Scat and shitting in the saddle edition
Eternal /got/ General
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first for STANNIS
first to Stannis
FUCK DANYFAGS
>"You've seen our numbers, Edmure. You've seen the ladders, the towers, the trebuchets, the rams. If I speak the command, my coz will bridge your moat and break your gate. Hundreds will die, most of them your own. Your former bannermen will make up the first wave of attackers, so you'll start your day by killing the fathers and brothers of men who died for you at the Twins. The second wave will be Freys, I have no lack of those. My westermen will follow when your archers are short of arrows and your knights so weary they can hardly lift their blades. When the castle falls, all those inside will be put to the sword. Your herds will be butchered, your godswood will be felled, your keeps and towers will burn. I'll pull your walls down, and divert the Tumblestone over the ruins. By the time I'm done no man will ever know that a castle once stood here." Jaime got to his feet. "Your wife may whelp before that. You'll want your child, I expect. I'll send him to you when he's born. With a trebuchet."
How would you handle this situation as my boy Radmure?
suck jaime's dick and let him fuck me in exchange for freedom
>What do you mean we're out of incest? Go fuck me some more! NOW
But i like Stannis too
Jaime is a straight man
tywin could've found tyrion a wife, sure (hewould have to be forceful about it though, nobody wants their daughter to marry a dwarf), but I don't see why tywin would ever want to
why's that? afraid of having more lannister midgets?
FIND THE INCEST STRETCHER NOWWWWWWWW
peter dinklage isn't that bad at all. his wife is actually hotter than ncw's wife
Jon's penis is too small, your grace
>"If"
Why couldn't they cast someone cute as Jon?
small penis are better to impregnate
THE WHOOOORE IS PREGNANT
she just had a large lunch
what kind of food does dany eat?
Mostly dog fetuses and locusts.
>Dany gives birth
>Jon stabs Dany
>Jon has to raise his bastard(s), who never knew their mother, at the Wall
What does George mean by this?
i believe she has eaten dog sausage, stuffed olives and apricots in the books. she also enjoys penor
Targ cum
KING IN DA NORF
Just got to the scene where Irri fingers dany and honestly was that even needed? Just appeals to the perverse male fantasy
how did they get away with this?
sure, that and he hates tyrion
So did Robert and Ned ever... you know...
Overthrow an incestous monarchy? Yes
>muscled like a maiden's fantasy
Stannis & Davos have both been married once before. Now they’re together and Stannis is pregnant and scared.
Thankfully Davos (already a successful father of seven) is there to reassure him that it will all be just fine.
why does grrm write all these cringe descriptions
do you know who else is muscled like a maiden's fantasy?
Davos.
god i wish that were me (davos)
ANYONE DIES WITH A CLEAN SWORD I'LL RAPE HIS FUCKING CORPSE
How has every single Kingsguard before Barristan served for life? Did they all die in battle when there have only been a handful of armed conflicts in the 300 years of Targ rule or do they keep them even when they are too old to walk and wait for them to drop dead?
And they replaced it with another incestuous monarchy. Bravo.
I thought Twin said there was precedence for removing someone from the Kingsguard
1st for Mord!
They should at least have to pass annual physicals.
I only see two girls there
Does the physical involve a finger in the bum?
>Season 1 Tyrion
>finger in the bum
who was the most based character and why was it Euron?
>Oberyn will never take you up the rear while you eat Ellarias cunny
Why live?
>comparing that twink to a 6 and a half foot tall horned god with a giant's strength and the smell of leather and blood
shut up ned, jaime is pure and manly and has only ever fucked his sister unlike slutty thot bobby
what was even the point of this character
barely does anything then gets killed by the mountain
Yes all kingsguards must have healthy prostates in case the king requires to fuck them in the ass
did Robert fuck whores before Lyanna's death?
BESSY AND HER GREAT BIG TITS
>what is the dornish master plan
Burn in hell pleb
Yes. He literally impregnated one while believing that Lyanna is getting raped somewhere.
