Why was he considered the bad guy?

conans world is already a shithole

>he kills and burns to the ground whole villages
>he enslaves people
>he is a fucking giant snake

off with its head

Because hes Darth Vader.

Bro, his name is fucking Thulsa Doom. He was destined to be a bad guy. And a damn good one at that.

>>he is a fucking giant snake
What's wrong with being a fucking guaby snake, cis-species bigot?

Did Crom just flat out answer his prayer?

It seems conspicuous that Conan prayed once in his entire life and it immediately dropped a huge miracle on him

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>the cannibalism

this

The funny part is Conan himself even rejects considering him "the bad guy"

His desire to fucking kill him does not come from a place of morality and he's okay with that

He earnt crom's favour, so was rewarded.

some gods are rad like that, (((some))) are not.

One of the most retarded posts I've ever seen on Yea Forums. Congratulations.

THAT is flesh!

have sex or dilate.

2pbp

>he solved the riddle of steel

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Conan was never stronger than any of his opponents save for the will at the end to see through Thulsa's mind fuckery. Thorgrim and Rexor eere always stronger than he was. He outsmarted Thorgrin and got helo from Crom to beat Rexxor.

He seduced a white woman, that was his crime, killing Conan's people means nothing to the king who hires Conan to kill him.

I watched this yesterday, weird

>(((Some)))

Up yours bitch!

>Why are all these considered bad guys? Please spoon feed me because I'm retarded and don't understand the concept of a villain.

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I never understood the classical "fight naked" thing

Not even being prudish just saying having your junk hanging out like that while something/someone is actively trying to kill you seems like a pretty obvious handicap

you're going to flip when you find out how the Olympics and wrestling was originally fought.

THERE WAS A TIME BOY-

>Karloff's Frankenstein is a tragic protagonist
>Pinhead actively saves and protects people from worse monsters than himself
>the Crypt Keeper literally and unironically did nothing wrong, as in he has never harmed anyone in any way and seems to function mostly by telling people morality tales of warning
>that's the actual hero from The Exorcist at the bottom right
>Holy shit that's Ash Williams above him, the greatest hero in the universe
Worst fucking post of the month

I don't understand what he meant about being his father

Even then I'd assume there were, you know, rules

But the guy in that pic can't just declare "hey vicious snakes don't bite my fuck off okay?!"

He was a seemingly immortal figure from a lost Atlanteanesque nation, knew things lesser developed men didn't, was seen as a divine figure, a sorcerer, a demigod, etc. He was also a huge dick. Literally zero empathy (except maybe his two henchmen) and would have mass-killed the whole cult at the end there. He was definitely a baddo.

Mistook him for Luke Skywalker

conan is the right wing icon you stupid FUCK

basically but unironically. it's not meant to be taken especially literally, it's more of a celebration of the human form.=, which the greeks were way into. that ended up filtering its way through to classicism.

Because he had that stupid haircut lol

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>(except maybe his two henchmen)
I liked that aspect of Thulsa Doom; willing to sacrifice every single one of his followers, but seemed to genuinely care for his closest lieutenants.

>just look at those anthropomorphic baddies

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Wait I missed something, where was it implied that everybody at the pyramid was meant to be killed?

Because brainlets are incapable of realizing when something is just a prank bro

I recognize every single monster/person in this collage except for the one right above Freddy and the one to the left of Dracula (unless it's Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde).

it was a different time

They were going to self-immolate themselves after Doom's speech.

Because he was black

The tragedy Doom inflicted upon Conan made him who he was.

James Early Jones is 88 years old and probably only has a few more years at best

>The purging is at last at hand. The day of doom is here.

>All that is evil, all that have eyes, your parents, your leaders. Those who would call themselves your judges. Those who have lied and corrupted the earth. They shall all be cleansed. You, my children, are the water that will wash away all that has gone before.

>In your hand you hold my light... a gleam in the eye of Set. This flame will burn away the darkness... burn you away to paradise!
Shit, it's obvious now that you say it but for all these years I thought he was rallying his worshippers as an army to forth and destroy their own nations and families in his name

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John Milius is to rousing speeches what Tony Iommi is to guitar riffs.

The king's slutty daughter joined him of her own free will. Conan should have let her stay there and commit suicide.

Seems to me they were meant to go forth and murder their parents, leaders, etc.

Yeah that's what I always thought but the last line does have that "Kill yourself my man" quality to it

no

quit worshiping moloch you loser

Thot status: Begone'd.

That's leatherface dummy

>user, there comes a time when the memes cease to be funny
>the (you)s no longer sparkle
>the boards become a prison
>and all that's left is an user's love for shitposts.

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If making shiny flying death balls is wrong I don't wanna be right.

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Like you ever have

>The funny part is Conan himself even rejects considering him "the bad guy"
Nice headcanon, you waste of skin.

He's black

Does London after midnight guy have a name?

