headquartered in US
>mfw on conference call with American "director" yesterday
>mfw he says he's about to take a 2 week vacation
>mfw he says it's the first time he takes 2 weeks off in a row since his honeymoon 20 years ago
>mfw I have to contain myself from telling him I'm about to take my 3rd 2 week vacation this year.
>mfw I have 43 vacation days this year

Slavery was abolished in 1865 was it?

inb4 taxes

jesus this is like that "americans really live like this" photo of the Breezewood exit people here post. this office environment is gross and looks very noisy.

Depends on the job, really. I;m a designer, and I had cube jobs that were lonely and soul killing, and others where we all joked and talked to each other over the walls and hung out in each other's cube.
These days, everything is "open office" now, ie everyone works at a big table, which is great if you get along with everyone, but you can't get away with shit. Half-walls were the best compromise, but they're getting rare now, sadly.

is that one guy Wil Wheaton or the Musketta Man?

>These days, everything is "open office" now, ie everyone works at a big table
Fuck that shit

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>attend a conference call
>have to take notes
>boomer roastie manager decides to call in via skype
>doesn't bother to mute her mic when she's not talking
>nothing but that garbled voip noise of all the background shit she's doing
>nobody can hear a fucking thing but nobody wants to say anything to her

>be me, good office drone
>manager and director both leave at about the same time
>senior management decide not to shell out $ for new middle management
>mfw i have no boss right now
>mfw i can tell people i finished my projects without doing them
>mfw nobody cares if i come in late, if i take 3 hour lunches, if i leave early
>mfw i spent this entire month freelancing on the clock and dicking around on the internet
>mfw everyone likes me anyway and think i'm a great worker because i respond to emails really quickly

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>it's a "toilberg calls you into his office for a 1 to 1 meeting" episode

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unless everyone you work with is 12 somebody should have immediately spoken up

Right now. The small family-owned business of five people I've worked at for my entire career was just sold to a megacorp with 100,000+ employees. People from corporate had an eight hour meeting with me to determine "what I actually do" at the job. I start at the corporate HQ on Monday and I want to blow my brains out.

do you know and understand the company's systems and processes? Because if you do then you're irreplaceable

for a while at least.

Do you have any advice how to get better at sales user?

Yes, I'm the only one who does but our systems are being integrated into the megacorp's systems so it's only a matter of time before I'm fired and some goon takes over. My boss keeps telling me this is a "great opportunity" for us while he's making $Xm+ off the deal and I'm not even going to get a severance.

what you should do is say you've been offered a job elsewhere and see what he offers you, might as well milk it for all it's worth

Every single commute

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>listening to geto boys
>turn it down when the black guy selling feathers walks by my car
literally happens every single day

My sales is mostly incoming but the way i think of it so are most solid leads in sales. The chances of you being able to sell something to somebody who doesnt already want / need your product is pointless. Not everything is a fit and you need to know when to walk away instead of trying to sell ice to an eskimo.

Its like the 'sell me your pen' shit from the wolf of wallstreet. The real answer is to already have a person there who wants a pen. Then half of the work is done for you.

The rest is just learning to close, learning to juggle mutliple clients at once, learning to 'feel' how likely a sale is to come in and therefore how much energy to expend on it (otherwise you're just wasting your time). Also how and when to push a sale.

Also after sales care and learning to bend the rules as much as possible to your advantage within your business.

We, for example have a 'rule' that new clients have pay up-front regardless of whether they are a huge company who only works with purchase orders. This rule is of course bullshit because if you have a multi mill/bill company like macdonalds or maclaren they're going to pay. So i make sure to ONLY go to the accountant i KNOW does not give a shit about that rule and wants the cash flow to authorise purchase orders from these.

A lot of it comes time and is learnt naturally in my opinion. All you're doing is linking people up with the products they need and providing information really, it's simple.

i'd say putting the time in is more important than anything else. Most of my roastie colleagues (even the managers) refuse to stay any later than their working hours while i stay 1-2 hours late every day and barely have a lunch and i fucking decimate them. Nobody wants to work hard anymore but everyone wants to reap the rewards of working hard.