>the dornish master plan
so he never really loved her. what a cunt
renly's another faggot, Stannis is truly the best Baratheon
imagine sticking your fingers up jaime's ass to check his prostate and then pulling them out only to find them covered in shit
He also cheats on his wife with Melly
>the best Baratheon
*blocks your path*
>weak men will never rule dorne
YASSSSS QUUUEEEENNN SLAYYYY GURLLLL
>Joff
>Baratheon
He was doing his duty
He didn't really know her. All Baratheon bros just want to belong to another family. For Bobby it's the Starks, for Renly it's the Tyrells, and for Stannis it's R'hllorism and/or Davos.
>a weak man rules Dorne after she dies in a dungeon
Based
tl;dr baratheons are all cucks
i sad Baratheons, not bastards born out of incest
why didnt you protect her
We weren't there
look at selyse. she's a cold frigid bitch. can you blame him?
DON'T BELIEVE JON SNOW'S LIES!
But i did
I don't listen to filth
Claim your waifu and pick one lewd thing to do with them. I claim Jaime and pick sitting on his lap, stripping him naked and feeding him until he vomits and shits all over me.
I claim dany and pick giving her children and cuddling with her.
Dany
H*lding h*nds
his oldest bastard is already a grown woman by AGoT
hard truths cut both ways, ser davos
I claim Stannis and I want him to be my biological dad.
if the best ruler is one that doesn't want to rule... then doesn't that mean bobby b was the best king?
How would Stannis raise a son?
Anyone got that edit of homer simpson relaxing in Lannister merch?
no because his story wasn't strong enough
Probably by delegating the kid to Davos and Cressen.
Rewatched s8 for the first time
I don't hate it but at the same time it does feel rushed.
Will there be sequels to this or only prequels?
>Oberyn dies trying to avenge the death of his family
>avenge him by killing more of his family
I don't know, but I want daddy Stannis to take my maidenhood
>I claim Stannis and I want him to be my biological dad.
I hope the winters aren't harsh where you live.
Prequels are already in production.
Sequels, who knows? Some actors (like Clarke) have gone on record saying they won't come back, but offer them enough money and they might change their minds.
Gilly, eat her booty
>he doesn't hate Arya killing NK
>he doesn't hate the Army of the Dead not getting past Winterfell
>he doesn't hate the fact that was no White Walker battle in the Long Night
>he doesn't hate that the Long Night was in fact a short night
>he doesn't hate that nobody gives a fuck about winter
>he doesn't hate that suddenly Jon and Dany can't marry after the facts that happened in S7
I looked for you in the catalog
cute pajeet
>tfw you'll never sacrifice yourself for Stannis
why even live? Shireen was lucky that won't happen in the books btw
Please stop posting that picture it's so disgusting
Imagine picking Dany over the sultry Yunkai whore
Reminder that Stannis accomplished absolutely nothing.
>he doesn't want to see Stephen in HD
go back to fapping to niko's ugly feet
FOREIGN BASTARD
Guys, please, your husbandos are both pretty.
Niko in HD is much nicer to look at
For me, it's Khal Drogo
>she watches you drink horse piss, throw up and shit yourself
>is still sexually attracted to you
Shit writing, women are too shallow for that to happen.
>couldn't even pick up a sword
he started it. but i agree
he hasn't aged as well as daddy Stephen
why does jason momoa still appear at cast events
Stannis becoming King while Jon and Dany run off together is the absolute best ending
>implying chad can't piss his bed and shit his pants and still have roasties all over him
COPE
Because he's based as fuck.