>unrelenting warlord with no redemption arc

Edward C. Burke, the hypnotist, the man in the beaver hat

yeah that's why the moment was fucking badass,Crom sees prayers as weak but he answered Conan's

He killed his family, he killed his tribe.

why didnt crom just give him his gf bacl ;(

>being this retared
Does this mean El is also Jove since that's what the romans called Him?

Some Gauls did it to try to show how badass they were.
The most famous Statue of a Gaul is a testament to how well that worked out for them

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Contemplate this on the Tree of Woe

KHHRROOOOOM WARE IS THE WIZARD WHO KILLED MY MUTHAAAA
youtube.com/watch?v=OBGOQ7SsJrw

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You don't let them bite your dick off. You cut their head off before they get the chance

>you will never be sold into slavery and forced into Conan's cage so he can stroke your hair and lovingly rape you

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he's a nignog?

I;m guessing Native actually, nigs don't generally have that nose shape and jowls,

It's more of the typical revenge, prove him wrong scenario.

Conan wanted to show he was superior to Thulsa Doom. He didn't consider him evil because the pre-historic people did not have the same notion of good and evil that we have today. Back then it was more animalistic in that you killed your competitor.

The world of Conan isn't really prehistoric, it's more like the bronze age but with steel and better looking armor

You could say he SET up his own downfall hahahaha.

He was the enemy of Conan

Remember, earlier the king tells the story about how a woman joined and then murdered her father?

Yeah, Conan-world is a dead ringer for Bronze age, but the Iron/steel is all over the place. It seems new though, which is why Thulsa Doom wanted it.

Could Conan-world work as late Bronze age transitioning into Iron age?

Conans world is the Hyborian age. Get with the lore

Conan is supposed to be some ancient pre pre history

But tech wise it’s pretty Bronze Age I guess, with all the slavery and sandal wearing high civilizations. But unfortunately the comics are not consistent with this and they put medieval and early modern looking civilizations which I ignore in my head canon and imagine Conan as Bronze/iron age

The comics may as well not be canon, especially if they weren't written by Howard, which I'm assuming they weren't given all the bullcrap you mentioned. Conan Exiles stays true to the movie and comic lore by having it be Bronze age level society with steel tools and weapons on top on some zany magic stuff that isn't too far out there.

Yeah exiles looks awesome, I’d play it if I had a good gaming pc

he was just going through a steel phase

the stories themselves were inconsistent somewhat

look at those eyes though. Can you really stay mad at him?

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Crom doesnt like people wasting prayers

>ORANGE MAN BAD
liberals can only sing one tune

What is this schizo trying to say

>Why shouldn't you worship the shape shifting immortal warrior sorcerer?

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Classic kikes. You never fail to out yourself.

>Sumerians don't pray
>Conan prays once
>Crom helps him out
Maybe the Sumerians should have prayed

The first twenty minutes or so of this film are so fucking perfect. I love it all but everything up to Conan being taken captive with that flawless Basil score is so good.

It was probably religious in nature and it wasn't common. I think the general idea was that the time of your death was pre-ordained by some godhead/collection of deities and so no amount of armour could save you if it was your time to die.

By stripping completely naked, you're showing your absolute trust in the god's protection, you're showing you're placing your life in their hands.

Also, in regards to the Celts, most of them wouldn't have been wearing body armour anyway, their principle protection came from their large shields so the real protective difference between a pair of trousers and just going into battle naked isn't anything really. This probably wasn't the wealthy, heavily-armed elite of Celtic society deciding to forsake their expensive and finely-made mail and helmets, it's a few, likely poor, warrior-fanatics with fuck-all to lose deciding woolen trousers will just slow them down and aren't going to stop a javelin or spear thrust anyway.

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When the Romans said the Gauls and Celts fought 'naked' they meant unarmoured. Romans also used fuck huge shields but also wore chain mail (and later lorica segmentum, which is what you think of when someone says roman armour). Meanwhile the Gauls and Celts only used shields and occasionally helmets. Naked warriors in sculpture and pottery are purely artistic licence and a holdover from Greek culture. Hoplites were pretty heavily armoured for the time and carried shields but art of them always had them naked too.

There were cultures that had little to no clothing for their warriors but those were confined to places like Africa and Australia where it was too hot to wear clothes in the first place.

>casually acts as if worship of immortal snake sorcerers is perfectly reasonable
>666

Begone serpent.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nudity_in_combat#Celtic_peoples

says actually naked here

The Gauls definately wore armour when available. Various Celtic groups definately did have naked warriors or at least warriors willing to fight naked and no, it's not just a Roman meaning 'unarmoured', the vast bulk of Rome's opponents wouldn't have had access to body armour, Roman legionaries were unusual for the time in that every man had armour and a sword.

There's no accounts of naked fighters amongst some of the other enemies of Rome, such as the Parthians or Dacians, neither of whom equipped all of their warriors with body armour.

Polybius in his account of the battle of Telamon, a battle between the Roman Republic and an alliance of Celts, even mentions the clothing (but not armour) of some elements of the opposing force in relation to the naked fighters;

>"The Insubres and Boii wore their trousers and light cloaks, but the Gaesatae had discarded these garments owing to their proud confidence in themselves, and stood naked, with nothing but their arms, in front of the whole army, thinking that thus they would be more efficient, as some of the ground was overgrown with brambles which would catch in their clothes and impede the use of their weapons."