I actively chose a male dominated working field (or so i thought) and ended up working a CAD job with 4 women in a foundry. What are the chances really. One of them does actually have a heater under her table.

I was hired in order to be there in case another old fat fuck tries to croak. It’s pretty much for insurance and liability reasons.

>not creating distance and then just letting it roll

pleb traffic strategy

>which is great if you get along with everyone
No it's not, it's great if you don't have to do any actual work. Anything that requires concentration is very hard to do when people are walking around, talking, looking over your shoulder etc. Everyone in those spaces is wearing headphones blasting music as loudly as possible, trying in vain to isolate themselves from the rest of the office to get something done.

That is the plan - bleed them as much as I can. There's no fucking way I'm becoming a corpo.

Very stressful a lot of the time. January and February are 60 hour minimums. My group helps the audit team audit the tax part of the financial statements. At least we have next week off.

>americans
This is international, every big company is like that now. Especially in tech

Imagine stalking through there with an Armalite.

I'm starting my new (open office space) job on Monday. I just hope their hours policy is not that strict and I could leave earlier like at my last job.

Except I also have to change fucking gear everytime since I'm a Europoor who's to drive a manual.

There is this one teacher that was incredibly based. He even walked us to one of the soda machines at the lunch area to show us subliminal tits. He didn't care about administration but he knew what made a class great.

In that class, there was a teacher teaching us to play with girls. I asked this dude the truth, and he said if he saw any of the girl's toys on us boys would do whatever they wanted.

In that class, there was a teacher teaching us how to masturbate. He actually did that on the spot. I laughed and told him to suck my cock. I felt so bad that the fuck I hadn't masturbated the entire day. Now I'm so horny that I do exactly what this poor asshole was going to teach me.

So I would see these teachers, my mind would wonder what they would do with my cock to keep me in line. What would they do with it?? I knew that he would want to watch me with it right next to him so I gave it away to him, I even went that far in explaining "Just show my friends about this, they will appreciate it", I just laughed at his ignorance. I didn't care about my classmates as I was looking at my teacher and his cock and felt like an idiot trying to impress them.

This wouldnt be as bad if it didnt have the fucking ethernet cables coming from every desk up in to the ceiling. What kind of retarded bumfuck idea was that?

These new age apple and google style offices really get on my nerves. Our managing director is a little posh faggot who had the business handed down to him from his dad and is obsessed with his office looking like this shit. He once had the idea to put a slide in our new office building because 'google have one'.

This faggot wants to have an ikea play dollhouse, not a business.

do people actually do this
you literally dont even need to use the gas in traffic

What government? Also maybe get a less pussy boss, current boss smashes throw government bs, our team is almost at a private industry level

kek, you just can't win, unless you choose trades

euros on /int/ bully americans for driving auto transmissions ;_;

please tell me you're kidding about him suggesting a slide

people try to send phishing emails to companies all the time (and it works because most employees are retards) then they lock you out of all your shit and that’s why cyber security exists, because people are stupid

Me unironically. I am a chauffeur waiting for my passengers and listening to audiobooks. I always make sure to only switch over to music after they get inside so they hear a snippet of my book and conclude I am an intellectual.

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it's horrible you have to listen to the people near you and there are no windows and you get sick of some of the people also I had a cubicle next to the coffee cube and people constantly bothered me and stole pens and shit fuck all of that nonsense goddamn I don't want to hear about that lady's father anymore also her fucking fan would vibrate my desk through the cubicle wall it was hell

based

at my old company they wouldn't even let me bring my own keyboard in because they supplied garbage membrane bullshit and didn't want people to have different setups

>org and employee development consultant
>get contracted by "progressive" companies like pic related
>waaaaaa our productivity is shit wat do mr sharp dressed business man
>put on ear buds to blend in: youtube.com/watch?v=Pn2-b_opVTo
>glance around
>dudes wearing pajamas
>token female hires wearing yoga pants with PINK emblazoned across the ass
>VP of human resources is the guy I mistook for the vending machine delivery boy
>handful of guys playing video games
>break room stocked with enough alcohol to put three fraternities in the hospital with alcohol poisoning
>go back and tell them to cut 66% of the workforce and make the remaining 33% work for their paychecks
>waaaaaaaaaaa
Austin, you're a lady. A diseased, pox-ridden lady and I both love you and hate you.