It really is, GOD DAMNIT
WISH WE COULD TURN BACK TIME
>implying Stannis wouldn't want Dany dead
jaime only shit his pants because he was delirious after getting his hand cut off. he probably just sat there and shit himself while he hallucinated sitting on the toilet. you've got to admit there's something extremely sexy about it
Did you read the book? Chad or not, no woman would ever want to fuck Jaime after seeing what the Brave Companions did to him. Brienne is unrealistic.
looks like ezra miller in that pic
I don't think he should be that extreme of a pretty boy, he had Ned's face which was pretty plain
not a powerful enough story
Jon is Stannis’s loyal man and keeps Dany in a constant state of pregnancy so she doesn’t get any funny ideas about taking back the throne
Winterfell is SHIT
Snow is SHIT
Cold is SHIT
>Stannis becoming King while Jon marries Shireen to join their houses is the absolute best ending
Fixed.
So how about that king bran the broken ending huh
women are plebs. i want jaime to fuck me missionary and shit and vomit all over the bed while he does it
>settling for a distant cousin preteen
>over a hot aunt with dragons
I seriously hope you guys don't do this.
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Youtube "critics" are stealing our memes
>implying Jon isn't the cutest boy of the Seven Kingdoms
>hot springs
>hot water pumped through walls
>glass gardens
winterfell is comfy as fuck
winterfell is comfy
>>hot water pumped through walls
wasn't that only in cat's room?
I don't know how that duplicate line got there but oh well joys of phoneposting
why couldn't she just live happily ever after in essos bros
Fuck the Starks
Dany is an insane cunt. Jon must become Stannis's heir and marry into house Baratheon. It is his duty to the realm.
idk I mean probably only a few chambers but enough
The night king wins and purges westeros
>Jon must become Stannis's heir
Not his problem, is it? There are plenty of men for that future pile of ashes, Shireen, to marry. Ramsay Bolton, for instance.
How does this image make you feel?
He will do his duty or he will burn. House Baratheon needs an infusion of animu magic.
the starks are based
>This is our moment to shine.
Sick.
The Night King wins and purges Planetos
That ship isn't hot anymore because they are only cousins.
you mean retarded
>King! King! King!
Fucking bird subverting our expectations
book winterfell is much larger, and varied than show winterfell which is basically a medium sized keep with stables.
Was that supposed to be a radiation joke, or am I autistic?
She is too tall for him
stannis should have backed robb
That'd mean their children would be directly related to both Rob and Lyanna.
Also based
Reminder that Winterfell and Castle Black are the same set.
>What's wrong? Don't know how to do it? I can show you how.
w-what did she mean by this
>whoever marries Sansa will have to deal with her sucking off random soldiers and servant boys every day
THE SLAG IN THE NORTH!
Why do you think he married her irl?
The boy Joffery at least thought he was the legitimate king. Robb Stark knew he was a usurper and the punishment for that is death.
I would kill for a ASOIAF Strategy RPG.
>implying sansa will ever get to do either of those things
>implying that the free and independent north won't be iron born clay in less than a month
"Shine" is apparently nuke worker slang for radiation (e.g. "gamma shine"), so I think so.
He was a kino one-scene character for sure.
>Sex for Dummies
imagine marrying rose and having her roleplay as ygritte
Crusader Kings 2 with GOT mod, fren.
>Why do you think he married her irl?
Cope mechanism for not getting Emilia
but rose is superior
I get why he's in rehab and fucking french prostitutes, imagine having had a shot at Emilia and blown it.
>french prostitutes
why not danish prostitutes?
>'ate Rose
>'ate the Lannisters
>luv the North
>luv coke
>luv Emilia
>simple as
Are you SURE about that?
>imagine having had a shot at Emilia and blown it.
>and blown it.
Quite literally
I mean he did bang Emilia but she got too used to the big shots in Hollywood until Leto finally broke her both mentally and physically so now she dates chavs again.
weren't they russian whores? one of them revenge porned him with no monetary gain, she just wanted people to laugh at manlets with her.
Ryan Redwyne was removed as Lord Commander to serve as Hand. After realising he was shit at that he was sent back to be LC, the guy who took his spot was presumably sacked.
Other than that they all died or tried as traitors during various shenanigans like the Dance.
Cope Kit, move on bro. You're a married man already
Hell, I'd fuck Jared Leto. He's the prettiest man in Hollywood.