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supposedly there has been steel since ancient times, just not widespread

>THAT SHOT
>THAT FUCKING SHOT
has anything ever surpassed this ever

crom knows that enduring hardship and pain makes you stronger

crom is like natural selection, cruel but beautiful and produces great things

have intercourse

The movie is about Hollywood punishing those who openly use their reptilian powers. JEJ can physically turn into a snake irl

it's va-zar
in hyperboria that points to a childs tranny heritage
thus making this a tranny thread
mods please

dilate

it's idealism
not realism
moron

Cimmerians. Not Sumerians.

Crom doesnt answer prays. He gives you what you need to live the moment youre born and thats it. Only the strong survive.

Canonically, the only time crom ever helped conan was when his kingdom was under siege by thoth amon and an entire countries army he 'convinced' to aid him in taking conans country. Conan was under siege for over a week, with them breaking through the front lines 3 days in. Conan himself fought for over 2 days straight non stop, a full 48 hours of no sleep and never ending battle. On the 49th hour, his body in horrid shape and holding off thousands of men by himself over the course of the 48 hours, not to mention being assualted at all times by wizards and their spells and conan having to fight them off and resit their spells, he was finally slain.

As he collapsed dead, the sky itself shook and the clouds pattered to a thunderous roar and everyone saw crom sitting upon his throne. He bellowed that no coward scorcery from the east will best his champion. If their weak gods wish to help their cowards, then he sees no reason to let his go unaided. He then revived conan to full strength and made it to as if he had slept for 10 full days and ate a weeks worth of the finest meats in all the land. Nothing else.

Conan slaughtered them all.

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More an example of pathetic nudity than historical accuracy. His nakedness lends to the overall pathos of the sculpture and evokes sympathetic emotion in the beholder.

>Did Crom just flat out answer his prayer?
>It seems conspicuous that Conan prayed once in his entire life and it immediately dropped a huge miracle on him

No, she said it earlier while he was in a coma that whatever hell she was in she'd crawl out to help him.

>Conan slaughtered them all.

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BRO LOOK AT THIS MAN'S FUCKIN HARICUT, LMFAO

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>a pretty obvious handicap
That's the point. You're so fucking badass that you fight with a handicap.

the 70s had a problem with sects. any cult leader is therefore evil by definition post-hippie era. you're welcome zoomer.

I like the little things they did unannounced in the movie, like how Doom having straight hair and blue eyes with his dark skin and features was meant to show how he was from a lost race of people. That he was the last of his kind, and it's suggested he was even Atlantean. That's all stuff they said behind the scenes at least, I don't know the actual source material or what the original author made up.

He wasn't Atlantean. He wasn't any race in particular from the stories. In fact the scene where Conan finds his sword in the tomb? That skeleton is an Atlantean general and it's like 8 feet tall.

what a woman she was

He lost so he was going to assuage his ego by making his cult mass suicide.

true valkyrie

I like puns

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Because snakes are always bad to plebs.

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Conan’s revenge was epic though, beheaded him, killed his pets, army, burned down his temple and destroyed his religion

need to be swwword the next time.

legends never die

It was the celts who invented chainmail.

He is white. His eyes are blue

They're purple.

>purple eyes
>wants his followers to self-immolate

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Oh shit. His ultimate goal was probably the extinction of all of humanity.

no, it wasn't crom. it was the gods the site was dedicated too. the same gods that provded them with armor. conan turned to them and thanked them after the battle was over

that line always bugged me. I he was 1000 years old , or at least half that then 20years ago is nothing .why would he say that

Seeing as how he is a magician, his consciousness and entire outlook necessarily change based on how advanced he's become.

>Encourages his followers to murder their parents
>Gets killed by the man he tries to call his son

KINO

fuuuuckkk

He's probably defining it by his philosophical maturity, so raping/pillaging equals young.

Pottery

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Actually loads of gauls fought naked, or mostly naked because it was safer. They didnt understand what they were doing they just knew anecdotally it worked. But basically clothing was disgusting traps of disease. So if you didnt have armor, if was far far safer being naked and stabbed then wearing closing and being stabbed, and having your literal shit rags forced into the wound.. They saw the higher survival rate of naked dudes, as favor of the gods for being bold and shit. Now if course it just started with some dude being fucking crazy. But humans very quickly catch on to things even if they dont understand them. The Belgea were known mostly for this. Naked dudes in battle wasnt like half the army or anything they were sorta like berserkers, but real.

Also have nothing to add just love this movie.

basically it was the realization that conquering was a less effective way of ruling the people than by making a cult around him to enslave from birth than by the sword.

this plays into his whole metaphor about the riddle of steel when he makes the young girl jump to her death from the balcony. the ownership over that woman via indoctrination was waaaaaaaay stronger of dominance over people than what he did to conan's family/mother

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>immortal
>died
:()

>sumerians

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