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That's funny since where I live if given the choice most people will choose an automatic. If only maintenance and gas expenses weren't so high.

This is awesome

I would love to be the axman consultant that drops in, makes cold assessments of their workforce, and indirectly fucks over hundreds of lazy pieces of shit who don't want the job bad enough. I feel like I'm cold and misanthropic enough to excel at this.

nope. The guy thinks having something 'quirky' in his office will give him prestige with his london socialite friends. The irony is that any professional businessman would laugh in his face if he told him he had a slide in his lobby/office.

He also suggested having a load of giant plastic dinosaurs in the field outside of the office to make it 'quirkier for visitors'.

I swear to god you cannot buy taste.

working right now at my pinsetter mech job. pretty glad i dont work and office job. decent pay and as long as the machines are running noone cares what i do. no forced social interactions at all

Working in a cubicle isn't comfy, but its actually not that bad... what makes it soul-crushing is management. Take this as a protip from someone that works quite a bit with people from upper management; management nowadays is nothing but complete psychopaths, pathological liars, and backstabbers. NEVER EVER trust a MBA. REPEAT, NEVER trust a MBA and/or a CEO, they are all fucking scum that deserve gas chambers. Every single one is a terrible human being without exception with virtually no redeeming qualifies.

Get a MS or PhD in human resources development. It's pretty much all I do all day and I made 35K in March after taxes. Most days I don't even put on clothes, I just sit naked and write up reports for whoever I'm working for. Austin, Texas was the worst I've ever seen it, but I'm based out of Illinois.

No surprises. Our upper management is practically a mafia and we're not even that big a company.

>work faster
>assigned more work
>paid the same
>toilberg is gifted a bigger yacht by his wageslaves for free
lmaoing @ your life

>coworkers are normalfags and boomers and roasties who bring high school-tier drama
This so much. There was this 50-something completely obese woman that used to work in our call center. She was so nice to everyone's face. Went around hugging everyone when she came in. (Barely did any work.) But you learned pretty early on that you don't mention shit to her about your personal life unless you want the whole office to know about it. Overheard her straight-up gossiping with a supervisor about how many speeding tickets I had. (I had told her previously when she asked why I came in late one day; told her I had just come from court for my latest speeding ticket). Shit pissed me off so much until I realized that she was doing this to literally everyone. Smile in their face, then talk shit about them behind her back. She was so sloppy with it, but what could anyone do? We all had to remain "professional" and smile back at her without being able to call her out on her shit.

I worked in a blue collar environment at this one particular job. My boss was a soul sucking prick that sounded like a hick version of Lumberg. Every so often on Friday he would find me and ask me to come in Saturday and do maintenance on some equipment. The job was all salary and 60+ hours a week.

>work in car industry
>really bad order situation till at least 2020
>have to stretch 7 hours work to 40 hours
Sometimes I feel like dying from boredom. I would quit if the pay wasn't so good.

>work 40h/wk in a skilled trade
>dont have to work with w*men
>dont have to worry about offending anyone with banter
>mostly merit-based work (you don't get a good reputation in the field if you suck at bending pipe or you dont want to lift heavy shit, no matter what "connections" you have)
>develop a kind of camaraderie with your coworkers and even with other tradesmen because you're all working on the same project which might suck sometimes and you'd rather be doing anything else but you still want to try and do something resembling quality work
>get to fart and burp and cuss out loud and nobody will tell you to watch your manners
>am unionized
>only sucks because of being out in the weather and i'm still somewhat out of shape
>been thinking about what I want to try and "move on" to in a few years since i'm only 27 and I dont know if I want to work in the trades for the next 33-38 years
Should I take the white collar pill? I dont know what field I'd be able to get into since I suck too much at "higher math" to get into programming/CS or accounting/finance/auditing.