But Rose can't compare
I would much rather have sex with Josh Brolin
Is this Kit's biggest smile ever photographed? I wonder why...
Probably a better likelihood of that happening too, I remember how he cried like a little bitch when James Cameron called him a stupid kike to his face for not taking a part in Avatar 2. Brolin would probably be a catcher.
My queen cant be this cute
Then you're a faggot.
anyone saying "well it's not their fault they ran out of published material" is just wrong. They skipped over about two books worth of material, in truth.
since the other thread got deleted, posting here
Lindsay is awful, big shock
She obviously didn't read the books, her opinion is irrelevant.
my god, look at all those beta males.
>Sex for Dummies
did he bought it?
>Robb Stark
>usurper
He didn't want to take Stannis' throne, he just wanted Northern independence.
Why do he knows how to do oral that well being a virgin?
The North belongs to Stannis by rights. Independence is usurpation.
If Stannis had backed Northern indepedence, the combined forces of Stark and Baratheon could have taken on the Lannisters and Stannis would be King
That is as likely of a scenario as Stannis bending the knee to Joff and marrying Cersei.
Robb was the autistic one. He should have bent the knee to his king.
>He should have bent the knee to his king.
You can't bend the knee to yourself, user
To be fair Greatjon Umber kinda started and solidified the Northern independence by himself in 2 minutes flat. Not much Robb could have done.
Stannis would have probably married him to Shireen.
based robbfag
>user, get on your knees. Now.
how do you respond?
Nobody wants you as king.
Eat shit, Stannis.
Is he a ham?
I bend the knee
I didn't vote for you
>vote
Horses wouldn't be so retarded to pick an autistic cripple as king
Based. And Stannis gets extra heirs
>has only ever fucked his sister
*COUGH*
He had to pay Cersei back for Lancel, the Kettleblacks and Moonboy
>elect a broke foreign cripple with no army king
>let him gave a council of oathbreakers, lowborns, kinslayers and incompetents
>leaving you free and clear to rebuild, make new alliances with other kingdoms, raise a larger army and take a defenseless King's Landing begging for proper leadership, money and food
I think those lords knew exactly what they were doing
>Jaime and Cersei hugging as rubble fall around them
>"hey cersei"
>"yeah"
>"I fucked Brienne last week, the last person i had sex with wasnt you, lmao you ugly whore i only love as a sister now"
>"no wait jai-"
Jaime is a noble man who only sleeps with women he legitimately has feelings for.
YOU KNOW ITS THE FAITH MILITANT
>Her cover story amused her, but not Jon. She was a highly prized whore from Lys, where some still had Valyrian colouring, sold to the brothel they resided in for exclusive use by select customers.
>The brothel madam was a hefty woman with enormous breasts called Bessie, a friend of Varys, and a secret Targaryen loyalist
BESSIE?
BESSIE BETRAYED THE STAG FOR A DRAGON?
Did Brienne and the Faith Militant share a common goal in beating up Loras Tyrell?
Everyone wants to beat up Loras Tyrell.
>it's a Stannis tries to kill his kin episode
It's a Sansa betrays her kin episode
>can literally have any woman in the seven kingdoms he wants
>he chooses the ugliest one because of mutal feelings and respect towards each other
Are there any good Jon-Sansa fanfics
No, Sansa is a Bolton-Lannister whore who has tried to kill Jon twice.
I obviously meant pre-ruined Sansa
No. They're all written by sansafags, are sansa-centric and told from Sansa's perspective mostly
>pre-ruined Sansa
She was ruined the moment she came out the womb. There are plenty of fics between her and The Hound, whom she actually wants to fuck. I suggest you search for those.
There's this oneshot about Jon being forced to marry Sansa and then feeling guilty about how good it feels to dick her down only to submit to his urges
Yea Forums fucks up ao3 links though
Ok danyfag
>another sansa worship fic
Fuck off
I thought Euron was talking about Cersei's ass.
Do you read these to get off to descriptions of Jon
Friendly reminder that Stannis and Dany are both losers.