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why not stay in your line of work but try and get into management or administration? semi white collar but you're not sitting on your ass all day.

>Shit no man, I believe you'd get your ass kicked saying something like that
I'm a Lawrence guy, one fella I work with came in saying "case of the mondays", we now make him do the worse jobs in the quarry, to make sure everyday for him is a "case of the mondays".

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he should have been a chadfield

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Only if they hit critical mass

> works in small IT company working mostly for banks.
> only 4 women
> one of the girls is on sales and business team
> she's still on the young side, and really ambitious
> we bully her
> always joking about her being old, or ass kissing the boss
> anything she's insecure about is good to go
> another one is in the tech team
> meh skills, like she doesn't really give a fuck
> she's quite shy, talks only when there are few people around, never come to afterwork
> we treat her like she's our girl, like we really like her
> that drives the first girl crazy

Now, none is really attractive. I should try to push a diversity hire of a really good looking girl, and wait for the shit to hit the fan.

I know how to play the system to avoid that scenario.
>get to office
>finish all my shit in 1-3 hours, sometimes I can get it all done in half an hour
>spend the rest of the day screwing around on my phone and replying to the occasional email, this is how I knock out my Netflix/Hulu backlog
>don't close my records out that show how much work everyone has finished that day and still has remaining until 15 minutes before I leave so if they check it looks like I still have work left to do and they won't give me any more
>been doing this for years and nobody has said shit to me about it

I work in communications and it's 10 times worse than this movie. Just really gay, constantly on eggshells, society of control type bullshit.

Same, fucking plebs touching my shit and staring at me all the time

>I never should have gone to college at 18, who the fuck knows what they want to do for 40+ years at 18
No one. I'm 23 now and slowly I know a bit but I'm too old to switch now.
Besides that it's mostly the company environment which I hate. In this case it doesn't even matter what I want to learn because it's always ruined by hr fags and management.

>dudes wearing pajamas
>token female hires wearing yoga pants with PINK emblazoned across the ass
>VP of human resources is the guy I mistook for the vending machine delivery boy
>handful of guys playing video games

>go back and tell them to cut 66% of the workforce and make the remaining 33% work for their paychecks

What? I thought the point of all that crap you pointed out was precisely so workers in "woke" companies like that would work longer hours for shit pay

>black lives matter post on the corkboard
so this is why its so disorganized. the people that work and possibly run this area are retarded libs. this pic reflects their minds because of how much of a cluttered disaster they are

>I suck too much at "higher math" to get into programming/CS or accounting/finance/auditing.
What? Audit noob mentioned above, there's barely any higher level math in accounting/auditing. It's all spreadsheetjockey shit, at least where I am. I'm more worried about what automation is going to do with the lower level stuff

What are you doing?

>tfw at 32 you still don't know what you wanna do
Just kill me.

>company fell for the hotdesking meme
>everyone hates it
>usually sit in their favourite place anyway until they force a change
I do get some amount of joy seeing how these big management ideas just trickle down to the peons who couldn't give less of a shit

Please spare us your mutt politics.

I went to college at 23 dude. Your life doesn't need to be in order until your early 30s if you want a family and all that shit.

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23 is still young as fuck, if you feel like you're trapped switch now.

Your life doesn't ever really need to be "in order." Fuck society's expectations. Do what makes you happy, as long as it's not at the expense of other's time, safety or money.

4 days a week a 5 hours would be my guess for optimal efficiency.
People come to work and try to waste as much time as possible. They don't care. Why would they? They are not paid for the work they manage to do but the time they spend there.
5*8 is fucking depression. It's not even 5*8 it's 5*9 +2*0.5. You have a 1 hour break which is completely wasted and unpaid. Plus drive there and home through work traffic. Fuck this shit. It won't change either for some reason.

>outsider comes in to give me a performance review
>act happy-go-lucky and just dgaf
>it looks like I don't have anything to hide
>get a 10/10 review
>thanksofficespace.webm

This.