Imagine supporting anyone besides the one fairly elected monarch.
Those are the best kind of fics though
imagine supporting this rape obsessed creep
Show Brienne is hot though.
>fairly elected
>implying he wasn't warging all the lords on the meeting
How high was he here
>fairly elected
gerrymandered as fuck
Boy!
good OP
>lena_headey
where?
is that really her?
Robert Baratheon vs Young Griff.
>great story make good king
Elective monarchy is a recipe for chaos and an actual step backwards in political development. The early barbarian tribes in Europe tended to have elective monarchies, which then became hereditary feudal monarchies, then absolute or semi-absolute monarchies, then constitutional monarchies or republics.
Younger with a shitton of makeup and photoshop
No, obvious fake.
>tfw the real ending is more "Disney" than the Disney ending
I wanna go back.
Jon/Sansa is the most popular ship in Ao3, but I doubt there any “good” fics
Of all Disney endings, they picked the worst one.
Sansa+anyone is most likely to be the most popular. She is the self-insert of that crowd.
Night king winning or a massive pyrric victory against him would've been the only good ending
>North is independent now which means they elected foreigner as their king
seems legit
He had probably talked to them twice and considered that a relationship.
>Season 8 ends on this shot with this playing
youtu.be
pretty god tier ending
No, I read fics to see Jon dom a bitch and get worshipped using the chick's mouth, ass and pussy
would have been kino as fuck
>ywn see sam be killed by the night king
>ywn see jon go crazy after the death of his cowardly friend
>ywn see jon accepting his targeryan heritage
>ywn see jon go madtarg
>ywn see jon fighting the night king for 20 episodes
>ywn see jon repopulating westeros with dragon children
>not Jon sitting on the throne with Lightbringer with Dany's corpse to his right and NK body to his left
i'm looking forward to part 2
>No season-long storyline of various Westerosi factions attempting to hold back the whitewalkers/Others using various guerilla tactics only to get bulldozed for 10 episodes
>Daenerys
>dead
>See article titled: Game of Thrones episodes worst to best
>The worst was the episode where ramsay rapes sansa because sexism, even tho we also had an episode where theon gets castrated by ramsay (which is 5 times worse then rape) but no one cares.
>the second to worst was the season 4 episode where daario kills the mereen champ and tyrion prepares for trial (yes im serious)
I fucking hate normies
maario naharis
Reminder GRRM will NEVER EVER finish his last books because he saw how much people hated the ending with Bran the Broken.
Why bother when he has plenty of other offers on the table from many companies?
Can't disappoint the readers if there are no books and ending to be disappointed in.
He scrapped Winds of Winter years ago. He already knew the ending was shit and that he has no idea how to reach it.
>Cercei head
NO
buzzfeednews.com
>Winds of Winter is the best episode apparently
Why was undead Viserion so cool?
What about when Drogo rapes Dany or when Joff has his kingsguards beat the crap out of Sansa?
You thought the night king would kill a ton of people with him
Dany was never raped famalam
That episode is so fucking overrated
Neither was Sansa when she fucking married the Ramsay out of her own free will
super based and redpilled
Spin off where Jon was born with valyrian looks and Ned send him to Essos when?
But i like Dany too
some people don't count and brienne "fivehead" of tarth is one of them
>Stannis beats bolton
>Jon comes back after shireen is sacrificed due to the pink letter and his stannis wife shenanigans
>f'Aegon takes KL and kills cersei and becomes a "loved" king
>Dany leaves essos, sails to westeros, discovers f'Aegon
>MISSING STORY GOES HERE (I have no idea what george is planning but dany and f'aegon are not going to be friends)
>Dany gets angry, burns him and KL down - maybe the whole city, maybe only the red keep, doesn't matter
>Stannis is shocked, can stand having Jon in the north and sends him to deal with dany
>Prof. Drogon smells Jon, tells dany he's a targaryen, she fucks Jon cause george won't pass on his incest fetish
>She realizes she just wants to shag, convinces Jon to go back to essos, he agrees
>Stannis as AA and Bran as the Prince the was promised fight the others and euron, they find some deus ex magic way to beat them
>Stannis is king and Bran secretly controls him using his freaky mind control
>the end
the you wouldn't have her corpse next to him
I would be ok with her being Jon's Nissa Nissa
almost
>KINVARA USED PRAY (HIGH VALYRIAN)
>IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE
Good, but Jon and Dany would fight the Others too
Not bad, goes in opposite against the idea of him losing but I like it as a loyal Stannerman.