8hr workdays easily turn into 10,11,12hr days depending on where you live, traffic, etc.
Workdays should be 6 hours, and lunch should be either paid, or otherwise "optional" somehow.

if you like your boss, cubicle office jobs are fucking great.
if you don't like your boss, it's hell on earth

>Times your life was like Office Space
Office work is great. Its easy, its air-conditioned, no heavy lifting, no noises or exposure to toxins. LOTS OF WOMEN TO FUCK. Wait until you go to the office "retreats", its a flesh farm of drunken fucking.

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>lunch should be either paid, or otherwise "optional" somehow.
I think in my country it's stated by law that you have to make that break. Not sure though.

>work is closed Sundays completely, but Saturday is the "optional" day (boss said this word when I was hired) where the firm only runs a skeleton crew
>my only scheduled day off is Saturday
>boss calls me on cell phone literally EVERY SINGLE SATURDAY to have me come in
>start screening his calls on Saturday
>boss tells me in very diffuse and passive-aggressive way that if "You're not going to prove yourself reliable, then maybe you're not as valuable as he thought"
>people get "downsized" every few months, and I haven't been there that long
>come in and get cucked out of my day off on Saturday
>mfw it's salaried position, and I don't even get OT for it because my unpaid lunches equal out to one full day of work anyway according to them

>LOTS OF WOMEN TO FUCK
#MeToo killed office dating/hook ups. You're a fucking retard if you are sleeping with chicks at your workplace nowadays, especially if you are in management and they are regular wagies. You better have enough savings to get by for a couple months or a good backup job available because she will eventually report you to HR for sexual harassment and they will automatically take her side.

>tfw small office with ~30 staff, half of the women are married

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never because im a warehouse slave not an office slave
it still sucks but i honestly believe it's infinitely better than office shit anyway

Right fucking now.
>had cushy part-time job doing generic office work
>effectively a one man department
>no supervisor or manager breathing down my neck all the time
>desk was tucked away in the corner with no one near me
>monitors weren't visible
>did all the day's work in a couple of hours then spent the rest of the day relaxing
>company hires a new manager to split another large department up
>he picks my corner of the office to set up in
>come in after a week of holiday
>find him sitting in my seat
>"oh we moved your desk, didn't you get the email?"
>what reason
>"I'm gonna be doing a lot of important stuff, yeah, so I can't have people seeing what I'm doing. Sensitive data."
>bullshit but okay, where's my desk
>"it's over there"
>desk in the middle surrounded by Karens
>operations director sits directly behind and facing me
>whole office can see my screen whenever they walk to the break room or toilet
>pc isn't even set up
>my boss calls, he works from home
>"hey I see you aren't logged in yet"
>they moved me
>"yeah I thought you'd come in early to set yourself up though"
>how was I supposed to know, they sent emails to my work account that you won't let me access outside of work for "security reason"
>only reason I can't work from home is the same bullshit excuse
>okay well you can skip your lunch to make up the time if you like?
>look under desk
>no data point there, so no plugs or ethernet available
>have to book in with IT department to get it installed
>"just raise a ticket on the system and we'll sort it"
>on what fucking pc
>"oh yeah, well I'll try to remember to put one in for you"
>fine, I'll scan documents for now
>fucking printer is broken
>Karen next to me says "yeah it's been like that for a week now"
>nobody bothered to raise ticket
>spent rest of the day asleep in my car at the other end of the car park

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It's fucking awesome, mine is like The Office TV show.

Why not quit?