I watched the first season some years back, but i finally binge watched the whole show
Why are people so butthurt about the ending? It was fucking epic
>he doesn't know
youtube.com
>THE SEED IS STRONG
>ONLY THE STRONG CAN REVIVE
youtube.com
Sindragosa did it better
>Jon and Dany are the point of the whole series
>they didn't accomplish anything in the end
What did he mean by this
For me it's Viserion "The Pale" burning Winterfell down
>Jon and Dany
Dany is a red herring sweetie. Jon is the song of ice and fire. Dany is going to be raped to death by the dothraki at the beginning of tWoW. D&D only kept her on the show for so long because she was a fan favorite.
Jon brought everyone together so they could get slaughtered thus putting the Night King into a false sense of confidence allowing Arya to kill him. War is bad, don't fight it or you'll all die, just send an assassin
Dany then proved that Targaryens that everyone thought leant themselves to madness are mad and dangerous wmds that already stopped existing are dangerous. You can't fight bad genes but nurture is important too, nukes and superior force are bad
These are very important lessons user
I know your theory has no basis since the show is over and GRRM told them that Dany dies post Kings Landing sack.
And people have died and come back before, each by a red priest. And where is Drogon taking her body?
Would be better than what we got
>YWN Marry Brienne
It hurts bros
He's taking it to V--. You heard it yourself.
youtube.com
The only good part of S08E03
They leaved the Dany cliffhanger so the ending would be bittersweet
It's that time again
>Tfw we got 3 seasons of shitty man bun Jon
>When Wild Mane Jone was always superior aesthetically
This is now a GoT Aesthetics thread
Idk why Jon's armor suddenly became so shit upon resurrection. He should've been wearing Robb armor as soon as he became king in da norf
book euron>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>show euron
you're very rude
Sam says Volantis, you can hear him say it even though Bronn talks over him
yes, mom?
shit taste, user
It was the show increasingly conforming to idiotic Hollywood clichés (like Han Solo having to wear the same outfit for 20 years so as not to confuse the audience in TFA, or Picard having to be retconned as bald in his Academy photo in Nemesis because the viewers are literally too stupid to understand that someone with hair can become bald). Same deal with him still being called "Jon Snow" after he becomes KitN – kings have the power to confer legitimacy and he derives his appeal from being known as Ned Stark's son, so reason would dictate that if the Northern lords believe they can declare him king by acclamation, they would also by the same stroke be declaring him a legitimate Stark. How the fuck could "Snow", the default Northern bastard name, constitute a royal house?
Is Stannis Yea Forums's self insert? I mean he really isnt that great of a character. Hes complicated but he would be a shit ruler.
bobby b is the GOAT baratheon (also not a great ruler though)
>Is Stannis Yea Forums's self insert? I mean he really isnt that great of a character. Hes complicated but he would be a shit ruler.
>bobby b is the GOAT baratheon (also not a great ruler though)
werent only like 2 targaryens crazy though?
>met gf and moved in together
>raging alcoholic at home
>she had no clue
>no one does to this day
>cry and piss myself to sleep while breaking shit almost every night
>she "loved" me and put up with my shit
>broke up with her as soon as she mentioned talking about it to my family
>she was heartbroken
>still drink a lot and not chad
>had multiple relationships since then but they don't last because i find them boring and am in love with a female friend who hasn't dated anyone since we've known each other
Females are weird like that. If there's something they find attractive about you, they'll disregard your shitty side and try to fix you.