As others have said, it's at least air-conditioned and labor-free. I can still be /fit/ and do shit I want because I'm not really wiped out at the end of the day. Also, like I said haven't been there long enough, and I really want to build my CV and have at least one "real" job I stayed at 3+ years.

holy shit
find ONE nigger in that pic

Job loyalty is a meme, being played for a chump (which your boss is doing to you) is merely an open question of how much shit will this guy swallow

speaking as someone who has gotten fired from multiple jobs for not getting work done, don't worry about that. everyone is hiring anyone they can because unemployment is so low. you can make up any shit you want on your resume and half the time they don't check references.

the one taking the photo

>constant pointless meetings

I feel this pain. My last job would have daily 1-1.5 hour long meetings.

don't be ugly

Comfy office job here, head of accounting and finance, got my own office only thing that sucks is everyone bothers me all day because nobody knows how to do their fucking jobs, and my company is losing money and probably going bankrupt by the end of the year, still wouldn't trade it for manual labor no matter what.

>constant pointless meetings
If you're unfortunate enough to be saddled with a low IQ manager, they will demand hour long meetings where nothing remotely new or important is said but they're convinced the idea of having a meeting somehow equals forward progress

Initiate now or else you're gonna be stuck doing some bitchass basic work forever

Been to 100's of meaningless morning meetings, this is literally what managers think " work " is.

I was one of two Data Analysts in my old division & watching the "more qualitative" Business Analysts work on Excel or try to write SQL was stroke inducing. They'd fumble around with the mouse for a minute before I would ask to drive & complete whatever they were trying to do in 10 seconds. Also none of them understood how joins worked even though there were literally only two tables they would need to query from in the database.

imagine being stuck in the dying process forever without actually having an end to your suffering, that's an office job

Should I watch Office Space or did it age badly?
I'm 26, work in an office and have depression. The closest thing I have to a friend is one coworker who probably doesn't give 2 shits about me anyway.

sounds like you suck shit at your job if your underlings don't know how to do yours, consider seppuku

It IS comfy, that's for sure. It's just that it's work and work in general reminds you that life is shitty as fuck and that there's no way out, if you already have depression.
It's not the job that's bad, it's the fact that you have to have a job and that you spend most of your life working.

Complaining about office work is literally first world problems. Go out there for one say of physical labor where you do the same repetitive action requiring force for thousands of times among loud noises for shit pay

Office Space holds up very well for its age. The computers and tech are hilariously outdated but the plot and theme and characters are still relatable.

>its another "demo crew runs the tile scraper for hours in a hallway and you dont have access to earpro" episode
>its another tinnitus episode

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>tfw became an HVAC technician

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neet here, is there any fucking job that is actually comfy? dont even care if its min wage

tfw shoulders wrecked

>tfw became an HVAC engineer

Are you the refrigerant/copper line guy or a tinner? Ive noticed the refrigerant guys have it pretty ez but the tinners just fuck off all day when they're not bashing sheet metal

I didn't hire the fuckers, i just deal with them, lazy fucks who never want to learn new tech, or take courses to get better at what they do, fuck them, i wish i could just clone myself and fill jobs with more me.

Get back to work Alex

after so many concussions your life basically becomes office space. i can't give two fucks about what happens. except instead of failing upwards i'm just being marginalized and essentially disappearing. not that it matters to me.

Comfy is code word for boring.
Peter also had 8 different bosses who gave him shit. Anyone who's had even 1 shitty boss knows how bad that must have been.

Waiting tables can be stressful as shit but leads to an awesome party life and can basically guarantee you friends
Graveyard shift security is comfy as shit but there's so little to do you'll find yourself going insane
Prep cook in a fast food place is pretty mindless but will keep you busy enough without any real stress

no, that's a myth. neet life is as comfy as it can get.

I went through a year long period of this before I was laid off along with a bunch of other people in the company, I want to say it was the best thing that ever happened to me but I went from making $20 an hour to minimum wage at my friend's comic book store and I struggled really fucking hard and eventually quit to work as a merchandiser

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and then after 10-20 years you kill yourself

5 up from my maximum. I should start making preparations.

Shit, is this actually common? I thought it was just one of those things that only existed in theory that douchebag techbros write articles about on Medium.

There's not much to live anyway for anyone at that age

i would highly recommend trying cyber security. i work in the industry and i do work in an office with a cubicle but literally ever other complaint you will read in this thread is the exact opposite of my experience. everyone is pretty based and my chair is $1200 and later this year i’m going to vegas for an AWS training event. i’m just a dev, but the analysts who do the cool hacker stuff go all over the fucking world all the time for conferences and shit. it is a very cool industry, and the demand is only going to go up as everyone finally realizes that you have to take it seriously or you risk losing everything.

taking yourself out has always been the patrician way to go.

admiring that bro for keeping a cool face.
>i can do this
>this is natural
>"zero pain"

Brainlet here. How much math do I have to know to get into cybersec

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>mfw getting 400/week as a NEET

thanks guberment

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WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT DO I NEED TO DO?

IS THIS A CALI THING?

Vote for Yang.

>need to go make our french division 5s/lean compliant
>first day, find a guy working in a closet
>guide says they're trying to fire the fuck for under performance
>law makes near impossible to for people for under performance

your complaint is that you need to fire a guy? that's the worst thing going on in your life? eat shit

Where were you fucks during the 2016 election? Sitting on your asses in Vegas huh?

What the fuck do I do to get a cushy office job doing menial shit all day. I just want enough money for rent, food and video games.

>its a bunch of crying in the bathrooms, back stabbings, queen bee death matches, post wall hoes trying to fuck you over, cunts trying to #metoo you for hitting on the college girl

doubt it, those kind of office environments haven't been seen since the late 90s or only in the rare mostly men offices

how about you try and reread that post again retard

Pay attention in school, graduate with honors, spend the next 8 months applying to every office job within 100 miles, ace any interview you actually get, and take the first offer ever if it's for minimum wage, part time, with a 4 hour round trip commute, because another one probably isn't coming.

What country you live in?

Then how do I get a cushy IT monkey job to achieve the same thing?

Do what's above but then grind it out for 10 years.

How do I get a job period then?

?????

Who would have thought that the losers that do have a job on Yea Forums, are whiny little fags. Who are too pussy to look somebody in the eye and voice their workplace grievances. News flash, you can still be an asset and conduct yourself with a take no bullshit attitude. There might even be a hottie or a bro who feels exactly like you do. You think you are being aloof and cool, but you aren't. You are the weird faggot, who is most likely a pedo or worse. Nobody likes or hates you because you lack personality and a backbone. If you are willing to waste part of your life for a company, do it on a few of your terms of you can.

you shouldn't watch it because it will give you emotional release. which will make you less likely to go postal. which would be entertaining for everyone in the news.

Eh, depends on if you can negotiate pay and make yourself "irreplaceable".

that bad?

>cubicle guy opposite me has turrets, constantly coughing/clearing throat 3 times a minute for hours, moaning loudly like he just blew his load every time he sits down, stretches, relaxes, laughs uncomfortably loud and randomly
>random people walking by making brief eye contact or eyefucking your open tabs
>7 am to 3:30 pm work schedule = always tired
>can't leave to get lunch because no parking so have to eat at shitty work cafeteria
>too tired when you come home to vidya or look for another job or do anything
>every girl is already married

cubicle life is a slow burn of all your dreams until you die

office cuck here, I work at a major bank reading equity research.

Its fine some of the time, the guy behind me is a turbo chad and makes me look like a manlet but a nice guy nonetheless.

its an old-school type management, lots of boozing in the afternoon.

HR and #MeToo completely killed office fuck carousels

>she began warming up to me again and being friendly
you blew it she was offering you her pussy for dominating her mentally and keeping her in line

It’s fucking infuriating that shit like this is so common.

i'm a sustainability consultant and it's actually really refreshing to work in an environment where upper management is cognizant of human health and comfort since it's literally our job
we're permitted to take daily walks, get plenty of natural air and sunlight, keep our pointless meetings to a minimum and manage to keep our workload balanced with fun small talk because everybody's honest and relatively young

office jobs are fucking kino if you work with the right group of people, otherwise it is exactly like this

you sound like a faggot

>I feel like I'm cold and misanthropic enough to excel at this.

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why don't you ask for something to do? show some initiative, bitch

And you sound like you've never done a hard day's work in your life.